


Fit to be Tied

by TheSoulReader



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alpha!Eren, Alpha!Levi, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Emotional Sex, Eren's last name is spelled Jaeger because it's better, Hange is spelled as Hanji, Hanji is crazy because she's always crazy, Heat Cycles, Knotting, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Praise Kink, Pretty much the only dynamics that actually matter are Eren's and Levi's, Rough Sex, Scent Marking, Slow Burn, Smut, So much angst, Totes random, female Hanji, wtf am i doing with my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2018-09-28 00:03:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 70
Words: 127,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10058021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSoulReader/pseuds/TheSoulReader
Summary: "You don't smell right..."Four little words turn Levi's whole world inside out.





	1. Peculiar

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm still working on all of my other fics.
> 
> I just don't even know.

The morning dawned slowly, the sun beginning its sluggish rise over the walls of humanity’s false sanctuary.  The sky glowed purple and rose, and Levi woke from his slumber, bleary eyed and irritable.  Of course, that was in no way out of the ordinary for the stalwart captain. He was not a morning person. 

Or an afternoon person.

Or an evening person.

Levi existed primarily because he was required to.  He had a purpose, regardless of whether or not he found himself particularly well suited for it, and he would fulfill his duties.  He’d complain about those duties most assuredly, but they would be fulfilled nonetheless.

With a heavy sigh he swung his legs over the side of the bed, pausing momentarily as a strange sensation washed over him.  His brow furrowed as he contemplated what the issue was.  His skin felt too tight and his pajamas were suddenly irritating, a small heat pulsed in his belly, and his morning hard-on was unusually tender. The alpha was presently on suppressants to control his ruts, so that couldn’t be it.  And even if he weren’t, he certainly wasn’t due for one anytime soon.

Strange.

With a shake of his head he settled his feet onto the cold stone of his floor and began his morning routine of pushups, sit-ups, and a short round of meditation.  His subordinates would probably laugh if they knew he engaged in meditation.  Surely someone so surly couldn’t find inner peace after all.  But then, the raven so easily kept to himself, so readily turned all of his feelings inward, constantly compartmentalizing, it really shouldn’t be all that strange a discovery if anybody found out.

Levi huffed, standing to allow himself a luxurious stretch before disappearing into his private bath to finish preparing for the day.

* * *

“Mornin’, Captain,” Mike greeted as Levi took a seat in the dining hall.

“Zacharias,” he nodded back before turning his attention to the slop they called breakfast.  Disgusting.

Levi was pulled from his dubious meal as the sensation of warm breath blew over his scalp.  He stilled instantly, grey eyes ominously rolling towards the source, his voice low and gravelly as he spoke.

“What the shit do you think you’re doing, you overgrown hound dog?”

Mike was unperturbed by the captain’s ire.  That was par for the course.  What wasn’t was the way he smelled.

“You feeling alright, sir?  You don’t smell right.”

“What are you talking about?  I smell the same as I do every goddamned day!”

The beta frowned, sandy eyebrows drawing downwards rather comically.  While it was true that the sense of smell of most betas was comparatively weak to that of an alpha, and even many omegas, Mike was an exception.  His nose knew when something was off, and something was very off about the captain.

He dared to drop his head to sniff at one of the scent glands alongside Levi’s neck.  His reward for such an invasion was a left hook right in his godforsaken nose.

“OW!  Captain!”

“Mind your business!” Levi hissed, storming out of the hall, leaving behind an untouched meal and a bleeding behemoth.

* * *

At present, the small statured alpha was a whirlwind of rage, and the scent he was secreting was a very clear “FUCK OFF!” to anybody that knew anything about reading pheromone signatures.  That, however, did not stop Erwin from halting Levi in the midst of his silent tirade.

“Levi!  There’s something that I need to discuss…”

“Not now, Eyebrows!” the raven snarled, daring to bare a sharpened canine at his superior.

Erwin’s expression darkened at the rebuttal.  He inhaled in one quick breath and snorted it out hastily.

“What’s wrong with you?  You don’t smell right.”

“I’m fucking pissed!  Of course I don’t smell right you caterpillar browed jackass!”

Such a tumultuous interaction was normal for the two alphas, and so Erwin said nothing on the matter of Levi’s coarse language, but he couldn’t hide the concern in his eyes.  He took a step forward, and then another, crowding his subordinate into a nearby wall.  As Mike had done earlier, Erwin dipped his head and snuffled lightly at one of the scent glands on the captain’s pale neck.  Something in his scent made the blonde tingle from the crown of his head to the tips of his toes, but he was completely unsure as to why that was.

“Levi, are you sure you’re ok?”

The raven sneered and shoved his commander away, ignoring the strange ache he suddenly felt in his bones.

“I’m fine, just fatigued.  Those idiot cadets exhaust me,” he lied.

It was clear that Erwin bought none of it, but the blonde nodded all the same.

“If you’re not feeling right by the end of the day, I need you to go see Hanji.  It won’t do humanity any good to have its strongest soldier drop dead of some unnamed plague.”

“Fine, whatever!  I have brats to train,” Levi grit his teeth as he turned back down the hall and attempted not to fidget with the straps of his harness.  Why the fuck did they feel so goddamn tight?

Erwin watched him go, unable to blow the strange scent out of his nostrils.

* * *

Eren never stood a chance during the day’s training session.  The moment Levi had stepped onto the parade grounds the entire squad knew something was off.  He was an odd combination of pale and bright red, his scent a mixture of burned coffee and overripe fruit.  It was pungent, and distracting, and the second they had taken to the air Levi was on Eren’s ass.

“Goddamn it, Jaeger!  What in the seven fucking hells do you think you’re doing?!”

“I’m sorry, Captain!  I—“

“Don’t give me excuses you shitty brat!  Give me results!  Where are you and where is your team!?  Jesus fuck, are you trying to get everybody killed?!”

“No, sir!”

“Then why the shit is Jean on point when that’s where you’re supposed to be?  Fucking hell!”

Eren didn’t bother to answer.  No answer beyond action would be the correct one anyway.  He fired up his gas canisters and made to take point so Jean could fall back, but in his haste to correct his first mistake, he made a second.  His wires crossed over Levi’s, and there was a mad cacophony of shrieking and swearing as the pair of them collided.  They tumbled through the air, limbs akimbo, before smashing into a giant redwood and collapsing in a heap.

Levi ended up with his back to the trunk of the tree while Eren had skidded to a stop on his shoulders, ass up over his head, peering at his superior from between his legs.  A boot to his backside set the shifter right side up again, but he had no time to catch his bearings as his shirt was seized and glittering green eyes met malicious grey.

“I. Am going. To kill you,” Levi whispered in his ear, tone dripping malevolence.  “When I am done with you there won’t be enough pieces of you left to regenerate!”

Eren shuddered, eyes closing, head tipping up in submission.  He was an alpha, just like his captain, but he was still outmatched and outranked.  Levi could and would make good on his promise, and the shifter really wasn’t feeling so keen on dying today.

He chanced opening his eyes to find Levi staring at him with dilated pupils, noting how his hand shook with the grip on his shirt.  Christ, he was _beyond_ pissed.  Eren silently pleaded that Levi wouldn’t send the others back to base.  It would be so, so,  _so bad_ if he sent the others back to the base.

”Kirstein! Arlert! Ackerman!  Get back to headquarters!  Jaeger and I will be having a remedial lesson in proper gear usage.”

Fuck nuggets.

“Yes, sir!” Armin and Jean responded obediently.

Mikasa, however…

“It was not a request, Ackerman!  Back to headquarters! **NOW**!”

With one last stony look, Mikasa offered a semi-sarcastic salute and followed her comrades.

The moment Mikasa was out of sight, Levi’s rage swelled, Eren’s fear following right behind it.  The scent was tangy and bitter, and both men screwed their noses up at it.  There was conflict in the odors.  There was conflict between the two males.  But this wasn’t like anything Eren had ever experienced with Levi before, and he did his best to grovel, even going so far as to lay down on the large tree branch with his throat exposed.

“Pathetic,” the raven snorted at the brunette.

“Yes, sir,” Eren whispered in response.  He was embarrassed, and dejected, and…confused.  His captain’s scent had gone from disruptively sour to the slightest bit sweet, and he didn’t understand it.

“Captain Levi, sir…are you…are you feeling ok?”

Levi glared at him, flashing his teeth as he said, “I’d be just peachy if everyone would quit asking me that!”

The shifter flinched, cautiously rolling over to prowl a bit closer to the raven.  He watched the smaller male’s nostrils flare, but thought little of it.  At least until he mirrored the action, eyes going wide as cardamom and anise wafted up his nose.  Much like Erwin had done earlier that day, he forcefully blew the air back out in an attempt to clear his sinuses.

“I thought you were an alpha like me?” Eren blurted.  His confusion was too great to engage in any sort of caution.

“I am, you shitty brat!”

Eren frowned, shaking his head.

“But…but you smell like…are you _sure_ , sir?”

“I’m thirty fucking five years old, Jaeger!  I’ve been sure since I was thirteen!  Not that it’s any of your business.”

Levi didn’t look at Eren while he spoke.  He kept his eyes focused on the ground several meters below.  He tried to hide the quake of his body, the flush of his skin, tried to ignore the persistent irritation his clothing was causing him.  Did his damnedest to ignore the welcoming scent of fresh cut grass and violets that seemed to surround the shifter.

Since when did he smell so…alluring?

“Come on, we need to head back before someone thinks I dismembered you and buried your corpse all over the earth.”

“You…you’re not going to do that?”

The captain wrinkled his nose in distaste.  Killing the brat was always at the forefront of his mind due to his duty, but the last thing he ever wanted to actually have to do.

“Why were you distracted, Eren?  I know you know these patterns.  These drills aren’t new.  You know how to take point, and you know how to avoid tangling your fucking wires.”

Eren hesitated before bowing his head slightly, ever submissive to his superior, and asking, “Permission to speak freely, sir?”

“Granted,” the raven nodded.

“You don’t…you don’t smell…”

“I don’t smell right,” Levi sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

The brunette nodded, cheeks flushing pink.

“You smell good.  I mean, not that you ever smell bad, but you smell really, _really…_ ”

“Watch it,” came the low warning.

“Jean and Mikasa were watching you.  It was…it bothered me.”

“I’m their instructor, same as you, you dumbass.”

“No, Captain!” Eren hurried to continue.  “I mean they were _watching_ you.  Like alphas do when there’s an omega in…”

Levi’s eyes widened then, his face burning crimson before draining of all color.  It wasn’t possible.  It wasn’t fucking possible!  He’d gone through ruts!  He’d fucked omegas.  And betas.  He'd even fucked another alpha…once.  He knew what his secondary gender was!  There was no questioning it!  So why…

“Captain, sir, I really don’t want to speak out of turn, but if we could get back to HQ that would really be…I’d really appreciate it if…”

The raven didn’t need the shifter to finish his thought.  The tight uniform pants they wore were shit at hiding erections.  He’d been rocking a boner for the better part of the day himself.  But it was a lot easier to ignore one when you were in your mid-thirties, not hitting your sexual peak.  Granted, the problem for Levi was that while a hard-on was pretty normal for a 19-year-old boy, especially when adrenaline started rushing through his veins while using the 3DMG (flight boners, they called them), they really weren’t a common occurrence for him.  Beyond the biologically obligatory morning stiffy and his unsuppressed ruts, erections just weren’t a thing for Levi.  _Arousal_ wasn’t a thing for Levi.

So what the shit was going on with his body?  And why did he want that stupidly beautiful shifter to mount and breed him like the dirty dog he was?


	2. Collapse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha, I don't know what I'm doing.
> 
> But I can't seem to stop.
> 
> This is completely raw and unbeta'd. If anybody ever wants to be a beta/editor for me, do let me know

When Eren returned to headquarters with Levi, things were tense between them.  It wasn’t of the normal variety, brought on by a hard day’s work and mutual frustration.  It was new.  Unfamiliar.  The captain had always been difficult for Eren to read emotionally, but his scent could usually be used as an indicator as to his mood.  He frequently smelled spicy, and of the outdoors.  Ginger and pine.  Cardamom and anise didn’t make any sense.  It was too homey.  Too…omega.

To Levi, Eren smelled as he always had.  Something grassy, floral, full of sunshine.  That wasn’t out of ordinary.  What _was_ out of the ordinary was that Levi liked it.  A lot.  A whole hell of a lot.  The odor was so enticing that he had purposely trailed behind Eren on the return trip in order to catch his scent on the wind as they flew.

It was shameful.

“Go to the mess and then straight to your bunk,” the raven ordered curtly.  “Discuss nothing with any of those idiots, do you understand?”

“Yes, sir!” Eren saluted hastily, scurrying off to the mess hall as quickly as his legs could carry him.

* * *

The shifter was immediately swarmed upon his entrance to the dining area.  Jean was the first once in his face, wide eyed and incredulous.

“There are no bruises!  How are there no bruises?!”

“There are never any bruises, fucking Horseface!  I regenerate!”

While it was true that Eren was a terrible liar, it was also true that his healing abilities made it possible for his present lie of omission – that Levi hadn’t touched him – to be perfectly plausible.  The pair of them had been gone long enough that even if the captain had beaten a lesson into him he would have already healed.

“What did he do to you, Eren?  I swear I’ll run that little midget through,” Mikasa growled, eyes cold and blank.

“Mikasa, I’m fine, I swear, it’s not—“

“Are you sure you’re alright, Eren?  The captain didn’t do anything…unsavory?” Armin chimed in, eyes strangely glassy.

“For fuck’s sake, guys, I’m fine!  It’s fine!  We’re all fine!  Can we just grab some chow, please?  It’s been a hard day and I’m starving!”

The quad grabbed their evening meal of thinned down vegetable soup and stale bread, plunking down at the first open table they found.  There was silence save for some wet slurps and hasty swallows, but it didn’t last long.  It never lasted long.

“Something’s wrong with the captain,” Jean stated idly.

“There’s nothing wrong with—“ Eren attempted to interject, frowning.

“No, I think Jean’s right,” Armin followed up quietly.  “He was off today. Irritable.”

“He’s always irritable,” Mikasa snorted.

“Well, yeah, but I mean, more than usual.  He kept pulling at his harness.  Was scratching a lot, too.  Do you think he’s sick?”

“Maybe he’s got a drug problem,” Jean shrugged idly.

“You shut your mouth, Pony Express!” Eren glared at his compatriot, eyes darkening with ill intent.

“Relax your sac, Jaeger.  Christ, I know you’ve got a stiff one for the captain, but come on.”

“Jean, I don’t think that you should—“

“Oh come on, Armin!  We all see it!  It’s pathetic!  An alpha pining after another alpha is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen!  Even if Levi does currently smell like a bitch in—“

And then there was a yelp, a crash, and Jean was sprawled out on the floor grasping his jaw, Eren standing over him, seething.

“Don’t you talk about him like that ever again!  _Ever_!  Do you hear me?”

The shifter turned on his heel to stomp down to his cell, stopping to look back over his shoulder and say, “Somebody put that horse back in his stall.”

* * *

Levi lay in his bed, still and silent, staring up at the ceiling blankly.  He was valiantly ignoring the ever persistent length that rested between his legs, hot, heavy, and demanding to be touched.

He refused.

Such carnal indulgences were unnecessary outside of his ruts, and he wasn’t in rut.  He was…he was…

 _Fuuuuuuuuuuck_ , what the shit _was this_?!  He’d even had to give up the ghost and sleep nude, sans bedsheets because it was all irritating his skin.  It felt like he was rolling on sandpaper.  And when he turned over onto his belly in an attempt to ignore the rager between his thighs, he only ended up rutting into the mattress like a slutty juvenile.

All Levi could think about was the way Eren had moved towards him while they were up in that tree.  It wasn’t the simpering crawl of a subordinate, but the predatory prowl of someone who knew something.  Someone who knew something more than he did.  That brat was young and inexperienced, at least to the best of Levi’s knowledge, but he was old enough to understand how to read pheromone signatures.  And it wasn’t as if Eren had been the first one of the day to comment on how he smelled.

Levi couldn’t help but wonder if the shifter understood that his blown pupils weren’t induced by rage, and that his shaky hand hadn’t been fueled by more of the same.  That idea was quickly relegated to the proverbial trash heap when he considered the odor that had soured the air following his proximity to the boy.  That bitterness that snapped at the back of his tongue as he’d inhaled it.

The secret of the captain’s arousal was well kept…for now.  But he still didn’t understand.

“Would you go away?!” he growled at his crotch.  “We are too old for this bullshit!”

His dick twitched as if in answer, mocking him.

* * *

“Come on, come _on_!” Levi panted desperately.  It had been five hours since he had turned in for bed.  Four of them had been spent ignoring the erection that refused to depart.  The last had been spent in a futile attempt to reach orgasm.

His palm, oil slicked though it was, wasn’t getting him anywhere, his cock long past numb from the constant stimulation.  He’d tried fucking into it, jerking it like when he’d been new to the whole idea of masturbation, he even caved and shoved his fingers up his ass, which was distasteful to him for reasons of hygiene rather than feeling any sort of shame.

He’d gotten absolutely nowhere, and now his balls hung heavy and sore with the need for release.  To top it all off, he was absolutely burning up.  His skin was sweaty and his stomach rolled with some unfamiliar sensation that was barely tolerable.  Christ, why didn’t he go to see Shitty Glasses earlier?  This was probably the first time that Levi regretted not taking an order from Erwin.

It was probably nearing four in the morning and everyone would be waking soon.  If he was going to see Hanji, it had to be now, before the castle sprung to life for the day.  And so he heaved himself from his sheet-less bed, grimaced as he painstakingly pulled on white jeans that felt like fire against his thighs, and with trembling fingers, buttoned a shirt that slid against over-sensitized skin like shards of glass.

He stumbled, uncoordinated and weak, to the scientist’s laboratory.  He knew she wasn’t in her room.  She never was.  The idle thought that it was stupid to even provide her quarter flitted through his fevered mind.  A delirious laugh passed his lips, and he was positive that he had somehow caught her manic psychosis.

When Levi finally reached the lab he made to barge in as he always did, but his entrance was as flat and unsteady as he felt.  He merely fell through the entry way, stumbling as he shut the door behind him.

“Hanji!” he attempted to bellow, but his mouth was too dry to allow it.

“Hey, Short Stack!” the bespectacled scientist called from behind a pile of books and papers.  “What’re you doin’ in here so bright and ear…ly…” she trailed off as she rounded her tomes, eyes going wide as she took in the state of the captain.  Her nostrils flared and she crossed the lab in great haste.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Levi spat, though it lacked fire.  He swayed on his feet, brow furrowed with the concentration of remaining upright.

“Levi,” Hanji approached him cautiously, scrutinizing. “Levi, you don’t smell right…”

“Fuck you, you four…eyed…” the raven slurred before collapsing in a boneless heap on the floor.

“Well that can’t possibly be good,” the mad doctor pursed her lips, pinching her chin between thumb and forefinger while she stared down at her diminutive companion.

“It’s about to get worse,” a deep voice spoke gravely.

Erwin stood in the doorway, his gaze grim and foreboding.  No.  No, things were definitely not good.


	3. Menace

Down in the dungeon there was an incessant rattling of chains as an irritated titan shifter paced back and forth in his cell.  His eyes were aglow, luminescent in the dark, and it was disconcerting to the green eyed redhead who had been tasked to watch him.  His movement was ceaseless, breaths shallow and ragged, face twisted up in a visage of pain.

“Eren, you need to calm down,” Petra spoke softly, trying to soothe the young male and convince him to rest.

“Something’s not right.  Not right, not right, not right.  I can’t be here.  Can’t, can’t, can’t,” Eren babbled, nearly incoherent.

“You need to tell me what the problem is.  I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

The brunette’s nostrils flared, his head raising to scent the stale air of the dungeon.  There was _something_ there, but it was so, so faint.  Faint, but meant for him. 

Cardamom and anise.  Home.

_Levi._

A strangled noise, something akin to a pained roar, rushed from Eren’s chest as he strained and struggled against his bonds.  It was a futile effort, he knew it was, but he had to get to him.  Had to, had to, _had to_.  Sweat trickled down his brow and he gnashed his teeth.  He wouldn’t transform down here, not without permission.  He would never force Levi to make the choice of destroying him. 

But he wanted to.  Oh, God, he wanted to, just so he could get to him, protect him, make that man _his._

“Petra, please. _Please_!  I can’t be here! He’s calling for me and I _can’t_ …”

The beta frowned, confused.  She scented the air as Eren had, but there was nothing for her to note beyond mildew and cold stone.

“Levi is fine, Eren.  You’re just out of sorts.  There’s nothing…”

She was wrong.  She was wrong, wrong, wrong.  The shifter knew it, even if he couldn’t prove it to her.  And so he wailed again, his scent desperate and cloying as he fell to his knees and his body called for a man that he couldn’t reach.

* * *

 “Christ, he’s hotter than a whore’s mouth,” Erwin muttered, scooping Levi from the stone.

“Who taught you to speak like that, Commander?” Hanji grinned, leading the way to a (surprisingly) clear exam table.  She knew the answer, of course, having heard the good captain utter the phrase more than once over the years. Her grin quickly dissipated as she pressed her hand to Levi’s forehead, who remained cradled in the blonde’s arms.  Erwin hadn’t been kidding.

Levi stirred beneath the touch, eyes fluttering open.  Everything smelled wrong, felt wrong.  It was disturbing him.  He began clawing at his shirt, trying to pull it off, but his hands trembled too much to loosen the buttons.

“Get it off, get it off, get it off!” he cried out, tearing at the fabric.

“Levi, calm down!”

A heavy weight was on top of him then and he shrieked in response.

_Smells wrong. Smells **wrong**!  _

The scent that enveloped him was that of pepper and oranges.  He wanted a meadow wafting through his nose.  Bright sunshine and sweet flowers.

“Get off me!”

His fists hit a solid mass of muscle, but it did not yield.  He was too weak to put up a proper fight, at least with his arms.  So the enraged alpha went with the next best thing.  Teeth.  He felt the give of flesh beneath his incisors, the slight crunch of cartilage, and then he tasted blood, hot and metallic, welling up in his mouth. It was disgusting and he nearly choked on it, but Levi didn’t dare let go.  He ignored the shout of agony, tuned out the cries of his name.  It wasn’t until a meaty hand closed around his throat, threatening to crush his windpipe that he relinquished his hold. 

He spat the remnants of gore out of his mouth after a deep inhalation of sweet oxygen, a menacing growl thrumming low in his chest.  The scent of pepper and orange surrounded him again, but then it was twining with something lighter, calming.  Sweet lavender.

The raven’s eyelids fluttered and he swayed on the table as pale grey eyes met with an icy storm.  There was no anger there, just barely disguised pain.  It was then that Levi came back to himself, horrified to realize that he’d bitten Erwin.  The man’s large hand that had moments ago been wrapped around his subordinate’s throat was now pressed roughly against the area just above his left pectoral.  Crimson flowed freely through his thick fingers and he was tightlipped with agony.

“Levi, you have to calm down.  Calm down.  It’s ok.  Everything is alright.”

“Erwin, I…I don’t…I…” the captain stammered.  Levi had always been a man of few words, but a lack of eloquence had never been an issue.  He was crass and brash, most assuredly, but he had a strong grasp on language.  He didn’t know what to say about this.  How was he supposed to deal with this?

“It’s fine.  Levi it’s fine.  You have to let Hanji look at you.  You’re not well,” the blonde spoke quietly.  To mistake his tone for tenderness would be foolhardy.  He was merely trying to keep his second in command at ease.  They had to get to the bottom of this.

Levi only stared, his tongue flicking out of its own accord to taste the blood that stained his mouth.  His commander’s blood.  His head turned sharply, throat bared.  An offer for the elder alpha to retaliate.  The need to submit was horrendously strong, and it disgusted the raven, but he couldn’t fight it.

Erwin did not allow himself retribution, but his scent morphed slowly.  Lavender gave way to something earthy and primitive, and the blonde pitched his voice low to command Levi to lay down.

Levi complied.  He had no choice but to.

Blonde eyebrows dipped to form a thoughtful crease in the commander’s forehead, his free hand raising to cover his mouth as he watched Hanji pull books from shelves and gather instruments from drawers.  All Levi could do was gasp a quiet “yes” or “no” to inquiries she made.

Yes, he’d had plenty to drink.

Yes, he was in pain.

Where?  Everywhere.

No, he hadn’t injured himself.

No, he hadn’t gone anywhere unusual.

Hanji’s frown matched Erwin’s then, and she asked the question she’d been avoiding.

“How long have you had that erection, Levi?”

“F-fuck off, you psychotic…”

“It’s important.  I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t need to know.”

And that was true.  Hanji was invasive and she had no boundaries.  She was a meddler through and through.  But with Levi, there were some things she just wouldn’t ask, regardless of her curiosity.  It had nothing to do with his embarrassment over his body, or hers over asking about it.  It was respect given to the life he had been forced to lead as a child.  Painful memories that didn’t need to be brought to the fore simply because she thirsted for knowledge.

“Off and on since yesterday.  C-can’t get rid of it now.  Tried.  I couldn’t…couldn’t…” the raven whined and then moaned, hand grasping at the painful bulge in his trousers and rutting against his palm.  “Make it go away.”

Erwin blew out a rough breath, a shudder and groan of his own following straight after.  The thinnest sliver of blue iris was visible; his pupils having blown wide at Levi’s declaration.

“Commander?” the brunette tilted her head, her eyes naturally drifting lower to catch a matching swell in Erwin’s pants. “Oh…”

“Stop staring at me and tell me what’s wrong with my second in command.  He’s obviously non-functional, and we really can’t afford that right now.”

“Sir?”

The blonde scrubbed at his face with his clean hand, attempting to suppress a shudder.

“Eren’s in rut.”

“That’s not possible!  He was just in!”

“It’s not supposed to be possible for him to turn into an enemy of humanity either, but here we are!  Hanji, I need to know what’s going on, and I need to know _now_!”

“Alright!  But this is going to take time!  I need to examine…LEVI!”

The raven couldn’t take it anymore.  While idiot four eyes and Commander Caterpillar argued, he had stripped down to all his pale, nude glory.  He panted and writhed on the exam table, dick in hand once again as he tried to relieve the pressure in his groin.

“I can’t t-take this! M-make it stop!” he stuttered.  Levi Ackerman didn’t stutter.

Erwin’s scent flared high and hot as he made to move towards Levi.  His approach was halted by Hanji drawing her scouting knife on him.  The commander actively growled at her, canines flashing white and sharp as he pulled his lips back. Though her instinct to submit nearly won out, she managed to shove down her fear.

“Don’t, Erwin.  You think about what you’re doing.”

Realistically, if he wanted to, Erwin could kill the beta as easily as he plucked a flower.  He wanted the alpha on the table.  Badly.  He had no romantic inclinations for the raven.  He never had.  And not simply because the pair of them were alphas.  Levi was too stubborn, too independent, too…Levi.  That remembrance was jarring enough for him to rein in his instincts and head towards the hallway.  Even with the sounds of his second furiously masturbating on an exam table, audience be damned.

Hanji followed, grateful to see Moblit coming down the corridor to begin their day of work together.

“Mobi!  Take the commander to the medical office, patch up that wound on his chest.  Then come back here straight away!  Knock first, understand?”

“Hanji?’

“Emergency.  Just do it!”

And the mad scientist disappeared back into her lab, leaving Moblit dumbfounded in the hallway with a bloody commander beside him and muted moaning sounding through the door.


	4. Strain

The lock of the door clicked as Hanji made the lab slightly more secure.  It was for the benefit of her patient, not her own.  She was officially entrenched in fascination, darting about the room to quickly collect jars, gauze pads, and various swabs and syringes to collect samples.  A sheet also found its way into her grasp to become a makeshift drapery for the still writhing Captain.  He’d exhausted himself once more and was laying limp and red-faced on the exam table, chest heaving, face sweaty.

“Fucking fix me, you dolt!” Levi spat as his back arched, another spasm of pain ripping through his stomach.

The brunette said nothing.  She merely raised her hands to start tipping his head this way and that, dropping her head to snuffle at a scent gland that was clearly working overtime.  The captain’s throat was drenched in pheromone heavy oil, and she grabbed a cotton swab to dab at it before dropping it in a jar, following up with a gauze pad that she pressed against his throat to sop up the mess and dropping it into another jar.

“This should yield some interesting results!” she declared.

“Why aren’t my suppressants working, Shitty Glasses!”

She ignored Levi’s inquiry, tapping at his shoulder and asking him to sit up.  He did so with some difficulty, and once he was upright she grabbed his nape and squeezed.  Brown eyes went wide, grin maniacal and pleased as the raven went semi limp.  He tried to swipe at her but his reaction time was considerably slower than usual.

Interesting!

Levi mumbled at her, words forming too slowly to be decipherable, and grey eyes made a slow roll in her direction.  His gaze was absolutely murderous and no amount of sickness could remove the ill intent from those stormy irises.

Hanji released him then, raising an eyebrow at her tiny companion while she moved to fall heavily onto a stool at the foot of the exam table.  She already had a pretty good idea of what was happening, but she wasn’t willing to speak on it until she was sure.  All she could do was pat gently at his calf, deftly dodging when the raven attempted to kick her.

Still too slow.

“I’ve basically seen everything there is to see, Short Stack, but I really do need to take a more thorough look.  Could you…”

Levi growled, but gave in to the unfinished question, hiking up his sheet and spreading his legs.  Modesty was not something the captain was concerned with.  Not with everything he’d experienced in his lifetime.  And his colleague had already witnessed him mercilessly jacking himself on her exam table.  What embarrassment could he possibly experience at this point?

“Fingers!” was all the warning Levi received before he felt unexpected digits prodding at his asshole.

“What the shit do you—FUUUUUUUUUUCK!”

He went from homicidal to wanton in seconds, hips instinctively rutting downwards.  His body tried to twist, but Hanji held him to the table with her free hand, head popping up to address him.

“Your prostate is remarkably swollen.”

“Uh—huh…wha…what?”

She crooked her fingers, snorting when Levi all but leapt off the table and resumed stroking at himself, chasing his long overdue orgasm.  At that point, Hanji had all the information she needed, and she withdrew, ignoring the desperate moan from her captain.

“Soooo, you’re gonna be really mad.  I mean, this is super awesome for me, but you’re gonna be _super_ pissed.”

“What the fuck you on about, you nut job?!”

The doctor rounded the table, holding up glistening fingers for glassy grey eyes to take in.

“The suppressants aren’t working because you’re not in rut.  You’re in heat.”

* * *

 “I need…to get out,” Eren moaned, collapsed against the wall of his cell.  His wrists were bloody, pants stained crimson from his repeated attempts to free himself.  His body healed his wounds over and over again.  He ignored the pain.  It was nothing compared to the agony that constricted in his chest.  The desperation that clawed at him to get to Levi.

“Eren, you’re exhausted.  You need to eat.”

Petra was still there, still speaking to him, quiet and calm.  It had been three or four hours since she’d first arrived, and she’d lost count of how many times the boy had unintentionally wounded himself.  For the first hour she’d had concerns that he was going to transform in the dungeon, crushing everyone and everything.  By the second hour, her concern had waned considerably and all of her attention had been focused on settling the youth.  By the third hour she was torn between trying to knock him out herself and admiring his unwavering tenacity, despite his obvious exhaustion.

Eren didn’t respond to her words.  He only slumped against the wall, allowing the stone to hold up his spent body.  His arms were a constantly changing rainbow as his bruises healed.  He wore a chameleon’s flesh presently, shades of yellow, blue, purple, and green marring his skin.  He had no desire for food.  The only way his hunger would be sated was to be allowed Levi’s presence.

“Please…” he whispered once more before toppling over.

He hadn’t given up.  He wasn’t defeated.  Petra knew better by now.  The young cadet had merely passed out.  She wasn’t particularly surprised, considering the amount of energy he was expending.  Between his squalling, injuring himself, and healing, she had serious concerns about him simply dropping dead.  The frequency of his blackouts increased the longer they stayed down there, as did the time he spent unconscious.  It would be bad for the entirety of humanity if their secret weapon were to meet his demise because of a temper tantrum, and so the redhead made the decision to find the commander so he could decide on their next course of action.

Petra turned to exit the dungeon, only to find herself halted by the towering blonde she had been going to find.  Her nose was mere millimeters from the bottom of his sternum and she hastily hopped back to offer a startled salute.

“Commander Smith, sir!”

Erwin waved her off, looking down at her as he spoke.

“Find Eld, Gunther, and Oluo.  Clear out anybody in the laboratory wing and prepare a horse and wagon.”

A storm was brewing in Erwin.  Petra felt it, smelled it.  There was something furious simmering beneath the surface and she wasn’t going to question his orders or his motives.  She didn’t understand what was going on, but she was a soldier.  It wasn’t her place to understand, only to act.

“Sir!” she saluted once more before dashing off to find her colleagues.  A formal dismissal was not required, that much she knew.  She only hoped that whatever her superior had in mind, it would ease Eren’s volatile state.

* * *

 “It’s not possible.”

“Levi, I’m telling you…”

“You’re wrong!”

“I’m not.  I know you want me to be, but…I’m not.  You know I’m right, Levi.  You’re 35 years old, you know what rut feels like.  Can you honestly tell me that you thought the suppressants were failing?”

The raven sat stone faced, legs tucking up against his chest as he brought his hands around to hug his knees.  He was curling in on himself, attempting to protect…he didn’t know.  His dignity?  His pride?

“I…have a theory.  But I don’t think you’ll like it any more than what I’ve already told you.”

He only hummed, chin resting on his knees while he focused a blank stare on the lab room door.  It didn’t matter what Hanji said next.  Levi was already shutting down.  It wasn’t something he normally did, choosing instead to face his problems head on.  But he wasn’t able to process the information he’d been given.  He was an alpha.  He’d had his first rut at thirteen.  He was…an alpha.

“I’ve read in some of Cadet Arlert’s books that there are lizards in the world that change their sex when there is a lack of suitable mates available.  Too high a population of one gender or another.”

A derisive snort reached Hanji’s ears, but she continued.

“I think there’s someone you need, Levi.  Not someone you want, someone you _need._ Someone you feel you can’t have.  And somehow, some way, your body is trying to adapt to that.  To allow you what you need to survive.”

“There is no one,” the raven responded flatly.

“Isn’t there?  You’ve been calling for somebody the entire time you’ve been in here.  I know you can’t smell it, but…I can.  And if it’s strong enough that even I can tell, they have to know.  It was enough to disturb Erwin.”

The captain raised his head at that, eyes widening the slightest bit.

“Erwin…I bit him,” Levi rumbled, still aware of the blood on his lips.  He’d been so frenzied earlier that he hadn’t even had the presence of mind to go wash his face.

“You did.  Moblit’s patching him up.  It’s just a flesh wound, he’ll be fine.  But you…I don’t know what to do for you.  And between you being in heat and Eren being in rut, we have a major problem here.”

“How could he be in?!  He just finished last week!”

“That’s what I told Erwin, and all he had for me was Levi brand snark.  Did you guys make a deal that he gets to be a smartass when you’re incapacitated?  I’m not complaining, it’s hilarious, but seriously, I can’t handle more than one of you.”

“Who’s watching the kid right now?”

“Petra.  He was extremely agitated when he was locked up last night, and she seemed the best choice.  She’s not antagonistic, she’s a beta, and they get on ok.”

“Fuck, I’m gonna have to go down there,” Levi winced and doubled over as another spasm rippled through his abdomen.  He retched at the force of it, though there was nothing in his belly to splatter upon the floor since he had skipped dinner last night.

“You can’t go down there like this, Levi!  He’s already upset, and he’s in rut!”

“I can’t just leave him to stew.  You know how he gets!”

“Yeah!  I do know how he gets!  He’s predictable!  His stability is a little tenuous, but he’s still predictable!  If you go down there, we don’t know what he’ll do!  We can’t afford the risk!  Not to either of you!”

“Listen you four eyed piece of…”

He grunted and doubled over once more, lithe fingers twisting in raven strands as his body seized up again.  The captain wasn’t thinking clearly, wasn’t being logical.  Yes, he had a duty to protect Eren, but right now the best thing he could do to protect the kid was to stay away from him.  Levi’s pained tirade was further cut off by a timid knock at the door, which Hanji was grateful for.  She unlocked it and opened it just enough to verify it was Moblit before hurriedly ushering him inside and securing the room again.

“How’s Erwin?” Hanji inquired.

“He’ll be fine.  A poultice a couple times a day will take care of possible infection.  But I think we have more pressing matters that probably need to be addressed.”

“What are you talking about? What’s happening?”

“Nothing…yet.  But the halls…they reek.  Things are tense, and I don’t like it.  I had to stare at my shoes the whole way back here. The alphas have their hackles up, the omegas are squabbling with each other, and the betas are trying to figure out how to deal with all the conflict.”

“It’s only 0530!”

“I know…”

“Shit.  Fuck.  Shit,” the brunette swore under her breath, eyes falling on the jar that contained Levi’s gauze pad.  Her eyebrows shot towards her hairline as she snatched it up along with an unsullied piece and made for the door.

“Hanji!”

“Lock this fucking door!  Don’t let anybody in here but me, do you understand?  You keep the captain in here too, don’t let him out!  Hog tie him if you have to!”

“He’ll kick my ass!”

“Not right now he won’t!  He can’t!  I’m serious, Mobi!  Do whatever you have to do!  I’m going to go tame me a shifter!”

And with a slam of the door, Hanji was gone.


	5. Burn

As soon as the beta was out of earshot Erwin made his way towards the cell.  A deep cacophonous rumbling halted him, eyebrows dropping as he registered the noise.  Eren was growling at him.  Growling.  At _him._   And then he watched as the boy raised his head, green eyes glowing the same as when he was in his titan form.  His canines glinted in the torchlight of the dungeon, chin soaked with drool.  The boy was threatening him, clear as day, and had the situation not been so dire the commander would have likely been amused.

As it was, the alpha wanted to respond in kind to the treatment he was receiving.  He wanted to force submission, humiliate, make the shifter understand that in no uncertain terms he was an underling.  But instinct did not rule Erwin.  It never had and never would.  He listened to it when necessary, but it was not necessary now, merely a nuisance.

“Eren,” the blonde finally spoke, voice level, demanding attention.  “Eren, look at me.”

The brunette was staring in his direction with hard eyes, but he was looking through him, not at him.  It was only Erwin’s presence that had roused him

“Levi’s safe, Eren.  He’s alright.”

The growling continued, the boy’s eyes still wild and unfocused.  He seemed possessed, running only on instinct, the desire to fight igniting his blood.  His scent flared hot and smoky, similar to a bonfire.  Eren was absolutely incensed and the commander wasn’t even sure there was any way to get through to him.

Erwin dropped into a squat to rest on the balls of his feet, forearms neatly perched over his knees.  Perhaps a more direct approach would be more effective.

“Are you a boy? Or are you a beast?  I know you’re in there, Eren.  Do you think Levi would want to see you this way?  A monster ruled by instinct rather than reason?”

“Le…vi…” the brunette gasped, chains rattling as he struggled to his feet.  “I…need…”

The blonde hummed, eyes calculating as he watched the young cadet stagger about.  He took in the bloodstains and bruises, raw wrists and dark circles under the brunette’s eyes.  He was a mess.  He needed to eat, but he wasn’t coherent enough to follow such an order.  As it was, he’d returned to his snarling, and so Erwin chose to give Eren some space, moving across the dungeon floor to take a seat on a nearby bench and keep watch.

* * *

Hanji made her way through the castle, excitement radiating from every pore.  She had figured out the problem.  At least in part.  Eren being in rut while Levi was in heat was _far_ too coincidental, especially when Eren had just been in.  The shifter already cycled more frequently than other alphas, monthly as opposed to every six, but for him to have gone out and come back in…that required a catalyst.  Levi had to have pulled the boy in.  And if Levi’s biology was altering for Eren, the question wasn’t _why_.  Anybody with eyes could see why, as the raven wasn’t as covert about his feelings regarding Eren as he thought he was.  The question was _how_.

Dashing along, she nearly collided with Petra as she approached the stairway to the dungeon.  Petra reached out to grab Hanji by her forearm, eyes wide as she spoke as quickly as she could manage.

“Squad Leader Zoe!  What’s going on?  Do you know?”

“Science, my dear!  Science!  Where are you off to?”

“Commander Smith told me to collect Eld, Gunther, and Oluo.  We’re to clear the lab floor and ready a horse and supply cart.”

Hanji frowned at the information, putting it together as quickly as she could.  Erwin meant to send at least one of the males out of the compound.  Whether or not that was wise for the pair as individuals was immaterial.  She had broken up four fights on the way to the dungeon as it was.  One of them had to leave the castle.  Theoretically, Levi would be the proper choice.  The removal of his pheromones would allow the alphas to settle…but the possibility of Eren falling into a frenzy was also high.

There was obviously only one correct answer.

“You take Oluo with you and clear the lab floor.  Eld and Gunther need to prepare the cart and horse.  Find the rest of my squad and pair everybody in the castle off in groups off three.  One of each dynamic per group.  Use the training fields at the back of the grounds.”

“Sir?”

“Do it!  And quickly!  We don’t have a lot of time to work with here!”

“Sir!” Petra saluted and ran off.

Hanji wasted no more time, descending the dungeon stairs two at a time, glass jar carefully tucked against her side as she rushed to her destination.  When she reached the bottom she took in the young shifter, drooling and snarling from within his cell, eyes unfocused and inhumanly bright.

“Damn it…”

“Is there something you need to tell me, Squad Leader Zoe?” Erwin intoned from the bench.

“He’s falling into blood rut, Erwin,” Hanji spoke breathlessly.  “Shit.  Shit, shit, shit.”

“That’s not possible.  It’s only been a few hours…” Erwin frowned at the news, disbelieving.

“Yeah, well, our star alpha is in heat and Eren was just in rut a week ago.  What’s possible has kinda been blown out of the water here,” the scientist spat.

“Levi’s in heat!?”

Hanji ignored him, focusing on the shifter instead.  She moved slowly, eyes cast downwards, the coveted jar in her hands.

“Heyyyyy, Eren.  Hey, sweetheart,” she cooed softly, twisting off the lid of the jar as quietly as she could.  “I know you’re upset, honey.  I know.  I’m here to help you, it’s alright.”

Eren lunged at the bars, restraints pulling taut as he quivered at the end of them, slavering and gnashing his teeth.  Hanji couldn’t hold back her cringe.  The scent of him was overpowering.  Demanding, feral, _furious_.  He smelled like he could burn the entire castle to ashes on a moment’s notice, and it was terrifying.

“Shhhh, shhhh, I know.  I have something that will make you feel better,” she whispered, pulling the gauze pad from the jar.

That had the boy’s attention.  He stilled instantly, eyes wide, breathing deep as he took in the scent.  He continued to tremble, but was considerably more subdued, his feral vocalizations having dulled to low rumbling. 

“That’s it, sweetie, I’m coming to help you,” the brunette cautiously continued forward, grabbing the cell key from her belt.  She was glad she’d had the presence of mind to take it off of Levi’s belt when he had shucked his pants.

“Hanji…” Erwin warned, voice low.

“Shut up, Erwin!  This is for science!” she declared. “And to keep our headquarters intact…”

The door was unlocked and the doctor slipped inside, gauze held out all the while.  The shifter’s eyes were so grossly dilated there was no color left to be seen, his irises swallowed up by blackness.  They did nothing but track the motion of that small piece of fabric, and the boy seemed immobilized by its presence.

“That’s good Eren, that’s good.   Stay right there, and I can give you what you need.”

And then she was pressing the gauze to a scent gland.  The violent reaction she had been expecting did not come.  While Eren did rub the gauze rather vigorously over himself before snuffling and inhaling it with great force, he didn’t lash out, didn’t attack.  He merely looked at Hanji, teary eyed and apologetic.

“I’m…sorry,” he gurgled, exhaling in a shuddering breath. “I need…Levi…I…need…”

And the tears fell.

Gentle arms wrapped around the boy’s waist and she pulled him into her body.

“I don’t understand,” he cried.  “I can control it.  I can…I’m not an animal.  I don’t understand.”

Hanji shushed him as she looked over his shoulder to find Erwin’s eyes.  He appeared impassive, but something was going on in his head, and she understood his concerns.  Even so, she couldn’t address them while Eren was falling apart in her arms, trying to fight off yet another instinct so strong it made him dangerous to others.

“It’s ok, Eren.  He doesn’t understand either,” the doctor murmured as she hugged him tighter.

She let him cry.

 


	6. Breathe

It took Eren a few minutes to calm himself, but when he’d managed to rein his emotions in once more, Hanji quietly asked permission to press the dry gauze she’d brought to his other scent gland.  He did not question her motives, only tipped his head up to allow her access.  Much like Levi, his glands were swollen and leaking copious amounts of oil.  She sopped up what she could and placed it in the jar she’d brought down with her.  Alphas and omegas typically couldn’t smell their own pheromone signatures, so dropping Eren’s gauze pad in the already used jar was unlikely to affect its scent.

With that task achieved, she walked over to the shifter’s bed and tore a strip of linen off the sheet, ignoring Erwin’s protest.  Of all the things the corps needed to procure, extra bedding was not one of them.  She deftly wound the strip of cloth around Eren’s neck, allowing Levi’s gauze pad to remain beneath it.  A makeshift suppressant.  Though Hanji was certain that Eren knew who the scent was from, he didn’t comment on it, didn’t ask how she had procured it or why.  He simply accepted it.

It amazed her how quickly he came to accept certain facets of his life.  She both admired and pitied that trait of his nature.  Her fingers ran through his sweaty hair before she dismissed herself, letting him know that she would send someone down to give him some food within the hour. He was too weak to forego eating.  Eren only offered a non-committal groan, repeatedly pressing the heel of his hand into the linen strip, forcing the gauze pad against his scent gland.

Erwin was already up and waiting for her by the dungeon steps, face stony, still calculating.  She said nothing until they were halfway up the staircase, voice low.

“He can’t stay here.  Blood rut…he’s not like the rest of us.”

“I know,” Erwin responded grimly.

“His body is already failing as it is.  I can only assume that his constant desire to fight will hasten the process.  And we both know that alphas in blood rut either go mad from the need to breed…”

“Or they die fighting everything that gets in their way.”

Hanji nodded as they continued to walk, eyes cast to the floor.

“His ability to shift puts another wrench in things.  Eren’s dangerous right now.  He doesn’t want to be, but he doesn’t have control over this.  The smell when I walked down there…I know you were trying to hold back, Erwin, but it was noticeable all the same.”

The commander snorted, a horribly undignified sound coming from him.

“The entire castle is in chaos.”

Hanji hummed in agreement, stopping to lean against a wall, contemplating.

“Neither one of them can stay here.”

“No.”

“Who were you going to send out?”

“Honestly?” Erwin began. “I wasn’t sure.”

The confession surprised the scientist.  It was exceedingly rare for the commander to let on that he was uncertain of anything, but the truth of the situation was written plainly on his face.

“Whatever is going on with Levi, for whatever reason, is affecting the entire balance of this base.  This isn’t like a normal omega in heat.  What he’s evoking in the ranks is…”

“Deadly.”

The blonde nodded once.

“And he doesn’t even know he’s doing it?”

“Not a damn clue.”

Erwin drew his hands down his face, sighing with exhaustion.  He smelled Levi everywhere, and it was distracting.  The scent of Eren clung to him, and it angered him.  The urge to fight, to bellow, crush, and dominate, was becoming too strong for even him to ignore, and they needed to act quickly before the entirety of the corps was decimated.

“Go back to the lab.  I need to check on Petra’s progress with my orders.”

“You won’t find her.”

“Eh?”

“I sent her with Oluo to break the entire corps up into groups of three.  One dynamic to each group.  They should be just about done clearing the castle by the smell of things.  I told her to arrange everybody at the parade grounds behind the castle.”

“But that will take all…day…” Erwin smiled, even as he trailed off.  “Eld and Gunther?”

“Readying a horse and cart.  They’ll need some help getting provisions loaded up, I’m sure.”

The commander nodded, and without another word the pair parted.

* * *

 “Let me out of here, Berner,” Levi growled dangerously. 

“H-Hanji said you have to s-stay here.  I c-can’t just…”

“I swear on the titan walls, Moblit, if you don’t let me out of here I will tear off your dick with my bare hands, fuck myself with it, and then _shove it down your throat_!”

Moblit whined, tugging at his shirt.  He was filled with conflict on so many levels.  The captain was emitting scents that didn’t make sense.  The smell of burning pine, a sure sign of an angry alpha, was interwoven with sweet honey, a signature of an aroused omega.  What was he supposed to do!?  He didn’t want his severed dick to end up in the captain’s ass!  And definitely not down his throat!

“Sir, I think you need…”

“I need you to let me out!” the raven roared, a sudden burst of energy allowing him to throw himself at the confused beta.  The beta in question let out a decidedly girly yelp, squealing in distress as he threw himself in front of the lab door.

_Goodbye, dear penis.  We had some good times._

“Mobi!”

Oh, thank the universe!

“Open the door!” Hanji called from the other side.

“Yes, _Mobi_.  Open the door,” the captain mocked.

“Uhhhhhhh…”

Levi had him frozen in place.  He was being held captive by nothing more than the frigid stare of the small alpha…omega?  Alphega? Omalpha?  He didn’t know what to call it, but he had moved beyond mere fright and was pretty sure he was going to piss himself.

“Hanji, I’m scared,” Moblit spoke in a rush, not daring to tear his gaze away from his charge.  The elder man was smaller than he was.  He was also currently weaker than Moblit, at least physically.  And he was naked as the day he was born.  The entire ordeal should have been hilarious in its absurdity, but Moblit couldn’t make his way past abject terror.

“Just open the door, Moblit.  It’s alright.  You have to trust me.”

Moblit opened the door.

Levi made a beeline for the exit, a vicious snarl twisting his lips.  Clothes be damned, he had to be…somewhere!  He didn’t know where, but he had to be there!  Hanji, however, stopped him dead with the smallest piece of gauze held between her fingertips.  His eyes dilated, his jaw went slack, and he couldn’t stop himself from snuffling at the fabric before taking Hanji’s wrist to guide it closer to his face, slowly rubbing it along his jaw.

Moblit was pretty sure the scientist’s eyes were vibrating in her head as she took in the captain’s reaction.  The excitement was almost tangible as she walked forward, the raven stumbling backwards while he tried to stay in contact with the material.

“Door, Mobi.”

The door was closed and locked once more and Moblit turned to find the captain spread out on the exam table again, hips undulating against nothing, low moans rumbling in his chest.  It lacked the desperation of his previous actions.  His movements were incredibly slow, hips rolling, back arching, face nuzzling into that small square.

“What did you do to him?” Moblit whispered.

“Gave him what he refuses to take for himself,” she spoke just as quietly.

“Now what do we do?”

“Give him a few minutes to settle.  He’s effectively high right now.   Trying to have a discussion with him would be pointless.”

The raven moaned again, shoving the gauze under his nose and inhaling deeply before laying it over a scent gland.

“Shouldn’t we give him some privacy?” Moblit grimaced, face so red Hanji was sure he’d pass out.

“No point.  He can’t be trusted alone right now, and it’s important to observe his behavior,” she answered, already scribbling on a notepad she’d picked up.  They were everywhere around the lab as it made taking notes easier.  Getting all those notes in the same place was the difficult part.

“J'ai besoin de toi, Eren…” Levi whined.  It was quiet, desperate, and it did not go unheard by the two sharing the room with him.

“Do you know what that means?” Moblit queried.

“Not a damn clue.  I know it’s French, but he rarely speaks it in front of others.  Usually happens when he’s exceptionally stressed, and that’s not terribly common either,” Hanji grinned as her pen scratched over the note paper.  The only word she recognized was “Eren”, and whether it was positive or negative was immaterial.  Levi was thinking about the shifter.

For the time being there was nothing for her to do but sit and take notes, and so she settled down in a chair and continued her observations. Moblit was dismissed from the lab, but his gratitude was short lived when he was given his next assignment.

“I can’t go in there!  He’ll kill me!”

“Hasn’t happened yet,” the brunette chuckled.

“But…!”

“It’s fine!  Just grab him some clothing.  The loosest, softest looking stuff you can find.  And his oils and soaps from his bathroom.  Shaving kit.  You know, the basic essentials!”

“You know how he values his privacy!”

“Mmm, I do.  I’m not asking you to snoop, Moblit, just pack some things for him.  The sooner we can get him away from the castle, the better.”

Moblit screwed his nose up in distaste, once more concerned for the survival of his genitals.  Alas, it was pack up the captain’s personal items for…wherever he was going, or risk watching him masturbate again.

Packing won.

“I better get a promotion out of this,” the assistant groused as he exited the lab.

Hanji only cackled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> J'ai besoin de toi, Eren… - I need you, Eren


	7. Exhale

Erwin smelled it before he heard it, and he heard it before he saw it.  He wished he could go back in time and erase all three things from filling his senses, but there was nothing in all the walls that would ever divest him of the image of Eld tied to Gunther.  He remained silent for several minutes, standing in the doorway of the stables, the pair of men oblivious to his presence.  The commander, stoic and secretive as he was, certainly had his…proclivities.  Voyeurism was definitely one of those. 

The scent of sex hung heavy in the air, the flex of Eld’s hips evident every now and again, a whimper being coaxed from the lips of his partner.  Erwin would suppress a shudder only to bring his hand to his steadily stiffening cock before he swallowed down a moan of his own, fingers clenching into his palm as he tried to maintain his control.  Levi’s scent was still heavy in his nostrils, and the actions of his squad members made it clear that nothing currently occurring within the castle walls was normal.

“Gentlemen,” Erwin rumbled, finally making himself known.

Eld growled noisily, maneuvering himself and his partner to face the intruder.  It was a rather impressive feat, considering he had to flip himself and Gunther over, in addition to turning around.  There was no real shame in his brown eyes, just anger, the instinct to protect.  He was draped over his omega, pulling him tighter into his chest, a thunderous vibrato resonating in his ribcage.  Gunther, for his part, dropped his eyes and turned his head, seeking the comfort of his alpha while trying to avoid angering the second presence.

“Remarkable,” Erwin intoned. 

Though Eld’s eyes didn’t glow as Eren’s had, and he could tell that he wasn’t as far gone as Eren had been, for him to be so brazen to growl at Erwin was not at all normal.  Eld wasn’t in rut and Gunther wasn’t in heat.  The commander’s nose told him that this was just a quick fuck in the stable.  And yet…this was not common behavior for the pair.  They were discreet, kept to themselves, didn’t like to risk being caught. 

Erwin maintained his distance, dropping into a squat as he had down in the dungeon, choosing to address the omega rather than the agitated alpha.

“I’m fairly certain, Gunther, that when I sent Petra to fetch you, you were to prepare a horse and wagon.  Is that the information you received?” he queried.

“It is, sir,” Gunther spoke through clenched teeth.

“Then why,” the blonde continued, “are you in my stables fucking in the straw?”

Gunther winced, Eld having rocked forward while the other men spoke.  He wasn’t feeling particularly threatened anymore, just possessive, and he felt the need to express it.  The omega below him did his best to continue.

“I...we…I don’t know, sir. We just—ah!—we had to!”

“The horse is hitched and ready, commander.  We did as we were told,” Eld mumbled, an embarrassed blush rising to his cheeks.  He seemed to be coming back to himself.

Erwin hummed and stood up, brushing imaginary dust from his pants.  He made no move to hide his arousal.  There was no point.  He knew they could smell it on him, and it really didn’t matter anyway.

“When you two have finished, I need you to load up the cart with a week’s worth of food and bed linens, Eld.  Gunther, ready two more horses and then go to your barracks and pack up for a day trip.”

“Are we going on an expedition, sir?” Eld frowned, finally easing himself away from his partner and grimacing at his oversensitivity.

“Something like that,” Erwin said, cryptic and curious.

* * *

 “You really need to stop doing that.”

“I fucking _can’t,_ you four eyed freak!”

“Levi, you’re giving yourself blisters!  Don’t make me tie you down!”

The raven stopped his furious masturbating, having taken it up again after the brief respite that strange piece of gauze had afforded him.  He was confused as to why it had affected him in such a manner, blissful as the experience had been.  Hanji was confused and concerned as to why the sedating effects hadn’t lasted as long on Levi as they did on Eren.  The solider who had brought him his meal had reported to her that even though he was slightly edgy, his general levels of agitation were much lower than they had been earlier in the day.  He was calm.  Impatient, as always, but he hadn’t wanted to attack his provider.

While she pondered reasons for the weak efficacy of Eren’s scent on Levi, the man in question began pacing the room, anxiety mounting as he tried to discern what it was he needed.  He didn’t know what he _needed_ and it was upsetting him.  It didn’t matter that he couldn’t figure it out once Hanji dropped a bombshell on him.

“Erwin’s sending you out of the castle.”

“Wha? Why?!”

“Because it’s pandemonium in HQ, Short Stack!  The alphas are going crazy over that scent you’re putting out!”

“Then I’ll teach those twat licking bastards some goddamn self-control!”

“Levi, these aren’t normal squabbles.  The entire castle is in an uproar.  Nobody can figure out what’s happening.  They all want to fuck, or fight, or fuck _while_ they fight!  I broke up four altercations on the way to the dungeon!”

“So?”

“So they were _mixed pairs_! It’s not just alphas and alphas or omegas and omegas going at it.  The dynamics are fighting with each other in ways they’re not meant to!”

“…What the shit?” Levi breathed as he fell to the floor, his back pressing to a cold wall.

“That’s not all,” the doctor said, voice grim. “Eren’s not just in rut.  He’s rapidly approaching blood rut.”

“Wha…that’s not real.”

“It is.  It’s rare, but it’s real.”

“He’s only been in for…it’s…he can’t…”

“He can and he is.  Erwin saw it himself.  That kid would have ripped him apart if he could have gotten out of that cell.  And we _both_ know he could have gotten out if he really, really wanted to.  He’s suppressing all of his instincts.”

“Why?” Levi frowned.  What he really meant was “how”, but he wouldn’t tell Hanji that. 

He understood, at least theoretically, that an alpha in blood rut was a dangerous beast.  Uninhibited, uncontrollable.  Blood thirsty.  The object was to fuck or die trying.  Of course the urge to mate was there when an alpha was in rut.  It felt unbearable during the cycle, but it was still manageable, controllable.  Unpleasant, but not impossible to live through.  Blood rut was an entirely different animal.  It was possible to go stark raving mad if the alpha couldn’t breed.  Well, possible wasn’t the right word.

It was a certainty.

“He doesn’t want to hurt anybody, Levi.  He’s trying to keep everybody safe, and it is literally killing him.  He’s a danger and he knows it.”

“He can’t stay here,” the raven said.  It was an obvious statement, one that didn’t need to be made, but he felt compelled to say it.

Hanji’s mouth was set in a grim line as she nodded in agreement, voice gentle as she dropped the next bit of news.

“Erwin is sending him out, too.”

“Where?  Where’s he supposed to go?  And who the fuck is going to watch that shitty brat?”

The doctor wanted to smile, she truly did.  But the situation was so fragile, and tenuous, and bizarre, she just didn’t have it in her.

“Erwin’s sending you both to the Shiganshina outpost, Levi.”

“Is he fucking _insane_?!  Did he finally shove his head so far up his own ass searching for an idea that he can’t pull it out!?”

“Levi…”

“No!  I’ll have to kill him!  And I’m not even sure I’m capable of that right now!”

“Erwin?”

“No, you dolt!  Eren!”

“Oh!  Can’t kill him?  Why not?” she said, hopeful that he’d admit his feelings for the boy.

“Look at me!  I can barely stand up!  I have fucking blisters on my dick from jacking it!  How the shit am I supposed to ram a sword through his neck like this!?”

The brunette’s face fell.  She knew without a doubt, deep down, that if Levi were ever forced to make the decision to kill Eren, he would do it.  That had never been a question in her mind.  It would likely destroy him, but he would do it.  While that saddened her, she did appreciate Levi’s dedication to duty.  What was more disturbing was the raven’s implication that he was currently unable to defend himself.  He was afraid.  Afraid of what Eren could do to him.  Afraid of his likely inability to stop it.  But he wouldn’t voice that fear.  Not overtly, anyway.  He sure as shit wasn’t going to admit he was in heat and there was evidence dripping down his damn thighs.

“You know he wouldn’t do that to you, Levi,” she whispered.  She wasn’t trying to soothe, or convince.  She was just stating a fact.  “He’s not capable of that.”

“Yes he is,” Levi spat back.  “We’re all capable of it.  And if he’s truly in blood rut, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself.”

“He’d die before he hurt you, Short Stack.”

“That’s because he’s a suicidal bastard.”

Hanji huffed a laugh but said nothing.

“When do we ride out?” the raven murmured, resigning himself to his fate. 

“Probably within the next hour or so.  Eren finally ate, you should do the same.  The castle has been cleared out and everybody is in the back 40 being sorted into groups.”

“What for?” he scowled.

“To keep them all busy so we can avoid carnage while you and Eren exit the grounds.  He wants to shift.  His hormones are in overdrive and he’s losing his clarity.  We don’t need to give him a reason to go rogue.”

The captain nodded, trying to shove down the fear pooling in his chest.  There was no choice, he knew.  He smelled the fury that lay heavy in the air.  He smelled the fear, the confusion, the random pockets of arousal.  Everything Hanji said was true, and Erwin was making the safest, sanest choice for everybody.

But that didn’t mean he had to like it.

“Trust him, Levi.  He trusts you.”

“He’s an idiot.”

“He is.”

“He’s a shitty brat.”

“He is.”

“Does he know he’s going to die?”

“We’re all going to die.”

“Hanji!”

The brunette scratched at the base of her messy ponytail and sighed.

“No.  He doesn’t know.  And I’m not going to tell him.”

“How ethical of you.”

“Since when have you been concerned about ethics?”

“Touché,” the captain snorted cruelly.

“I’m making the choice I’ll regret the least, Levi.”

Regret.  Indeed.


	8. Hike

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was away from home for four days, plus had company, so wasn't able to write :)
> 
> Here ya go!

“Why are we all out here?  This is ridiculous!” Jean growled, fingertips twitching as he searched the parade grounds for Connie and Sasha.  They seemed to be lagging behind, as usual.  Connie was probably trying to prevent his cohort from raiding the unattended larder.

“I don’t know,” Armin said softly, shrugging his shoulders.  “I just know Petra and Oluo said the entire castle was to be cleared and we were to wait here for further orders.”

“Where’s Eren?” Mikasa questioned flatly.  Of course he was the only one on her mind.

“I’m sure he’ll be along shortly, Mikasa, we just have to…”

“Alright!  All of you line up in your squadrons! Three rows, single file separated by dynamic!” Petra’s voice suddenly rang out over a makeshift bullhorn.  “Start pairing yourselves off, one of each dynamic per group!  If your numbers aren’t even alphas and betas are to line up behind me, omegas behind Oluo!  Get moving!”

 “What the hell…”

“Our squad leader’s not here!”

“Why are they doing this?”

“This is fucking stupid!”

Various comments of confusion and irritation rose from the crowd, but the soldiers, thankfully, did as they were told.  Things were obviously tense, but out in the open air the pheromones dissipated more easily.  Squad Leaders had to break up a tussle here and there, subdue some of the more amorous members, but all in all things were going alright.

As Petra passed by, Jean reached out to grab her arm, eyes glinting with annoyance.

“Where’s the captain?”

“Don’t worry about where he is and do as you’re told, Kirstein,” she responded coolly.

It was shocking, really.  Petra was mild mannered by nature.  Not simply because she was a beta, but because she saw no need for conflict.  The look she had just given the horse child was almost menacing, daring Jean to challenge her.  Armin couldn’t help but take notice.

“This is so strange.  The captain should be here.  Do you think this has anything to do with what happened last night?”

“Where’s Eren?” Mikasa asked again, voice growing edgy with concern.

“More people exist in the world than Eren, Mikasa!” Jean snapped at her.

“That’s true.  Armin’s important.”

“Hey!”

Mikasa turned to look at him, a blank glare on her face.  He didn’t know how she managed to look bored and furious at the same time, but it reminded him far too much of Captain Levi.  He was pretty sure they were related.  The distance of that relation was irrelevant to him, he just wanted her to quit staring at him like that.

Armin stepped between the two alphas, forcibly pushing each one away from the other.

“Stop! We can’t afford to fight right now!”

“Oh stuff it, you coconut!”

“Don’t talk to him like that!”

“Don’t talk to me like that!”

“All of you SHUT UP!” Petra bellowed.  She had made another appearance, and she was beyond fed up with Levi’s brats.  The task she’d been given was stressful enough without these idiots mucking it up further.

“Jean, you go with Armin and Sasha!  Mikasa, find Connie and Krista.”

“But…”

“GO!”

Armin and Jean obediently departed to join up with Sasha (wherever she was) and Mikasa begrudgingly separated to find her comrades.  She had no intention of staying within ranks for long, punishment be damned.  She would find Eren.  She would figure out what was going on.

She would have that damned midget’s head on a fucking platter.

* * *

“Did you hear me, Eren?”

The brunette was staring blankly ahead, eyes unfocused once more.  Only this time it wasn’t because he was losing his mind to the rut.  This time it was because he had been given the most important task of his life.  One more important to him than saving humanity. 

“Do you think it’s safe?”

_Do you think I’m safe?_

“Levi needs someone to watch over him right now.  To keep him safe from even himself.”

Green eyes bore into brown, a hand subconsciously raising to stroke at the fresh pheromone soaked bandage that was bound to his throat.  It calmed him immensely.  Long enough to have a real conversation with Hanji about what was going on.

“Who else…” he paused, licked his lips, continued. “Who else knows?”

“About the captain?  Just Erwin and Moblit.  But the castle is out of sorts because of him.  He’s not doing it on purpose.  He doesn’t know how to control what he’s doing.”

Eren frowned again.  None of this was making any sense at all.

“He’s an alpha.  How can he be…”

“It’s complicated, honey,” Hanji laughed, though there was no humor in it. “But he can’t stay here right now.  It’s dangerous for him, and it’s dangerous for you.”

“Does he know?”

“About?”

“The blood rut.”

Hanji shook her head and whispered a soft, “No.”  A blatant lie.

“Please, don’t…don’t tell him.  I don’t want him to think that I…I would ever…I mean I wouldn’t…I…” Eren stuttered, eyes welling up with tears.  He’d known almost immediately what he was experiencing, but when the rut took him, there was no way for him to reason.  To speak.  To communicate.  He was forced into a primitive state, nearly feral.  His mind was gone.

He didn’t want Levi to see him as an animal.  A pathetic dog who only needed to be put down.  But then, it was probably already too late for that.  He was already a monster.

* * *

 By late afternoon the wagon was loaded up with supplies to transport Eren and Levi to the outpost.  It was at least half a day’s ride, and they’d have to travel all night to reach it by morning in safety.  Gunther was to drive the wagon with Levi in back.  Though he had bouts of strength he was too weak to ride a horse.  He’d insisted he could do it, but after having to be helped onto his regular mount and then immediately toppling off the side of her, it was made patently clear that he had no option but to ride in the cart bed.

He was displeased.  Some hurtful things were said about Erwin’s mother.  The commander wasn’t really sure it was possible for someone to be shoved back up a vagina and then regurgitated, but Levi was certain he could have made it happen.

Levi’s horse was tied to the wagon to follow behind while Eren rode his own mount.  He was to ride ahead of Gunther, to keep his urges at bay, and it was understood that he could be dropped at any time if he lost control.  The brunette was not surprised or offended.  His death at the hands of a comrade had always been a possibility, and he had long since accepted that.

As they prepared to ride out, Hanji put two jars into Eren’s saddlebags, gesturing to the letters on top.  An “E” for Eren, and an “L” for Levi.

“These are for you and Levi.  They’re all the gauze pads I collected earlier.  If you feel the blood rut trying to take over, just replace your current pad.  They seem to act as a sort of sedative, as I’m sure you’ve noticed,” she grinned.  She did not tell him that Levi went through the pads considerably faster than he did.  “Give Levi his jar when you arrive.  He already knows how they work.”

“Does he…know that his are from me?”

“He hasn’t asked,” she stated simply, the truth this time.  “I’m sure that subconsciously he knows.  But he’s going through a lot right now, and I don’t think much matters to him beyond getting relief when he can.”

Eren nodded in response, but it didn’t mean much of anything.  He wasn’t sure if he was hurt by the captain being unable or unwilling to acknowledge where his comfort was coming from, but he was glad all the same that he was able to help him.

“Gunther will accompany you to the outpost.  He’ll be leaving shortly after you arrive, so it’s your job to do whatever you need to to keep both of you safe and sane.”

The shifter nodded again, adjusting himself in his saddle as his mount danced about, eager to get moving.

“Eren?” Hanji began, brow turning downwards as she contemplated her words.  A rarity.

“Yes, Squad Leader?”

“Take care of him.  You know he won’t show it and you know he won’t say it, but he’s scared.  He’s used to taking care of himself, and he can’t right now.  I’m trusting you to make sure he comes out of this ok, do you understand?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Eren sat up straight, offering the sincerest salute he could.  He’d always known he was willing to die for humanity.  For Mikasa and Armin.  But he had never realized how deep his loyalty for his captain ran until that moment.  He would decimate anybody who got in their way.

Anybody _._

* * *

The ride to the outpost was largely uneventful with Eren having to change his scent marked pad once, five hours into the ride.  Levi, however, had to change his three times, and the shifter grew concerned fairly quickly.  Levi’s jar was packed tightly with the gauze, and it wasnt like Eren couldn’t produce more, but the raven was borderline frantic when the effects wore off.  He bobbed and weaved in the cart, broke out in a feverish sweat, ground his teeth and grasped at his stomach while he retched.  It was driving Eren’s instincts wild, and Gunther had ended up ordering him to proceed ahead more than once to keep him in check.  He had maintained just enough control to follow the order.

_Protect, protect, protect!_

“Shut up!” he hissed to his inner voice.  “Just shut up!”

He hunched his shoulders and urged his horse a bit faster, willing down his desire to fight, claim, mark…or worse.  Gunther remained silent behind him and made no effort to urge his horse faster.  He only turned back to see his superior officer passed out, face screwed up in agony, even in unconsciousness.  He sure hoped the commander and Hanji knew what they were doing.  He had rarely questioned either of them before as the captain trusted them, and he did not lend his trust easily.  But this seemed dangerous, and the soldier’s concern sat heavy in his gut.  As it was, the captain’s scent was still having an effect on him, and he was an omega.  He couldn’t imagine how the alphas felt, reacting to the raven’s scent.  He couldn’t imagine how _Eren_ felt.

Everybody knew how Eren felt about Captain Levi.  The boy wore his heart on his sleeve, his feelings carved into every pore, every fiber of his very being.  He was not discreet.  His affections were not purposely made to be visible, they just _were_.  Eren was earnest and honest, headstrong and heartfelt.  He was a perfect foil to Levi’s stone-faced exterior.

There was a palpable feeling of relief when they arrived at the outpost just after dawn.  Gunther woke the captain and dutifully helped him out of the wagon bed without it looking like he was doing so, and then began unpacking supplies.  Eren tethered his horse to a tree before fetching Levi’s and doing the same and immediately heading inside to start cleaning.  He didn’t know what would greet him inside the building, but he understood without viewing it that it would be unacceptable to his captain.

Levi stumbled in after Eren, hastily heading for one of the bedrooms.  The outpost was small, meant only as a place to stock up on supplies when an expedition was held in the vicinity.  It was good to hold 4-6 soldiers, but no more, and that usually meant sharing a bunk.  Luckily, Gunther would be heading back after some food and a nap.  The territory was titan free and safe to travel in, and on the extreme off chance he did run into one, he had his 3DMG and was more than capable of fending for himself.

His nose wrinkled at the scent of dust and grime, but his breath caught in his throat when he found Eren in a room, bandana tied around his mouth, dusting contently.  The bed was already made up with fresh linens, the corners sharp and crisp, just as Levi had taught him (more like beaten into him, but Eren hadn’t complained).  A surge of affection crawled its way up his throat and he felt a blush heating his cheeks.

He blamed it on his current condition.

“Oh!  Captain, sir!  I’m sorry, I…I’ll get out of your way.  I wanted to ready your room for you and I…”

“Shut up and get out,” the raven growled.  He didn’t actually feel cross, nor did he entirely understand his own tone.

“Sir!” Eren saluted obediently, no hint of hurt or concern on his face.  He exited the room without protest, mind set on cleaning the rest of the outpost top to bottom before making some food after Gunther left.

“Shitty brat,” Levi murmured, collapsing on the bed, eyes fluttering closed.

He didn’t even take off his boots.


	9. Shatter

When Levi awoke it was to the setting sun, twilight having painted the sky in muted blue and purple, soft streaks of golden orange punctuating the end of another day.  How had he managed to sleep so long?  Gunther was most assuredly gone by now, but he could hear clanking and thumping coming from the kitchen area.  Eren may have been in human form at the moment, but he always walked about like he was a titan.

Heathen.

He made his way out into the dining area, teetering and weaving before he groaned at the rumble his stomach gave.  Eren’s back was to him, but he saw the kid’s head tilt as he entered the room.  He gestured silently at the nearby table where some sort of porridge waited for him, along with some boiled potatoes and carrots.

“I apologize if it’s not still hot, sir.  I wasn’t sure when you’d wake, but I wanted to have something ready for you.”

This kid…who was he, even?  Where did he come from?  Levi wasn’t even sure what to say, even though it shouldn’t have been so difficult to find words as simple as “Thank you.”  He merely picked up his spoon and started eating.  If he were honest, the porridge tasted of nothing, the potatoes were bland, and the carrots were undercooked.  But somehow he didn’t care.  His belly was full, hunger sated for the time being, and his heart felt...well, he wasn’t sure.  He wasn’t sure he liked it, whatever it was, but there was a warmth that simmered in his chest that wasn’t wholly unpleasant.

He watched Eren, then.  He took in the tight set of his shoulders, the bow of his head, his stiff movements as he traversed the room.  It was clear the boy was uncomfortable around him, though he was sure that by now they’d developed enough of a rapport that he could unclench his anus.

“Oi!  What’s your problem, brat?”

“Nothing sir, I’m fine,” Eren replied without turning to face him.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you.”

The brunette went rigid, fingers clenching tightly around the handle of the spatula he was washing.  He made no move to turn around, only tried to make himself smaller.

“Look at me, Jaeger!”

Eren complied then, unable to stop himself.  That was the command of an alpha.  One stronger than him, one that knew more, one that was _better_ than he was.  His green gaze met cold steel and he averted his eyes as quickly as he’d lifted them. 

“Have you slept?” Levi queried.  He had planned on ribbing the kid, but the droop in his eyes and sudden sag in his body changed his mind.

“No, sir.  I wanted to be sure things were clean for you, sir.”

It wasn’t entirely a lie.  Eren had wanted to be sure that things were up to Levi’s standards, but the truth was that he _couldn’t_ sleep.  Not with Levi smelling as he did.  He was consumed by thoughts of him, of the things he could do to him.  He’d masturbated a couple of times, but that only increased his desire, and since he was falling into blood rut that was not something he could afford.

“Go sleep,” the captain commanded.

“But, the dishes…”

“That’s an order, Jaeger!  Don’t know what use you’ll be to humanity if you die from sleep deprivation.”

“Yes, sir,” the brunette said, dejected.

Levi said nothing more, just watched as Eren trudged to his room, leaving the dishes for Levi to complete.

* * *

Eren lay quietly on his bed, desperately trying to ignore the hard-on that burned between his legs.  He’d never been so aware of an erection before.  He’d already divested himself of his clothing, trying to rid himself of the irritation the fabric provided, but the breeze that came from his open window only made him more aware of his problem.  He could _feel_ how blown out his pupils were, could smell Levi in the next room and had to wipe the drool from his chin as it made him salivate.

_He wants you.  Take him._

“Never.”

_He’s calling for you.  Calling, calling, calling for you._

“He’s not.”

But Eren scented the air all the same, seeking that smell.  Cardamom and anise.  And beneath it, subtle though it was, the captain’s outdoorsy scent of pine had returned.  That only made Eren want him all the more, and he turned over to shove his head under his pillow and grind into his mattress.

* * *

While Eren presumably jacked off in his room (the scent that kid was giving off made it clear that sleep was an unlikely outcome) Levi set to cleaning up the dishes.  The brat was wound tighter than a top, and Levi wasn’t sure his separation from the rest of the Corps was ideal, if for no other reason than if the boy went rogue he wasn’t sure he could down him himself.

Levi never questioned his abilities.  He was good at what he did.  The best.  He was bestowed with the title of Humanity’s Strongest for a reason, and his dislike of the moniker didn’t make it less relevant.  But all the same, in his weakened state it was unlikely that he could subdue the kid on his own, and that was disconcerting.  He bowed his head then, hands curled against the edge of the sink, a sharp exhale escaping him.

He breathed in and then out once more, taking notice when the water in the sink rippled.  His immediate notion was to go check for an approaching titan, but that was beyond unlikely where they were stationed.  The ground wasn’t rumbling either.  And so Levi just kept staring into the sink, the gentle shudder of the water confusing him.

Crying.  He was crying.  When had he last cried?  It had to have been years.  Why now?

He didn’t have much time to contemplate the strangeness of his crying, a sudden wave of nausea hitting him.  He groaned noisily, collapsing on the floor and retching.  He lost everything that Eren had offered him. 

_Lost what alpha had provided._

Disgusting.  He was disgusting.

Levi curled up in a ball, unable to move away from the masticated food.  He chose to ignore it, shivering violently while he whimpered, trying to shove all of his emotions back down.  Down into the dark depths of what little soul he had left.  Why was this happening to him?  _What_ was happening to him?  Was he dying?

“Arrête ça!  Arrête ça, je n'en peux plus! Ça fait mal…” Levi wailed.  He was losing his mind from the pain.  Processing any feeling beyond it was impossible and he wanted to tear out his own stomach, his heart.  Anything to just make it _stop_!

The gauze pads Hanji had provided were on a table in his bedroom.  Eren had been sure to leave them for him, probably while he had been passed out.  He hadn’t noticed them when he first arrived, but then, his only priority at the time had been to sleep.  And now…now they were so far away.  He thought he’d have more time before needing another one, but it vaguely registered in his mind that such a notion was foolish.  He’d had to change them every hour or two on the ride out.  But he’d felt fine when he woke.  In control.

Fucking idiot.

* * *

_“Arrête ça!  Arrête ça, je n'en peux plus! Ça fait mal…”_

Eren sat bolt upright in his bed.  That was the captain yelling.  No…not yelling.  Screaming.  The captain didn’t scream.  Not ever.

He rushed to pull on his pants, not bothering with the rest of his clothing.  A desperate shiver coursed over his skin, raising goosebumps in its wake, and he could feel the rut taking hold as he scented distress in the air.  He swallowed it down and proceeded into the kitchen, taking in the sight of his captain crumpled on the floor next to a pile of vomit. He snorted viciously, trying to maintain control of himself, but he knew it was slipping.

Levi stared up at him, eyes glassy and empty, mouthing words that Eren didn’t understand.  He felt great conflict, as there was an alpha on the floor willing him to stay away.  The odor was furious, burning and acrid.  But the scent that overlaid it was that of an omega, begging for relief.

_Home.  Safety.  Keep him safe._

The rut won out, the last vestiges of his present sanity falling away to something feral and unfamiliar.  Eren dropped to his knees, still towering over his captain, and slowly he lowered himself down to snuffle at a scent gland that dripped and pulsed.  He licked at it and Levi shuddered.  Licked again and caught the hand that had come up to try and clock him in the nose.

Green eyes flared bright and hot, but there was no anger.  There was lust, certainly, perhaps a bit of amusement.  Most of all, there was concern.  His body was not his own for the time being and Levi was still yelling in a language he didn’t understand, but it didn’t matter.  The young alpha scooped up the prone male in his arms, the elder fighting him all the while, weak as it was.  One hand held Levi securely about his waist, Eren pulling him into his lap, while the other moved to his nape to gingerly pinch the flesh there.

Levi sagged immediately.  He appeared almost comatose, though there was still a flicker of fight left in him.  It was amazing how much those eyes could convey, even when they seemed flat and lifeless.  Eren’s inner alpha crowed from somewhere deep inside himself, knowing that this was who he wanted.  The only one he wanted.  But he would not take.  He would earn.

For now, the alpha’s goal was to soothe his omega, and he scooted back against the cupboards on the floor to help hold the both of them up.  He mouthed at Levi’s scent gland one more time before tipping his head back and pressing their throats together.  When the raven moaned, loud and low, relief flooding his scent, Eren responded in kind with a deep croon and released his neck to slide careful fingers into his undercut.

Levi moved then, though he didn’t shove himself away.  He curled his own fingers against Eren’s bare chest, pressed himself closer, and whispered, “Ça fait mal…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Arrête ça! Arrête ça, je n'en peux plus! Ça fait mal…- Make it stop. Make it stop, I can't take it anymore. It hurts...  
> Ça fait mal… - It hurts.


	10. Waves

Levi coasted on a blissful current of contentment for what seemed like hours.  The edges of his consciousness were fuzzy, but not unpleasantly so.  Rather, he felt sated in a way he never had before, enveloped in the scent of sunshine and rain and grass.  The body he pressed so fervently against was warm and eased the chill caused by his fever, gentle hands in his hair lulling him further into a peaceful abyss.

The raven finally gathered enough strength to lean away from the warmth of Eren’s chest.  When he raised his head so mercury could meet moss, he found that the brunette’s eyes no longer glowed.  Eren was in control of himself again and he seemed strangely caught between wanting to tug Levi back against him and shoving him away.  He wanted to please the omega and appease the alpha. 

The captain only tilted his head, studying the boy carefully, considering, calculating…wondering.  He looked down at himself, noting that while his goddamned erection was _still_ present (and fucking painful as shit), his pants still remained.  And his shirt.  Even his cravat still rested neatly around his throat, save where Eren had pulled it down to press their necks together.

“You didn’t…” Levi began.

“No, sir,” Eren responded.  There wasn’t even a hint of offense in his voice, though he understood the implication.  His face remained impassive, devoid of emotion.  A disconcerting sight.

“Why?”

Eren inhaled sharply then, racking his brain for an answer.  He hadn’t been in control when he had scent marked Levi.  Hadn’t felt like he was in control, anyhow.  All he could offer was the most honest response he had.  The one that made the most sense to him.

“I’m not here to take what I want.  I’m here to give you what you need.”

Levi had nothing to say to that.  He wanted to look bored, impartial, but he felt his face screwing up into something unfamiliar.  It certainly wasn’t a smile.  He knew how to do that, even if he didn’t do it often.  It was some combination of confusion and anger, and he didn’t like it.

“Bullshit,” he spat before he could stop himself.

Eren didn’t respond to the venom in the raven’s voice.  He only blinked at him before pressing his palms to the floor and leaning back, quietly giving Levi space (even though the captain still remained in his lap).

“If you want to fight, we can fight.  If you want to fuck, we can fuck.  If I lose control…” the shifter paused, turned his gaze downward, ashamed. “If I lose control, kill me.  I won’t do that to you.  I would…I wouldn’t ever…I couldn’t…”

“Shut up.”

There was an audible click as Eren closed his mouth, teeth clacking together.  He searched Levi’s face, hoping to find some answers for himself.  But even with the captain being more forthcoming than he had ever been before, there was nothing there that offered the shifter any solace.

“You’re an idiot,” Levi said easily, removing himself from his perch in Eren’s lap. “I’m going to take a bath.  Make some tea.”

“Yes, sir,” Eren responded gently.  The shifter couldn’t hold back his brilliant smile, even though he felt bereft at the raven’s departure.  He was an idiot, but he was an idiot who got to make his captain tea.

* * *

“Mikasa, this is insane!” Jean hissed.

“It’s not,” she replied flatly, securing her harness straps over her chest.

“You’ll get caught!” Armin that time.

“I won’t,” she said, no hint of worry evident in her tone.

“You don’t even know where they went!  How will you find them?” Jean grumbled, crossing his arms.

“They’re at the Shiganshina outpost.  Don’t you ever listen to what goes on around you?” Mikasa queried as she tilted her head.  It was obvious that she found him stupid.

“They’ll throw you in the damn stockade!”

He knew it was a lie when he said it.

“If you won’t listen to reason, then we’re going with you,” Armin nodded firmly. 

“Alright.”

“Wait, what?”

“I don’t care who stays or who goes.  I only care about bringing Eren back,” she glared at the pair of them, cinching her thigh belts. “So hurry up and strap up, because I’m leaving in ten.”

* * *

Levi sat in his bath, languidly dragging his fingers to and fro over the water.  He watched the ripples spread outward, sighed as they hit a patch of jasmine oil that released its fragrance, and then sank beneath the surface.  When he emerged he allowed himself a steadying breath, slicking his hair back from his eyes before scrubbing at it.  He had been clean long ago, was actually on his second fill of the tub, but he still felt dirty.

His backside still pulsed and he knew that when he left the tub slick would coat his thighs again.  He hated the sensation.  Hated how squishy and sticky he felt.  Hated the filth.  And he still didn’t understand, would probably never understand why this was happening to him.

_“I think there’s someone you need…”_

“What a load of titan vomit,” the raven groused, recalling Hanji’s words.  “There’s no one.  I don’t _need_ anybody.”

A knock on the door tore his attention away from his broody thoughts.

“Captain?  Your tea is ready.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute,” he called out, moving to stand.  Instead he slipped and fell back into the basin with a loud splash, spluttering and coughing when he resurfaced.  He heard the door open before he could stop Eren, and was met with cacophonous laughter.

He fixed the brunette with the coldest, most murderous stare he could muster, but it had no effect.  Eren guffawed and snorted as he pointed at his superior’s sorry state, sopping wet and hair a mess.  A bar of soap to his noggin stopped the laughing just long enough for him to witness the raven sinking below the water until only his eyes remained visible.  The shifter took a moment to take in the new development, acknowledging the absurdity and doubling over once more as he exited the room, tears streaming down his face.

It took Levi a few minutes to soothe his wounded pride, and a few minutes more than that to find clothes that he didn’t find profoundly harsh against sensitive skin.  When he shuffled out into the kitchen it was still with purpose, his carriage a clear sign that Eren shouldn’t fuck with him.

“I kept it warm for you, sir.”

“Did you over steep it?”

“No, sir,” Eren chuckled quietly.  “I know better.”

Levi wrinkled his nose when Eren addressed him.  His hands wrapped around the small mug taking in its warmth, and he frowned, mostly to himself.  He didn’t like being “sir.”  Not here, away from everyone.  It was proper, of course.  Eren was following protocol.

But he hated it.

“Eren?”

“Yes, Captain?”

Levi winced at his title, sneering into his tea as he took a sip.

“Don’t call me that here.”

“Sir?”

“There’s nobody else here.  Nobody to stand on ceremony for.”

“Yes, si—Levi.  Whatever you like.”

_I’ll do whatever you like._

Levi huffed through a smile then, raising an arm to rub at the back of his neck.  His oversized shirt slipped down his shoulder when he put his hand back down and he lifted his gaze to find Eren staring at his throat, red faced and growling.

“Brat?”

“Who did that to you,” the shifter demanded, lips drawing into a tight line.

“What are you talking about?”

“Your neck, it’s all bruised.  Who did that to you?”

“I don’t know what you’re—oh!”

It dawned on him then, as Eren rushed over to sniff at the bruise, though there would be no detectable scent there.  The mark was from Erwin, but he didn’t think it was wise to let Eren know that.  His eyes were already flickering like torchlight, soft embers back-lighting his irises.  He didn’t need to be lost to the rage of his rut.

“It’s nothing, brat.”

The response he received was a low rumble.  Levi didn’t know what to do, he’d never faced this sort of thing before.  He’d been beaten in his life, and raped.  He’d experienced forced highs and atrocities that no child ever should.  But this?  He had no experience with this.  So he did the only thing he could think of.  He reached up to cup Eren’s cheeks and pulled him down until their throats pressed together.

“It’s _nothing_ , Eren.  It’s ok. Trust me.”

_Trust me.  That’s all you want in return, isn’t it?_

Eren exhaled in a heavy sigh, fervently rubbing his neck over Levi’s jaw, across his cheeks, anywhere he could reach.  And the raven simply allowed it, eyes closing and head lolling back.  A moan slipped from his lips, unbidden, and he felt himself blush.  He didn’t care.  His fingers wove themselves into messy chocolate strands, tugging insistently, though he wasn’t sure what he was asking for.

“Levi,” Eren warbled, drawing out the syllables of his name.

Having the shifter close was having a profound effect on him.  He was most certainly aroused, but he’d been that way for the better part of seventy-two hours.  This was different.  He felt brazen in a way he hadn’t before, teasing and childish.  Safe and cherished.  They weren’t even doing anything.  What was a little scent marking between two distressed dynamics?  It was relief.  But this…

The raven pushed the boy away, just far enough for them to be able to look at each other.  Eren’s eyes were still bright, but they no longer glowed with an unnamed fire.  They were warm, placid pools.  Levi could swim in those eyes, get lost in the stars that glittered in them.

“Do you know what I want right now, Eren?” he purred.

Eren shook his head, afraid his voice would crack if he tried to answer verbally.

“I want to fight.”

A strangled noise escaped the boy, an amalgamation of confusion and disappointment.  He wanted to fight?  _Now_!?  Cruel.  Levi was cruel.  But he was also striking in his intelligence, alluring in his stealth, beautiful in his viciousness, grace personified in the way he moved.

 _Be mine_.

“You said you were here to give me what I needed, eh?  Right now I need to fight.”

Levi pushed himself away from the table without another word, crossing the kitchen to open the door and be swallowed up by the night.

“Time to go hunting, Eren,” the raven called from the dark.

The voice echoed all around the shifter, surrounding him with _Levi_.  It stirred something primal in him and he liked it.  He’d always enjoyed the thrill of the chase.  The search, the stalk, the capture...the kill.  Only this time, when he caught his prey, the outcome would be far more favorable for his captive.

Or so he hoped.


	11. Scream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't entirely what I had planned, but holy shit am I in love with this chapter.

Levi perched on the outpost roof, watching with amusement as Eren barreled outside, searching for him.  Swinging himself onto the rooftop had been literal child’s play.  Growing up in the Underground he had quickly learned that “up” was the safest place to be.  He was small, agile, and wily, and even before he had acquired the 3DMG he was at home off the ground and in the air.

The air was still, no wind currents blowing to alert Eren to his presence.  Of course if he remained stationary long enough the boy would notice, if by no other reason than happenstance.  But Levi still took the time to monitor, to assess the shifter’s ability to track and find.  He watched the brunette raise his face and check the air, seeking, testing.  He watched him shake his head roughly, noting the brief flicker of glowing green.

_Keep it together, kid._

The raven tore his gaze from Eren long enough to look upwards.  A branch hung just above him, and there was a small copse of trees surrounding the building.  They were close enough to each other that he could easily move between them.  Whether or not he’d purposely let the shifter notice him there was still undecided.  He was warring within himself, feeling a delicious thrill at the thought of being caught.  No.  Not of being caught.  Of being caught by _Eren._

Why? 

_“I think there’s someone you need…”_

“Why the brat?” he murmured to himself.

Eren turned then, eyebrows raising into his hairline as he caught sight of the captain.  A devious grin curled the corners of his lips and Levi felt a sharp chill course through his veins.  The choice of his discovery was out of his hands.  He was _prey_ now and he didn’t waste any time leaping up to grab the tree branch, hauling himself onto it and disappearing into the foliage.  He ran along it just far enough that Eren couldn’t catch him immediately, peering between the leaves to see what the boy would do.  Where Levi was graceful and stealthy, Eren was clumsy and awkward.

Eren was also remarkably resourceful.

The brunette was tall, but he was also heavy, and popping up onto the roof wasn’t as easy for him as it was for Levi.  So he didn’t try.  He looked around for a moment or two and then opted to back up a few paces before hurtling himself at the building, which the raven found a bit odd.  He heard a dull thump followed by a puff of breath, a grunt, and then felt the limb of his tree shaking.  A quick glance downward showed how the shifter had made it up.  An overturned rain barrel made for a nice stepping stool given enough momentum to use it to hop up and over the roof’s edge.

It was Levi’s turn to grin, even as he dashed off along thick branches, making a leap for the next tree.

_Earn me._

* * *

 The air was so still when Eren exited the outpost, dry, and there was no wind for him to catch Levi’s scent.  He felt the rut taking hold of him again and shook his head violently to free himself of it.  And then he heard it.  The barest whisper of that deceptively low voice.

_I see you._

Levi disappeared into the treetop, but the shifter was fast on his heels.  The overturned rain barrel was a more than suitable vault for him, and once on the roof there were no more obstacles.  Not really.

The chase was on.

He traversed the branches with relative ease, wobbling a time or two as they shivered beneath his weight.  He wasn’t as coordinated or as graceful as Levi.  He certainly wasn’t nearly as smart.  But he was stubborn, and dedicated, and he was going to _win._   The captain had declared he wanted to fight, and though they weren’t trading blows at the moment, Eren knew it was coming.  Levi never said anything he didn’t mean.

Eren was being tested.

Levi was far ahead of the brunette now and Eren realized the futility of chasing him.  What he was doing was brutish and unrefined, neither of which had ever impressed Levi.  Certainly, he had _appreciated_ those traits a time or two when such actions had saved comrades, but impressed?  Not by a long shot.  The praise Eren had received for his brashness on those occasions had still been insult laden with a “Could have been worse” sentiment attached.

The shifter slowed himself then, realizing that crashing through the foliage wasn’t serving any purpose but to further frustrate him.  Frustration, he had found, fueled the blood rut and made him that much more likely to lose control.  He was going to have to think his way through this.  A slight pang twisted in his chest, momentarily concerned that he wasn’t up to the task of earning the captain’s favor, but he tamped it down quickly enough.  Fussing over it wouldn’t help him.

A brief moment of consideration had him reaching up to snatch loose twigs and pieces of bark from nearby branches.  Pieces heavy enough to throw.  And then he continued onward, following the scent trail that Levi had unwittingly left behind.  The leaves the raven had passed through were absolutely saturated with oil from his scent gland.  Eren’s eyes flickered again, casting a green glow before him, nostrils flaring to take in more information from what had been left behind.

Arousal.  Excitement. _Delicious_.

“I’m coming for you, Captain.”

* * *

“Mikasa, slow down!  You’re using too much gas!” Armin called over the whip of the wind. “He’s not dead!  Would you calm down!”

They’d already been traveling for hours, largely on foot due to all the open space.  Forest had only recently appeared and Mikasa had insisted that they use their 3DMG as a means to cover ground faster.  Their horses hadn’t been an option, taking too much time to tack up and they would have been too noticeable as they snuck out of HQ.

Mikasa didn’t respond to Armin, just forged ahead.  The blondes that trailed her gave each other brief glances of concern, though it was hard to see each other with only moonlight guiding their path.  Neither understood what was so dire about the situation but when it came to Mikasa and her concern for Eren, very little made sense.

The young woman continued to propel herself forward, head suddenly raising to take in noise just ahead of her.  The next shot of her grappling hooks forced her into a hard left turn, sending her careening towards a shadow that hid in the trees.  Though she was also known to be a master of stealth, she’d already identified the shadow as Levi, and she was not at all subtle at making her presence known.  She went at him screeching a battle cry, and he turned just in time to take in her face as she crashed into him, toppling them both from the trees.

Their descent was not quiet, a mad cacophony of hissing and shrieking, clawing at each other even as they slammed into the dirt.  Their fighting was wild and feral, Mikasa snapping and swiping, Levi ducking and punching.  They were oblivious to the others approaching them.  Deaf to Armin and Jean’s shouts for them to stop…until they heard an inhuman rumble, the air crackling with tension, saturated with pheromones that promised death.  Pure, unadulterated rage.

Eren stood before them, eyes alight with an unbridled fury.  His teeth glinted sharp in the moonlight and a snarl rose from the pit of his gut to coil viciously in his throat.  Mikasa’s eyes looked upon him only briefly before flicking to the captain.  She now looked for direction from a man she had viciously attacked.  He gave her the guidance she sought, not for her sake…but Eren’s.

“Run,” he exhaled, eyes never leaving the quaking shifter.

Mikasa ran.

* * *

A roar burst forth from the shifter, a noise so loud and unholy it should have been impossible in his human form.  Levi covered his ears to shield himself from the force of it, beat back the unrepentant fear that rose in him.  It had been so long since he had felt true, bone deep, gut wrenching terror.  But he felt it now, staring not at Eren, but a volatile beast with luminescent eyes and a goal of destruction.

Levi struggled to his feet, but Eren was already on the move.  He howled, diving for Mikasa, but all he grabbed was air.  She activated her 3DMG, resting in the safety of the branches.  Jean and Armin were still on the ground, swords drawn, though they were obviously on the defensive.  Eren was striking at them with everything he had, grabbing for their weapons, ignoring the wounds the blades gouged in his flesh.

“Eren!” Armin cried out.  “Eren, stop!  It’s _us_!  Stop!”

“Cut it out, ya damn suicidal bastard!  What are you doing!?” Jean screamed at him.

Levi could only stumble, another wave of feverish nausea having hit him.

_He’s protecting you._

“He’ll kill them.”

_Alpha is keeping you safe.  Safe from intruders._

“They’re…his friends…” Levi gasped.

Mikasa could only watch from above long enough to catch her breath.  It became clear to her almost immediately that Eren had put himself between Levi and the perceived threat.  He was protecting his captain.  But why?  Levi was more than capable of defending himself.  Mikasa’s questions stopped mattering when Eren broke through Jean and Armin’s defenses.  A fist connected with Jean’s face, and had the situation not been so dire, Mikasa would have laughed.  But as it was, Eren was battering him into the ground.

The ravenette wasted no more time.  She dropped back to the ground, directly behind Levi, a sharp whistle piercing the air during her descent.  Bright eyes fell on her just as she landed behind Levi, arms wrapping around his torso before she shot back skyward.

Eren screeched, bolting towards the pair of them.  Yet again, he was too slow.

_Failure!  Failure, alpha!  You lost your omega!_

“What are you doing, you dumb bitch!?” Levi shoved at Mikasa as he yelled.  It was weak, but the intent was there.

“Saving my friends!” she shouted back.

“Oh yeah?!  Well who’s gonna save _you_ when he gets up here!?”

“I hadn’t thought that far ahead, ok!?”

“Well no fucking shit!  Did you think at ALL!?  What are you fuckstains even doing here!?”

“Saving Eren!”

Levi stopped his ranting then, face going entirely blank as he stared in disbelief at the idiot before him.  Mikasa was stoic, played things close to the vest just as he did, but when it came to Eren she was impulsive.  She didn’t think, she only acted.  And of all things to get her killed, it could be her brother’s hands she died at.

“You’re insane,” he said, voice plain, devoid of emotion.  “You’re both fucking insane and I cannot believe you’re not blood related.  By the three walls, you’re _fucking insane_!”

The tree shook as Eren slammed into it, attempting to climb it.  All reason had left him.  He was as mindless as a titan in this state, and Levi’s heart clenched at that thought.

“Mikasa!” Armin called from nearby.  He and Jean had made it to safety, though both were dirty and bruised.

“Armin!  Are you guys ok?”

“That giant shart-blast broke my nose! No, I’m not ok!” Jean.  A very angry Jean.

The tree shook again and the ebony haired duo fell on their asses, holding tight to the branch.

“Christ!  He’s gonna fucking kill _me_ at this rate!  GOOD JOB!”

“How is this _my_ fault?!”

“Oh my fucking GOD, Mikasa, are you kidding us with this shit?!” Jean was bouncing up and down on his tree limb.  She could barely make him out in the shadows.  “How is this NOT your fault?!  We told you he was fine!  He’s out here with the captain!  How much more _fine_ could he POSSIBLY BE!?”

“Jean has a point!” Armin added.

“I swear to fuck I will ream the asses of you trio of shitgibbons when I get back to headquarters, but right now you need to go!”

Levi hunched over again, swallowing down bile as it threatened to escape his throat.  He was distressed and Eren knew it.  Or at least, his instincts knew it.  And the longer Levi remained treed, the worse things would get.

“I can’t leave him here!”

“You have to!  He’s in a goddamn blood rut!  Mikasa, he will _kill you_!  Look at him!  _LOOK_!”

Blood rut. No.  That wasn’t real.  It wasn’t…real.

Eren looked skyward and bellowed again, attempting to scale the tree with his bare hands.  With nothing but brute strength.  The inhuman glow of his eyes, the feral bloodlust that resided there…Levi spoke the truth.

Mikasa’s heart broke, the shattered shards piercing the very depths of her soul.

“They sent him here to die…” Mikasa whispered.  “They sent him out here to _die_!”

A sharp crack resounded in the air, even over the shifter’s desperate snarling.  

Levi had slapped her, and the mark of his hand rose red and hot on her cheek.

“You’re foolish.  And you’re selfish.  If you think I would let him die out here after everything that he’s…after all that I…” he screwed up his face, sneering at her.  “I’m going to buy you as much time as I can, but if he pursues you…I’m not strong enough to stop him.  Not now.  Get out of here, and don’t you dare look back.  I don't care what you hear, don't look back.”

Steel and mercury locked on each other, but there was no fight left in Mikasa.  There was only a plea there.  The silent, desperate request that Levi help her brother.  She would bear whatever punishment he saw fit, right up to removing her own damn eyes, as long as Levi would just…

“Save him.”


	12. Crumble

Levi turned away at Mikasa’s request.  He preferred not to think of the connotations of her words.  He wasn’t sure if she realized the implications either.  He couldn’t afford to dwell on the issue at the moment anyway.  Not with Eren pacing below, intent on capturing the intruders.

The leaves rustled, a sudden, gentle wind blowing through the foliage.  It was refreshing and soothing, a needed sensation to ease the tension.  That was until…

“Jean...?” Armin’s voice.

“Omega.”

Both Levi and Mikasa turned to face his branch.  Neither could see him, only his shadowed presence against the tree trunk.  Armin seemed to have him by the arm and was chattering at him, but the taller boy was already moving.

“Omega!” he growled again, low and possessive.

“Oh…” Mikasa’s eyes widened.

“Shit!” Levi followed up.

Jean dove for the branch Levi rested on, but like Eren had been earlier, he was too slow.  Levi was already climbing higher through the tangle of limbs.  His instincts were fighting once again.  The alpha in him wanted to turn and fight, disembowel the young upstart.  But the budding omega was demanding he flee.

He fled. 

He told himself it was to keep things from getting any worse. 

As Levi climbed he felt the cramps in his stomach worsen and his thighs were slippery with slick.  It was absolutely disgusting.  He tried his damnedest to ignore all of it.  The pain, the wetness, but the next cramp was too much for him and he was forced to halt his ascent.  It gave Jean just enough time to reach up and seize his ankle, yanking him down to the branches below.

Levi yelped at the impact, but the moment he recovered he lashed out.  He yipped and snarled, punched, grabbed and bit.  He tasted blood in his mouth, heard other voices shouting, and then the pressure above him was gone.  The dull sound of the impact of flesh and bone met his ears and he looked down to see Jean illuminated in the moonlight, bloodied and barely standing as Eren advanced on him.

Eren was going to kill him.

“Mikasa!”

She was already moving, a snarl of her own bursting from her lungs as she slammed into the mindless alpha.  She caught the side of his jaw with her fist and he backhanded her in return, sending her flying into nearby bushes.  But the ravenette only righted herself and came back twice as hard, sweeping out his feet and moving to tackle him again.

“Eren!” Levi called as he began descending from the trees.  “Eren, stop!”

Armin was tending to Jean, having propped him up against a tree trunk while Mikasa fought.  He intermittently called out to both alphas to stop while scolding the two toned idiot who was barely maintaining consciousness.  Neither of them even noticed Levi.

The captain felt himself getting weaker, but he found one last bit of strength to rush forward and put himself between Mikasa and Eren as they charged towards each other again.  The brunette barreled into Levi, tucking him into his chest and turning his back to the other alpha, making himself vulnerable in order to protect his omega, but no blow came.

Eren’s head turned, a menacing eye glowing green with rage falling on his adversaries.  He made no move towards them, just clutched Levi tighter.  It was then that the captain registered the trembling of his charge, noticed the faint bitterness in his scent.  He wasn’t just angry…Eren was afraid.

“Mikasa, listen carefully.”

She nodded.

“Our horses are in the stable out back.  Take them both.  Don’t turn your back.  Don’t run.  Just walk. Away.”

“He wants to kill me,” the soldier spoke weakly, voice heavy with emotion.

“I know.  And that’s why you need to leave.  _Please_. For Eren’s sake, _go._ ”

Once more she nodded, her head tipped back, eyes flicking to the side to signal submission.  Eren’s lip curled in another snarl, but he made no move to advance on her.  His arms constricted around Levi, nose dropping to subtly sniff at raven hair.  The brunette turned his body just enough to present his side to the retreating alpha, an acknowledgement that he did not wish to fight anymore, though he was still defensive.

Levi didn’t know how long they stood beneath the moonlight, listening to the shuffling of bodies and horses being tacked up.  Eren wouldn’t let him move, wouldn’t let him see.  He couldn’t even soothe the boy, still lost to his rut.  The raven could only curl his fingers against the tattered remains of the brunette’s shirt and inhale his scent.

When the sound of hoof beats finally reached their ears Eren’s head popped up, gaze lingering on the direction they came from.  He did not growl, did not roar, did not attempt to chase.  He only snorted before looking down at Levi, eyes alight with concern, thumbs stroking beneath his cheekbones to try and clear away the dirt smudged on his face.

_So gentle, our alpha._

Levi gasped when he finally took the chance to look into Eren’s eyes.  They were so damn bright.  Galaxies swirled in those emerald depths.

“Mon Dieu,” he exhaled. “Les étoiles vivent dans tes yeux.”

Eren rumbled at him then, taking a step forward, and then another, and another.  Levi moved with him without complaint until he found himself pressed against a tree trunk, its bark biting into his back.  Large hands had come to rest on either side of his head, the brunette looking down at him with those ethereal eyes, and suddenly he was afraid.  No, more than afraid.  He was petrified.  There was something expectant in those irises.  Something that needled at him, demanded.  It sent a chill straight down to his toes and he realized that he hadn’t felt such fear since…

“Maman…”

Stormy eyes fell closed, glassy droplets spilling from beneath his eyelids, and he collapsed, unaware of the arms that reached out to catch him.

* * *

Eren stared down at the pale man huddled against him.  Levi was naked and feverish, plastered to the brunette’s chest.  The nakedness had been the raven’s own doing, much as Eren had tried to stop him once he came to his senses.  There was nothing to be done, however, with Levi desperately clutching at him, clinging to him, hiding against his body.  The smaller male only settled when Eren laid down with him, crooning soft and low in an attempt to relax him.

It was still dark out, but Eren could feel that dawn wasn’t far off on the horizon.  He’d been laying with Levi for hours, though he had come to outside with the raven passed out in his arms.  He’d noticed the horses had gone missing, saw patches of overturned dirt where the moonlight illuminated the soil, but he didn’t know what any of it meant.  The scent of blood hung in the air, metallic though not abundant.  The brunette had his concerns, particularly since a large chunk of time was missing from his memory, indicating the rut had taken over. But there was nothing he could do about it until Levi woke.

Eren nuzzled Levi’s face, taking the opportunity to scent mark him while he could.  It was the only thing that kept him calm in his present state.  The only thing that kept him from violating his captain.  As long as Levi smelled like him it was safe to be near.  True enough, it felt like he had swallowed a million razor blades, his throat dry and raw from (he assumed) screaming at whatever had invaded their camp.  His stomach also felt as if it were full of lead, a veritable cannonball sitting in his gullet.  He ignored it all in favor of keeping Levi safe.

The shifter wasn’t unfamiliar with his instincts by any stretch of the imagination.  He had always been naturally protective of his friends and family, long before he had presented as an alpha.  But even so, what he felt towards Levi was, he knew, entirely different.  He would die for Mikasa, for Armin, for humanity, but his reasoning for such sacrifice held an undeniable and considerably deeper meaning in regards to the captain.

It was terrifying.

It was also too late to try and reject it.

Eren sighed, dragging the tips of his fingers over a hypersensitive scent gland, shuddering at the contact.  Wet fingers were then drawn over Levi’s throat, his nape, and finally up into his hair where they scratched lightly at the smaller male’s scalp.  The action was rewarded with a small moan, Levi’s head tipping back and his pelvis thrusting forward, grinding against Eren’s belly.

“Ah, shit…” Eren huffed, attempting to move away.

Levi followed, growling and grinding more firmly against Eren’s abdomen.

“Tiens toi tranquille, espèce de petite merde!"

“Levi, stop!  You don’t know what you’re doing!”

Eren tried to scramble away, but Levi’s thighs held him fast, flipping the pair so he was on top.  He groaned, rutting himself against the boy’s equally animated groin, damp bangs falling forward to cover heavy lidded eyes.  Thin lips were parted to allow harsh breaths to pass, tiny whimpers following close behind.

“Fuck, I just wanna fucking come.  Why can’t I…”

Large hands seized his waist and the captain promptly found himself on his back again.  He was being smothered by the shifter’s weight and he tried in vain to throw Eren off.  He was too weak and Eren was too heavy.

“You have to _stop._ I can’t…I don’t want to…” Eren shuddered, rocking into Levi, his breath ghosting past the raven’s reddened ear.

“Fuck me!”

“No!”

“What do you mean “no”!?”

“It’s just the fever talking.  Just your heat.  It’s not what you want!”

"Tu n'es qu'un gamin!"

Eren growled then, flipping Levi onto his stomach with no effort at all.  He was angry but he was in control of himself, and he was damned determined to keep things that way.  He ground his clothed erection against Levi’s bare ass, noting how the smaller male tensed beneath him.  How he tried to pull himself forward, out of Eren’s grasp.

“Tell me again that you want me to fuck you, that you want me _inside_ you, when you react like that.”

Both of them were shivering, but it was for entirely different reasons.  Eren wanted so badly.  So fucking _badly_.  He knew he could take the captain in this state.  It wasn’t a matter of consent, but of power.  The brunette held all the physical power in this instance.  He could force Levi to submit, could take him over and over and over.  He could sate the blood rut, free himself from the desires he’d held inside himself for years.

But if he did that, he would truly become the one thing he had never wanted to be.

“I’m not a monster…” Eren whispered, voice thick and watery.

Levi continued to quake beneath him, body vibrating in a strange combination of fury and urgent need.  He wanted to beat the boy senseless, make him submit.  It was an alpha’s rage that stirred in him.  But the newly formed omega that nagged at the back of his mind wished to beg for the shifter’s forgiveness.  Coax him to bed, entice Eren to take him as roughly or as sweetly as he dared.

Levi gasped when Eren’s forearm wrapped around his chest, hauling them both up so his broad back was pressed to Eren’s front.  The brunette’s forehead rested in the inky strands of Levi’s hair, breath evening out as he inhaled his captain’s scent, relaxing him.

“I know you’re not stupid.  I know you know I want you.  Have wanted you.  For years.”

The raven was tight-lipped and still in the boy’s embrace.

“I told you I was here not to take what I wanted, but to give you what you needed, and that’s still true.  It’s taking everything I have not to violate you in every way I can think of, and Sina knows I’ve had plenty of time to think about those ways…but I’m not a monster.  I may be a titan, but I’m not a _monster_.”

Levi slumped against Eren then.  His cock was angry and red, verging on turning purple, precome dripping heavily down his length.  He had actually been concerned at one point that it was going to fall off.  He had since learned that his erection would go away, albeit briefly, but that didn’t make it less painful _now_.  Even so, he was just coherent enough to hear the truth in Eren’s words.

The boy wasn’t like those in the Underground.  He wasn’t like the deviants who would have literally fucked him to death in his current state.  He was not depraved and disgusting.  He was not cruel and malicious.  And in that single moment, Levi felt ashamed of himself.  Ashamed and confused, pained and lost.  And all he could think to do during the brief respite from the mind numbing pain, was turn in Eren’s grasp and cling to him.

Eren began his crooning anew with no hesitation, resuming running his scent soaked fingers over Levi’s body, through his hair, beneath his nose.

He didn’t stop.  Not even after Levi had fallen into a dreamless sleep.

The shifter kissed Levi’s flushed temple and settled down beside the smaller man, molding their bodies together and burying his face against an oil slicked throat.

“Hate me now,” Eren murmured, “so you can love me later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mon Dieu - My God  
> Les étoiles vivent dans tes yeux - The stars live in your eyes  
> Maman - Mom  
> Tiens toi tranquille, espèce de petite merde! - Hold still/be quiet, you little shit!  
> Tu n'es qu'un gamin - You're a brat!


	13. Separate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a hard time with this chapter. It wanted to pull me in a bunch of different directions. Sorry if it seems disjointed...it felt disjointed.
> 
> The next one will be better, I promise.

~~~~Eren stirred beneath a pleasant weight, eyes cracking open when a gentle vibration hummed against his throat.  Levi’s presence atop him was no longer surprising as the raven had ended up sprawled over his torso more than once during the night.  He had frequently woken Eren with mindless grinding, but a few minutes of soft crooning had settled him again.  The brunette always took those opportunities to fervently scent mark the smaller, quieting the instincts that told him to take what he desired.

Though the urge to stretch was present, Eren refrained when he realized that Levi…was purring.  His eyes went wide and his body stiffened, arms rigid at his sides.  Levi shifted against Eren’s chest, mumbling something about “holding still”, his fingers curling into the boy’s shirt, breath puffing against his jaw.  He resumed purring with a soft sigh, sagging heavily against the shifter’s body, warm and content.

Cautious hands raised to alight on the small of Levi’s back, the brunette taking the chance to stroke along his exposed spine.   The captain hadn’t bothered putting clothing back on.  Not even after waking up nude in Eren’s arms.  He’d told the boy it was nothing he hadn’t seen before and it actually hurt to wore clothes.  Eren couldn’t argue with that point, and the truth was that Levi’s nakedness didn’t bother him.  He wasn’t really even aware of it, overall, his instincts helping him focus on being close to the man rather than his state of undress.

Calloused fingers wandered over the planes of muscle and bone, cataloging the ridges of scars and the bumps of his superior’s vertebrae.  Levi was marked like the warrior he was, every silvered line, every gnarled knot of flesh, every scab a testament to his grit and determination to survive.  To help others survive.  The man was absolutely…

“Remarkable.”

And then the moment was over as quickly as it had formed.  Not because Levi had awakened, but because as he shifted over Eren’s body, sunlight highlighted his pale frame and green eyes were able to see that he was covered in bruises.  They dotted his arms mostly, though there was a large purple splotch that spanned the width of his shoulders.  Eren’s initial response was anger, though it quickly transformed into fear when he realized that he very well could have injured Levi in such a way.

_Failure, alpha!  Failure!_

Levi did wake then, a tired scowl etching his features as he glared down at the male beneath him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he snarked, voice rough with exhaustion.  “You smell like a burning garbage pile.”

Eren avoided his gaze.

“It’s too early for this shit,” the raven continued to grouse.  “Calm the fuck down and go back to sleep.”

Eren couldn’t go back to sleep.  And if Eren couldn’t go back to sleep, that meant Levi couldn’t go back to sleep, and that was wholly displeasing.

“For Sina’s sake, kid, what the shit is it?”

The shifter still avoided that steely gaze, his lips tight, sinews of his neck strung taut as he tilted his head up submissively.

“I hurt you.”

“Eh?”

“I…I must have lost control.  Hurt you trying to…trying…to…” his breath hitched, unable to form the words.

Levi sat up then, a soft “Oh” escaping him.  His hands pressed against a hard chest to help hold himself aloft.  The brat was a lot broader across the midsection than he would have thought.  That was something to file away for later.  His present concern, however, was figuring out how to explain what happened during the night without sending the boy over the edge.

“Come on, kid,” Levi rumbled, gentle fingers pulling through atangled mess of chocolate locks.  “Get up, start breakfast.  I need to bathe…badly.”

“How can you even stand to be around me?  Look at what I did to you.”

Levi only snorted.

“ _Levi._ ”

But the raven was already moving, crossing the room and pausing in the open doorway, bruised back to Eren, head tipped downwards.  He said nothing, just allowed Eren to analyze his position, and then crossed the hallway to disappear into the bathroom.

* * *

Levi hurried through his bath, Eren’s clanging and clattering around in the kitchen disconcerting him.  The boy was normally clumsy and fidgety most certainly, but he’d heard the idiot drop a pan no less than three times.  The building wouldn’t be left standing if he left him to his own devices any longer, and the last thing Levi wanted was to die naked and wet, huddled in a bathtub.

He scrunched up his nose, wrapping a towel around his waist. It was far too rough against his hypersensitive skin, but it couldn’t be helped.  He roughly dried his hair as he walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, unable to hide a smirk when Eren dropped a pot on his toe.

“You should really be more careful,” the raven chuckled.

“Yes, sir,” Eren murmured, casting his eyes to the ground.

The smaller male sighed then, taking a moment to look down at his crossed arms.  He’d noted the bruises while he bathed and he supposed that he did look a little worse for wear, but he felt fine.  Eren’s whimpering made it clear that he did _not_ feel fine.

“Sit down.”

“But breakfast isn’t…”

“Sit.  Down,” he growled forcefully.

Eren planted his ass in a chair and sat up straight as an arrow.

“You didn’t do this to me.”

“But I…”

Levi held up a hand to halt his protest.

“It’s not a trick, it’s not a riddle, it’s not a fucking metaphor.  You didn’t lay a hand on me.”

The shifter remained silent.

“Your idiot sister decided it would be a brilliant idea to come out here and try to “save you”.  I don’t know what the fuck she thought she was saving you from, but…”

“Mikasa was here?” Eren’s head shot up, green eyes wide and round.

Levi scowled at being interrupted, but nodded his affirmation.

“The blonde coconut and the dipshit with dual hair colors were with her, too.”

“Armin and Jean…”

“They’re all idiots.  They’re lucky they’re not dead.”

A lump formed in Eren’s throat then, heart clenching in his chest.

“Did I…?”

“Try to kill them?” Levi raised an eyebrow, leaning forward on the kitchen table, nonchalant as could be.

The brunette worried at his lip, nodding in answer to the captain’s inquiry.

“Yeah, you did.  But not until Kirstein lost his damn mind and came after me.  It’s a funny thing what pheromones can do to fuckwits.”

Grassy eyes met mercury, fat tears rolling down tan cheeks.  It was immature and ridiculous, he knew, but he couldn’t stop them.

“I know what you’re thinking, Eren,” Levi spoke quietly. “Nothing you did was wrong.  It wasn’t your fault.  They shouldn’t have been here.”

“I tried to kill my sister.”

“Actually, you tried to kill, what is it you call him?  “Horse face”?”

Levi had been hoping to get at least a smile out of the kid, but Eren only looked grimmer.

“These bruises are from Jean, Eren,” Levi sighed.

“I don’t understand?”

“Of course you don’t, you shitty brat!  You keep interrupting!”

Eren chewed the inside of his cheek, bowing his head and speaking a soft, “Sorry.”

“We were up in the trees.  The wind blew and Jean…smelled me.  His itty bitty brain had a meltdown and he came after me.  I was climbing higher, but I…I had to stop,” Levi paused for a moment, swallowing harshly at the memory.  He hated feeling weak. “He grabbed my ankle and pulled me out of the branches.  My back hit first when I landed.  That’s where the biggest bruise came from.”

“The others?”

“Fighting him off.  Nothing more.  You got to me before anything happened, and Mikasa kept you away from Jean until I could get you distracted.”

“So, the scratches I saw in the dirt?”

“From fighting with Mikasa.”

“And the horses?”

“I told them to take both.  Jean was in no condition to hike back or use his gear, there are no other outposts nearby, and they sure as shit couldn’t stay here with you.  You were intent on disemboweling all of them.”

There was a bit too much pride in Levi’s tone when he said those last words, but he didn’t much care.

_Alpha is strong.  Powerful._

“I hurt them,” Eren frowned.

“Yeah, you did.  But you didn’t kill them.”

“I tried to.”

“Eren…”

The shifter stood abruptly, grabbing his boots and making a beeline for the door.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

“I can’t be here right now.”

“Jaeger!”

“Captain!” Eren barked back, eyes dark, lost. “I can’t be here right now!  Please just…just let me go.  I need to just…I need to walk.  Or something.”

It was Levi’s turn to look away, gaze going hard.  He dismissed the youth with a simple wave of his hand, turning to head back into the bathroom to soak away his ire.  The front door slammed and Levi scowled as he felt Eren’s presence disappear.  He released a shuddering breath then, wondering why he felt he’d been abandoned.

The raven wondered then if it had been wise to tell Eren the truth.  It was a foolish idea to think telling him the truth in this instance was wrong, but perhaps he could have done so in a better manner.  But then, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that there was no good way to tell someone that they’d tried to murder their sister or their friends.  The boy needed space, had asked for it knowing he needed to calm down.  Levi had no right to be angry about that.

And yet, he was.

_Alpha finds no comfort in omega.  Failure._

Yes.  Levi was, in this instance, a failure.


	14. Stay

Eren headed straight into the forest, uncaring of what surprises may lay waiting for him.  He was a goddamn titan shifter. What the fuck was going to hurt him out here?  What was going to hurt him more than the knowledge that he’d tried to end the lives of his sister and his friends?

There was nothing.

And Levi!  Levi spoke about the entire incident as if it were nothing!  As if it were some trivial matter that he’d almost murdered the only family he had left in the world!  But why should he care?  Levi didn’t form attachments.  He didn’t need anybody.  He was cold, and cruel, and…

Eren stopped in his tracks, immediately berating himself.  None of those things were fair to think of his captain.  None of them were _right_ either.  The shifter knew damn good and well that Levi _did_ form attachments.  That he _did_ need others.  He had told Eren the truth not because he was hardhearted and mean-spirited, but because Eren needed to hear it.  Because Eren couldn’t bear the thought of having injured someone he loved so dearly.

And he did love Levi.  Loved him in an entirely different way from Mikasa and Armin, and even Jean, but it was still love.  And that knowledge forced the brunette to realize that his current state of mind had been inevitable.  Regardless of Levi telling him the truth, he would have found himself hurting one way or another, because those closest to him were being hurt by his inability to control himself.

He never remembered anything when he escaped the grip of the rut.  He only ever remembered fighting it before it took over his body, and even those memories were hazy.  It was completely unlike the loss of control when he first discovered his ability to shift.  His mind was always present, even if he couldn’t make the titan behave as he wanted it to.  With the blood rut, nothing of him remained.  Mind, body, and soul were all consumed by rage and lust.

Even now the urge to fight, to maim, to kill, bubbled under the surface of his skin.  It prickled and poked, made him itch somewhere deep inside.  He wanted to scratch at himself but knew it would be of no use.  Never had the brunette been more grateful that there were no humans nearby.  No alphas to try and challenge him or omegas to plead for his favor.  He knew that none would be spared if the rut took over while in their presence.  He would not knowingly go after humans, but he did need to quell the need to bring destruction.

There was only one way to satisfy his urges.  He needed to hunt.

He began walking once more, eyes and ears now more focused on his surroundings.  He saw some crushed grass and broken twigs as he picked his way through foliage, moving as stealthily as he could.  Grace had never been his forte.  Levi constantly reminded him of his ineptitude in that regard.

Eren smiled.

The rustling of a nearby bush had Eren dropping down behind a tree and he watched as a small doe emerged.  A quick study of her overall condition and size told Eren that she was not a yearling.  She had been around for a season or two.  Young enough to be harvested, old enough for him not to feel guilty about ending her time on earth.  Of course, it was silly to feel such guilt anyway.  The world was a cruel place.

He unsheathed a small knife from his boot, testing its weight in his hand.  It wouldn’t be pretty, but it would do the job.  He sat still and quiet for what felt like millennia, waiting for the doe to turn away from him just a bit more.  When she finally turned to grasp at some fresh shoots of grass, Eren let the knife fly.  She bleated as the blade caught her right behind shoulder, low and in between armpit and ribcage.

“Gotcha!”

The doe hobbled off into the tree line, Eren following calmly behind.  The wound itself was not fatal and he knew it would not be.  Its placement was to slow her down and nothing more.  She wouldn’t survive regardless, as infection would take her if Eren did not.  Eren would certainly not leave her to suffer and die in such a manner.  Truth be told, he felt like an asshole nailing her as he had in the first place, but she wouldn’t get far with that blade embedded as it was.

It took forty-five minutes or so of the brunette trailing the doe, locating blood drops and broken branches before he found her wobbling about the bank of a stream.  It seemed he’d managed to hit an artery and she was woozy from blood loss.  All the better for the both of them.

His approach was cautious, watching for any signs that she might attempt to attack him, but she made no such move.  Rather, she watched Eren move nearer, eerily tranquil.  Perhaps she had already resigned herself to her fate.

“Hey, honey,” Eren spoke lowly.  “I’m sorry.”

She bleated softly, falling onto her forelegs, struggling briefly to right herself.

“Mikasa says…Mikasa says that the world is a cruel place.  But it’s also beautiful.  Have you seen beautiful things?”

The doe shuddered and twitched, but she had given up trying to stand again.  Eren stood in silence for a moment, just watching.  He cocked his head, wondering how an animal accepted its own death so easily.  He found he admired her strength.

Levi would probably laugh at him.

“I’m sorry,” he said once more, looking down into warm brown eyes. 

And then he surged forward, straddling her back and pulling the knife from the doe’s side, slitting her throat in two clean movements.  He held her head as hot crimson coated his hands and forearms, felt the sticky fluid causing her fur to stick to his skin.  He reveled in it, feeling something deep within him sigh in great satisfaction.

It took only a couple of minutes for the doe’s thrashing to diminish to the final twitches of death.  A shudder coursed through the shifter then, his forehead pressing to the neck of the doe’s corpse.  A whispered “thank you” was given and Eren climbed off her back, setting to work to get her field dressed and back to the outpost.

_Omega will be pleased._

Eren snorted, but deep down he certainly hoped his inner alpha was right.

* * *

Eren had been gone for several hours and Levi was getting anxious.  The boy had run off at around 10 AM and the sun’s present position told Levi it was nearing 3 PM.  He’d thrown on and removed his clothing several times, wanting to go after the shifter and haul his sorry ass back to the camp, but he couldn’t stand the feeling of the material against his skin.  He found himself wondering why it was so bothersome to him when Eren’s clothes against his body hadn’t much affected him at all.

_It is more important to be close to alpha._

“Shut the fuck up,” he growled.

The raven had mostly been whiling away the time by exercising.  Pull-ups and hanging sit-ups on low hanging branches, push-ups in his bedroom, a jog around the outpost.  It did nothing for his anxiety, but it did give him an excuse to take yet another bath.  The slick that constantly leaked from him caused an unbearable stickiness that he wanted to be rid of, but even he had to admit that the amount of bathing he was engaging in bordered on ridiculous.

Levi was about to take another lap around the outpost when he heard something crashing through the grass near the trees.  Though he was immediately put on high alert, in the back of his mind he knew it was only Eren.  He huffed sharply as the scent of sweat and blood met his nose, growing concerned as the stomping grew closer.  It took everything he had in him not to immediately rush over and inspect him when Eren finally did appear, covered in gore from head to toe, something dead slung over his shoulders.

Grey eyes dilated, irises swallowed up by the ink of his pupils.  Eren stood before him, tall and proud, smelling of victory and death.  The clean freak in Levi was disgusted, but the omega in Levi was undeniably excited.  Aroused.

“Where were you?” the raven queried as evenly as possible.

_Omega was worried._

“I needed some time alone.”

_Alpha brought you a gift._

“There’s some rope in the stable out back.  You can hang the carcass from the tree over there.”

_Alpha is a good provider._

“Yes, sir.”

“Eren.”

“Levi.”

Levi nodded at his name, turning to enter the house and draw the shifter a bath.  He looked absolutely glorious smeared with blood, but he didn’t smell right, and the raven didn’t like it.  It wouldn’t do.  Not at all.

When Eren entered the building Levi was there waiting, naked as he had been for the last several hours.  They appraised each other in silence, the brunette walking nearer to the smaller male cautiously.  Tentative hands reached for a crimson stained shirt, gaze focused on a sweaty throat rather than the eyes that were watching him, scrutinizing his every move.

“What are you doing, Levi?” Eren asked softly, trying to catch silver hues with his own green ones.

“I…I don’t know yet,” the captain answered honestly, tugging a bit more insistently on the brunette’s shirt.

A tan hand raised to cover a smaller white one, thumb rubbing circles over Levi’s knuckles and his wrist.  As quickly as the touch came, it was gone, a gentle incline of his head signaling the elder that he could continue on with whatever he was doing.

Levi pulled off the bloodied shirt, gingerly folding it up and placing it on top of his own boots by the door.  He dropped into a squat to untie Eren’s bootlaces, laughing softly when the boy wobbled as his footwear was removed.  From there he took Eren’s hand, lead him into the bathroom, and gestured at the full tub.

“I won’t look,” Levi said solemnly.

Eren huffed a laugh, his hand coming up to cup the side of Levi’s neck, sighing when the man leaned into the touch.

“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, hmm?”

Levi blushed and turned his head away.

“Thank you for this.”

_Beautiful omega.  He cares for us._

“It’s not…it’s nothing.”

_We are trying our best._

“It’s everything.”

The captain flushed deeper, hand moving to rub at the back of his neck only to find Eren’s fingers still there.  He did not shoo them away.  He only brushed his fingertips along their length briefly before his hand fell back to his side.

“I should go…” he trailed off awkwardly.

“You can stay, Levi.  I don’t mind,” Eren offered, hopeful, but cautious.  He didn’t want to scare the elder away.

Levi’s Adam’s apple bobbed with a heavy swallow as he debated.  Leaving was the proper thing to do.  But then, they were beyond what was proper already, what with Levi having slept naked on top of the boy.  Not to mention the grinding…

He was fairly sure it would drive him mad to walk away now, after being separated for most of the day.

“Levi?”

“I’ll stay.  If you don’t mind,” the raven spoke under his breath.

_Don’t send me away._

“I don’t mind,” Eren repeated with a smile on his lips, ever patient.

_Stay with me._


	15. Crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not exactly what I intended...but I like it anyway

* * *

Eren stood in the bathroom, silent and watchful, as Levi moved around him.  He was sniffing, sniffing, sniffing, but the brunette didn’t understand what he was searching for.  It had taken three baths for Levi to deem him clean enough to climb out of the tub, and Eren was pruny, cold, and absolutely positive he’d used enough soap to keep himself clean for a thousand lifetimes.

But Levi was agitated.  He stopped in front of Eren with an unreadable look on his face, mouth pinched, the corners of his eyes scrunched up.

“What is it?” Eren asked, keeping his voice low and gentle.

“You…” Levi began, then halted, considering.  “You don’t smell right,” he finished with a mumble.

Eren lifted an arm to sniff at his armpit, ignoring his superior’s face twisting up in disgust.

“I smell like Jasmine blossoms, Captain.”

“You don’t smell right,” Levi insisted, frowning.

Eren was about to protest, but then Levi was standing directly in front of him, nose near his sternum.  He was sniffing again, scenting, and his hand reached up to press against his own scent gland before wet digits reached out towards tan skin.  His fingers hovered over a pectoral muscle, twitched, but he did not press down.

“Go on,” the brunette whispered.

The raven’s fingers twitched again before moving to smear pheromone laden oil on Eren’s flesh.  He repeated the action, slicking his hand up with more oil each subsequent pass, shuddering in response to Eren’s encouraging sighs.  He even took one of Eren’s hands in his and, after a moment of contemplation, rubbed the entire length of the soldier’s arm along his scent glands.

“Better?” Eren smiled gently.

“Shut up,” Levi bit back.  Though he stood as tall and proud as ever, there was a slight shift in his weight that was telling.  Eren couldn’t ignore it.

“D’you…uh, would you mind if I…?”

Levi turned his head away, opting to stare at the far wall.  He waited for a touch that did not come.

“Well?  Get it over with, I know you want to,” he growled.

The words were sharp, but the tone lacked any real fire.  The brunette rubbed his own oil slicked hands along Levi’s jaw, down the sides of his neck, and across his shoulders.  He bit his lower lip to hold back a smile when the smaller male shivered and let loose a small chirp of contentment.

“Are you hungry?” Eren asked. “I still need to finish butchering that deer, but it shouldn’t take too long.”

“I’ll do it,” Levi rumbled, taking a step back from the boy.  His proximity was getting to be too much.  He didn’t know how to handle it.

“Levi…”

“It’s fine.  I need to do something, use my hands.  I’m going mad in here.”

“It’s alright if you want to lay down and—“

“STOP IT!” Levi roared at him.  “Stop treating me like I’m made of glass!  I’m not fragile, or broken, or _weak_!”

Eren took a step back only to move forward again to crowd the smaller man.  They were both seething, Levi red faced, scent acrid and furious.  Eren smelled much the same, smoky and cloying.  They stood in that bathroom, staring with bared teeth, each waiting for the other to make a move.

Levi broke first, dropping his weight to throw his shoulder into Eren’s belly.  The boy caught him just barely, but the wet floor sent him careening downwards to crash into the tile.  There was a veritable tornado on top of him, biting, scratching, punching, and Eren couldn’t manage to get a grip on the man.  His own attempt to fight back was half-hearted, and that seemed to make Levi rage all the more.

“Stop being such a pathetic piss-ant and fight!” Levi snarled as he pulled at Eren’s wet hair

The brunette’s natural inclination was to say no.  The declaration was on the tip of his tongue.  But he wasn’t as stupid as people believed him to be.  He was intuitive enough to understand.

_Omega is not weak._

_But is he really Omega?_

_Does it matter?_

Eren concluded that it didn’t.  The next time Levi swung at him he blocked the blow, taking the opportunity to flip the raven on his back.  The smaller soldier was smart enough to anticipate and brought his legs up to prevent the larger from pinning him, kicking the boy square in the chest.  It gave Levi just enough room to scoot out from under him and swing onto Eren’s back.

If the pair of them hadn’t been out of their minds with rage, the entire scene would have been hysterical.  But as it was, they were both fighting for superiority.  Eren tried rolling over again to crush Levi against the floor, but the captain had wormed his arm beneath the younger’s chin, his forearm pressing against Eren’s windpipe.  Thin fingers were tangled in his hair, holding on in a painfully tight grip as that forearm pressed tighter and tighter.

Eren gasped.

“Tap out,” Levi rumbled, voice eerily cold.  His legs squeezed around Eren’s ribcage and he kept up the pressure on his throat.  He could see the boy turning blue.

Eren refused to give in.

“You can tap out or pass out, Jaeger.”

The boy snorted through his nose, made one last attempt to claw the raven’s arm away…and slapped his hand on the floor twice.

Levi immediately rolled away, turning his back to the gasping alpha.  He listened to Eren wheeze and retch for a few moments before calmly stating, “I’m not weak.”

Eren wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince.

* * *

Levi exited the building quietly.  He did not stomp or slam drawers as he collected his supplies, did not slam the door.  He simply let his rage simmer beneath his skin, allowing it to slowly seep out through his pores as he began working on the deer carcass.  If Eren were doing the butchering at this juncture, it wouldn’t be surprising if he hacked the meat to pieces.  But Levi?  He worked out his fury through precise cuts and slices, his anger ebbing away with each piece of meat he laid out on the tarp beneath his feet.  It was a disgusting task, but the small bits of blood and gore that ended up painting his skin took his mind off his bruises, if only for a short while.

It took him a couple of hours to complete his task, but when he had, he hauled the meat to a nearby shed, salted down what he knew they wouldn’t immediately use, and sealed it away in a barrel.  The rest was brought back inside in a small sack and set in the sink for Eren to do as he chose with it.  Water was already set on the stove top to boil, a fire having been started.  Perhaps he was going to make stew.

No matter.

The brunette was presently nowhere to be found, and that was quite alright with the raven.  He was too exhausted to deal with Eren’s energy or pity.  And that was really the worst of it all, wasn’t it?  That Eren pitied him.  Levi knew well enough that Eren wasn’t trying to save his own skin.  How could he be?  He didn’t know what he was enduring.  Not entirely.  That’s what Hanji had told him, anyway.  Of course, Hanji couldn’t really be trusted, could she?

Levi snorted, dipping a cloth into the water basin next to the sink, scrubbing off bits of dried blood from hands, torso, and feet.  It was a cursory once over.  He only needed to be clean enough to go lay down in his bed.  He’d already bathed multiple times today and couldn’t justify another, no matter how badly he wanted to submerge himself again.

He turned down the hall and entered his room only to find Eren waiting there for him.  He had at least put on some pants (Sina knows that he didn’t want that kid’s bare ass on his clean sheets), but was still bare chested.  The way he was laid out on the bed, hands folded over his belly, legs crossed at the ankle, as if he had a right to be there, made something in Levi’s gut flare in irritation.  The raven couldn’t help the way his eyes narrowed, but he held himself in check, waiting for the boy’s acknowledgement of his presence.

“I don’t think you’re weak,” the boy said evenly, staring at the wall opposite the bed.  “I’ve never thought it.  Could never think it.”

Levi said nothing, just pressed his lips together, fingers curling into his palms.

“It’s just instinct.  I can’t help myself.  I know you can take care of yourself.  You were doing it literally before I was even born,” Eren frowned.  “But you…when you were on the floor in that kitchen…I thought you were dying.  I couldn’t just…I can’t…”

“How much do you know, Eren?” the raven interjected.

Eren turned and looked at him then, eyes stern.

“How much do _you_ know?”

Levi couldn’t hold back his smile.  The audacity of this kid.  It amused him as much as it annoyed him.

“I know you’re in blood rut.  That’s what Hanji said anyway.”

“I know you’re in heat.  My nose tells me that.”

The raven stared at the boy dead on then, challenging.  Eren glanced away.

“I know that the Commander sent us out here to prevent anything happening at the base.  I know that Hanji sent me out here to protect you,” Eren paused when Levi scoffed, offended. “I know that I’ll die if I don’t…I know I’m going to die.”

It was Levi’s turn to frown, searching the boy’s face for any indication that he was going to prevent that from happening.  He found nothing but resolute acceptance.

“You’re ok with that?”

The brunette stood then, though he made no move towards the captain.  His gaze was serious, his body deceptively relaxed.

“We’re all going to die, Levi.”

“You’re foolish.”

“Yes.  But I’m not stupid.”

“Debatable.”

Eren offered a sad smile then.

“The first time I ever saw you, I was twelve years old.  You had returned from an expedition, had suffered major casualties.  People threw trash at you, at your squad.  And you never lashed out at them, never lost your temper.  You just…rode on.  I knew then that I wanted to be a member of the Corps.  Needed to be.”

“Foolish.”

The brunette continued, undeterred.

“I didn’t see you again until…until that trial.  You saved my life in that courtroom.  I was fifteen then, and brash, and I didn’t know how to keep my mouth shut…”

“You still don’t.”

“And you kicked the shit out of me so I could live.  So my life could mean something.  I accepted my death the day you saved my life.”

“I don’t…“

“All you have ever done is protect me, Levi.  And if I lose my life protecting you…that’s ok.”

_Selfless alpha._

“I have loved you since I was seventeen years old.  I thought I loved you at fifteen, but I didn’t know you then.  I was infatuated, I worshipped you, I didn’t see your flaws.  You were…perfect.  And then I learned that you weren’t perfect at all.  You were scarred and broken.  You got angry, you hurt, you grieved, you bled.  You were human.  Just like everybody else.”

“Eren…”

“And even though you were just like everybody else, you still…weren’t.  And I accepted that I could never have you.  Be with you.  Two alphas together never work, let alone the age difference.  That didn’t bother me at all, but I figured it would bother you.  But you have to know that it’s never mattered to me.  Alpha or omega, mixed up or not.  You’re just…” Eren paused then, tongue dragging over dry lips before he raised his head, meeting Levi’s eyes with his own.  “You’re just Levi to me.  That’s all I’ve ever cared about.”

“Qu'est-ce que tu me fais? Comment peux-tu dire ces choses?” Levi whispered, eyes hard. “Ce n'est pas juste…”

A tan hand extended, offering Levi a choice.  Eren would accept whatever the result was.  But Levi wasn’t sure that he could do the same, and he wavered in the spot where he stood.

_Let alpha comfort us._

“Je te déteste...pour me faire t'aimer,” the smaller spoke softly, voice thick.  Even as he uttered the words, words he knew Eren didn’t understand, he reached out to slip his hand into the larger palm.  But he did not go to Eren.  He pulled the brunette forward and met him in the middle, face pressing into a broad chest, arms curling around his ribcage to reach up and press against sharp shoulder blades.

Eren buried his face in midnight strands and simply held Levi against him until the shaking stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Qu'est-ce que tu me fais? Comment peux-tu dire ces choses? - What are you doing to me? How can you say these things?  
> Ce n'est pas juste…- It's not fair...  
> Je te déteste...pour me faire t'aimer - I hate you...for making me love you


	16. Spill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, have a humorous chapter. Jean really annoys me, but I enjoy writing him for his ridiculous reactions to shit.

Three cadets stood in the commander’s office in silence.  Their heads were raised, stoicism rendering their faces blank.  Jean’s head was wrapped in bandages, one eye fully covered, but still he stood beside his comrades, tall and proud.  He had refused the seat when offered.  He would take his punishment like a man.  Standing.

“I should court martial all three of you right here and now,” Erwin finally spoke, his back to the trio.  “You jeopardized this base, you jeopardized your lives, and moreover, you could have cost us humanity's two strongest assets.”

Silence.

“And for what purpose?” the towering blonde turned then, an eyebrow raised, icy gaze falling on Mikasa.  “Because you’re too co-dependent on your brother to let him be for five minutes?”

The ravenette clenched her jaw, but remained otherwise still.

“Is that the mark of a soldier, Ackerman?  Is that the mark of an intelligent human being?  With such mindless behavior you are no better than a titan wandering the outlands.  If you were cut down right here it would be well deserved.”

Harsh words spoken with a calm tongue.

“Tell me…Jean, is it?  Was it worth the broken nose?  The fractured orbital socket?  Was your impromptu expedition worth the beating Jaeger served you?”

“No, sir!” Jean replied forcefully.

“Mr. Arlert, I know you to be an intelligent young man.  You’re a brilliant strategist, a master of study.  What could have possibly possessed you to think that traveling to that outpost was a good idea?”

“It wasn’t, sir!”

The commander tilted his head then, carefully observing as two pairs of eyes flicked over to Mikasa.

“Ahh, I see,” he began, moving to stand directly in front of the ravenette.  “It’s because of you that they went.  It is because of you that they risked their own lives, knowing that what you were doing was foolish, was dangerous.”

“You sent Eren out there to die,” Mikasa returned.  Her voice was calm, but grey eyes were hardened, filled with a disturbing viciousness Erwin had only ever seen in two other people.

“You forget yourself, Ackerman,” Erwin spoke lowly, tone dropping to something dangerous, foreboding.  “How would it be in the best interest of humanity, for the cause, to send my two best soldiers to die at an outpost?”

“I…”

“I did not ask you to speak.  You will listen and listen well.  The only reason you are not being stripped of your position and thrown over the walls is because the Corps needs the numbers and we need information.  If you defy me again, it will be the last thing you ever do as a member of this regiment.  Do I make myself clear?”

Mikasa squared her shoulders, refusing to crack under the weight of Erwin’s blue stare.

“Crystal,” she growled, ignoring the two males who cringed at the display between the alphas.

“Report to Hanji immediately.  Tell her every single detail of what you experienced while you were out.  You will be escorted back to your quarters once she’s satisfied with what you’ve told her.  Dismissed.”

Armin and Jean scuttled out of his office as quickly as their legs could carry them.  Mikasa, however, stayed back and simply waited.  She knew there was more.

Erwin rounded his desk, hands pressing flat against its surface, his shoulders hunched.  It was a dangerous position, one inviting challenge and insubordination.  A dare.

“You say you love him, Mikasa, but your obsession is going to get you both killed.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but a sinister rumbling stopped her.

“If you truly care about him you will allow him to lead the life he needs to, in whatever way he can, separate from you.  He is a grown man.  He doesn’t need his sister toddling after him to coddle him.  Your job is to help save humanity, not Eren.”

The ravenette’s breath hitched, but still she said nothing.

“Go to the lab, give your report, and then to your barracks.  You’re all under guard until Levi and Eren return.”

“Sir!” Mikasa saluted before exiting Erwin’s office.  She wanted to be angry.  She wanted to argue and fight.  But all she felt was shame, and it hung over her in a heavy cloud of sourness.  Her escort wrinkled up his nose at the scent but wisely remained silent.

Jean and Armin were waiting just up the hallway with two more guards and she felt some relief once they were rejoined.  But it still was not enough to take her mind off of Eren.

* * *

“Wowee!” Hanji crowed when the soldiers entered her office.  “What happened to you?!  Tell me everything!  Ooooooo, this is so exciting!”

Jean was visibly disturbed by the scientist’s glee, leaning away as she invaded his space to investigate his wounds.

“Captain Levi said Eren is in blood rut.  Is it true?” Mikasa spoke up, though her gaze was turned to the floor.

“He is!  Isn’t it great?” the scientist giggled, hands clasped beneath her chin.

“Eren’s going to die!  What is wrong with you?!”

“Oh, don’t be silly!  I mean, you’re not wrong, he _is_ going to die…at some point.  But the blood rut isn’t going to kill him.”

Armin’s eyebrows knitted together as Hanji rambled on, trying to work out the unspoken riddle that had been posed.  He flopped down on a clear patch of ground, chin in his hand while he worked through the puzzle.

“Come on, now!  Tell me what you saw!”

“There wasn’t much to see at all.  It was too dark,” Jean spoke up.  “It was more…the smell.”

“Oh?”

“We were outdoors, but…the scent was unreal.  It was this strange combination of grass, and violets, and…some sort of spice.  It was almost overpowering.”

“Almost?” Mikasa raised an eyebrow.  “You tried to assault the captain.”

Jean blushed bright and hot, spluttering as he said, “You were right next to him!  Why didn’t you go after him?!”

MIkasa wrinkled her nose at the very idea, startling when Hanji jumped over her desk and seized her by her jacket lapels.

“Levi’s in heat!  You’re an alpha!  You didn’t want to have your way with him?!  That’s absolutely _fascinating_!!”

“That’s disgusting!  And I don’t know what you’re talking about!  He didn’t smell like he was in heat at all.  He smelled like rotting oranges and sulfur.”

“Mikasa,” Armin interjected, “Jean’s right.  The scent Captain Levi was putting out…that was an omega in heat.”

“I know what omegas smell like, Armin,” the ravenette responded flatly.  “The captain’s an alpha.  We all know that.”

“Is he?” Hanji smirked, tipping her head.

“Of course he is, he…”

Armin popped up off the floor, eyes wide and cheeks glowing red.

“No.  No, he’s not.  He _was_ , but he’s not now.  Or at least he’s less alpha than he was previously.”

“That doesn’t make any fucking sense!” Jean shouted.

“Doesn’t it?” Hanji lilted, all but shaking in delight.

“When we arrived, Eren and the captain were…playing.  Eren was on the ground, and Levi was in the treetops.  They were playing chase.”

“No way!  That’s amazing!  After only two days!?”

“What are you two talking about?  This is insane!”

“They’re, er…they’re kinda…courting?” Armin stuttered and coughed.

 “Oh…OH EW!!” Jean jumped up and covered his mouth. “That’s gross!  That is _so gross_!” the ash blonde gagged.

“There’s nothing gross about it!  What’s happening is completely normal!”

Mikasa looked ghastly pale.  It was a small miracle that she didn’t vomit on the spot.

Hanji ignored her, simply pushing on her shoulders so she could collapse in a chair.  Her focus returned to Armin, who had clearly been the most observant of the three.

“So, tell me what happened when he finally noticed you all were there!”

“He went fucking nuts is what happened!” the ash blonde blurted.  “That crap stain broke my nose!’

“Details! I need details!”

“Well,” Armin said thoughtfully, a finger resting on his chin, “Eren seemed to lose all coherency.  It was a lot like when he goes into rage mode in his titan form.  His eyes glowed brightly enough that they cast a bit of light wherever he looked.  But, more than anything, he always seemed to be trying to protect the captain.”

“He tried to kill Jean, Armin!”

“But not until Jean went after the captain!  We all know that alphas in rut are aggressive, but a blood rut is different.  An alpha in blood rut wants to destroy, eradicate any and all competition.”

The scientist nodded, gesturing for Armin to continue.

“You intervened so I could take care of Jean.  You kept him busy.  If he truly wanted to kill you, Mikasa, he could have.  He _would_ have.”

“So what stopped him?” Hanji asked.

“The captain,” Mikasa exhaled, breathless.

“The captain,” Armin nodded in agreement.  “The moment he got between the two of you Eren's objective changed.  Protecting Captain Levi overrode the instinct to kill.  And even then, though I’m sure he would have killed us any other time, he really just wanted us to go away.  He gave you his back, Mikasa.  You could have laid him open there, but as long as the captain was safe from harm, he didn’t care.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Jean scowled.  “He should have come after us, finished us off.  That’s what blood rut does.  It drives an alpha insane with blood lust, with the desire to…”

“Does it?” Hanji interrupted.  “The information we have on blood rut comes from incredibly old texts.  It’s a rare condition as it is, and those who were able to study the syndrome back in the day didn’t have the technology available that we do now.  Most of the writings are based largely on theory rather than firsthand knowledge.”

Armin hummed in agreement.

“One thing that _has_ remained constant throughout all of the old texts is that blood rut is fatal, whether the alpha needs to be put out of their misery from going mad, or from fighting to the death.”

“But Eren’s not going to die?” Mikasa questioned.

“Mmm, no,” Hanji smiled again.  “Levi will make sure of that.  He certainly didn’t want to when he left here, but he’ll find he doesn’t have much of a choice.”

“Eren’s not like that!” Mikasa stood abruptly, grey eyes flashing in anger.

Hanji only laughed, waving her off.

“Of course he’s not.  I know that, you know that, even Levi knows it.  Eren wouldn’t lay a hand on him without his express permission.  He’d die first, whether by Levi’s hand or his own.”

“What are you talking about, then?!  What does this mean!?”

“Levi’s biology is changing…has changed, for one reason or another.  And it’s changed to accommodate Eren’s dynamic.  He’s going through his first heat.  He’s confused, and frightened, and preeeettttty horny.”

“I cannot deal with this.  I do not want to know this,” Jean whined, covering his ears and shutting his one good eye.

“He’s in pain, and the object of his affections is right there.  He may be a tough nut to crack, but crack he will!”

“Somebody please stab me in the brain!”

“That’s awfully manipulative,” Mikasa glared at the scientist.

“It’s brilliant,” Armin blinked blankly, simultaneously disturbed and amazed.  “The safest place for the both of them is at that outpost.  There’s no one there to make Eren feel threatened.  There’s nothing for him to focus on but the captain, and nothing for the captain to focus on but Eren.”

“Exactly!” the brunette laughed.  “Short Stack didn’t even know he was calling for Eren when the heat first hit.  He doesn’t have control of his new pheromones yet.  The way all of the dynamics communicate is similar.  We all use pheromone signatures.  But _how_ we use them varies.  There is a subtlety to omega communication whereas alphas are far more forward.”

“So all the pandemonium a couple of days ago, that was the captain calling to Eren?” Armin asked

“Yes!”

“And we can’t smell our own signatures, only those of others.  So Levi had no control over what he was doing.  He was broadcasting he was in heat without even knowing it.”

“Ah!  My sweet coconut!  You’re so smart!”

Armin blushed.

“So, if they’re…courting,” Jean held back a retch at the idea, “are they aware of it?”

Hanji shook her head.

“Eren isn’t in control of himself when the rut takes him.  I’ve seen it.  His mind is gone and he acts on instinct.  And Levi is too inexperienced to realize what he’s doing.  He’s certainly had…encounters.  He is an adult after all, and he came from the Underground,” she winced before continuing. “But courting?  I know that he’s never done it.  Not from the alpha side of things, and certainly not from the omega.”

“When Levi was trying to distract Eren he told us not to look back no matter what we heard,” Mikasa said.  “What did he mean?”

“He fully expected Eren to rape him.  He didn’t want you to see it.”

“Squad Leader!”

“That’s the truth of it.  Levi would have dealt with it.  He’s dealt with much worse, I assure you.  The warning was for your benefit, not his.  Would you have been able to handle witnessing Eren doing that?”

The trio solemnly shook their heads, all of them grasping their stomachs in an attempt to calm themselves.

“I understand that this is hard for all of you,” the doctor said, suddenly somber, “but this is harder for them.  Eren knew he wasn’t safe around any of us, and Levi was too weak to defend himself.  It was dangerous for him here.  Erwin chose the best course of action by sending them both away.”

“So, things should return to normal if they…” Armin gestured vaguely.

“Fuck, Armin!  If they fuck!  Jesus Christ!  You’re almost twenty!  Just say the words!” Jean exploded.

“Shut up, horseface!” Armin shot back.

“HA!” a sharp burst of laughter escaped Mikasa, surprising all of them.  She coughed and muttered “Sorry,” though she didn’t look very apologetic.

“This should bother you more than anybody!” Jean pointed at her.  “As for me, I’m probably never gonna sleep again, thinking about that asshole _tied to our captain_!”

“Why would you think about that?!” Armin tugged at his own hair, trying to banish the image from his brain.

“HOW CAN YOU NOT!?  WE KNOW TOO MUCH!” the ash blonde shrieked as he threw his hands in the air.

“Squad Leader Hanji, I sincerely apologize for my disobedience.  I regret my decision and take full responsibility for my actions,” Mikasa blathered, a strange expression taking over her face.

“You’re picturing it, aren’t you?” Hanji snorted.

The ravenette nodded, eyes wide.

“Can’t unsee it, can you?”

Mikasa shook her head, blinking once.

“Remember this the next time you think you need to chase after Eren against orders.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Dismissed!”


	17. Sharp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're so close, I swear. It was almost this chapter, but it didn't feel quite right.

Dinner was a quiet affair.  Levi remained in his room while Eren cooked, only emerging when he had been called upon.  He had managed to don a loose t-shirt and some boxers for the time being, though he did pull at the material of his garments intermittently while he sat.  One arm remained curled around his torso while he ate, and though he tried, he could not disguise his flinching from Eren who watched him constantly.

“Stop staring.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

The brunette ducked his head at the admonishment, eating a few bites of stew before peering at Levi through his hair.  Grey irises were already awaiting his gaze, stormy and glaring, and it made the boy drop his sight back to his food.

“Hanji sent some things along that might help you, if you want them,” Eren muttered, not daring to look up again.

“Eh?  What did Shitty Glasses pack away?”

“Some herbs for your tea.  There’s also a bag that has some stuff in it.  Dunno what it is, though.”

Levi hummed a bit, breath hitching as another cramp caused his abs to contract.  It was Eren’s turn to flinch then, his fingers curling around his spoon, bending the handle.  He couldn’t stand to see Levi this way, suffering and in pain.  But the captain was also very clearly not ready to discuss the obvious solution available to him.

“Oi, what’re you doing you shitty brat?  You’re going to bend that spoon in half.”

The boy released the utensil, dropping his hands to his lap and mumbling an apology.  He wasn’t hungry anymore.  What he was was tired, frustrated, and scared.  Every minute he spent around the raven was another that brought him closer to madness.  He felt himself slipping, but it wasn’t a marked descent.  It was far more insidious, brought about by thoughts of taking the older man in the lewdest ways possible.  Taking him apart piece by piece until he begged for mercy.  For completion.

It made Eren nauseous.

“Levi,” the boy murmured, eyes still downcast. “I need you to promise me something.”

“Promises aren’t something that can be made in this world, kid.”

“This one is,” Eren said, resolute.  He stared into steel orbs before continuing, voice steady. "If I turn and try to hurt you, I need you to kill me.”

An onyx eyebrow raised, appraising the younger male, and it took a moment before the raven responded, “Do you want to die?”

“No.  But I’m going to, one way or the other.  And if I’m going to die, I don’t want to leave this earth being marked as the one thing I’ve been trying to prove I’m not.”

The captain pushed his bowl away from himself, tipping his head as he considered the boy’s words.  Levi, of course, wanted to continue to believe that Eren was no more than a foolish child. That he was as naïve and brash as when he had first joined the Corps.  But the truth of the matter was that Eren had not been a boy for some time.  He had grown into a fine young man.  One worthy of Levi’s attention, no matter how discreet he had been about it.

Levi sighed then, tongue drawing along his teeth as he leaned forward to rest his forearms atop the kitchen table.  His eyes held Eren’s, searching those mossy depths for only a moment before he began speaking.

“How many times have you changed, Eren?  Within close range of me?”

Eren wrinkled his nose as he thought about and said, “I don’t know?  Two, maybe three?”

Levi nodded in the affirmative, his own voice casual, almost flippant when he replied, “And have you ever laid a hand on me?”

The brunette swallowed thickly, shaking his head.

“No, sir.”

“And I told you, did I not, that you didn’t cause the bruises you saw?”

“You did, sir.”

Levi frowned.

“I also believe I told you to stop calling me that when we’re alone.”

“Sorry, I….”

The raven just waved it off, sighing again.

“Your blood rut has had ample opportunity to sate itself.  Nothing of the sort has happened.  That means two things,” the captain held up two fingers, making sure that he had the boy’s attention before continuing.  “Either you’re not in blood rut, or blood rut doesn’t mean what we think it does.”  

“Even so,” Eren began, frowning, “I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I had done that.  Not to anybody.  Especially not to you.  So please, Levi.  _Please_ , promise me you’ll do what you have to to stop me if it comes to that.”

Levi clicked his tongue and shook his head, exasperated.

“You’re a stubborn little shit.”

“Yeah, I am.  It’s kept me alive, though.”

The captain couldn’t hold back his chuckle at that, running his fingers through his hair.

“If that’s what you really want, then I’ll do it.”

The brunette only offered a gentle, sorrowful smile.  It wasn’t a matter of want, but of necessity. 

Levi stood, eye twitching as a twinge of pain ran up his spine.  He excused himself to bed, stopping to take a last look at the brooding boy who sat at the table.  A soft huff of breath escaped him, his other arm coming up so he could hug himself as he just stared at the young soldier.

“Tu ne me blesserais jamais.”

“Huh?”

“Tu ne me blesserais jamais.  Tu m'aimes.  Bonne nuit, Eren.”

* * *

Levi laid in bed for what felt like hours, tossing and turning, groaning intermittently.  He tried to keep himself quiet, but the cramps were worsening.  They no longer plagued his stomach alone, but his lower back, his hips, all along the muscles of his spine.  He was feverish yet again and though the desperation to orgasm had returned, his mind had settled on how utterly _alone_ he felt.  His bed was too big, too empty, and he needed someone to fill it.  He tried using one of the gauze pads to soothe his aches, finding that they were still saturated with the scent he craved, but there was no relief.  He choked back a sob, a combination of pain and frustration.  He was Humanity’s Strongest for fuck’s sake!  A few cramps shouldn’t have been enough to reduce him to writhing in agony in his bed.

“Levi?” a soft voice followed three equally soft knocks on the door. 

“Come in,” the raven ground out, trying to unfurl himself from the fetal position before Eren could see.

The younger male entered, head bowed as he gingerly offered a saucer that balanced a teacup upon it.

“I brought you some herbal tea.  Hanji said it would help with the muscle cramps.”

Levi wasn’t up for arguing, his muscles twitching and contracting even as Eren spoke.  He reached for the teacup, taking it carefully by the rim and downing it all at once.  He didn’t even care that he had burned his tongue.

“Are you alright?” the brunette queried, a cautious hand reaching up to push sweaty bangs out of the captain’s eyes.  His breath hitched when Levi met his gaze.

“What?  What is it?”

Eren shook his head, blinking rapidly responding with a gentle, “Nothing.  It’s nothing.  I’m just tired.”

The brunette was a terrible liar, but Levi was in too much pain and far too tired to call him on it.  He merely offered a cursory thank you before laying back down, leaving Eren to see himself out.  The boy left without complaint, but something niggled in the back of Levi’s mind, wondering what he had seen.  His questions soon became immaterial, however, as the herbs in the tea settled his previously quivering muscles, allowing him to fall into a sedated rest.

* * *

Once out of Levi’s room Eren hurriedly headed into his own.  He huddled up on his bed, knees hugged to his chest, chin resting on top.  He couldn’t stop the tremors that had begun to shake his body, tears welling up in his eyes.  The captain had asked him what he had seen and Eren had lied to him.  Lied to someone he loved and respected.  But he didn’t know what else to do.

Platinum irises had fallen on him, their color brighter than normal, glowing, as he had been told his own did when the rut took him.  That beautiful stare, usually darkened to the shade of thunderheads, had shaken him.  It simultaneously called to him and repelled him.  Something in that gaze was undeniably meant for him but he didn’t understand what it was.  It was primal, visceral, and the rut had wanted to take over once he had noticed.  The brunette had beaten it back…barely.

Eren didn’t know how much longer he had left.  How much more time he had before he attempted the unthinkable.  But there was nothing for him to do except wait.  Nothing to do but hope that Levi kept his promise if he transformed into something he couldn’t bear to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tu ne me blesserais jamais - You would never hurt me  
> Tu ne me blesserais jamais. Tu m'aimes. Bonne nuit, Eren - You would never hurt me. You love me. Good night, Eren.


	18. Connect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really happy with this chapter. Like, super, incredibly happy.

Eren could only stay awake for so long.  He finally succumbed to sleep after three hours of shivering and crying in silence.  Well, he didn’t so much fall asleep as pass out, but the fact remained that the boy lost consciousness.  His rest was unsurprisingly fitful and short lived, the creaking of his door opening startling him awake.  He was immediately put on guard, a low growl rumbling in his throat, hands itching to reach for the knife he had hidden beneath his pillow.

A shadowed figure stood in the entrance, small and slightly hunched, and it wasn’t until subtly glowing eyes found him that he realized who it was.  He exhaled in a rush, his heart steadily slowing as he took in Levi who watched him from the doorway.

His nostrils flared as he inhaled before blowing out the odor as quickly as he had taken it in.  The raven’s scent had changed again, and it was far more intoxicating, far more enticing.  Cardamom and anise had become a lingering background scent to a much stronger essence of cinnamon, honey, and something sharp that the boy couldn’t quite place.  He only knew that he felt a desperate need to escape, knowing what would come if he remained in the same room, shared the same air too much longer.

“Eren,” Levi’s voice wafted towards his ear, low and enticing.  The man was moving towards him, pinning him down with that piercing ethereal stare.

He had no voice to warn Levi away.  No words to tell him to leave while he could.  And it all stopped mattering when Levi crawled into his bed and straddled him, looking down at him with a gaze that was far too sinful to belong to Levi.  He was naked once more, his body clammy with sweat and flushed with fever.  The smaller male shivered atop him, bending down to lightly rub his jaw along the brunette’s.  His head dipped lower still until he reached a scent gland, his tongue flicking out to lick at it.

“Tu as si bon goût…”

“Levi…” Eren grit his teeth, goosebumps raising on his flesh.  He was going to lose control.  Felt the rut creeping up on him.  What did his captain think he was doing?

“Tu es si beau…”

The brunette had enough control of himself to flip the raven beneath him, pinning his arms above his head.  To his surprise, Levi didn’t struggle.  He went limp and pliant beneath the larger male, eyes heavy lidded with desire.

“Tu ne me veux pas?” Levi asked, his foot drawing up along Eren’s broad thigh, teasing the skin with his toes. “J'ai tellement envie de toi,” he sighed, leaning up to mouth at the taut sinews of Eren’s throat.

Eren couldn’t find it in himself to push Levi away, but he didn’t encourage him to continue either.  He only began carding his fingers through sweat dampened strands, watching his fingers disappear into silken midnight over and over again.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

He hunched over then, a sharp cry escaping him as his muscles went into spasm.  He bared his teeth and clutched onto Levi as tightly as he could, sobbing once before everything went dark.

* * *

Glowing green illuminated Levi’s pale chest and he swore he could feel the warmth from the light of those brilliant hues.  When those eyes fell on his face the raven found himself reaching up to push chocolate locks away so he could view them better.

“Hey, kid,” he breathed out against Eren’s jaw.  “You’re not in there, are you?”

He knew that whatever was staring at him wasn’t Eren…but it was Eren.  He wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with that knowledge, but he knew he wasn’t afraid of it the way he had been after the fight with Mikasa.  The rut had control of the boy most assuredly, but it wasn’t the malicious entity they'd all believed it to be.

The question was, why?

But Levi didn’t have the luxury of time being on his side, or Eren’s.  Every time the boy changed he was brought closer to death.  Every time the boy changed, Levi was forced to acknowledge that he would soon lose something precious if he didn’t make a choice.  Of course, the idea that he had a choice at all seemed laughable to him.  He was being forced into dealing with his feelings.  There was a part of him that was well aware that if Eren died, he himself wouldn’t survive.  At least not metaphorically.  Though he did have concerns that it might well be in the literal sense.

The raven was aware he was changing again.  How, he wasn’t sure, but he was.  He didn’t remember getting up from his bed.  Wasn’t sure how he had ended up beneath Eren with…whatever it was, staring down at him.  But he understood that whatever had a hold on Eren had also laid claim to him.

A pale hand reached up to stroke along Eren’s cheek and the boy nuzzled his face into the small palm before his forehead dropped to press to Levi’s.  The gesture was intimate, a strangely heavy fragility surrounding it.  Grey eyes closed after green ones hid themselves behind thin lids, Levi’s fingers scratching at the hairs along Eren’s nape.  It all made Levi afraid to breathe.

When he next opened his eyes he found he was being stared at.  The gaze was soft and fond, and Levi found himself being drawn to it.  The pull was undeniable and inescapable, and in the span of a few seconds his lips found Eren’s.  They were slightly chapped, yet remarkably soft, and Eren was so warm, so welcoming.  He felt like home.

The kiss was deep, but brief, the brunette pulling away before the raven did.  It left the smaller male feeling bereft and he had to tamp down the urge to chase after his mouth.  He laughed inwardly as he realized that for all Eren had been worried about taking advantage of him, he was the one taking advantage of Eren.

It was funny in a sickening sort of way.

“Are you in there, Eren?” he asked, hands cupping cheeks that were rough with stubble.  “Do you understand…that I love you?”

The response he received was a deep rumble followed by Eren’s throat pressing against his, rubbing their scent glands together with great care.

Levi tucked himself against Eren’s chest, then.  It was a space he had become quite familiar with in the last couple days, and it was comforting to be there, even if Eren wasn’t fully present for it.  He huddled himself as closely as possible, relaxing into the boy’s strong arms when they surrounded him, and drifted off to sleep with a tearful, “I’m sorry,” on his lips.

* * *

Levi woke before Eren, blinking in confusion when his first sight of the morning was not light filtering in through an open window, but a wall of tan muscle.  It took only a moment before his brain caught up to the memories of what had transpired during the night.  His body went rigid with the realization and he tried to extricate himself from Eren’s grip only to be grasped tighter.

“Stop it,” Eren spoke, his voice rough with sleep.  “Just sleep a little longer.”

_Let me hold you._

“We need to get up…we have to talk,” Levi replied, voice tight.  Even as he said it he was settling back down.

“We have all day to talk.  Stay here for a little while.”

_Let me have this._

Levi couldn’t argue against Eren’s warmth, against the careful hold he had around his waist.  Not with the tingle of his kiss still on his lips.  A kiss Eren didn’t even know they had shared.  The guilt hit him full force and his fingers automatically clenched around Eren’s hand.

“Yeah, ok.”

_Don’t let go._

* * *

They didn’t rise for another two hours, drifting between wakefulness and gentle dozing.  Every time Eren woke he found himself gently pulling his fingers through Levi’s hair or stroking down the scarred flesh of his back, taking in every beautiful imperfection.  He savored the dips of his spine and the gnarled silver and pink lines that streaked pale skin.

When Levi found himself awake while Eren snoozed, he traced his thumb along the brunette’s jaw and over his cheekbone.  Watched silently as the boy slept, pink lips parted.  He couldn’t even find it in himself to be disgusted by the small trail of drool that slipped out of the corner of Eren’s mouth.  He was too enamored by the peace that was etched into his features.

Eventually they found themselves awake at the same time, facing each other with eyelids that were drooping in exhaustion.  Neither moved, just watched, Eren’s thumb sliding over the jut of Levi’s hip, Levi’s palm cupping Eren’s jaw.

“I lied to you,” Eren said suddenly, so quietly it almost went unheard.

Levi remained silent, waiting for him to continue.

“Your eyes…they looked like mine.”

“What do you mean?”

“They glowed.  Not as brightly, but…they glowed.  And they were so beautiful.  I wanted…wanted to…”

“You didn’t do anything, Eren.”

“No,” he answered, pulling Levi against him even tighter.  “But you…you came in here.  And you were speaking, but it wasn’t anything I understood.  I know you’re telling me things when you speak that way, even though I can’t understand.  But this was different.  You were like me when…”

“When the rut takes over,” Levi finished for him.  He knew that was why he was missing a large block of time from his memory.

“It scared me,” Eren confessed, fingers twitching against the raven’s lower back.

“I kissed you,” Levi said, his admission hanging heavy in the air.

“What?  No you didn’t.”

“I did,” he spoke into Eren’s chest.  “You changed.  I don’t know when, but when I woke up, you…weren’t in there.  You’ve spent so much time worrying about what you might do to me, and I…”

Eren didn’t wait for Levi to finish, rolling on top of the smaller man to cover his body with his own.  He didn’t touch, didn’t let his weight settle, but he looked down at Levi with eyes that were so earnest and full of hope that Levi swore he felt his heart physically shatter.

“Tell me what you want,” the boy spoke.  It was a demand, not a request.

“Je veux…”

“No!  No, you can’t do that!  Not now!  Levi, tell me what you want.  Let me understand.”

_Tell me you need me._

Levi’s eyes widened, startled by the force Eren was displaying.  It wasn’t frightening, though it did make his stomach flip in strange ways that weren’t wholly unpleasant.

The raven shook beneath the brunette, his legs pulling up to rest alongside Eren’s hips, cradling him there, inviting him in.

“Love me,” Levi spoke, voice hushed, fingers tangling in Eren’s hair.  “Just love me.”

_Love us._

Eren’s Adam’s apple bobbed heavily as he swallowed.  He stared into ice grey, shoulders trembling as he willed himself to hold back his tears, trying to keep the dam from bursting.

_Beautiful omega._

“I already do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tu as si bon goût… - You taste so good...  
> Tu es si beau… - You're so beautiful...  
> Tu ne me veux pas? - Do you want me?  
> J'ai tellement envie de toi - I want you so much


	19. Screech

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is rough. Seriously...they do the thing, but it may make some of you uncomfortable. I'm really happy with how it turned out, as this is what I've had in mind since chapter one, but it's harsh.

Eren only allowed himself a moment of hesitation before dipping his head to brush his mouth against Levi’s.  The captain leaned up to meet him, tasting salt on his tongue.  Tears that Eren had valiantly tried to hold back.  Levi normally would have teased the brunette, called him a sentimental fool.  But now wasn’t the time.  Not when his name was on Eren’s lips, spoken like a prayer.  Not when gentle hands held him as if he were something precious.

It was a strange thing to Levi, being underneath another person in this fashion.  He was used to being in control, exerting his will and dominance over others.  There was a part of him, and it wasn’t a particularly small part, that still wanted to do that to Eren.  And yet he couldn’t bring himself to do so.  Perhaps it was because Eren wasn’t forcing Levi to submit to him.  It was a choice Levi had made on his own.

When Eren made to move away Levi whined in the back of his throat, pulling the boy back down to kiss him more deeply.  The kiss was still remarkably gentle considering how desperate he felt, how hungry.  The idea of separating from Eren was physically painful and he felt a sharp twinge in his chest at the thought.  He only wanted the boy closer, closer, closer.

“Levi,” Eren exhaled against his mouth. “Levi, we have to stop.”

“But it hurts.  Eren, it hurts,” the raven gasped, curling his fingers into brown locks more tightly.

“I know.  I know it does, but we can’t…”

“Arrête ça! S'il te plait!”

“Levi…”

“Eren, _please_!” Levi stared up at him, eyes shimmering with tears.  He was really over all the crying, but he hadn’t felt such desperation since his time in the Underground.  “Please, I can’t anymore.  It _hurts_!”

“But we don’t even know if you…”

“I don’t care!  I don’t fucking care!”

Levi was growing hysterical, his scent turning sour before transforming to something that smelled burnt.  Fear and pain.  Eren kissed his sweat slicked temple and crooned to him softly, making sure that every inch of the captain was pressed to his body.  Seeing him fall apart in such a way tore Eren up from the inside out.  It was a stark reminder of the raven’s humanity, the fragility he hid away from the world.

Slowly Levi began to settle, though his breath still hitched as he tried to stop his tears.  He was horrifically embarrassed, hiding his face in Eren’s neck, thighs gripping tightly to Eren’s waist.  There was a brief moment where he rutted against the boy’s bare stomach on instinct, but he stopped himself when Eren’s voice reached him, hushing him gently.

“Rules,” the brunette rasped.  “If we’re going to…we need rules.”

Levi only had one.  One that he knew would hurt Eren.  But that couldn’t be helped.  Both of them would have to be satisfied with what Levi was able to offer in the moment.

“All I ask is that you don’t bond me.”

Eren went stiff, breath catching in his throat, but he nodded in agreement anyway.

“I don’t know that I can keep control of myself.  Will you keep your promise if I get too rough?”

Levi worried at his bottom lip with his teeth before agreeing with a soft, “Yes,” his arms looping around Eren’s neck as he was lowered back to the mattress.

“This probably isn’t going to last long.”

“That’s not unexpected,” Levi replied, a hint of a smirk on his lips.

“Mean,” Eren laughed lightly before connecting their mouths again, coaxing Levi onto his belly shortly after.

The brunette tugged at Levi’s hips, encouraging him to raise his ass, though he was met with some resistance.  It was frustrating, but Eren supposed it was to be expected.

“Relax.  Just trust me,” he intoned softly, peppering kisses along the raven’s spine.

“I’m trying.  I just…things are conflicting.”

Eren hummed his acknowledgement, wincing slightly as he fought back the instinct to just take.  He already knew that the rut was going to take over, whether he wanted it to or not.  Its presence was looming in his consciousness, hissing at him to fuck the smaller male into the mattress.  All he could do was hope that Levi settled before he lost his composure.

Levi had his face pressed into the sheets and he willed himself to calm down, focusing on the way Eren’s hands skimmed over his ribcage, how his lips pressed to the skin of his back.  He could feel himself dripping, slick winding its way down his thighs, and he instinctively dropped his hips and spread his legs wider.  Eren’s deep moan let him know that the position was greatly appreciated.

“You ready?” the brunette asked, hands squeezing Levi’s waist.

“What?!  No!  Prep is a thing, Eren!” the raven growled, twitching in the boy’s grip.

“It’s really not necessary,” the brunette responded, voice sounding a bit smug.

“The fuck it’s not!” Levi growled, lip curling up to reveal a sharp canine.  “The hell if I’ll let you stick your dick in my ass without—FUCK!” he finished with a startled yelp.  His hips jerked forward and suddenly he was rutting against the mattress, mouth agape as he gasped and tried to claw his way out of Eren’s grasp.

“Calm down,” Eren spoke, his voice dropping to a lower timbre.  It was unlike anything Levi had ever heard from him before.  Commanding and soothing all at once.  The voice of an alpha taking charge.

“What are you doing?” Levi gasped, trying to catch his breath.

“I’m three fingers deep in your ass right now.  Do you still think you need prep?” the boy queried, curling his fingers and grinning when the raven cried out again.

“Jesus fucking hell!”

Levi was panting, in a state of desperation and in search of completion.  One of his feet kicked out behind him and caught Eren in the thigh, but the brunette didn’t think anything of it.  He only curled his fingers again, watching Levi writhe beneath him.

“God, I’m gonna come if you keep doing that,” the raven moaned.

“You won’t.”

Levi whimpered, pushing back against the intrusion of Eren’s fingers, but as quickly as the sensation had started, it disappeared.  The raven’s whimper transformed into a deep groan of frustration, and he turned his head just in time to see Eren’s tongue flick out along his fingers.  He wanted to feel disgusted, but his cock jerked and he felt himself clench around nothing.

“By the three walls, Eren, _do something_ ,” the prone male growled, dropping his face into a pillow.  His toes flexed into the sheets and he tried to shove himself backwards again but he was halted by hands on his waist.  He froze, warm breath puffing against his back as Eren panted softly against his skin.  The gentle draft moved down, down, down until he felt the brunette huffing against his entrance.

A rumble rolled through Eren’s chest, followed by a sweet croon, and Levi felt something warm and wet graze against him.  He jerked forward but was tugged back rather roughly, the wet softness returning to lap at him experimentally.

“E-Eren! That’s…that’s so…,” Levi stuttered.  He couldn’t finish what he was going to say.  Not when it felt so sinfully delicious.  He dared to look back once more, inhaling sharply when he saw green eyes aglow like lantern light. 

The rut had won out.

The raven’s heart crawled up his throat, but he swallowed the fear down as quickly as he could.  He couldn’t control his scent, however, and watched as the brunette’s nose wrinkled.  The large male leaned down to rub his scent glands over Levi’s ribcage, working his way up towards Levi’s head.  He stopped when his chin was hooked over the smaller’s shoulder, breath shuddering in a porcelain ear.

Levi’s hips shifted restlessly and he felt Eren press his weight down more insistently, noted the nudge of his cock against his ass.  It wouldn’t take much for the boy to end up where he wanted, but he made no attempt to do so.  He had the captain pinned, yes, but he was waiting for something.  What was it?

A rough huff blew across Levi’s flushed cheeks, the mattress shifting as Eren adjusted behind him.  There was another gentle thrust of his hips, but he offered nothing else.  Levi rocked back and Eren responded by pressing forward.  The raven repeated the action and Eren ground into him more forcefully. 

Permission?  Was he actually waiting for Levi to say yes?

A tremoring hand raised off the bed, delicate fingers sliding into messy hair.  Eren whined softly, leaning into the touch, another croon winding its way through the air.  The pair moved against each other slowly, testing the waters, waiting for the tension to ease.  Something heavy settled in Levi’s chest, twisting and pulling at his insides.  Acceptance.  There was a part of him that knew what was happening was too easy, that it wasn’t going to be as straightforward as he wanted it to be.  Somehow he was ok with that.

With a final sigh he tipped his head up and to the side, his temple pressing to Eren’s cheek as he said, “Take me.”

And Eren did.  It took only a moment for the brunette to take his cock in hand and sink himself into Levi.  It was swift and without fuss.  Things became a blur for Levi after that, Eren thrusting forward wildly and Levi yelping, twisting to try and bite at him.  The boy pulled his head back to avoid the swipe of Levi’s hand, a fierce bite placed on one of his shoulders shortly thereafter.  He tried to lap at the wound but Levi struck at him again, and he quickly dropped the full weight of his chest onto Levi’s small frame, forcing him downwards.

Levi growled and spat, struggling beneath Eren’s bulk, but there was nothing he could do.  He yowled as Eren bit into his other shoulder, snarling viciously as blood dripped down his arms.  Just as quickly as the boy had bitten, he soothed the bites with his tongue, the movement of his hips unceasing.  He groaned and hunched forward, tan skin already glistening with sweat as he battered his way deeper, seeking his ultimate completion.

The raven quickly forgot about the bites.  Every buck of Eren’s hips hit his hypersensitive prostate, and he wailed like a cat in heat as it was assaulted.  He felt fairly sure that he was going to pass out from the overstimulation.  He snarled and hissed again, briefly stilling when he felt something thick and round forcing its way inside him.

Eren’s knot.

_Take, alpha!  Take and tie!  Yours, yours, yours!_

Levi quit trying to squirm away then, instead attempting to shove his hips back and take the rest of Eren’s length in.  He wanted it.  He wanted it so damn badly he could taste it, was vibrating with the need to finally finish.  Days of torture would finally end!

Or so he thought.

With a violent shove Eren’s knot breached Levi, and as quickly as he tied him, he seized Levi’s wrists and crossed his arms over his chest, rolling onto his side and tucking the captain into his chest.  His legs moved equally fast, tangling around a narrow waist and squeezing just in time to feel the smaller male seize up and scream.

The tie triggered Levi’s orgasm, but it wasn’t the sweet relief he had been expecting.  It was pain.  Excruciating pain he hadn’t thought humanly possible.  It felt as if a sharp current was racing up his spine, something made of both fire and frost.  It flared outwards towards his fingertips and toes, swelled and twisted in his groin as he exploded.  He squealed and tried to break away, but Eren held him fast in an iron grip, his own body startlingly still.

The raven felt the brunette’s cock pulse and twitch inside him, but it barely registered that Eren was coming too.  He was too preoccupied with the way he kept spurting.  The way he tried to take in air, his lungs refusing to cooperate.  He tried to lift his hips and bow his back, but he couldn’t escape the boy’s grasp.  All Levi could do was curl his fingers and screech, praying for it to stop. 

A sharp bite to the back of his neck didn’t silence him, but it did force his muscles to relax, his voice dropping to a level of choked sobs.  Eren had him in a stasis hold.  And unlike the bites placed on his shoulder blades, Eren didn’t relinquish his grip.  He held Levi’s nape between his teeth, let the blood run over his tongue and out the side of his mouth, the captain’s body still held against his chest.  Levi continued to spasm and seize, abdomen contracting painfully, toes twitching against Eren’s calf.  Tears soaked the sheets beneath his face, his breathing a wet rattle as mucus shook in his lungs.

Levi wasn’t sure how long it lasted.  A minute perhaps, maybe more.  When his orgasm finally halted, the last of his seed lazily dripping down his cock, he took in the deepest breath he could muster, trembling arms pulling against the bonds of Eren’s hands.  Thick fingers released him, his arms moving to wind around Levi’s chest, one large palm pressed over the captain’s hammering heart.

He hiccupped, waiting for his tears to stop, something hazy in his mind telling him that he should feel betrayed, angry.  But he didn’t feel any of that.  He actually felt strangely safe.  Eren had kept him safe, prevented him from hurting himself.  The _rut_ had kept him safe.  He didn’t understand it, but he knew it to be true all the same.  It was instinctual.

Eren’s cock continued to twitch and throb, signifying that he wasn’t done yet.  Levi felt disturbingly pleased with that fact, even as uncontrollable shuddering wracked his body. The gentle drag of the brunette’s tongue over the marks on his nape soothed Levi, if only minutely, and his soft crooning lulled the raven closer to sleep, exhaustion weighing down his eyelids. 

The flex of Eren’s hips against his backside was distracting, the tug of the knot forcing him to constrict around the thick length, but Levi couldn’t find it in himself to care.  He was covered in come, but he was also drowning in the scent of Eren.  He was safe, secure, well cared for.  He was in pain, but it was of a strange sort.  Something he welcomed wholeheartedly, a tingling warmth overtaking him as Eren continued to rock forward.

Nothing about what happened made sense, but to Levi, it didn’t matter.

It felt right.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arrête ça! S'il te plait! - Make it stop! Please!


	20. Glow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look! More porn! And a lot of French (that will probably need to be corrected)!

Eren came to slowly, the scent of blood heavy in his nose and a small body cradled against his own.  He tasted iron on his tongue, noted the bite wounds on the raven’s back.  What had he done!?  His eyes went wide and he felt himself beginning to panic, something deep within him fearing that he had killed Levi, retribution for perceived disobedience while the rut had been in charge.  Tears welled up in eyes dull with exhaustion and he made to move away, wincing and whining when he realized he and the captain were still tied.

Deep seated fear quickly morphed into unabashed lust, tan cheeks heating crimson when Levi moaned and scooted back against him, settling back down to release a most undignified snore.  Well, it seemed Levi wasn’t terribly put out by the situation.  If the brunette really considered it, this was probably the deepest sleep his counterpart had achieved since arriving at the outpost.  Though Eren felt relief with such a realization, he couldn’t shake his feelings of guilt as he stared at the marks he’d left.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.  He seemed to be saying that a lot lately.  But then, it also seemed he constantly had something to apologize for.

Levi stirred against him, pulling one of Eren’s hands tighter against his belly while he mumbled, “Encore une fois, alpha.”

The following snore, deeper than the one before, cued Eren that the raven was most assuredly still passed out.  Though he wouldn’t dare admit it to Levi he thought it was pretty damn adorable the smaller talked in his sleep.  Eren didn’t understand what he was saying, but it didn’t much matter when he was shoving his ass into the larger male’s groin and clutching his hand so tightly.

Alas, all good things must come to an end, and within a few minutes of waking Eren felt his knot shrinking.  He removed himself with a semi disappointed sigh on his lips, a strange sense of loss overwhelming him.  Apparently he wasn’t the only one who felt that way, as no sooner had he separated from Levi that he found himself flat on his back with the captain atop him.

“Où vas-tu?” came the deep tenor.  The question demanded an answer, but the words were clearly etched with fear.

Levi’s eyes were lit up, a stark ice blue in comparison to his normally subdued grey.  His thighs were wet with a combination of slick and semen that ended up smeared along Eren’s sides, more of the latter leaking onto his belly, but the younger ignored it.  He was too caught up in starlit irises.  A violent shake of his head brought him back to his senses, though he wondered if Levi was still with him.

“Levi?”

“Où vas-tu?” Levi asked again. “Ne me quitte pas, Eren.”

Eren lifted his hands to slide his fingertips along the sides of Levi’s undercut, thumbs rubbing circles along the elder’s temples.  He swallowed once, eyes still searching the raven’s face for any sign of recognition.

“Levi?  Do you…can you understand me?”

“Oui…yes…” he sighed.  “Je me sens si vide.  Remplis-moi.”

“I don’t understand.  Levi, you...I don’t…”

The raven took mercy on the boy, leaning forward to brush his lips against the shell of his ear.  His voice was husky and hoarse from his earlier screaming, though it was no less sensual when he said, “I want you to fuck me.”

A violent shiver coursed over Eren’s skin, hips involuntarily bucking upwards as he considered whether or not fulfilling Levi’s request was wise.  It was certainly what he wanted, but that didn’t make it a good idea.  The captain clearly had wounds that needed tending to, and with his eyes painting cool blue across his darkened skin, Eren couldn’t help but wonder how in control Levi really was.

“As-tu vraiment besoin de réfléchir, alpha?  I’m perfectly lucid,” Levi purred, rolling his hips against the brunette’s abdomen.  He was already hard again.

“You’re covered in come.  Don’t you want to bathe?” Eren queried.  He actually didn’t mind at all.  Though the blood disturbed him minutely, it was more because he wanted to care for his omega, instincts begging to be sated by cleaning him up.  The knowledge that Levi was smeared with crusted over jizz only aroused him.  He made the inquiry simply because he knew that the smaller hated to be dirty, and he was most certainly dirty at present.

Levi snorted at Eren’s question, taking to licking at one of his scent glands, teeth scraping lightly over the hypersensitive flesh.  The idea of washing alpha’s scent away was absolutely abhorrent to him.  He wanted to be smothered in Eren’s smell, enveloped in it.  He didn’t want anybody to be able to tell the difference between the two of them.

“Such a brat,” he rumbled, removing Eren’s hands from his hair to place them on his hips.  “Ne me fais pas attendre, take care of me.”

_Complete us._

Eren closed his eyes, inhaling deeply as the now familiar scent curled in his nostrils.  Cardamom and anise, cinnamon, something on the edge of sweet.  It was otherworldly and clearly meant to entice him to do the omega’s bidding.

_He needs us._

“Alright,” the brunette exhaled, sitting up.  Warm breath fluttered over the sharp jut of Levi’s collarbone.  The press of his lips followed immediately after, sucking bruises into the pale flesh, his fingertips digging into Levi’s lower back.

“Hurry up,” Levi whined, a hand reaching back to grab at Eren’s rapidly hardening dick.

“No,” Eren replied softly, a gentle hand grabbing Levi’s wrist.  “My way this time.”

“It was your way last time, you little shit,” came the grumbled response, though there was no ire in Levi’s tone.

“It was the rut’s way last time,” Eren huffed, claiming the raven’s lips in a light kiss.  “Let _me_ have you, Levi.”

Something about Eren’s request struck Levi dumb.  He didn’t go slack jawed, didn’t stiffen, his ever present mask of neutrality remaining firmly in place.  And yet, it was very clear to Eren that the raven had been caught off guard.  It pleased him immensely.

“Let me make you feel good.  Let me hear you.  Let me love you.”

“Mon dieu, oui,” Levi murmured against Eren’s mouth, unwilling to complain when the brunette rolled them over.

Mossy green stared down into blue glass, a smile tugging at his kiss swollen lips as he simply admired the man beneath him.  His smile turned into a grin at the sudden realization that the rut no longer occupied his consciousness.  He was free of its presence, free of its threat, it’s demand to take.  Eren could take all the time he wanted.

“Oi, what the fuck are you staring at?” Levi snapped at him, shifting uncomfortably under the weight of Eren’s gaze.

“You,” Eren responded simply.  “You’re lovely.  Beautiful.  So damn perfect,” he finished, punctuating each compliment with a kiss.

“I’m not any of those things,” Levi said as he squirmed.

“You are to me.”

Levi opened his mouth to retort, but Eren was looking at him like _that_ again.  Not the way he had when he was 15, as if Levi had hung the moon and stars for all of humanity, but as if he was something to treasure.  Something to keep tucked away and safe, his fragility a sacred secret between the two of them.

“Eren…”

Whatever Levi was going to say was swallowed up in a kiss, the warmth of Eren’s tongue pulling a gasp from him as his mouth dropped open in surprise.  He was certain the boy was going to eat him alive, devour him whole and absorb all his secrets.  He welcomed it.  Relished the thought. Coveted the warmth and the light that Eren brought to his gloomy, miserable struggle of existence.

Eren’s kisses never stopped, his hand resting on Levi’s cheek, holding him in place.  His own breath hitched when he reached between their bodies and took himself in hand again, lining himself up and thrusting forward.  Levi’s low groan and the lift of his hips encouraged him to press deeper, sinking into welcoming warmth, the raven’s thighs tight around his waist.

“Est-ce que tu vas bien, Eren?”

“Give me a minute, I just…I…

“Did you understand me?” Levi questioned, an eyebrow raising.  Not that Eren saw it with his head tucked into Levi’s neck.

“No…just…context,” he gasped.  “You feel so damn good.”

_You feel like you’re mine._

Levi only hummed his response, carding his fingers through tangled brown hair.  He couldn’t resist clenching around Eren’s length, reveling in his resulting moan.

“Are you trying to make me come?” the brunette growled, canting his hips forward.

The raven laughed lightly, bowing his back again as he said, “Non.  That wouldn’t work out well for me at all, would it?”

“Certainly not.”

And then silence befell them.  It was not heavy or uncomfortable, but a gentle quiet that rested over them like a blanket.  It would be easy enough to push away when they were ready, but it was welcome for the time being.  They needed nothing else but the sound of each other’s breath, and the feeling of sweat slicked skin moving against each other.

Each roll of Eren’s hips made Levi feel undeniably euphoric.  It wasn’t the climb towards orgasm that set his nerves alight, it was the simple presence of the boy, the _man_ who loved him so goddamned much he could feel it in the very marrow of his bones.  And each twitch of Levi around Eren’s cock forced him to fall ever deeper into the great abyss he knew to be love.  There was no way to escape from it, and he never wanted to.

“Levi, Levi, Levi…” Eren murmured over and over.  “I love you.  I _love_ you.  I love _you_.”

“Je t'aime.  Je t'aime, je t'aime, je t'aime, mon Eren,” Levi gasped between thrusts, the palms of his hands pressed flat against sweaty shoulder blades, trying to pull the brunette closer. “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Encore une fois, alpha - Again, alpha.  
> Où vas-tu? - Where are you going?  
> Où vas-tu? Ne me quitte pas, Eren - Where are you going? Don't leave me, Eren  
> Oui. Je me sens si vide. Remplis-moi. - Yes. I feel so empty. Fill me.  
> As-tu vraiment besoin de réfléchir, alpha? - Do you really need to think about it, alpha?  
> Ne me fais pas attendre - Don't make me wait  
> Mon dieu, oui - God, yes  
> Est-ce que tu vas bien, Eren? - Are you alright, Eren?  
> Non - No.  
> “Je t'aime. Je t'aime, je t'aime, je t'aime, mon Eren. - I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you, my Eren.


	21. Whisper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sighs*

Eren’s hips stuttered at Levi’s confession, but he didn’t stop moving.  He didn’t drive himself any harder, either, didn’t feel desperation clawing at him as he had previously.  His thrusts did change from a slow drive to a deep grind and he moaned when Levi clamped down around him again.  He raised his head to take in the long line of Levi’s outstretched neck, the raven’s head tipped back to reveal his oil slicked throat.

The urge to bond the smaller male was ever present, but Eren didn’t consider it an option.  Everything was too new, and Levi was wound too tightly.  Eren felt the tension in his body, noted it in his face, lips pinched between his teeth as he tried to hold back tears.  Levi didn’t want the brunette to see him cry.

“It’s ok to cry, Levi,” he spoke gently, pressing open mouthed kisses to a chest flushed red.

“I’m fine,” the raven exhaled sharply, though the words were watery.

Eren pressed deeper, eyebrows drawing upwards when the captain emitted a sharp squeal.

“There?”

The emphatic nod of Levi’s head was enough to keep the brunette pushing into that spot, hips twitching each time Levi jolted beneath him. The raven’s nails scratched at his back and Eren welcomed the sharp sting.  He watched in awe as Levi’s hips raised up, up, up, legs wrapped around Eren’s waist to hold him in place.  It was beyond perfect.  It was so wonderfully satisfying it almost felt wrong. 

Levi couldn’t take it anymore, reaching between them to rapidly jerk himself, using his legs to keep tugging Eren towards him.  It was so goddamn good he was sure his brain was melting.  He wanted to come again.  Fuck, he _needed_ it.

“Juste là! Ne t'arrête pas! There, there, there…!” Levi whined

Eren doubled over with a growl, stilling himself as he felt his knot forming again.  His thighs trembled with the urge to keep thrusting but he ignored the instinct, choosing to watch Levi’s expression as the pressure built from within him.  His mouth was open, tongue visible and pressing against one of his canines, hand flying across his dripping erection. 

Levi’s brows furrowed in concentration and he tipped his hips downwards just enough to create a steady pull against Eren’s knot, and that did it.  He came with a howl, hands scrabbling against Eren’s back, hips bucking to rub the head of his dick against the ridges of Eren’s abs.  It was entirely different from the first time.  Something electric zipped up his spine, his skin feeling momentarily too tight before he was absolutely flying.  He felt his eyes roll back in his head, legs falling from around Eren’s waist so his feet could press into the mattress as he chased more of the beautiful sensation that rolled through him. And then, quick as a cobra, Levi struck, teeth buried just above one of the brunette’s pectoral muscles and beneath his clavicle.

“Ah, SHIT!” Eren yowled, fingers tangling in obsidian strands.  He felt himself pulling, which only made Levi grip tighter.  He was disturbed by how much he liked it, the evidence of such being that he found his own release, pulsing in the raven’s ass and filling him anew with wet warmth.

The smaller male growled in the back of his throat, shook his head once while he held his grip, and then fell back down to the mattress.  His mouth was smeared with Eren’s blood, pupils blown wide.  His fingers twitched spasmodically, one of his legs following suit, knocking his knee against Eren’s ribcage.

It took a couple of minutes for Levi to realize he was being talked to, Eren’s voice gently trying to pull him from the depths of his orgasm.  He sounded concerned, but then, it was Eren, so that wasn’t much of a surprise.  When he looked up, Eren’s face was blurry.  He couldn’t seem to bring it into focus.  A couple of blinks later and his vision cleared, a small sniff following shortly after.

He was fucking crying again.

“Goddamn, it!”

“What?  What is it?” Eren looked him over, concerned he’d been harmed.

“This!” Levi gestured at his face, tears dripping down his cheeks and into his ears.  “What the fuck is this!?”

Eren nuzzled him gently, stroking the back of his neck, though he didn’t grip it.  He spoke between shivers, his own climax still running its course.

“It’s just hormones.  It’s normal.”

It wasn’t just hormones.

“I’m not weak,” Levi growled, searching for somewhere to hide.  There was nowhere.

“I don’t think you’re weak, Levi.”

Eren cautiously lowered himself onto the captain, rolling them over onto their sides.  The position was far more intimate than the way they’d woken up before.  Though they were tied, Eren had concerns that Levi would try to escape, unable to deal with his emotions while the brunette was present.

But Levi moved closer.  He moved closer and threw a leg over Eren’s hip to allow him to better rock forward, trying to muffle his cries against Eren’s throat.

“It’s alright.  Just cry,” Eren soothed, fingers gliding along the raven’s spine.  He pressed a kiss to the crown of Levi’s head, let him shudder against his body, tipped his face up to kiss bloodstained lips. 

_Perfect omega.  All ours._

Levi was undeniably embarrassed.  He wanted to shrink into himself but he couldn’t.  No one was supposed to see him this way.  And yet, there he was, bawling into Eren’s chest as quietly as he could, seeking comfort. 

 _Weak omega_.

“You’re no such thing.”

The captain’s breath caught.  He hadn’t realized he’d spoken aloud.

“You’re not weak, Levi.  You’re just scared,” Eren sighed, though the noise wasn’t borne of annoyance. “I’m scared, too.”

* * *

Neither fell asleep during the second tie.  They laid together in relative silence, Eren dragging his fingers through Levi’s sweaty hair, as had now become habit, and Levi pressing himself so close to Eren the brunette was sure the raven was trying to crawl inside him.  Intermittent assurances were given that Eren wasn’t going anywhere and Levi told him to “shut the fuck up” each time, but the boy could only smile when Levi reflexively nuzzled him.

When they separated for the second time, Eren moved to get off the bed.  He was met with the same worried look as the first time, Levi’s fingers wrapped around his wrist, probably more tightly than he had intended.

“Hey, it’s ok.  I’m just going to draw us a bath.”

Levi actually wrinkled his nose, though he wasn’t aware of it.  The idea of washing everything away agitated him and he shifted on his knees, clearly uncomfortable with the idea.

Eren took the raven’s free hand and brought it up to his lips to kiss his knuckles, stroking the back of a wrist much more delicate than his own.  He spoke quietly, carefully, not wanting to give the impression that he believed Levi was being silly or oversensitive, because he wasn’t.  This was new territory for both of them, especially Levi, and it would do no good to ignore his concerns.

“I need to wash, too.  We’re both bloody and sticky.  And we need to eat.”

As if on cue, Levi’s stomach growled ferociously.  Clearly it was well past time to eat.  If he really thought about it, they hadn’t eaten for at least ten hours, too wrapped up in each other to bother. 

The raven considered the brunette’s offer of a bath once more, eyes carefully lowered as he said, “Will you stay?”

Eren smiled, pressing their foreheads together.

“Of course I’ll stay.  I said I was drawing _us_ a bath, didn’t I?”

“I’m sorry,” Levi responded, his voice oddly dejected.  “I’m not…used to this.  I don’t know how to…”

“It’s not something you need to apologize for.  You can, if it makes you feel better, but…I love you the same, no matter what.  I won’t pretend that I don’t have instincts that want to be satisfied, and you shouldn’t either, but at the end of the day I want to do these things because you’re Levi, not because you’re…not because of anything else.”

“Why won’t you say it?” Levi asked, fully expecting Eren to understand what “it” meant.

“Because you don’t want me to,” was the quiet response the raven received. 

_Because you’re not ready._

Levi only nodded, sliding off the bed and standing with a notable wince.  It was obvious that he was in pain, and Eren moved to pick him up only to be met with a sharp snarl.

“I’m not a cripple!  I don’t need your help!”

The brunette held up his hands in defense, waiting for the smaller to limp by before following him into the bathroom.  Levi took up in a corner while Eren set to filling the tub.  A small water jug and basin were set aside, the brunette managing to convince the elder male to let him clean off the blood that had dried on his skin.  He examined the bite wounds while he was at it, mildly concerned, though Levi told him to quit thinking about it so hard lest his brain fall out of his mouth.

Eren could only laugh.

Levi smiled fondly at the sound, though his expression changed to one of sadness as his fingers grazed over the wound he’d left on Eren.  It was already fading.

“Hey…that just means you can give me more, yeah?  Even if you can’t see them, I’ll still be proud that you wanted to mark me.”

The raven nodded, brushing past the mark once more before his touch retreated.

“Come on, the water’s getting cold.”

* * *

Eren settled in the tub first, resting his back against the wall of the basin before offering a hand to Levi.  The captain seemed unsure about which way to face, but the decision was made for him when Eren turned him so his back pressed against his chest.  He wasted no time in grabbing a bar of soap, steadily washing away the grime that covered Levi’s torso.

“It hurt,” Levi said randomly, his voice distant.  “The first time…it hurt.”

Eren paused in his washing, brows downturned as he considered Levi’s words.

“Which part?”

“When I came.  I…it felt like somebody was trying to rip my muscles off my bones.”

A strangled noise escaped Eren then.  Levi wasn’t a born omega, and if he really stopped to think about it, the chances of him having bedded a virgin omega were probably fairly low.  Sexual education probably wasn’t something that was taught in the Underground.  At least, not the way Eren had been taught.

He shuddered at the implications.  Swallowed down the bile that threatened to rise in his throat.

“When omegas go into heat, pain drives them to find an alpha, someone to help create the next generation.”

“I know that!” Levi snapped.  “That doesn’t explain why it felt like I was being turned inside out.”

“It does,” Eren said gently, working soap into Levi’s nape, carefully cleansing the bite mark he’d left.  “When an omega goes through their first heat, it can be maddening.  The desperation for relief is overwhelming.  It’s impossible to orgasm without being tied.”

“That’s why I couldn’t come,” Levi stated, voice flat.  There was no question there, just a solemn acceptance.

“Yeah.  And…when an omega finally does tie, they experience an agony that I’m told is indescribable.”

The raven offered a derisive snort, though his eyes remained forward, unblinking.

“It’s supposed to hurt…to be memorable, “Eren murmured, voice colored with shame.  “It’s meant to be a reminder as to why alphas and omegas shouldn’t be separated.  A biological response to ensure the survival of the species.”

“It’s disgusting,” Levi spat.  His anger was rising, his scent turning acrid and rotten, like a spoiled egg doused in kerosene.

Eren wasn’t put off.  He only hugged Levi to him and mumbled apologies into his hair, following up with a supportive croon.

“I wish it hadn’t been that way.”

“But it was.”

The brunette’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, a shaky hand finding Levi’s beneath the water.

“Yeah, it was.”

The captain turned his head just slightly, his neck bared to Eren’s mouth.  The wet fingers of his free hand tangled in the hair at the back of Eren’s skull, pulling his head downwards towards an exposed scent gland.

“I don’t want to hurt anymore.”

Eren understood what Levi was asking for, what he was being offered…but he couldn’t take it.  He was doing it for the wrong reasons.  He wasn’t thinking, too blinded by the pain of the past few hours.  Scarred and scared by events he didn’t understand and couldn’t comprehend.  The brunette wasn’t willing to openly reject his captain’s advances.  He dipped his head to press firm kisses along the pulsating flesh, biting down with just enough pressure to leave a mark but not break skin.  With his lips still against Levi’s throat, he whispered a promise meant for them both.

“Soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Juste là! Ne t'arrête pas! - RIght there! Don't stop!


	22. Picnic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure what this chapter is, but I like it all the same.

Levi and Eren disembarked from the tub, Eren quickly and roughly drying himself and tugging on some clean pants and scrubbing a towel over his ever unruly hair.  The outpost suddenly felt too small and the need to escape its confines nagged at him.  He could feel Levi watching him out of the corner of his eye, but the raven said nothing.  He only tied a towel around his waist and exited the bathroom in silence.

It bothered Eren how Levi was simultaneously an open book and completely unreadable.  It bothered him more that they’d had sex twice, once with Levi confessing his feelings, only for Eren to wonder if those feelings were the truth.  The brunette had never known the elder male to lie.  At least not without good reason.  But, such pain that would drive one to madness would be enough, wouldn’t it?

For a man with Levi’s sense of duty, his dedication to his work, the answer was almost certainly no.  And yet Eren still entertained the possibility that Levi had only told him what he wanted to hear.  That he’d only said those words to put a stop to his torment.  Eren wasn’t sure what hurt more, but the fact that either of those thoughts could be true cut him to the quick.

He needed to be sure.

“Hey,” he said as he followed Levi out into the hall, “I’m feeling a little claustrophobic.  You up for taking a walk with me?”

Levi raised an eyebrow, appraising the brunette before nodding his head.

“It might take me a bit to find something I can wear.”

“You don’t have to wear anything if you don’t want to,” Eren replied, voice serious.

“I’m not letting bugs bite up my junk,” Levi scowled, though no annoyance seeped into his tone.

“You can wear some of my clothes…if it would help,” the brunette spoke with his head ducked, cheeks blushing with bashfulness.  Truthfully, his inner alpha was absolutely crowing at the idea of Levi wearing his clothes, but he tried to ignore it.

The raven snorted, but headed towards Eren’s bedroom, instructing him to pack some food for a late lunch.  He then disappeared without another word, leaving the younger male to his own devices.

Eren dutifully set to filling a sack with a couple of pieces of fruit, some bread, and some dried meat from the provisions that Gunther had packed for them.  He had thought about bringing along the venison that Levi had butchered, but decided that was better left to be cooked at the outpost.  With a soft huff, fingers pulling through still damp hair, he made to see if Levi was ready to depart.

“Hey, Captain, are you…” Eren’s voice trailed off as he took in the raven’s attire.  He was wearing one of the brunette’s over shirts, the baggy fabric slipping off one pale shoulder to reveal bite bruised skin.  Eren whined softly, a rough swallow following the noise as he tried to keep his arousal in check. 

“I told you not to call me that,” Levi responded nonchalantly, arms crossed over his chest, weight supported by the doorjamb.  

Eren only whined again, eyes drifting lower to take in Levi’s loose sleep pants.  It stood to reason that he’d chosen them because they stood off his body and didn’t cause him pain.  But they sagged in just the right way and partially covered Levi’s feet and those were _Eren’s clothes_.  He’d made the offer and Levi had accepted, but…

“Are we gonna go, or are you just gonna stare at me until you cream your pants?”

Eren spluttered, wracking his brain for a response, but he had none.  He could only excuse himself to grab a shirt while Levi went to put on his boots.  Levi didn’t bother trying to hide his smirk.

* * *

“Where are we going?” Levi asked, irritated.  It felt like they’d been walking forever, and while he normally wouldn’t have complained, he was out of sorts as it was.  Having Eren lead them Sina knows where did nothing to help his mood.

“We’re almost there.”

“That’s what you said ten minutes ago, you shitty brat.”

Eren only hummed in response, casting a glance down at his counterpart before making a decision.  He stopped and knelt, looking at Levi expectantly.

“You cannot possibly be serious.”

“As serious as a titan invasion.”

“You are not offering me a piggy back ride.”

“I am.”

“You’re an idiot!”

“Yeah, but you like me.  And I can already tell you’re exhausted, so would you just get on?”

Levi growled, but he couldn’t refute the boy’s observation.  It pissed him off that they’d only gone a mile or so from the outpost and he already felt like collapsing.  While he did feel moderately better overall since engaging in their earlier…activities…he was nowhere near 100% yet, and he needed rest.  With a resigned snarl, he climbed onto Eren’s back, grabbing onto the bag and blanket Eren had been carrying so the other could support his weight while they walked.

“I never understood why they called it a piggy back ride,” Eren mused.  “Pigs are horrible creatures, and they’re certainly no good for that sort of entertainment.”

Levi only scoffed.

Truthfully, though Eren had noticed Levi falling behind, he had mostly wanted to feel the captain pressed up against him.  He’d wanted to perhaps hold the raven’s hand as they walked, but he was too chicken shit to try. He wanted Levi to ask for his attention, but that didn’t happen either.  More than anything else he wanted to hear Levi say “I love you” again, but it felt more and more as if it was wishful thinking.  That the captain had only said it because he was bogged down by pheromones and agony.

“Oi! What are you thinking so hard about?  Keep it up and your brain’s gonna melt out your ears.”

Eren was about to answer when his eyes landed on the spot he’d been looking for.  A small clearing where a stream ran through.  The place where he’d caught the doe.

“We’re here.  Come on, grab the blanket and we can eat.”

Levi gracefully slid off the boy, shuffling along and looking for a spot that was decent enough to put the blanket down.  He settled for a small patch of grass just a few feet from the stream, spreading the material out with meticulous care.  He kicked off his boots, scolded Eren for trying to step on the blanket without doing the same, and nodded his approval when the brunette not only removed his boots, but sat with his feet in the grass.

The raven continued to watch as the boy began unpacking their lunch, his fingers curling into the fabric of the shirt he wore.  Eren’s shirt.  He sniffed at it, swallowing down a purr that threatened to rise in his throat.  The scent was soothing and it settled something inside him.  He wasn’t certain what it was, but it pleased him to his very core.

What didn’t please him was how cagey Eren was being.  He was twitchy and awkward.  Not in his usual way, but rather as if he was suddenly concerned about being around Levi.  It was like the raven’s very presence disturbed him, irritated him.  Perhaps it had been a mistake to let the rut complete itself.  But…it didn’t feel like a mistake.  Even now, with Eren pulling out food for him to eat, providing for him in the most basic way, all Levi could feel was satisfied and content.

“Levi? Hey, Levi?”

“Huh?  What?”

“You were kinda out of it just now.  Are you ok?  Do we need to go back?”

“I’m fine, Eren.”

Eren pulled his lower lip between his teeth, worrying it briefly before settling back onto the blanket and taking a bite out of his hunk of dried beef.  The threads of it stuck in his teeth and it was overly salty, but after all of his earlier exercise the food quelled the ache in his stomach, and he couldn’t find it in himself to be displeased.  He was about to take another bite when he noticed Levi watching him.

“Aren’t you hungry?” he queried, noting the raven wasn’t eating.

“I’m finished already.”

Green eyes watched grey carefully.  His irises had returned to their normal hue not long after they’d bathed, and while Eren didn’t know what that meant, it wasn’t his primary focus.  He searched around on the blanket, looking for the remnants of Levi’s meal, but he found nothing.

“Where’d you put it?”

“What do you mean “Where did you put it?” I ate it, jackass.”

Brown eyebrows dipped towards each other to create a small frown as Eren considered the given information.  Without another thought, Eren held out his hand to offer Levi the rest of his jerky.  When Levi didn’t take it, he nudged him, insistent.

“Take it.  I know you’re hungry.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can.  And you’ll be taking care of yourself by eating this.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Would you just eat the damn meat!?” Eren exploded, tone dropping low and dangerous, something heavy weighing it down.

Levi’s gaze instantly went dark, even though his body curled in on itself.  Conflict.

“Don’t you do that to me,” the raven all but hissed.  “You don’t get to do that do me.”

The hairs on Eren’s neck stood up as he realized his error.  He’d used alpha voice to try and gain influence over an omega.  Over _Levi._

 _“_ You don’t get to do that to me,” Levi repeated forcefully.

“I’m…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

The raven didn’t allow him to finish, standing up to storm back towards the outpost.  He ignored Eren calling after him, though he realized in short order that he didn’t know how to get back without the boy.  He really had no desire to be in the brunette’s presence at the moment, however, and so he searched for an escape.  A nearby tree was good enough for him, and he scuttled upwards, scaling rough bark with relative ease.  The ascent was more taxing than it usually would have been, but watching Eren worriedly pacing beneath the branch he rested on renewed Levi’s strength somewhat.

_Alpha is upset._

“Alpha mérite d'être contrarié.”

“Fuck!” Eren cursed at himself.  “Why did I do that?  Fucking hell…I didn’t want him to…”

Levi just watched Eren trudge back and forth beneath the tree.  He found it interesting that the boy hadn’t tried to come and retrieve him, and he couldn’t decide if that pleased him or upset him.  The more he watched the brunette the more agitated he became.  Levi knew he was being unfairly insolent, but that voice…it brought back unpleasant memories.  His reaction, though tempered by sheer will, was visceral.  Nobody got to tell him what to do.  Not like that.

“Oi!” the raven called down.  “Arrête de t'agiter.”

“Levi!  Please come down!  I’m _sorry!_ ”

_Forgive us, omega._

“Pourquoi devrais-je descendre?”

Eren whimpered in the back of his throat, eyes pleading as he stared up at the raven.  He was perched very comfortably on his branch, resting on his side with his head resting on his folded hands.  If Eren didn’t know the man, he’d say that the captain was amused by his distress.  But he did know him, and what Eren had done had upset him.

“I shouldn’t have done that, ok?  I just wanted you to eat!”

“Pour qui t'es-tu pris, en utilisant une telle voix?” the captain spat back, ire rising again.  Excuses.  He wasn’t interested in excuses.  “Je ne suis pas juste une pute que tu peux commander comme si de rien n'était!”

“Levi, _please_!” Eren fell to his knees, fingers curling themselves in the dirt.  Not only was the raven refusing to come down, he wouldn’t even talk to Eren in a language he could understand.

_Mercy, omega!  Forgive us!_

Levi opted to take pity on the boy then, daintily picking his way back down the tree trunk until he was standing on grass again.  He made no move towards the brunette, however.  He stayed stock still, watching with eyes of liquid mercury as Eren crawled towards him, head bowed.  Submission.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.  But I did, and I’m sorry,” he spoke to Levi’s feet.

The captain softened then, tentative fingers reaching down to thread through chocolate strands.  He didn’t feel as if he had overreacted, but he couldn’t expect Eren to know what had happened to him long before they’d met.  Before Eren had even been born.  The boy could surmise, of course, but he didn’t _know_ , and it wasn’t fair to put that burden on him.  All the same…

“That’s not a voice you just throw around.”

“I know.”

“Do you?”

“I’ve never used it that way before,” Eren admitted, chancing a glance at Levi’s face.  “I’ve never even wanted to.  But you’ve not been yourself, and we’ve been…busy.  I wanted to be sure you had enough to eat.”

_Alpha must provide._

A sigh escaped Levi and he sank down to join Eren in the grass.

“I’ve been taking care of myself for a very long time, kid.  I guess I don’t know how to let someone else help any more than you know how to leave someone to fend for themselves.”

“We’re not good at this.”

“No, we’re not,” Levi smiled. “Mais je t'aime quand même.  Come on, let’s go back and sit, I’m not ready to go back to the outpost yet.”

“Yeah, ok,” Eren agreed, offering Levi a hand up as he stood.  “May as well stay and watch the sunset.”

“Je parie que ce sera beau. Mais pas aussi beau que toi,” the raven spoke against Eren’s lips, smiling when he felt the younger shiver.

The brunette’s tongue flicked out to wet his own lips as Levi moved away and he stood there momentarily dumbstruck by the beautiful audacity of the captain’s actions.  It occurred to Eren then that even though he didn’t understand a word Levi had said, he knew what he meant all the same.

I love you.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alpha mérite d'être contrarié - Alpha deserves to be upset  
> Arrête de t'agiter - Stop fussing  
> Pourquoi devrais-je descendre? - Why should I come down?  
> Pour qui t'es-tu pris, en utilisant une telle voix? - Who do you think you are, using a voice like that?  
> je ne suis pas juste une pute que tu peux commander comme si de rien n'était! - I'm not your bitch to boss around!  
> Mais je t'aime quand même - But I love you anyway  
> Je parie que ce sera beau. Mais pas aussi beau que toi - I bet it will be beautiful. But not as beautiful as you


	23. Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hurt my heart. There's a lot of back and forth in this chapter.

Upon returning to their blanket, Levi found himself a place to sit along the edge, staring at the stream while Eren took the opportunity to sprawl out over it.  A gentle nudge had the raven looking over at the brunette who had deigned to offer him the hunk of jerky that had been left behind during their spat.  Levi considered refusing the food again just to be spiteful, but the truth was that he _was_ still hungry.  And so he took the proffered food from Eren, bit off a hunk to tear it and half, and handed the other half back to the boy.

“You sure you don’t want the rest?” the brunette asked.  Levi fixing him with a death glare was enough to silence him, and he popped the rest of the jerky in his own mouth.

The pair were silent for a few minutes, Levi sitting with his ankles daintily crossed, Eren resting on his back with his arms behind his head.  The raven turned slightly, trying to watch Eren as covertly as possible.  When he noticed the boy had his eyes closed he allowed himself a moment to just take the other male in. 

Levi had realized just a few short hours ago that Eren was no longer a boy, but a man, and the physical evidence of it struck him harshly.  At nineteen years old he had filled out considerably.  Though he was nowhere near maturity, it was clear that he was not a child.  The brunette’s arms were thick and well-muscled, his biceps particularly well defined, and his legs were much the same.  His limbs were still long, but they weren’t the ungainly, gangly noodles that looked like they belonged on a spring fawn instead of a human male.  Eren’s neck had thickened, his shoulders broadened, abdomen tight from constant use during training and fighting.

The boy was a goddamned masterpiece.

_He is ours._

The raven felt a sudden pull and he looked down, thinking that perhaps Eren was tugging on his shirt.  There was no hand there.  He cast his gaze towards the other side of the young man, though, if he could see Eren wasn’t pulling at him, it wouldn’t make sense that he couldn’t see something else trying to do so.  Still he felt pressure somewhere between his chest and his belly, and when he leaned closer to the dozing brunette he found it subsided, if only slightly.  He frowned but leaned even closer, finally making to crawl towards the other.  Soon enough Levi found himself tucked against Eren’s side, his head cradled on one of his shoulders, fingers splayed over his chest.

The pull in his body immediately subsided.

Eren hummed and began carding his fingers through onyx hair as if it were the most natural thing in the world.  Levi supposed it was at this point, and he couldn’t say that it made him uncomfortable or unhappy.  He only curled in closer, finding great solace in Eren’s presence.

“Je déteste le fait que je t'aime.  Ça me fait peur.”

“What language is that?” came the gentle tenor of Eren’s voice.  “I’ve been wanting to ask.”

“C'est du français,” Levi returned.  “It’s French.”

“It’s beautiful,” Eren responded, turning his head just enough to peer at Levi’s face.

“My mother taught me.”

“Why haven’t I heard you speak it before?”

“Most people haven’t heard it.  It’s not something I kept from you.  It’s…I don’t share that I know it.”

“Why?”

Levi frowned at Eren’s question, but he wasn’t quite sure why.  He wasn’t being rude, wasn’t trying to intrude on something private.  He just wanted to learn more about the man he laid with, and the raven couldn’t fault him for that.

“It reminds me of my maman.”

“Is it a bad thing to remember?”

The response Eren received was a derisive snort, though Levi’s fingers clenching in his shirt showed his discomfort.

“You don’t have to tell me, Levi,” he whispered.  “I don’t need to know.”

“Elle est morte,” the captain responded abruptly.  “She’s been dead for a long time.  Longer than you’ve been alive.”

“I’m…”

“Don’t apologize.  It’s been too long and I’m too old to entertain sympathies anymore.”

Eren wasn’t sure how to respond, so he didn’t.

“The Underground is a cruel place, Eren.  It takes people before they’re ready to leave.  Steals them away without remorse.”

“She was murdered,” Eren concluded.

“Yes.”

The brunette instinctively pulled the smaller man closer, burying his nose in his dark hair.  Levi wouldn’t accept a verbal apology, but Eren couldn’t keep himself from offering comfort, even if the captain didn’t need it.

“I don’t mind that you do it,” he murmured into the crown of Levi’s head.

“I wouldn’t care if you did,” came the sharp retort.

“It makes you feel better,” Eren said, ignoring the curt response.  “You’re telling me things.  I know you are.  Things that are important.  You don’t like idle chatter.  And it’s ok if you aren’t ready for me to understand.  I can wait.”

“Tu es absolument ridicule,” Levi exhaled before rolling atop Eren to straddle his waist. 

Eren could only smile, bright and beautiful, as he gazed into steel irises.  He only smiled wider when Levi leaned down to kiss him, a giggle on his lips.  He found himself sobering when Levi’s kisses turned insistent, fingertips wandering over his throat and down his shoulders.  When the raven pulled back, the brunette could see the faint glow in his eyes, something burning behind his cool stare.

“What is it?”

“Your eyes.  They’re glowing again.”

Levi blinked slowly.  He couldn’t feel any difference in himself, couldn’t sense any change in his vision.  He tipped his head left and then right and asked, “Does it scare you?”

“No. Does it scare you?”

“No…but I know I don’t like it,” the captain answered honestly.

“Your eyes are beautiful.  You’re beautiful,” the younger insisted, sitting up just enough to kiss at an exposed collarbone.

“Why do you keep saying that?”

“Because you still don’t believe me.”

_Believe me._

Levi leaned away, head turning to look off into the tree line.  How was he supposed to respond?  He wasn’t equipped for this.  He wasn’t meant to be…

“I’m a broken man, Eren.”

Warm hands cupped a flushed face, a gentle pressure turning Levi’s head until he was looking into emerald starlight.

“I know you are.  And I’m broken, too.  I don’t want to fix you, Levi, I just went to help you hold the pieces together.”

“Comment est-ce si facile pour toi?”

Eren’s forehead rested against Levi’s and he found himself speaking in a rush, tears threatening to spill over as he confessed to the other man yet again. 

“I don’t care that you’re missing pieces, or that you’re cracked, or broken.  We’re not meant to live as whole pieces on our own.  I love you just as you are.  And I will say it until you believe me.”

“How can you be so sure about what you feel?” Levi muttered, tone bitter.

“I just…am.  I look at you and all I ever want to do is make you happy and keep you safe.”

“I don’t need you to take care of me.”

“I know you don’t _need_ me, Levi.”

“That’s not what I said,” the raven returned, voice deceptively quiet.  “I said I don’t need you to take care of me.  Not that I don’t need you.”

Eren scowled, confused.

“What does that...that doesn’t make sense.”

“It makes perfect sense.”

_If you’d fucking listen._

“I don’t want you to be angry with me because of how I feel,” Eren cast his gaze downwards, unable to meet Levi’s eyes.

“I’m not angry because of how you feel!  I’m angry because of how I feel!”

Eren stiffened, fingertips twitching over Levi’s forearms.  The conversation was taking an unexpected turn.

“How do you feel?” he asked, cautious.

“I don’t know!” Levi snapped, crumpling Eren’s shirt in his fingers. “I don’t know how I feel!  I don’t know what’s real and what’s caused by all the goddamn fucking pheromones in the air! Je ne sais plus qui je suis! Comment suis-je censé faire face à cela?! Why do you even fucking want me!?”

The raven’s hands shook as he clutched thin material, eyes closed, tears winding their way down his face in salty rivulets.  He wanted to put the mask back on, to hide, but it was too late.  He was completely exposed, at the mercy of a man who just learned that the one he claimed to love was nothing but an empty shell.

Warm hands covered Levi’s, squeezing gently.  He heard a deep intake of air followed by a shuddering sigh.

“How could you ever think I wouldn’t want you?  _How_?  I _love_ you, and I’ll keep saying it until you understand that it’s true.”

“I don’t even know how to love, Eren.”

“That’s bullshit,” Eren spat.  “I’ve seen you love!  I see it when you’re with Hanji and the Commander.  I see it every time you remove the patch of a fallen comrade.  I see it when you comfort someone in their last moments.  You’ve wiped titan blood from your blades, declaring it disgusting, but you’ve never wiped away the blood of the fallen.  You love so fucking much and I don’t know how the weight of it hasn’t crushed you.”

“I’m cold.  And cruel.  I’ve not just killed, I’ve murdered.”

“You’re only those things when you have to be.  They’re not all of who you are, Levi.  And we’ve all killed.  We’ve all murdered.  We’re all just trying to survive.  And I don’t want to do that without you.”

“I have nothing to offer you.”

Eren took the captain’s face in his hands again, his touch gentle, coaxing the raven to look at him as he spoke.

“You’re enough.  Levi, I swear it, you are enough.”

Blue-grey eyes scanned the brunette’s face, the latter taking note of the flickering within gunmetal irises.  His reverie was broken when thin lips pressed to his, small fists balled up against his chest.

“I want you to be enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Je déteste le fait que je t'aime. Ça me fait peur. - I hate that I love you. It scares me.  
> C'est du français. - It's French  
> Elle est morte - She's dead  
> Tu es absolument ridicule - You're absolutely ridiculous  
> Comment est-ce si facile pour toi? - How is this so easy for you?  
> Je ne sais plus qui je suis! Comment suis-je censé faire face à cela?! - I don't know who I am anymore! How am I supposed to deal with this!?


	24. Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They do more of the thing. And more feels happen. They'll be heading back to headquarters soon.

Eren sat in silence, though his hands refused to remain idle, rubbing up and down Levi’s sides.  Levi wanted him to be enough which the brunette could easily have interpreted to mean that he wasn’t enough already. But the raven’s eyes deceived him, gave away all his secrets.  Secrets he didn’t even know he carried.

Eren was already enough.

“You’re staring again,” Levi huffed, turning away as a flush overtook his face.

“It’s hard to look away from someone so lovely,” the younger male smirked. 

Truthfully, Eren was trying to hide his nerves.  Quite a ridiculous notion since he’d fucked Levi’s brains out twice already (well, only once, technically), but he wasn’t used to the captain behaving so meekly.  Shyness didn’t particularly become him, but it was understandable with the way recent events had unfolded.

“I never should have said you didn’t smell right,” Eren suddenly blurted.

“What?”

“That day when we crashed in the trees.  I told you that you didn’t smell right.  It implied you smelled wrong, and…and that certainly was not the case.”

Levi swallowed roughly, fingers twitching against Eren’s chest as he emitted a soft, “Oh.”

“You smelled delicious,” Eren sighed, lips moving to place open mouthed kisses on a pale throat. “You smell even better now.”

“You want to fuck me,” the captain responded easily, pressing his groin against Eren’s stomach.

“Yeah.  And you want me to do it,” the brunette purred, nuzzling behind Levi’s ear.

“I didn’t say that,” came the reply.  Levi denied the accusation even as he arched into Eren’s touch.

“You don’t have to say it.  I can smell it on you.”

Levi shuddered in Eren’s grasp, eyes fluttering closed when warm hands slipped beneath the oversized shirt he wore, heated fingertips gliding over the small of his back.

“I…you…” the raven spluttered, searching for words that would form a coherent sentence.  He could feel his heat demanding to be sated again, and though he tried to fight it he had already lost the battle. 

“Levi,“ Eren rasped.

Without a second thought, Levi pulled his shirt off, momentarily sliding out of Eren’s lap to remove his pants.  Bared to the elements he clambered back into the brunette’s embrace, immediately rutting against his abdomen in search of release, lips seeking out any part of the younger man he could reach.  He shouldn’t have been surprised by how quickly the heat had taken over, and yet he was still struck by incredulity at the strength of his desire.

“J'ai besoin de toi,” the captain panted against Eren’s lips, shaky fingers tugging at the stiff leather of his belt. “S’il te plait.”

Eren still didn’t understand a goddamn lick of French, but with Levi trying to rip off his belt as if it had personally wronged him, he figured he had the go ahead to proceed.  He offered the raven aid in the removal of the offending leather, following up by unbuttoning his pants to slide them downwards.  Levi didn’t allow him to remove them fully, too intent on his prize.  His eyes glowed near white-hot with lust, pale irises thinly ringing dilated pupils.

The brunette groaned when his cock was taken up in Levi’s small hand and stroked, guided back between slick cheeks only for Levi to slide it against his hole a time or two before he sank down on it.  His jaw dropped open and he tossed his head to flick the hair out of his eyes.  Eren was pretty sure it was the hottest thing he had ever seen in his life.

Until Levi started moving.

The captain raised and lowered himself easily, as if he had been born to ride Eren.  Large hands rested over finger marked hips, but they didn’t seek to guide the smaller male anywhere.  If anything, the one holding on for dear life was Eren.  He was absolutely enraptured by the way Levi bowed his back, by his sun-dappled skin, his usual pallor warmed through by the sun, lending him to glow a gentle orange-pink.

“Baise-moi, baise-moi, baise-moi…” Levi chanted, all but bouncing atop Eren.  It was a ludicrous request, both because Eren couldn’t understand what he was asking for and because Levi was doing all the damn work without really realizing it.  His fingers scratched at Eren’s pecs, drawing blood as he took his pleasure from the prone male.  A sharp cry escaped him every time he hit his prostate and he would sit up straighter for a time to drill Eren’s dick against that spot.

Eren did his best to keep up, thrusting upwards and yelping when Levi clenched around him.  He was pretty sure he was going to go mad with the way Levi was using him…and he was most definitely being _used_.  But fucking hell he loved it.

_Stunning omega!  Strong omega! OURS!_

The brunette felt his knot forming far too early for his liking, Levi’s thrusts coming shorter and shorter as it swelled to lock him in place.  The raven only got in two more bounces before Eren forcefully stilled him and arched upwards, fingers pressing into the dark bruises on Levi’s back as he rolled them over.

“Fuck!  Good boy!” he called out mindlessly, gasping in satisfaction as Levi’s orgasm hit first.  He felt the warm splash of come on his belly, the mind numbing pressure of the captain’s ass clenching around him and sucking him in even further, triggering his own climax.  With a deep moan he came, his fingers curling into the blanket beneath them, short thrusts allowing him to fuck his way through his orgasm.

It was quiet for a minute or two and then Levi’s smooth tenor broke the silence with, “Did you call me a good boy?”

Grassy eyes went wide as the realization hit Eren that, yes, he had infuckingdeed called Levi a “good boy”.  Oh.  Shit.

“I…I-I…”

“Say it again,” Levi murmured, tugging his hips away gently, shivering at the sensation it caused.

“You want…really?”

Levi averted his gaze, speaking into the open air, “You don’t have to.”

Thankfully, Eren recovered quickly, peppering Levi’s flushed face with kisses before whispering in a reddened ear, “You were such a good boy.”

The raven whimpered and rocked up against the larger man’s body.  He was already hard again, ready for more even though they were still tied.

“You like it when I tell you you’re good, Levi?” Eren questioned, though it was clearly rhetorical.  The constriction around his cock told him all he needed to know. “You feel so wonderful.  Warm, and wet, and mine.  My beautiful omega.”

Levi gasped at that last assertion, body going stiff beneath the alpha.  He found himself relaxing just as quickly when Eren began stroking along his jaw, stealing kisses and whispering praise.  It didn’t take long before he was thrusting forward again, even though his knot hadn’t subsided.  That was fine.  It was fairly obvious that the raven enjoyed the stimulation, his legs having come up to wrap around the brunette’s waist.

“Encore!  Tu me rends fou!”

Eren was growling, deep and thunderous, his hands moving from either side of Levi’s head to frantically grip at the backs of his thighs.  He bent the smaller man almost in half, frustrated that he could do little more than aggressively grind.  It didn’t seem to negatively affect Levi, however.  He was howling obscenities to the heavens, hand fisting his length as he sought another orgasm.

“Oui, oui, oui, yes, yes, yes, fucking YES!” Levi cried out one last time, clamping down on Eren yet again as his body erupted.

The brunette only snarled, fingers biting into the meaty flesh of the raven’s upper thighs.  He kept up his rough grinding, drool dripping onto Levi’s chest as he heaved and panted, lungs desperately seeking more oxygen.  It took him another five minutes to come again, his encouragement arriving in the form of Levi’s shrill squeals of pleasure.

When the last remnants of his release had found its way into Levi, Eren collapsed onto his side, the captain automatically throwing a leg over the taller man’s hip once more.  Lazy kisses were shared as they lay together, a content, warbling purr worming its way out of Levi, much to his chagrin.  Eren didn’t make fun of him for it, only crooned in response, touching Levi everywhere he could reach.

The sun continued to set over them, bathing them in hues of scarlet and purple, indigo and sweet pink.  Neither of them noticed, too caught up in each other to care.  Levi even more so than Eren.

“You called me yours,” the raven whispered, forcing himself to keep his eyes locked with dewy meadow irises.

“Yeah,” Eren said quietly.

“You called me omega,” Levi licked his lips, unsure of what else to say.

“Yes,” the brunette responded, unapologetic.

A cautious hand alighted on Eren’s cheek, palm drawing over rough stubble.  Levi closed his eyes as he felt the stiff hairs pull at the skin of his palm, opening them again when his thumb drew over pink lips.

“Je veux que tu sois suffisant…my alpha,” Levi spoke carefully, strategically hiding himself against a muscled chest.

Eren’s breath hitched, grip tightening on the man in his arms.

“I love you, Eren.  I just don’t know if I…”

“Say it again,” Eren interrupted, voice shaky.

“Which part?”

“The part that _matters_.  _Please_ ,” the brunette pleaded.

The raven still couldn’t look the other man in the eye, too afraid of what he would find there.  He did comply with the request with no further hesitation, however, speaking against Eren’s throat.

“I love you, my alpha.”

Eren cried.  And Levi held him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> J'ai besoin de toi - I need you.  
> S'il te plait - Please  
> Baise-moi, baise-moi, baise-moi - Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me  
> Encore! Tu me rends fou! - Again! You're driving me crazy!  
> Oui, oui, oui - Yes, yes, yes  
> Je veux que tu sois suffisant - I want you to be enough


	25. Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi has himself a nice lil anxiety attack, so be warned.
> 
> The boys will be heading back to headquarters within the next chapter or so.

When Eren and Levi separated from each other they walked over to the stream to wash away the come that had dried on their bodies.  It was little more than a quick wipe down, but that suited them fine.  After that, Levi grudgingly put his clothes back on, wrinkling his nose at the way they scratched, though it was profoundly less irritating than it had been a few days ago.  Eren packed up their blanket and grabbed the sack that had held their lunch, and they headed back to the outpost.

They made it half a mile before Levi demanded sex again and Eren took him against a tree.

Neither one was sorry.

They made it back just as the first stars made their appearance, the moon’s glow trying to compete with the final rays of the setting sun.  Eren started on making their dinner while Levi excused himself to go bathe.  He felt grimy and sticky and wanted to rid himself of the sweat that covered him.  He’d need Eren’s help to redress his wounds, but that wasn’t his present concern.

Unfortunately, after he drew his bath he couldn’t make himself get in it.  That feeling was back, feeling repulsion at the idea of washing the scent of Eren away.  It hadn’t mattered at the stream, as water alone couldn’t dilute the smell of the alpha.  He had also been standing right next to the brunette and had immediately scent marked him following their wipe down.  The idea of submerging himself in the tub, the water yet again scented with oils, filled him with such revulsion he saw red.

Levi’s lips pulled back into a vicious snarl, though he made no noise.  He turned his head away from the pool of waiting water, only to catch his reflection in the mirror.  He was disheveled, his throat covered in bruises from love bites, and if he turned he could see the deep purple and the marks of Eren’s teeth along his shoulders.  The broad bruise from when he’d landed on his back during the fight with Jean.  The abrasions from their last tryst against the tree.

His instincts immediately fell into conflict.  On the one hand, he was extremely proud of the marks he bore.  They showed Eren’s approval of him, depicted his desire, his willingness to have Levi for his own.  On the other hand, he was supremely disgusted.  He looked unkempt, unclean, unfit to be declared Captain.  He knew _why_ he looked the way he did, but he hated it.  With a guttural roar, Levi grabbed the closest thing to him and hurled it across the bathroom, listening to it shatter against the wall.

Eren was by his side in an instant, though he recoiled when he entered.  The scent of angry alpha overpowering in the small room.  Levi stood off to the side of the bathtub, back to the younger male.  He shook where he stood, the smoky scent of fury suddenly intermingling with the tang of confusion and the sharp bitterness of fear.  It all assaulted Eren’s nose, too much information for him to handle at once, and he couldn’t help but blow the air out of his nostrils to try and clear his head.

Levi didn’t move, only stood, quaking, staring at the water in the basin.  The brunette made no move to touch him, instincts telling him that to do so would be dangerous.  He instead kept his gaze on the floor, offering a quiet whine.

“I can’t get in,” the raven growled.

“What?”

“I can’t get in the goddamn water.  I can’t fucking get in!”

Eren said nothing, too confused to speak.

“The idea of washing your scent off me makes me physically ill.  Is this what I am now?  So pathetically bound to you that I can’t even wash myself?”

Levi’s tone was flat, almost devoid of emotion.  Eren could detect his disgust, his bitterness, saw the tension that had overtaken his body. 

“You’re angry.”

“Yes.”                                 

“Get in the bath, Levi.”

The raven turned his head just enough for Eren to view one glinting grey eye.  A combination of panic and fury swirled in the thunderhead of his iris, though his voice was deceptively calm as he spoke.

“Excuse me?”

“Get. In. The bath,” Eren replied, voice clipped.  It wasn’t alpha voice, but there was force behind it.

“Why?” Levi challenged.

“I’m not going to fight with you about this.  You don’t get to be angry at me because you’re scared.”

“I’m not…”

“Don’t bullshit me.  I’ve spent enough time around you, watched you long enough, _listened_ long enough, to be able to tell when you’re afraid.”

The captain growled, the reverberation deep, laced with a threat.  But Eren knew he wasn’t going to follow through.

“What exactly do you think is going to happen?  Whatever your instincts are telling you, Levi, they’re _wrong_.  I know you’re used to trusting them, but the ones you’re feeling are new, they’re different, and you don’t know how to interpret them yet.”

The raven continued his growling, though his eyes were focused on the pellucid water in the tub.

“You’ll be upset.”

“I’ll be upset if you don’t clean up the way I know you want to.  Not because you don’t smell like me.”

Eren waited, watching as Levi leaned towards the tub only to take another step back, fists clenched at his sides.

“I would never hurt you, Levi.  Never.  And certainly not for something as trivial as bathing.  You’re not…you’re not my slave.  I don’t own you.”

“Il a tué ma maman…parce qu'elle ne sentait pas comme lui.”

Silence.

“My mother is dead because she didn’t smell like him.”

Eren did move then, albeit slowly.  He stepped up behind Levi, arms carefully wrapping around his waist.  The brunette’s hand drew down one of the captain’s arms to grasp a thin wrist and gently lower it towards the water.  The raven flinched, but didn’t fight when his hand was submerged.  He tried to remove it when Eren removed his own, but a soft grunt of disapproval was enough for Levi to remain compliant.

“Your mother is dead because the world is a cruel place.  Because the one who killed her was a piece of shit who wasn’t fit to lick the hooves of our horses.”

“I feel disgusting.”

“I know.”

“It’s not just…”

“I know.  Get in the water, Levi.  It’s ok.”

There was hesitation in his movements, but Levi obeyed and slowly lowered himself into the tub basin.  His gaze was blank, eyes glassy and glazed over as he watched Eren, still awaiting some sort of punishment.  He was a grown man in his thirties, and yet he was terrified that something awful was going to happen to him because he was bathing.

Eren kneeled next to the tub, encouraging the captain to touch him if he wanted to.  He leaned into a palm made warm by bathwater, ignoring the wetness against his cheek.  A soft smile adorned his face and he nuzzled against Levi’s hand.

“I know how you feel,” Eren intoned.

“How could you?”

Eren immediately rocked back, slack jawed with shock.  He barked a laugh and flashed a brilliant smile after he came back to his senses.  He practically crowed when he said, “Are you shitting me?  I never thought I would get to say this to you, but…you’re a fucking idiot!”

Levi whipped his head towards the brunette, a venomous scowl on his face, but Eren only laughed harder.

“I learned that I was a goddamned titan when I was fifteen!  You saw what that knowledge did to me, Levi.  You saw me struggling, trying to figure out who I was.  _What_ I was.  You told me that I had a choice, that I could be man or monster.  You taught me that adaptability was far more useful and worthwhile.  I know the instincts you have are new to you, but whatever they’re telling you right now?  They’re wrong.  You knew how to handle instincts as an alpha, but you didn’t always have complete control of them when you were younger, did you?  I know I didn’t.  I can turn into the very enemy we’re trying to exterminate, and sometimes I hate myself.  I hate that it’s me that can do it.  But I’m still _me_.  You taught me that my ability to shift is only one small part of who I am as a _person_.  What you’ve become…it’s such a small part of who you are.  You’re still Humanity’s Strongest.  You’re still the man I love.  You’re still _Levi_.  None of that has changed just because your dynamic did.”

Levi leaned back in the tub, his face a visage of stone.  He didn’t look at Eren as he muttered a quiet “Get out,” and he ignored the way his heart constricted in his chest when the brunette’s smile faded and he sorrowfully made his way out of the bathroom.

“I’ll be out here if you need me.”

_Need us._

Levi only sunk beneath the water’s surface, bubbles rising as he blew out his breath.

* * *

When Levi resurfaced, Eren was gone.  He immediately felt distressed but forced the feeling down, ignoring the nausea that pooled in his gut.  The bar of soap that sat just off to the side of the basin was seized and he violently lathered up, scrubbing his arms and legs until his skin turned red.  When he reached around to clean his back, his fingers alighted on Eren’s marks and stilled.  The bites were still tender and probably would be for a few days.  Proof of their mating.  Of what Levi had let Eren do.

The first sob was loud and harsh, but the raven covered his mouth almost as quickly as the noise had escaped him.  Grey eyes worriedly turned to the door, awaiting entrance of the alpha in the room beyond.

He didn’t come.

_Abandoned._

Levi cried harder, but kept his sobs to quiet gasps and desperate sniffs, hands tangled in his hair as he shook his head, trying to assure himself that Eren wouldn’t do such a thing.  He had left the room because Levi had told him to.  That’s all.  He would be in the kitchen waiting when he came out.  It was fine.  It was fine.  It was fine.

“Je suis désolé!  I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” the raven spoke hurriedly, tone still hushed.

And then, without warning, Levi was being lifted from the water and into a pair of strong arms.  He wasn’t particularly in his right mind, though he registered the scent of _alpha,_ the gentle odor of sweet meadow grass being filtered through the air to try and soothe him.  The raven clung to his alpha desperately, feeling like little more than a child as he chanted, “Je ne voulais pas te blesser, je suis désolé,” over and over again.

Levi thought nothing of it when his position went from vertical to horizontal, Eren having carried him into one of the bedrooms to lay down on a mattress.  The captain was on autopilot, rubbing and nuzzling and grabbing the brunette everywhere he could reach, trying to cover himself in Eren’s scent again.

The raven’s desperate scent rolling went on for at least ten minutes with no sign of it ceasing anytime soon, and Eren grew concerned.  After what had happened during their time away from the outpost, he was hesitant to invoke dynamic rank, but Levi was bound to hurt them both if he kept on as he was.

With one hand pressed to his lower back and another catching the long hair at the back of Levi’s undercut, Eren pitched his voice low, the vibrations overlaying each other to create the familiar dual sound of alpha voice.

“Stop.”

Levi’s writhing slowed, but only minutely.

“Stop,” the alpha tried again, speaking more slowly. “You’re going to hurt yourself.  Be still.”

The small body eased its movements, though Levi’s tear streaked face still pressed against one of Eren’s scent glands.

“Look at me,” Eren commanded, a finger beneath his omega’s chin to tip his head upwards. “Just look at me.  It’s ok.  It’s fine.  I’m right here.”

“Eren?” Levi blinked, dazed.

“Yeah,” he murmured, allowing the distortion to fall away from his vocal chords so he could speak normally.

“Please don’t leave me.”

“Never.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Il a tué ma maman…parce qu'elle ne sentait pas comme lui - He killed my mother...because she didn't smell like him  
> Je suis désolé - I'm sorry  
> Je ne voulais pas te blesser, je suis désolé - I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry


	26. Switch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyy (Switch)! Turn it over and hit it! Turn around, now switch! Turn it over and hit it (ooh la la la)!
> 
> What you think is gonna happen is exactly what happens. This is only part one. I love writing smut and I ain't sorry about it.

“I got you all wet,” Levi said as he came back to himself.

“Well, I suppose that’s only fair after the state I’ve helped keep you in this week.”

The raven snorted, only for his voice to turn apprehensive when he replied, “I don’t know if I can do this.”

_Help me._

“You already are.  You’re just overwhelmed.”

_You’re so strong._

“I’m sorry that I can’t be what you want.”

_Failure._

“You’re already everything that I’ve ever wanted, Levi,” Eren pressed a kiss to his forehead.

_Perfect._

“All I do is cry.”

“It’s just hormones.  You don’t know how to handle this side of things yet is all.”

“It’s pathetic.”

“It’s really not.  I’m ninety-nine percent sure that you could still kick the shit out of me.”

“Only ninety-nine?” the raven huffed, insulted.

“Well, the one percent is for when we’re sleeping.  And I’m confident that you could literally beat my ass in your sleep, so, it really is one hundred percent if you think about it.”

Levi exhaled in a watery laugh, clinging to Eren’s chest.

“This isn’t how I ever wanted you to see me.”

“We all try to hide pieces of ourselves.”

“If that’s true, you’re absolutely terrible at it.”

“Hey!”

“Don’t act so surprised.  You’re a damn open book, kid.  You always have been.”

Eren opened his mouth to protest, but he thought better of it, laughing lightly instead.

“Your heat’s almost over,” he suddenly declared.

“How do you figure?”

“We’ve been here, what? Three days? Maybe four?  And your scent is changing again.  I mean, I still wanna…but I don’t feel I _have_ to.  How do you feel?”

Levi shrugged idly, mumbling that he hadn’t felt as feverish since their first coupling.  He still felt weak, but nowhere near what he’d been upon their arrival.  He squeaked when Eren rolled him onto his back, tensing his abs as the brunette’s fingers flitted over the muscles.

“What’re you…”

“D’you think anything’s happening in there?” the alpha queried, his touch never faltering.

Levi audibly swallowed, suddenly fearful as he replied, “Do you want there to be?”

Kids had never been something Levi had wanted.  Not just because of the shitty world they lived in, but because he had no interest.  He wasn’t suited to be a father, and he’d certainly never considered that _he_ could be the one to bear offspring.  The idea really didn’t appeal to him, and he felt himself turning green at the thought.

Eren’s lips pressed to the flat expanse of Levi’s stomach, easing the raven’s trepidation as he said, “I don’t need there to be.”

“We didn’t use anything.”

“No, and it was a concern I had before the first time, but…you were distressed and in pain, and it was going to happen one way or another.  We don’t even know if that’s something you can do.”

“And if it isn’t?”

“All I need is you, Levi.  Nothing else,” the brunette spoke with utmost sincerity.

Levi carded his fingers through Eren’s hair, sighing when a warm cheek pressed against his belly.  When Eren’s voice reached him next, his tone was somber and his words were tentative.

“Could you…would you mind if…I mean, I want…”

“Spit it out, brat.”

“Hold me?”

“Eh?”

“It’s not that I don’t like holding you.  I do.  A whole fucking lot.  It’s just that I thought that if this,” he gestured between them, “ever happened, I wouldn’t be the one who…”

“The one who did the fucking?” Levi finished for him, eyebrow raised, though there was the hint of a smile on his lips.

“Well, I mean I…I’m not opposed to it being the other way around…”

“No?” the raven said, honestly surprised.

“I’ve never thought of you as the type who liked to bottom.  I’ve never had a preference either way.”

Levi tapped at his own chest in a gesture to get Eren to crawl up and snuggle against him, smiling as his breath puffed against his jaw.  He wrapped his arms around the younger male, scratching at his nape as he exhaled in contentment, gathering his thoughts before he began speaking.

“I don’t dislike bottoming.  I need to be in the right frame of mind for it, and being in heat,” he cringed, “apparently makes the issue a non-starter for that period of time.  But I suppose you’re right in that topping is my general preference.”

“So,” Eren licked his lips, eyes flicking about the room to look anywhere but at Levi, “if I asked you to fuck me, you’d…”

The raven went rigid, fingers stopping their scratching, breath caught in his chest.

“Levi?”

One long breath escaped the captain, followed by a deep inhalation and a slow nod of his head.  He didn’t trust his voice right then and it took him a minute to respond.

“Did…were you wanting to right now, or…?”

“Do you think you can?”

Levi pondered for a moment, unsure of the answer to that question.  He most definitely wanted to know what it felt like, being buried in that tight, tan ass.  But the idea of it in his present state, even though the instincts were fading, was that it wasn’t the right thing to do.  Omegas didn’t fuck alphas.  That wasn’t how it worked.

But then, Levi had rarely ever been one for following rules.

“I want to try.”

“Ok,” Eren agreed, voice barely above a whisper.

“Before we do this…the blood rut…it’s gone, yeah?”

“Extinguished itself after the first time.  I haven’t felt its presence since then.”

The raven nodded, wetting his lips before asking, “Oil?”

Eren reached over to the nightstand, rifling around in the drawer before pulling out a small glass jar of amber liquid to set it on the small table.  The gentle “clunk” as the base of the jar connected with the wood of the nightstand seemed louder than should have been strictly necessary, and eyes of molten mercury stared down into dewy green.

The young alpha leaned up to brush his lips against the raven’s, stealing a couple of kisses before settling back against the pillows in a manner that was far more provocative than it should have been.  Levi’s dick twitched with interest and he ground against Eren’s groin experimentally, shivering at the larger male’s soft groan.

“Don’t hold back, Levi.  Take me apart.”

The raven seemed momentarily stunned, but he quickly recovered, descending on the brunette and crushing their lips together.  He felt ravenous and wild, seemingly needing to devour the man beneath him.  He moaned into Eren’s mouth, fingers working to open beltless pants.

“Fuck!  Levi!” Eren grunted, ripping off his shirt and sighing when cool palms immediately found his chest.

Levi couldn’t get enough of Eren.  There wasn’t enough of him to touch, there wasn’t enough to taste, there wasn’t enough to smell.  He wanted Eren, Eren, Eren, _more Eren_ , and it showed in the desperate way he bit at a golden neck and ground against a thick thigh.

“Shit!” he panted, trying to slow himself down.  “I can’t…I don’t know why I…”

“Do whatever the fuck you want! I don’t care!”

The raven whined, biting at Eren’s ribs, spurred on by every whimper, yelp, and cry.  The pressure of his teeth stopped just shy of breaking skin, but the marks were clearly visible.  He sucked hickeys along Eren’s groin as he pulled his pants the rest of the way down, flinging them off to the side before eyeing the alpha’s erection.

“I take back what I said before!  Don’t bite off my dick!” Eren panted, tone serious.

Suddenly it was as if Levi was moving in slow motion, head dipping down to nuzzle against the thick flesh of the brunette’s hard-on.  He dragged his tongue from base to tip and immediately closed his lips around the dripping head, a pleased hum escaping him as he flicked his eyes up to see the younger’s reaction.

“Ah—aha—fuck yeah,” Eren moaned, hips rocking up into Levi’s mouth.  “Shit, shit, shit, that’s so…goddamn…”

“Who’s the good boy now?” Levi asked smugly as he pulled away from Eren’s dick.

“Definitely still you,” the brunette wheezed, hips flexing in search of that delicious warmth.

Levi wanted to be annoyed by the alpha’s answer, but he found himself considerably more turned on.  He slapped one of Eren’s thighs just enough to get his attention, making sure he held eye contact as the tip of his tongue extended and languidly swirled over the leaking head.

“If you keep looking at me like that, I’m gonna blow it,” the brunette huffed, covering his eyes with a forearm. He jerked at the sensation of Levi’s teeth against his hip, a sinister glint easily noted in the elder male’s eyes when he chanced a look.

The raven scooted up the larger man’s body just enough that he could reach the oil from the nightstand, quickly retreating back to his position between Eren’s legs.  He opened the lid, lip held between his teeth as he took a moment to admire than man beneath him.  Long tan legs were spread for him, Eren’s hand lazily stroking his own cock as he waited for Levi to do something more.  His eyes were heavy lidded and darkened with arousal, cheeks and chest blushing a pretty scarlet hue.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Eren asked, suddenly appearing bashful.

“Because you’re too fucking gorgeous for me not to,” Levi supplied, surprised at his own honesty.  “Are you sure this is what you want?” he questioned, even as he poured oil over his fingers.

“I may have only realized that I was truly in love with you two years ago, but I’ve dreamed about you railing the shit out of me since I was fifteen.  Fuck yes this is what I want.”

Well, Eren was nothing if not candid.  Levi’d always appreciated that about him.  With a soft sigh he took Eren’s cock back in his mouth, suckling gently while fingers glistening with oil slipped between the supple cheeks of Eren’s ass.  The younger male twitched a little bit, startled, but he relaxed without coaxing.  A single finger was slipped into the puckered hole and the pair of them moaned simultaneously, Levi gasping around Eren’s erection as a thick drizzle of pre-cum slid down his throat.

“Haaahh—ahhha fucking _hell_ …” the alpha shuddered out, head turning away from where Levi was working.  He couldn’t watch.  It was all too much.

Levi would have been concerned with Eren’s small retreat had it not been for the fingers tangled in his hair, pulling at the strands, guiding him.  It was all hot as fuck, and though the raven felt he would die if he didn’t get inside the brunette soon, he refused to rush.  He wanted this to be good for him.

“’M’not gonna break, Levi.  More…I need it…please.”

Grabbing blindly for the glass jar he’d set aside on the mattress, more oil was added to slick digits and a second finger found its way alongside the first.  Eren bowing off the bed with his mouth open in a soundless scream was one of the most erotic things Levi had ever witnessed in his life.

“There it is.  Come on love, come closer to the edge,” Levi taunted, fingers curling inside Eren’s warmth as if he were beckoning him.  His touch was feather-light, each brush of his fingertips over the brunette’s prostate causing him to jolt and cry out.  “So beautiful,” he murmured, licking another stripe up the throbbing length.

“Gonna come, gonna come, gonna come…” Eren whined.

“You won’t,” Levi chuckled, echoing the brunette’s words from their first time together.

Eren only whined again, pulling at Levi’s hair until he was forced to relent and slide up the alpha’s large frame.  Tan cheeks showed a healthy blush, pink lips kiss swollen and marked up by the younger’s teeth, and his pupils were blown so wide that Levi wondered if the rut had returned.

“Please don’t make me wait anymore.  I can’t. I want…”

“Shhh,” the raven soothed, working his way back down Eren’s torso, soft kisses being pressed along hypersensitive skin.

The brunette silenced himself, shivering intermittently while Levi lined himself up.  The captain’s hand slid along his own erection as he stared down at the shifter, seemingly contemplating what to do.  His brain was telling him to fuck.  He _wanted_ to fuck.  But his inner omega was chastising him, scolding him for even thinking of taking the alpha in such a manner.

_Omegas don’t do this!_

Eren’s inner alpha wasn’t much kinder, screeching at him for allowing an omega to treat him in such a manner.  His lip curled up in a snarl as he told it to shut up, even though it kept antagonizing him.  Levi’s eyes met his, and they stared at each other yet again, each waiting for the other to say something.  To do something.  Levi leaned forward, growling and grinding.  He wanted to do it.  Needed to.  But the war going on in his head…

“It’s telling you no, isn’t it?” Eren asked through gasps, pressing against Levi in turn.

“Yeah,” the raven frowned and looked away, ashamed.

“Mine too.  Fucking ignore it.”

Levi’s head snapped back towards the brunette, eyes widening with surprise.

“Are you…”

“If you ask me if I’m fucking sure I swear to shit I will scream!  Just _do it!_ ” Eren wailed, pulling at his own hair.

And how could Levi ignore such pretty begging?  How could he deny the desires of his lover?  It really didn’t matter what that one small voice inside him said when there was a much larger presence in front of him demanding to be filled.

Levi pressed forward, gritting his teeth and ignoring the impudent voice in his head.  He chose to listen to Eren’s encouragements instead.  The soft hisses of “Yes” and the breathy whimpers of “Come on.”  That beautiful voice calling for him to press deeper, come closer, to claim another part of him.  And when he was finally balls deep in the shifter’s ass he slumped forward, forehead pressed just below Eren's sternum.  They each gripped the forearms of the other and reveled in the sensation of being connected in a way that was simultaneously the same as and entirely from different the first time.

“Don’t move,” Eren gurgled, fingertips flexing over Levi’s arms.

“Are you ok?” he exhaled in a rush.  “Does it hurt?”

The brunette shook his head, pushing back messy locks that fell in tear-bright eyes .

“I just want to feel you.  To be able to remember this,” he sniffed.

“Tch,” Levi clicked his tongue.  “Sentimental brat.”

But there was no bite to his words.  He was not annoyed or put off.  Levi only felt a now familiar warmth expanding in his chest, the fire that resided there burning Eren’s name into every fiber of his being.

“You’ve ruined me,” the raven rumbled.  “You’ve ruined me, and I love you for it.”


	27. Closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot believe y'all thought I would cut the switch smut short. Please. But the chapter was almost 2500 words long! I like them shorter than that.
> 
> So, here's just under 1400 words of smut for you. The rest of the scene we all know you want.
> 
> Christ, I love these two almost as much as I love Soul and Maka

_“You’ve ruined me.  You’ve ruined me, and I love you for it.”_

Those words echoed in Eren’s head over and over and over again.  They made his skin feel too tight for his body, something heavy and indescribable settling deep in his bones.  Levi was inside of him.  Actually _inside_ of him.  That knowledge twisted him up in ways he didn’t want to understand, made him feel things he never wanted to forget.

The brunette was pulled from his silent reverie when Levi shifted between his legs, breath ragged as he declared he couldn’t be still much longer.  That was fine.  More than fine.  Eren didn’t want him to be still.  He nudged the raven with his foot to encourage him to test the waters.  The first thrust pulled a sound out of Eren that was absolutely unholy and startled Levi into stopping.

“Are you ok?”

“Don’t stop,” Eren wheezed through tears.  “Please, it doesn’t hurt, it’s just…”

It struck Levi then.  This was something Eren had been dreaming about, wanting, pining for, for literal _years_.  The brunette had been consciously in love with Levi for the last two.  What they were doing was a culmination of every thought the shifter had ever had about him and it was daunting.  Especially when Levi couldn’t share those same feelings with the younger male.

It wasn’t that he didn’t love Eren.  He was fairly sure he did or he wouldn’t have said it.  But he couldn’t pinpoint _when_ it had happened.  Not in the same way.  The _how_ required little thought if he was honest with himself.  The kid endeared and enamored almost everyone he came in contact with.  His sincerity, his earnest nature, his passion and loyalty.

It had been inevitable.

Levi couldn’t help but to mentally kick himself for not realizing his feelings sooner than four days ago.  He prided himself on his observational skills.  On his ability to be introspective.  And he had missed it.  He had missed the adoration in Eren’s gaze, mistaking it for hero worship and obedience.  He had missed those smiles that were clearly meant only for him.  The ones that weren’t the same as what he offered his friends.  He had even mistaken vocalizations Eren made in his titan form as a generic sort of communication.  Acknowledgement of an order.

This whole time…

“Levi?”

The raven looked at Eren then.  He really looked at him and cursed himself for all of the missed time.  All of the kisses he could have had long before now, the nights they could have spent tangled up in each other, the pain they could have helped each other through.  There was no apology good enough.  So Levi didn’t offer one.  He just moved.

Eren’s eyes rolled back in his head, dick twitching as it reanimated itself.  He’d gone a bit soft waiting, but the sweet push and pull of Levi moving inside him got him going again.  His inner alpha was settling down, a semi-perturbed halfhearted nagging still tickling at the back of his brain that was easy to ignore.  His fingers constricted around Levi’s forearms before sliding down to grasp his hands, seeking more of him, more of a connection.

Levi obliged, tangling their fingers together before bowing down over Eren to nuzzle and lick and kiss everywhere he could reach.  This was one instance where he cursed his height, as he couldn’t kiss the brunette the way he wanted to.  Couldn’t give him the full attention he deserved.  He offered everything he could, though, breath catching when Eren contracted around him.

Eren shook against the mattress, trying to calm himself down.  He was flying high and Levi had barely even done anything to him.  He was just _there_ and that was enough.  The burden of being Humanity’s Hope had been made tolerable with the encouragement of Humanity’s Strongest.  It had become an easier cross to bear when Levi helped him hold it up, even when he didn’t know he was doing it.  But here, in the shoddy outpost bedroom, they weren’t Humanity’s Hope or Humanity’s Strongest.  They were just Eren and Levi.  The space was a sacred one.

“You’re crying,” Levi noted, squeezing Eren’s hands.  

Eren hiccupped and nodded, stating that it should be expected since he was such a sentimental shitty brat.  The alpha had been doing so before, but had managed to stop himself.  Whatever thoughts were floating around in his head had started the tears again.

“You are.  But you’re mine,” the raven responded with a sharp thrust, watching Eren go rigid beneath him as he found that little electric spot inside of him.  He didn’t ask if he was on target.  He already knew.  He carefully extricated his hands from the brunette’s to drop them to tan hips, tipping him just so.

The alpha moaned, the noise bubbling up from somewhere deep in his belly.  It was guttural and debauched, and Levi reveled in it.  Such pretty noises.  So lovely.  All for him.

“What are you doing to me?” Eren whispered through his tears, hands curled into fists, voice thick.

“Loving you.”

That was the only answer Levi could give.  It was the only one that was right.  The only one that was real.  Eren’s response was completely involuntary, his ass clamping down on the raven’s cock, fingers tangling in the sheets as he let out a strangled scream and splattered his own stomach with his release.

Levi stared down, wide eyed, movements slowing as he asked, “Did you just?”

“Don’t fucking stop!” the brunette barked, legs wrapping around the captain’s waist, encouraging him to continue.

The raven didn’t question it, hands seeking Eren’s ass to keep him held up at the right angle, fingers squeezing well-muscled flesh.  His dick was still being squeezed, Eren’s walls rippling and undulating around him.  It was all too much, and within a minute of the brunette’s climax, Levi found his own, shoving himself so deep inside the shifter he wondered if the rest of him would follow.  Levi’s skin was on fire and he was positive that he understood what flavor the number three had.  He was dizzy and wanted nothing more than to collapse and roll away, just to get a little air. 

But he couldn’t. 

A firm pressure against his groin let him know that he wouldn’t be going anywhere for awhile.  He really wasn’t sure he could believe it, but he glanced down to see that he had, in fact…tied Eren.

“Holy…”

“Shit!”

Levi tried to remain calm, chest heaving as he came off the adrenaline high.  He felt himself still pulsing inside the alpha, dick twitching with the knowledge that he could produce a knot.

“You…we’re tied.”

“Yes,” Levi blinked, confused.  He was confused for a great many reasons.

“Feels good,” Eren mumbled then, a dreamy smile on his face.  “You feel so good.”

“I…how did…what?” the raven stammered. 

“What’s wrong?”

Well, there were a myriad of things “wrong”, but Levi chose the one that startled him the most.  That thing was not that he had tied Eren after seemingly transforming into an omega, but rather that he had tied _at all_.

“I’ve never caught anyone before,” the captain admitted.

“Huh?”

“I’ve never tied…I’ve produced knots, but only by myself, and not often.”

The younger male frowned, though it clearly wasn’t in anger.  If he hadn’t been basking in post coital glow, he would have asked for more of an explanation.  But he was basking, and he wasn’t interested in explaining biology to Levi right then.  He just rolled onto his side, pulling the raven with him, this time swinging his leg over Levi’s, sighing in bliss as the smaller male rocked forward instinctively.

“Is this what it feels like when I’m inside of you?” Eren sighed, voice hoarse.  “I like it.”

“I like it, too.”

“Which way?” the alpha inquired

“Both,” Levi replied without hesitation. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Though he was more confused than ever about the status of his secondary gender, he refused to deny that Eren felt good no matter which way he had him.  It was all terrifyingly exquisite.  If he had to be terrified, at least he could be so with Eren.


	28. Ease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This felt cathartic.

The first words out of Eren’s mouth after the pair took a short nap were, “I’ve always liked it that you're small.”

Levi growled at the assertion, albeit quietly.  He’d heard plenty of people reference his height over the years, particularly when it came to discussing him as a sexual conquest.  They liked that he looked like he could be toyed with, as if he were some kind of doll.

Levi Ackerman was not a goddamned doll.

He was about to tell Eren such when the brunette said, “People underestimate you because of it.  But you’re fucking devastating in battle.  It excites me, knowing that you’re so much smaller than me and you could break me in half if you wanted to.  Even my titan form isn’t any sort of challenge for you.”

Well…shit.

The raven wasn’t quite sure what to say, just barely keeping his composure as he responded, “That’s some fucked up shit going on in your brain, Jaeger.”

Eren smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes.  The captain noticed, because he was ever observant, and it was Eren, and there was always information to be gleaned from him if one just looked at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“You called me Jaeger.”

“Yeah, and?”

The alpha scowled, fingers drawing down along one of Levi’s arms while he gathered his thoughts.  He wasn’t ready for it to be over.  He wasn’t ready to give Levi up.  He didn’t want to.  He wasn’t even sure he could.

“We have to go back.”

“What does that have to do with me using your name?”

“You used my last name, not my first,” Eren swallowed, forcing himself to watch the raven’s face as he spoke.  The mask was up, but only partially.  Levi’s defenses were low around Eren now, and he was no longer completely unreadable.

“I’ve called you Jaeger for literal years.”

“But you haven’t called me that _here_.  Not since the first day or so.  And it just reminds me that when we go back we’ll have to…we can’t be this anymore.”

Levi did his best not to react, but Eren saw something flash in his eyes.  Something that wasn’t quite dangerous, but plenty dark.

“Who said this would stop?” the raven asked, his scent subtly going sour.

_Alpha doesn’t want us._

“Do you think they’d even let us be together?” Eren responded, though the question was clearly rhetorical.  “I’ve been fighting for humanity for four years.  Both before and after I discovered my ability to shift.  They still don’t trust me.”

_We have no say._

“So? I trust you.  Is that not enough.”

“Everything about you is enough.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Eren pressed his lips together, gaze falling away from Levi’s face.  He wasn’t sure how to answer that question.  He felt Levi’s eyes on him, the weight of his observance heavy and oppressive.  The man had ridiculous presence, even in bed.

“Keeping your mouth shut won’t solve the problem, brat.”

Blunt teeth sunk into the brunette’s lower lip, worrying at it as he tried to figure out how to respond.  In the end, all he could do was reach out a cautious hand to ghost his fingertips over the rise of Levi’s exposed scent gland.  The raven unconsciously moved into the touch and Eren smiled, though it was still sorrowful.

“You asked me not to bond you,” the alpha began, hastily continuing before Levi could interject.  “That was a fair request.  There’s too much…too many smells here.  I can’t ask that of you when we’re both so heavily influenced.”

“But you want to.”

“I want you to…want me.”

Levi rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling.  He could smell the alpha’s distress.  It wasn’t horribly pungent, but it had enough of a presence to sting his sinuses.  To make him feel guilty.  That wasn’t Eren’s intention, certainly.  He could never manipulate Levi that way, would never dream of it.  He was hurting.

But Levi was hurting too.

“You don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?”

“Why are we here, Eren?  Specifically, why are _we_ here together?”

“Hanji told me…”

“To protect me, yeah.  I know.  But you don’t think there’s more to it than that?”

Eren pulled his legs up beneath his chin, arms coming around to hug them.  He looked for all the world like a scared little boy.  It was ridiculous, but Levi didn’t have it in him to be annoyed at the moment.  All he felt was a deep resignation realizing that the only way to get Eren to understand, truly _understand_ , was to talk.

“I grew up in the Underground.  My mother was a prostitute.  I’m the result of one of her jobs.  When I was eight, a john killed her.  He was drunk and in rut, and he never should have been able to get to her…but he did.  He strangled her while I hid under the bed.”

“Levi…” Eren started, only to be cut off by the raven’s dark glower.  He closed his mouth and waited for the elder to continue.

“When I was thirteen, I presented as an alpha.  I’d actually been hoping to be a beta.  They attract the least amount of attention.  I was grateful I wasn’t an omega.  It’s the worst thing you can be in the Underground, especially with nobody to rely on but yourself.  My first rut was…painful.  It was confusing, and exhausting, and my options were to fight or fuck.  I fought.  A lot.”

The captain paused, fingers absentmindedly raising to slide along a well-aged scar that crossed his left collarbone.  He seemed lost to his thoughts, the silvered flesh barely giving way as he pushed at it.  When his hand finally fell back to the mattress he resumed speaking.

“I fought so I wouldn’t fuck the unwilling.  I fought every chance I got so I wouldn’t become like the animals my mother was forced to be with so she could feed me.  I know that I’m a monster, but I’m not that kind of monster.”

“You’re not…”

“Don’t.  I’ve made my peace with it.  That’s the one part of myself I’m still sure of.”

“I’m sorry,” Eren muttered.  "I’m trying to understand.”

“I lost my virginity at fourteen,” Levi continued without hesitation.  “His name was Edmund, he wasn’t gentle.  I killed him.”

The raven turned to see Eren’s reaction, wondering how he’d respond to the admission.  When the young alpha only swallowed, squeezing his hands in his lap, Levi began speaking again.

“I made a name for myself as a thief and general thug.  I was good for odd jobs and maintaining order and silence.  It kept me and my friends safe.  As safe as the Underground could be, anyway.  When I went through a rut I tended to make more money.  I was willing to take on jobs that required more violence and less finesse, because it kept me from doing exactly what you were afraid to.  It allowed me to save one small piece of myself.  It left one spot of my soul untarnished.  I came in once every three months, and for four weeks out of the year, my friends and I could be assured we wouldn’t go to bed hungry.”

“Every three months?” the brunette’s eyes widened.  Cycling so often was absolutely insane.  Most alphas went through rut twice a year.  It was bad enough he came in monthly, but as a shifter, his biology was already different from others.

“Yeah,” Levi nodded and shrugged.

“Can I ask you something?” Eren whispered, cautious.

“Eh?”

“If you were cycling so often, why not start suppressants?  I know it was the Underground but…”

“What, you think black market suppressants were easy to come by?” Levi laughed, tone rueful. 

“Well, no, but…”

“Even if I’d been able to score something like that,” Levi interjected, “it would’ve been more of a risk to steal such things than it was to go through another rut.  And when it comes to doctors down there?  Well, you’re better off stitching yourself up at home, understand?”

Eren nodded somberly.

Levi sighed then and vaguely waved his hand in the air, picking up where he left off.

“I was seventeen years old when you were born, kid.  My mother had been dead almost a decade when yours shoved you out of her body.  By that time, I’d survived multiple ruts, stab wounds, a couple of gunshots, innumerable fights.  Erwin pulled me and my friends from the Underground when I was nineteen.  I was in rut the day he caught me, and I was so enraged at having been caught, especially by an alpha like _him,_ that I lost my mind.  I tried to kill him.”

The brunette just stared at him, still not comprehending what the elder was telling him.  Levi shouldn’t have been surprised by it, he supposed.  He was typically blunt, but presently didn’t have the energy for the ire that fueled such a response in him.

“I’m thirty-five years old, brat.  I’ve been through more rut cycles than I like to think about.  Even after joining the Corps and getting on suppressants.  I wasn’t due for one anytime soon, but something threw me off.  And it didn’t just throw off the when, it threw off the _type_.  Now, why do you think that might be, Eren?  Why are we here?”

When Levi finally looked up to peer at the younger man through obsidian bangs, he found bright eyes stretched impossibly wide and filled with a mix of terror and hope.

“This is all because of me?” the brunette exhaled, disbelieving.  “I did this to you?”

The raven scoffed at him.

“No.  _I_ did this to me.  Hanji said she believed that there was somebody that I needed.  Not wanted, needed, and my body was trying to tell me so.”

“Holy shit,” Eren choked as he blew out a breath and fell back against the headboard of the bed, trying to stay calm.  “Fucking hell.”

Levi hummed quietly before continuing, head canting to the side as he watched the alpha implode.

“Do you remember when you said that you weren’t here to take what you wanted, but to give me what I needed?”

“Y-yeah.  And I meant it.”

“I know you did, because you don’t know how to be anything but honest.  You’re shit at lying,” Levi chuckled, the corner of his mouth quirking upwards.  “It was cheesy and sentimental, but that’s who you are.”

“And?” Eren supplied the qualifier, understanding there was more.

Levi rolled back over and insinuated himself into Eren’s lap, gentle hands pressing to either side of his jaw while he lowered his forehead to the alpha’s, purring the response, “The only thing you have to give me so I can have what I need…is you.”

“You want me?” the younger nuzzled his smaller counterpart.

“I need you,” the raven corrected.  “And it’s not just because I…changed.  I changed _because_ I need you.  Because I apparently can’t live without you.”

“Fuck, Levi,” Eren sniffed, trying to force down the tears.  He couldn’t cry again, not now.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t realize it sooner.  I’m sorry that I only have four days of understanding what my feelings for you are when you’ve had so much more time.  And I’m sorry that I’m…”

The captain was cut off with a kiss, chaste and sweet.  It was enough to keep him silent while Eren spoke.

“Don’t regret what’s already past.  Just let me love you now.  You’re all I want.”

Levi offered that small smile of his.  The one that he realized was meant only for Eren.  With fingers tangled in messy chocolate, he spoke against Eren’s lips, “Je t'aime, gamin.  Sois à moi pour toujours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Je t'aime, gamin. Sois à moi pour toujours - I love you, kid. Be mine forever


	29. Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coldplay sucks, but I will admit that I love "Yellow" I was thinking about it when I wrote this chapter  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98o1bi7MIoQ
> 
> Also, So. Much. French. I eagerly await my corrector(s).

“What time do you want to leave tomorrow?” Eren spoke around a mouthful of venison.  Their dinner had long since grown cold, but he was too hungry to care.

“Were you raised in a barn?” Levi queried, clicking his tongue and frowning at the younger. 

“Nah.  I was brought up in the wilds of Shiganshina,” the brunette grinned, cheeky.

“Little shit.”

“Ah, but I’m yours, sir.”

Levi faltered slightly, his fork clattering onto the table.  It suddenly occurred to him that the monikers that had been off limits for the last four days were going to have to be reinstated.  He didn’t like it, and he knew Eren wouldn’t either, but they were likely to face difficulties from the higher ups as it was.  The hierarchy was necessary.

“Eren,” the raven began tentatively, “you understand that when we go back, it can’t be like this, right?”

“What do you mean?” the brunette said after swallowing another hunk of meat. “Did you not want to still…” he trailed off, scent smelling of something burnt.  Fear of rejection.

“No!” Levi responded hastily, eyes widening just a fraction.  “No, I just mean…when we’re in public, when we’re training.  I’ll have to be your captain again, and you’ll have to be Jaeger.  There’s no way around it.  Our feelings don’t…”

“What about when we’re alone?” the alpha interrupted.

Levi picked up his teacup in that peculiar way of his, sipping gingerly at his beverage before returning it to the table and gazing at Eren with an expression that was decidedly heated.

“When we’re alone?  Call me as you wish.”

“Will you still let me mark you?”

The captain tipped his head and raised an eyebrow, amused and not at all surprised by the audacity of the brat.

“As long as you’re judicious about it.”

Eren shrugged then, acknowledging Levi’s response with a simple, “Ok,” before resuming his meal.

“That’s it?” Levi huffed a little.  “No argument?  No outrage?”

“Oh, I hate it,” the brunette replied.  “But I understand why.  I’m not fifteen anymore, Levi.  I can handle it.  So, what time do you want to leave tomorrow?”

“Midday,” he said after a brief silence.  “It’ll take us longer to get back without the horses, and I don’t want to risk running into titans on the way.  It’s clear here, but chances are that it won’t be when we get closer to HQ.”

“Fuck.  I forgot the horses were gone.”

“We’ve been here four days…we haven’t cared for the horses the entire time.  You really didn’t notice?”

“I was preoccupied!”

Levi rolled his eyes.

“In any case, it’s unlikely that anybody is coming for us.  They’re trusting that we’ll make our way back on our own.  We have our gear, and you can shift for part of the journey.  Besides, by the time we near titan territory, it will be nightfall and they’ll be inactive.  It’ll be fine.”

Mossy eyes glinted with mischief as Eren rumbled, “Are you gonna ride me, Levi?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” he returned, sipping once more from his teacup.  The spark in steel irises told Eren that the captain hadn’t missed the innuendo.

“Are you sure you’re ok?  What if we have to fight?” the brunette said, changing the subject.  Concern was etched into his features, unable to be concealed from ever observant eyes.

“Don’t.  Don’t do that.  Some things have changed, Eren, but many others haven’t.  I can still take care of myself, and if you can’t trust that then this won’t work.  I don’t need a savior.  Your duty is still to humanity, not to me.  Compris?”

“Yes, sir,” Eren muttered, pushing at the food still left on his plate.

“I’m not telling you not to care, kid.  I’m telling you we can’t lose sight of everything else.”

“I know.  I just want to protect you.  You’ve protected me for far longer than I deserved to be.  I want you to be safe.”

“Neither of us is safe.  We can’t be.  Not in the world we live in.  Not with the job we do.  But…” Levi paused to take a deep breath, “I will do my best to let you know when I need help.  In the field or otherwise.  You’ve trusted me this long, eh?”

“Yeah,” the alpha smiled, standing to clear their plates and stealing a kiss from the smaller man.

“I’m going to get our clothes packed up.  You start scrubbing this place down.  We’ll bring back the important shit.  Anything that isn’t essential should be left behind.”

“Yes, sir.”

Levi rubbed at the bristles of his undercut, blushing for an unknown reason as he headed to his bedroom to begin packing his things.  Even though Eren clearly disliked the idea of returning to old habits, regardless of the reasons why such was necessary, he’d done so seamlessly.  He wasn’t being brutish or impertinent, wasn’t being insubordinate.  He fell back into calling the raven “sir” without even thinking about it.

But then, old habits were even harder to kill than Levi.

* * *

Dishes done and kitchen scrubbed and packed away, Eren made his way outside.  It was still dark out, probably no later than eleven o’clock, and the sky was cloudless.  The brunette scaled the outpost roof and laid himself out atop the shingles to stare at the sky.  The inky expanse was dotted with the diamonds of stars, the jeweled eye of the moon bathing the alpha in its glow.

For a few soundless minutes Eren just stared skyward, closing his eyes and inhaling when a gentle breeze kicked up, ruffling his shirt.  He had always found comfort staring into the heavens, and while he wasn’t entirely sure he believed in an afterlife, he appreciated the idea that there could be something in the universe greater than what he could comprehend.  Much like his love for Levi.

Eren had always been afraid of losing Levi, whether in battle or perhaps to some assassin hell bent on dismantling the Corps.  But being afraid of losing his captain was entirely different from the prospect of losing his…what were they?  Were they mates?  Just lovers?  To qualify any of his feelings with the word “just” seemed flippant and unsavory, but Eren was cognizant of the fact that Levi probably wouldn’t want to label it anyway.  They were Eren and Levi, and that would be enough for the raven.

It could be enough for Eren, too.

“Oi, you shitty brat.  What’re you doing up here?”

Levi popped up on the roof alongside the alpha, staring down at his prone form.  Eren opened his eyes just long enough to see that the smaller was wearing his clothing again and he allowed a smile to grace his face.

“You’re in my shirt again.”

Levi only shrugged, saying, “I like it.  I’ll have to wear my own clothes back, but…these…these…”

“Eh?”

“Ils sentent comme toi,” the raven said, feigning casualness as he sat down next to the brunette.

Eren’s arm reached out to tug Levi closer.  The raven complied, and though he didn’t lay down, he did stare into the night sky, watching the stars glitter against an endless backdrop.

“What are you thinking?”

Levi only shrugged.

“Tell me?  I don’t mind if you tell me in French.  I just want to hear your voice.”

The raven ran his hand through his hair and blew out his breath.  He considered the request for a moment and then let his eyes trail heavenward again as he began speaking.

“Mon premier souvenir positif de la surface n'était pas le soleil. C'était les étoiles. Je pensais que le ciel nocturne était le même à la surface de la terre qu'il l'était en-dessous, et je me sentais toujours piégé. Mais mes amis, Isabel et Farlan, ont dit que ce n'était pas du tout la même chose. Il faisait toujours sombre, toujours noir, mais...l'underground avait un plafond. Le ciel était infini."

Levi gasped as he suddenly found himself in Eren’s lap, tan arms wrapped around his torso, face pressed into his shoulder.

“What are you doing?”

“Hugging you.  You sounded sad.”

The raven smiled, just a little, and covered one of Eren’s hands with his own, leaning back into his chest, comforted by the younger man’s warmth.

“You know none of us are ever truly free, Eren.  We are all bound to something or someone, for better or worse.  Freedom is an illusion.  But…it’s worth chasing.   Worth trying to get lost in.  Just for those few beautiful fleeting moments.”

“And you call me sentimental.”

“You are.”

“I’m not ready to go back,” Eren said, somber.

“I know.”

_Alpha wants us to himself._

“I also really want to fuck.”

Levi snorted and reached up to pat Eren’s cheek, gaze still facing forward.

“You’re such a romantic.”

“I’m relatively sure you don’t actually like romance and prefer it when I tell you what I want.”

Levi wrinkled his nose at that assertion.  He couldn’t deny the latter part of Eren’s observation, but the first?  Well…

“I’ve never been in love.  I don’t know if I like romance,” he said decidedly.  “I suppose if we’re talking about whispering sweet nothings in my ear and giving me plants that are only going to die in a week’s time, then…no.  I think that’s a waste of energy and effort.”

The brunette chortled at the admission, hugging the raven tighter.

“But,” the smaller continued, “if how you’ve dealt with me the past few days can be considered romance, then I can’t say I dislike it.”

Eren hummed in acknowledgement, rubbing his cheek against Levi’s scent gland as he asked. “Have you really never been in love?”

“No,” Levi said firmly.  “I wasn’t even sure I was capable of it.  I do suppose you’re right that I love generally.  There have been people in my life who have been important.  But the romantic sort?  It wasn’t ever something I was sure I wanted, and it definitely wasn’t something I felt I needed.”

“And now?”

“You’re someone I need, Eren,” the captain reassured, turning his head to place a gentle kiss on the younger’s jaw.

Eren was grateful that the night hid his blush.

He was displeased when Levi took leave of his lap.  The raven was hopping off the roof before Eren’s thighs could even begin to chill, and the brunette hurriedly scrambled to the edge to see where he was off to.

“Where are you going?”

“I thought you said you wanted to fuck?  I sure as shit don’t plan on having sex on a goddamn roof.”

Eren hurtled off the roof to follow, but as usual, grace failed him.  He fell unceremoniously on his back, landing with a heavy grunt.  He groaned as he opened his eyes only to see Levi looking down at him, the corner of his mouth quirked up in an affectionate smile.

“Tch.  Idiot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Compris? - Understand?
> 
> Ils sentent comme toi - They smell like you
> 
> Mon premier souvenir positif de la surface n'était pas le soleil. C'était les étoiles. Je pensais que le ciel nocturne était le même à la surface de la terre qu'il l'était en-dessous, et je me sentais toujours piégé. Mais mes amis, Isabel et Farlan, ont dit que ce n'était pas du tout la même chose. Il faisait toujours sombre, toujours noir, mais...l'underground avait un plafond. Le ciel était infini. - My first positive memory of seeing the surface was not the sun. It was the stars. I thought the night sky was the same above the ground as it was below, and I still felt trapped. But my friends, Isabel and Farlan, said it wasn't the same at all. It was still dark, still black, but...the Underground had a ceiling. The sky was endless.


	30. Illusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look! More porn! The last for...well, probably a chapter or two. I got problems, man...

“Top or bottom?” Levi asked as he divested himself of his shirt.

“Uhhhh...”

“I am not going to fuck someone that drools on himself.  Close your mouth.”

Eren closed his mouth, swallowed, and then said, “I…get to choose?”

The raven only shrugged, sitting on the side of the bed to begin removing his boots and pants.  Eren stood in the entryway of the bedroom that had become “theirs”, shifting his weight back and forth on his feet.  He only stopped when Levi pinned him down with his stormy stare.

“If you don’t pick by the time I’m undressed, I’m going to, and you may not like the result.”

“Top!” Eren yelped.  He wasn’t at all averse to Levi bending him over and having his way, but he had a good feeling that whatever Levi had in mind if he didn’t choose wasn’t something that would be pleasant.

“Thank fuck,” Levi huffed, grabbing Eren by his shirt and pulling him down for a kiss.  It was gentle and sweet, and not at all what the brunette had been expecting.

“You…want to bottom?”

Levi only shrugged again, head turned away as he finished pushing his pants off.

Eren grinned, toeing off boots he’d never bothered to lace up.  He wasted no time in shimmying up the bed to drape his body over Levi’s, pinning the smaller to the mattress with his pelvis.

“You like it,” he smiled, green eyes dancing.

“I…like it with you,” Levi admitted softly, squirming beneath the brunette.  He was uncomfortable with all the attention.  It was hard for him to get used to.  But, considering how demonstrative Eren was in his affections, he supposed he’d have to learn to tolerate it.  Perhaps he could come to enjoy it.

“You like it,” Eren said again, though there was no teasing tone in his voice this time.  It was more like a subdued sort of joy.  Levi had told him that he needed to be in the right frame of mind to bottom and it seemed that the alpha was enough to put him there without the aid of his heat cycle.  It was a feeling he wanted to nurture in the raven, and so he was mindful to be reverent rather than impertinent. 

“Are you just going to stare at me all night?” the captain grumped, raising his hips to grind against the brunette.

Eren laughed, grinding back in response while his head dipped low to lick at Levi’s scent gland.  He didn’t taste nearly as sweet, and his scent had reverted to something reminiscent of the forest.  Eren certainly didn’t mind that, but it occurred to him then that Levi had been hoping he’d choose to top.  He _wanted_ to bottom, but hadn’t been willing to ask for it.  He was probably too embarrassed to do so.  That was ok with Eren.  He’d make it worth his while.

“Ah…” Levi gasped as Eren sucked on his scent gland.  He may have been just out of heat, but those were sensitive regardless of whether or not he was cycling (in any capacity).

Eren laved at the tender skin, shivering in response to each quiet noise Levi made.  His hands wandered over Levi’s torso, counting ribs and scars, teasing firm muscles.  And then he was kissing his way down, down, down until he was settled between Levi’s legs, hot breath puffing against his semi-hard cock.  Levi had tasted him, but he hadn’t gotten to do the same.  Not this way.

Levi watched Eren in silence for a few moments, blinking slowly every time warm lips pressed to a new part of him.  His hip, his inner thigh, his…

“Is this ok?” the brunette asked, voice low.  A bit hesitant even.

The raven only nodded, legs spreading wider of their own accord as Eren pressed his mouth to the base of his length and sucked.  A rush of breath left the smaller, toes curling reflexively while Eren worked his way upwards.  Their eyes met and the alpha’s tongue flicked out to circle the head once before his lips closed around it and he began working his way down.

“Mm!”

The alpha didn’t pull off, but he stopped at the sound of the captain’s exclamation.  He’d gone tense from toes to fingertips and it was impossible not to notice.  When shaky fingers found their way into his hair, he began again, humming softly.  Levi was sitting up, both hands buried in chocolate chaos, hunched over and making the most delicious little noises.  It was incredibly intimate, and Eren found he enjoyed it immensely.  His thumbs stroked over Levi’s thighs before his hands moved to press against his lower back, encouraging him to thrust if he wanted to, but the elder held his position, bowed over Eren’s body, face twisted in a pleasured grimace that he couldn’t see.

Levi wasn’t entirely sure what Eren was doing to him, but it was fucking sinful.  He was certain they were both going to burn in hell for it, because nothing should ever feel as good as that tongue on his cock.  His breath hitched with each moan Eren let form around him, his thighs shook with every swallow.  It was just a fucking blowjob.  Why was it so…?

“Levi?”

“Nnn?”

“Are you alright?”

“Yes,” he mouthed, voice almost silent.  His eyes were closed, furrowed in concentration as he tried to chase after a sensation that had already stopped.

“You’re quiet.”

Oh.  So that was the problem.  Of course Eren would be concerned by his silence.  Two of the last four days had been spent fucking, and Levi had been horrendously loud.  Probably to the great pleasure of the alpha.  But the truth of the matter was that Levi generally _wasn’t_ very vocal in bed.  Desperation and hypersensitivity had driven him to vocalize more than he ever would normally.  He wondered if Eren would understand that.

“You’re not doing anything wrong,” the raven whispered.

“But am I doing anything right?” the brunette returned.

“Fuck yes,” he sighed, leaning down to capture Eren’s lips with his own.

Eren smiled, bright and beautiful, fervently returning the kisses Levi offered before pulling away to return to his previous venture.  As much as he enjoyed Levi curled over him he needed the captain on his back, and so he gently pressed against a pale chest to get him to lay down.  There was only a slight hesitation before Levi complied, one of his legs automatically bending upwards so his foot was pressed flat to the bed.

“Good boy,” Eren praised him after he pulled off, hand taking the place of his mouth.  Levi’s resultant moan went straight to his crotch and he stood up just long enough to rid himself of his own clothing.

The alpha dropped to his knees again, tongue sliding along Levi’s balls before he sucked one into his mouth, chuckling at the smaller male’s surprised shout.  He settled back down quickly enough, and spread his legs further, encouraging Eren to hurry things along.  The brunette took the hint, fingers traveling along the curve of his ass, dipping beneath his testicles to find…

“Ah--!”

“Going to need oil,” Eren intoned offhandedly, unconcerned.

Levi whined, hips bucking upwards, seeking some sort of attention for his neglected length.

“You’re not producing slick anymore.  Not enough for me to do this without hurting you.”

The captain only snorted and squirmed more.  He was thankful that the younger was quick about fetching the oil from the nightstand.  He was beyond grateful when a slippery digit slipped inside him, mouth opening to let out a pleasured shuddering moan.

“Good news is that this won’t take very long.  You may not be terribly wet anymore, but you’re still plenty open.”

“Cheeky little shit,” Levi replied, noting the smugness in Eren’s voice. 

The brunette snickered, throwing one of Levi’s legs over his shoulder and kissing his inner thigh as his fingers began pushing and pulling, curling inside him.  When the raven went stiff and bowed upwards, his fingertips retreated, only to move forward and tease the spot again.

“Touch yourself,” the alpha commanded.  “I want to watch you.”

Levi wasn’t in any position to argue, his hand slipping down his torso to close around his cock.  His grip was loose, just enough to tantalize, not enough to make him come.  Eren’s groan of approval was also plenty satisfying, and he fell into an easy rhythm.  Every now and again Eren would pay extra attention to his prostate and he’d lose his breath only to be reminded not to stop what he was doing, and he’d resume his languid stroking, watching the alpha through hooded eyes.

“You like watching me,” the raven exhaled, head tipping upwards to bare his throat.  It wasn’t a conscious effort.

“I do,” the brunette replied honestly before removing his fingers.  He’d made it to three some time ago, but Levi was making such pretty faces he had been hard pressed to stop.

And then Eren was crawling up over Levi, and somehow, as quickly as he appeared, Eren’s cock found its way inside Levi and they both exhaled a contented sigh.  Eren’s face was pressed to Levi’s throat and Levi’s fingers were back in Eren’s hair, and they laid there together, connected and complete.  Warm hands rested against Levi’s hips, squeezing ever so slightly, and Levi responded by rolling against him, a single fluid motion.

_Warm._

_Soft._

_Mine._

_I love you._

Eren didn’t bother trying to speak and Levi did nothing to make him.  The brunette only breathed in, out, and then rocked his hips forward.  He kept his face hidden away against Levi’s throat, focusing on the feel of the raven in his arms, fingers in his hair, a small hand pressed to his back.  Nothing else mattered.  The world fell away and it was empty, save for him and Levi.

“Look at me,” a voice called to him, smooth and enticing.

He pulled his head out of the crook of Levi’s neck, just enough to gaze at him with love drunk eyes.  What was this beautiful creature doing with him?  How could he want someone so…so…

“Eren,” the voice came again, the hand that was on his back moving to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. 

He didn’t cry.  Somewhere beneath the surface he felt the emotions picking away at him.  Elation, sorrow, confusion, belonging.  Part of him wanted to cry, but Levi was not a man who needed to be cried over, and the pair of them had certainly shed enough tears to last them a lifetime.  And so Eren just watched the man beneath him.  He watched Levi bite down on his lower lip, watched the long line of his neck as he tipped his head back, watched those bored grey eyes, which were anything but at the moment, flutter closed.

“Je t'adore mon amour,” Levi purred.  “Tu es parfait.  Tu me fais me sentir si bien.”

Eren whined, soft and sweet, mouth closing over one of Levi’s scent glands to suckle at it.  The raven lost his breath then, legs finding their way around Eren’s waist, tacitly asking for more.  Deeper.  Closer.  Anything.

“Can you come like this?’ Eren asked, voice unsteady.

“Yeah.  It’s…this is good.  This is good.”

Eren nodded, leaning up to kiss the raven, tongue delving into his mouth, tasting, reassuring, reaffirming.  He continued his steady push and pull, swallowing Levi’s quiet cries, a hand sliding over a creamy thigh and in between the two of them so he could stroke Levi’s neglected cock.

“You don’t have to…”

“I know.  Let me make you feel good, love.”

Levi let him.  He let himself give in, melting into the mattress while falling into green eyes.  He let himself take in the scent of sweet meadow grass and violets.  He let himself get lost in the taste of Eren’s mouth and the scent of his breath in his nose.  He let himself feel the warmth of sun-kissed skin and the fullness between his legs. 

He let himself feel…everything.  And it was suddenly all too much.  He was going to combust where he lay.  He was unidentifiable as just Levi anymore, because there was no longer a single soul occupying his body.  Everything was Eren now, and he hated it, and loved it, and was joyous, and terrified.

Levi’s orgasm would have seemed anti-climactic if taken in by an outsider, his mouth open and eyes closed, no voice to be heard.  His hips twitched only slightly, thighs squeezing around Eren’s body, the warmth of his semen running the length of his belly.  But in truth, it was the best orgasm he’d ever had in his life with Eren telling him how beautiful he was, stroking him through it, watching him with eyes that glittered like twilight and were so full of love it was almost maddening.

It took Eren longer to find his end, Levi having to encourage him not to stop.  The brunette was certain the raven was too sensitive for it, but Levi enjoyed it.  It was nothing compared to what he had experienced just a couple of days ago, and it was disturbingly pleasurable.  When Eren did finish, he did so with his teeth pressed to Levi’s scent gland.  Levi took it for what it was.

A promise. 

He'd told Eren that freedom was an illusion, but if such an illusion could be created by loving Eren, then there was nothing in existence that was more liberating.  And that was a beautiful thing.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Je t'adore mon amour - I adore you my love  
> Tu es parfait. Tu me fais sentir si bien - You're perfect. You make me feel so good


	31. Swallow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I'm soooooooooooooo sorry. I mean, it's fine, but, I'm reaaaaaaallllllly sorry.

“Well this is some fucking bullshit,” Levi stated plainly, leaning against the entrance of the outpost.

It was absolutely pouring rain and they could barely see in front of their faces.  It had been perfectly clear for four days.  Even their last day had dawned clear, bright, and warm.  But as soon as the pair had consumed a light breakfast and finished the last of their preparations before heading out, the heavens had opened and promptly pissed all over their plans.

“There’s no thunder or lightning, it’s just wet.  Get your gear wrapped up in a tarp with the rest of the supplies. I guess you get to transform a little early.  You can carry our shit in your hand, I’ll hole up in your ear like always.”

Eren wrinkled his nose but begrudgingly agreed, seeing to it that his 3DMG was safely stored away with their other things.  Levi would have to wear his gear.  Even with the chance of a titan attack being so low, they couldn’t risk it.  They had no horses and he had no defense beyond his blades, using Eren’s titan form as cover and an anchor for his grappling hooks.

“You ready, brat?”

“There’s one more thing, sir?”

“What is—“

Levi wasn’t granted the opportunity to finish speaking.  One of Eren’s arms was already around his waist pulling him close before he was kissed.

“I love you.”

“I—thank you?”

Eren stared at him, incredulous, before bursting into laughter and kissing his cheek.  After all they’d been through the past few days, all the confessions and emotions and general insanity, Levi said “thank you”.  The brunette couldn’t even be mad.  It was adorable.

The alpha continued his snickering as he made his way out into the rain, turning to face Levi before he transformed.  He raised his thumb to his mouth and as he bit down, blood welling up over his tongue, he heard, “I love you, too!”

And steam engulfed him.

Levi watched the lightning strike, felt the burst of hot air as steam formed and wrapped around Eren, felt the ground rumble.  And then all was quiet, nothing but the sound of the rain beating down against the treetops reaching his ears.

The raven felt something in the air.  Something moving towards him.  Though he very well knew what it was, he still found himself mildly startled when a monstrously large pair of green eyes appeared in front of him.  It was only Eren, but Levi was immediately reminded of how afraid people were of him.

“Fools.”

Eren emitted a soft hiss, one that Levi had learned to interpret as confusion, and we waved the brat off, telling him not to be concerned.  He turned to close and lock the outpost door, and then walked out into the downpour and into Eren’s gigantic palm.  The brunette rose with great care, though he knew Levi wouldn’t fall, even as they rose up, and up, and up.

Once he was placed on Eren’s shoulder, Levi walked across the great expanse to stand in the shell of his ear.  He cupped his hands and yelled, asking if the younger could hear him.  He received a deep rumble in acknowledgement.  When asked if he had the rest of the supplies, Eren held up the bundled up tarp in his other hand for the raven to view.  The captain nodded then, and patted wherever he could reach before sitting down and leaning against the great wall of flesh that sheltered him.

“Let’s go, kid.”

Eren exhaled in what seemed to be a sigh, and it seemed rather silly coming from a titan, but Levi understood.  He did not feel regret, but would not deny the underlying sadness of leaving their love nest.  It was necessary, but that didn’t make it any less unpleasant.

“We’ll be alright,” the smaller murmured to himself as Eren’s body lurched forward to carry them home.

* * *

Even in the rain they were making good time.  Four hours in and they were just under a third of the way back to headquarters.  The rain had died down somewhat, but the terrain was water logged and mucky.  Eren also seemed to be tiring. Though he was well in control of his titan form.  Levi decided then that it would be best to take a rest and let Eren nap before they began the second leg of their journey.   

“Hey, brat.  Take a break, rest up.”

The titan opened its mouth, groaning low in the back of its throat and slowly began sinking down to its knees.  Eren was clearly exhausted, and Levi wished he had made him stop sooner.  But the alpha had always been stubborn and persistent, and as long as he was in control of the behemoth he was buried in, Levi hadn’t had any prior intentions of stopping him.

Eren had one gargantuan knee pressed into the soft soil when his head jerked upright.  Levi felt the ear he was resting in raise upwards and a growl reverberated through the titan’s body.  That couldn’t possibly be good.  The brunette turned his shaggy head to look behind him first, then left, and then…

“EREN!”

There was a titan crashing through the trees, heading straight towards the pair.  Its eyes were bulbous, seeming to rattle about in a head that was almost too large for its neck.  The upper half of its body was oddly put together with ribs that protruded and arms that were far too long for its torso.  Its waist was narrow and legs long and lanky, bowed inwards, and for all that its structure didn’t make sense, it still hurtled forward with a deafening screech.  Its intentions were obvious.

Eren looked to Levi, immediately concerned, but the raven had already readied his gear.  He hurtled off the giant’s shoulder, grappling hooks connecting with a nearby tree.  He brought himself up, up, up, and was making his way towards the titan when a yowl from behind him forced him to look back.  A giant hand reached out to snatch the raven from the air and he found himself being brought towards the gaping maw of a second titan.

“Fucking SHIT!”

Levi couldn’t get himself free.  He was fisted in the titan’s disgusting hand with his arms pinned to his sides.  Eren was roaring for all he was worth, scrambling to try and get to the raven, but he was intercepted by the first monster, tackled into the mud by a beast that was trying to tear his throat out.  It was the last thing the captain saw before the titan that held him captive tossed him towards its mouth, as if he were some sort of grape.

The last thing he heard was Eren’s titan squalling in anguish before he was encompassed in darkness.

* * *

All Eren could do was watch as Levi was tossed down the behemoth’s throat, and the moment it happened, he lost his mind.  A meaty hand reached out to shove away the first titan, who had already bitten a fair chunk out of his right shoulder and taken two fingers off his left hand.  His right hand, however, still had all five digits, and they curled into its face until the bones cracked.  Eren slammed its head into the ground over, and over, and over again until it laid still.  And then, for good measure, he tore off its arms, ripped the skin off its back from nape to lower thigh, and then bashed its already bludgeoned skull a final time beneath one of his feet.

Green eyes glowed with malice and he tore off towards the animal that had devoured his beloved, intent on killing it.  He slid to a muddy stop just before he reached it, watching as it clawed at its mouth and stomped about like a mad bull.  When it parted its lips to shriek, Eren saw something stuck to its hard palate.  A tiny bundle cloaked in green that had been saturated with blood and drool.  The beast also seemed to be missing a large chunk of its tongue.

_LEVI!_

The brunette charged forward, wasting no time in wrapping his hands around the titan’s neck and squeezing.  He squeezed and squeezed, and squeezed some more, taking the leviathan to the ground when its arms tried to catch him in their grasp.  Inside the titan’s mouth, a half drowned Levi clung to the swords embedded in the roof of the creature’s mouth.  He stabbed his way forward towards freedom, blood raining down on him, evaporating almost as quickly as it landed.

_EREN!_

He wasn’t going to die like this.  Not today.  Not after…he wasn’t going to die like this!  With the last of his strength he let his grappling hooks fly.  They found their mark in Eren’s neck and brought him through the enemy’s jaw, the edge of his cloak lost to sharp teeth.  He flew into Eren’s titan form’s hairline and wrapped himself in the strands, shivering and shuddering.  Grey eyes flicked over just in time to watch as Eren’s hands found their way inside of the other creature’s mouth and tore its jaws clean apart, its skull bent in half.  The victorious titan’s teeth then ripped out its throat, turned the body over, and shredded the nape, only for the corpse to be forcefully kicked away like so much trash.

Hurriedly reaching up into his hair, he held out his palm to Levi.  The raven fell into it gracelessly and didn’t complain when he was set high on a nearby tree, rolling himself onto his hands and knees just in time to vomit.  The brunette then emerged from the nape of his titan, scrambling up the back of its head to join Levi on the branch before the useless form fell to the ground.

“Levi?” Eren gurgled, disbelieving, his hands settling on a face covered in titan spit.

“Yeah, kid.  Still here.  It’ll take a hell of a lot more than that to kill me,” he gasped, coughing up something vile.

“Levi,” the brunette whispered again, clutching the raven so tightly the other male was rethinking his previous words.

“If you keep doing that, a titan will have actually killed me,” he wheezed.

Eren tried to laugh, but all he could do was sob.

“Levi,” he said a third time, staring into mercury, unwilling to let him go.

“Yeah, kid.  Yeah,” was all the captain said, returning the embrace.


	32. Rock

“We need to go,” Eren stated forcefully, fingers still tangled in his torn shirt.

“You need to rest.”

“We _need_ to _go_!  We can’t stay here!”

“No.”

“Levi!”

“NO!  I am your Captain, and I am giving you an _order_!  SIT!  DOWN!”

The shifter’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water before his face turned bright red.  Levi was fairly sure he was going to pass out as it was, but his present state seemed like it would hurry that result along.

“You can’t do that!” Eren growled.

“I can and I am.  You’ve been pushed past the point of exhaustion. You need to rest.”

“Le—“

The raven bared his teeth, a low growl echoing in his chest.  Eren quickly changed his tack.

“If more come, what do we do?”

“We deal with them.  But we can’t do that If you’re too shitfaced from a lack of rest.  You won’t be able to transform and then we’ll both be dead.”

“I thought you were,” the shifter said, almost too quietly to hear.

“I know.”

_I thought I was, too._

Eren had always known Levi’s death was a possibility.  It wasn’t new information.  Not by a longshot.  He’d seen him have some close calls over the last four years.  Humanity’s Strongest was just that…its strongest.

But he wasn’t invincible.

Eren needed him to be invincible.

“We’re about 8 hours out from the castle.  Beyond this tree line is open space that goes on for quite a way.  I figure it’ll take us about two hours to cross it with you in your titan form.  If we can make it through to the other forest, we can rest another couple of hours and make it back safely.”

“Yes, sir,” the shifter responded dutifully, slumping back against the tree trunk.  He stayed put when Levi climbed higher into the foliage to check their surroundings, a hand coming up to press at his still steaming orbital sockets.  That shit always stung when he exited his titan form.

“None incoming that I can see.  The ones we encountered were a bit far out from where we last documented the brutes wandering, but I think they were exceptions.”

Eren nodded once, eyes glazing over as Levi settled next to him.  He wanted to pull the raven into his lap, hug him, wipe away all the titan spit.  But he couldn’t.  They had to be soldiers first now, even though they were alone.  At this juncture they were on a mission, and their objective was to get home safely.  There was no time for romance, no place for it.

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop it.  You smell like hot garbage again.”

The brunette wanted to respond with a scathing retort, but what came out was, “I’m glad you’re still here to yell at me.”

“Me too, brat,” was the gentle response.

* * *

Levi kept watch while Eren slept, though the shifter woke so much that the raven was sure he was really resting up at all.  He had to reassure Eren more than once that nothing else was after them.  And as much as Levi wanted to be annoyed by Eren’s behavior, he understood.  It wasn’t just a matter of the younger being impertinent.  They hadn’t solidified a bond as mates, but there was a newly formed emotional tether present.  One that sent both their instincts into overdrive.  Eren was hardwired to protect and that instinctive focus kept forcing him into wakefulness.

It wasn’t until Levi finally gave in and sat down in the brunette’s lap that he could settle enough to nap.  The captain couldn’t afford to fall asleep, as one of them had to keep watch, so he busied himself by tracing his fingers over the shifter’s knuckles, scent marking him at random, and generally indulging himself with behaviors that were foreign, but satisfying.

Eren stirred, mumbling something about how he’d “kill every last one.”  Dreams about eradicating the titans.  It wasn’t something Levi was unused to hearing from him.  Whether he was awake or in a deep slumber, the captain had heard that same phrase uttered by the brunette many times over the years.  He probably should have been disturbed by the way it made him smile, but he instead found himself filled with pride.

_Strongest alpha.  Ours._

“Stop it,” Eren mumbled suddenly.  “Stop it!”

Levi turned, shaking Eren’s shoulder.

“No! Stop it!”

“Come on, brat, wake up.”

“MAMA!” Eren yelped as he woke with a start.  His eyes were wide and pained, confusion marring his features until he focused on sharp grey irises that watched him ever so cautiously. “Levi,” he finally exhaled.

“You alright?”

Eren averted his gaze, responding with a soft, “Yeah.”

“What is it?” the raven asked when Eren had been silent for too long.

“It’s nothing.  I…I just haven’t had a nightmare about her in a while.  It’s been a long time.”

“They never really go away,” Levi said candidly, gaze still on Eren’s downturned face.

Eren realized that it was the captain’s way of offering comfort.  A way of sharing a piece of information about himself while remaining discreet.  He could appreciate that. He _did_ appreciate it.  And he made sure not to fuss about it, choosing to look up and out over the horizon.  It blazed gold orange as the sun set, and he understood that they should be heading out soon.

“The supplies are over there,” Levi gestured towards the direction of their original scuffle, the corpses of the titans long gone.  “I haven’t gone over to check on them, but the bag looks unharmed.  Our food should still be good and your gear will hopefully be intact.  Let’s go fetch it and throw down some chow so we can get moving.”

“Yes, sir,” the shifter said brushing himself off as he stood.

“Come on, then,” the raven clicked his tongue, offering his back for Eren to climb on. 

Without his gear on, he was unable to descend from the tree tops, and so Levi had to offer him a ride.  Eren didn’t complain, grateful for the closeness, no matter how brief.  For a few fleeting seconds he was able to bury is face in onyx hair, still mildly damp from titan spit.  The reality that he’d almost lost the smaller branded itself in his bones and only made him all the more grateful that they’d survived another day together.

“Someday we’ll be able to more than just survive,” he murmured, his words swallowed up by the wind.

* * *

Night fell over the pair in short order.  They were two hours into the second leg of their trip, and vulnerable in the space of a wide open plain.  Levi had tried to maintain wakefulness but succumbed to exhaustion after his exertion from the earlier fight.  He slept soundly in the shell of Eren’s ear, curled up in a tight ball.  Eren was hypervigilant as they moved, constantly on the lookout for signs of trouble.

Thankfully, no other titans had appeared, but that didn’t provide any solace for the brunette.  He was prepared to destroy anything that tried to take Levi from him.  Any entity that dared try to interfere would be met with a cruel death.  He felt no sorrow for his decision.  Eren reminded himself over and over that he was Levi’s subordinate once again.  He would follow orders, he would show his captain the respect he deserved, he would _fight_ , because that was his use in the military.

Eren also knew that his days of selflessly serving mankind were over.  He would serve humanity as he had been ordered, but Levi would always be a priority to him.  Four years ago he likely would have accepted any order from his captain to leave him behind if need be.  He would have acknowledged his importance to humanity.  But now?  Levi flowed through his veins, was entangled in his soul, was etched into his bones.  He would save Levi over all others when push came to shove, because his instincts dictated that it be that way.

He only had control over so much of himself.  He didn’t trust that such control would be maintained if Levi were to meet his end because he followed orders.

Love was a son of a bitch.

A quiet groan, perhaps born of fondness, perhaps of sadness, slipped its way past the titan’s teeth.  Levi still slept.

_Rest, lovely.  We will keep you safe.  Always._

Eren managed to last another four hours in his titan form before he had to give in and call it quits.  He stopped where he stood in the midst of another forest, toothy mouth dropping open as he moaned.  The lack of movement roused Levi from his sleep and he quickly found himself on alert.  He hated the darkness.  He was used to it from growing up in the Underground, and that made him hate it all the more.  That Eren had been able to navigate them so much closer to the base in the pitch of night was remarkable.

“That’s enough for tonight Eren.  Let’s find some place to set up camp.”

The titan snorted and then reached out for Levi once more, taking the small man and depositing him on another broad branch.  Eren managed to put their supplies up with them this time before exiting his titan form.  He ended up collapsing atop Levi who made no complaint.  He only stuck his hand into a small opening in the tarp and fished out their canteens and some packets of nuts along with some chunks of venison that Eren had cooked up before they’d left the outpost.

Levi would have much rather found a spot to sleep earlier, but being out in the forest with no horses, even though titan habitation was almost nonexistent in the area, put him on edge.  He understood Eren’s desire to return to headquarters as soon as possible.

“Captain,” Eren exhaled, dragging himself closer to the smaller man.  He was absolutely spent, and even though Levi really couldn’t see him in the dark, the raven knew that he was flushed and sweaty, probably on the verge of delirium.

“Drink,” he commanded, pressing a canteen into the brunette’s hands.  He kept a grip on the canteen even as the shifter drank, waiting until he heard the sound of his swallowing slow to nothing before he pulled it away.

“Captain…” Eren repeated weakly, a shaky hand falling on his thigh.

Levi didn’t hesitate to pull Eren into his lap once he was safely situated against the trunk of the tree.  He crossed his grappling wires over the two of them and fired to anchor them safely together.  He couldn’t see the branch edge in the dark, and Eren was likely going to literally pass out any moment.  Levi didn’t need the kid to fall to his death after what they’d survived earlier.

Eren shivered against him, his face tucked into the raven’s throat.  Levi felt him inhale deeply before he released a shuddering sigh.  The captain allowed himself to kiss the boy’s sweaty temple and nuzzle his cheek, clutching him tighter.

“I’m sorry I…couldn’t make it…the rest of the way…” the shifter gasped, his breath little more than a faint wheeze.

“Rest, Eren.  You did well.  Just rest.”

“Levi…”

The captain squeezed his eyes shut, trying to filter away the thoughts that told him Eren wasn’t ok.  This wasn’t unusual behavior.  The brunette ended up in this state when he pushed himself too hard.  It was fine.  Eren was fine.

But his instincts were screaming at him.

_Protect our alpha!_

“I don’t know how,” Levi whispered into Eren’s sweat drenched hair, rocking him as best he could beneath their restraints.  “I don’t know how.”


	33. Bloody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look. Smut.

Levi sat with Eren pressed against him for hours.  His breathing was shallow and his heartbeat felt weak, but it was steady.  As long as the raven could feel the rhythmic thump when he sought it out, he didn’t worry.  The shifter was clammy and Levi did everything he could to keep him warm, arms wrapped tightly around him to share body heat.

Keeping Eren alive was a stressful but welcome distraction, detracting attention from the voices that were battling within him.  Eren had noted before they left that the last scents of Levi’s heat had dissipated, and, truthfully, as blissful as their last coupling had been, there had been an urge to fight Eren over position once they’d started.  It hadn’t been particularly strong with the newly formed omega voice having been at the forefront…but it was still there.

It worried him.  He didn’t know what it meant, and he was tired of his lack of understanding.  One voice told the raven to let Eren protect him while another demanded he protect Eren, no matter the cost.  Which one was he supposed to do?  How was he supposed to choose?  Did he even have to?  He could do both…couldn’t he?

“Que veux tu que je fasse, Eren? Je suis un gâchis.  Pourquoi m'as tu choisi?”

The captain tensed when the brunette responded to his voice, shifting against his smaller frame.  Eren’s breathing transformed from a barely there puff to a deep inhalation that was followed by an equally forceful exhale.  He squirmed in Levi’s lap, growling in frustration at their restraints, and the raven figured that perhaps Eren wasn’t fully aware of his surroundings yet.

“Oi!  Calm down, brat!”

The shifter immediately stilled.  There was a moment of silence, and then, “Where are we?”

“In a tree.  You put us here.  You remember?”

Eren frowned at himself before responding with an annoyed, “No.”  He never remembered things if he worked himself too hard in titan form.  His brain didn’t have the capacity to hold onto the memories and allow him to keep the gargantuan body functioning past a certain point.  He had limits, and he hated it.

“We’re only a couple hours from the base.  Maybe less.  I’m not exactly sure how far into the forest you’ve taken us.”

The shifter grunted softly.

“You alright there, Jaeger?”

“I really need to piss.”

“Well that’s bad news for you, because I sure as shit have no intentions of removing these cables.”

A plaintive whine escaped the brunette, followed by a frustrated growl.

“We’re at least 60 feet in the air, you’re not wearing any gear, and we can barely see in front of our faces.  If you really wanna die so badly, I’ll go ahead and turn you loose.  I mean, at least your bladder wouldn’t be full anymore.”

“With all due respect, sir, you’re an asshole.”

Levi laughed then.  Outright laughed.  Eren was disappointed that he couldn’t see it, because it sounded absolutely beautiful.  He’d never heard the captain laugh before.  He’d heard him chuckle, chortle, snicker, snort (especially the last one)…but not laugh.  The shifter hoped it was something he could get the raven to do again.

“It’s gonna be a real shitfest when we get back, you know.”

“Yeah.  Hanji’s going to want to know everything.  Literally everything.  And I…”

“We’ll tell her what she needs to know.  Nothing more.”

Levi couldn’t deny that sharing much of what happened would be necessary.  It was truly important.  There were still too many unanswered questions, too much that was up in the air, too much that needed to be discovered.  But when it came down to it, the relationship he had with Eren was really none of her business.  It wasn’t anybody’s business, much as he knew people would try to make it theirs.

“My friends are going to hate me,” Eren whimpered, slumping against the smaller male.

“They’re not going to hate you.  They’re going to be too busy hating me when I tell them to scrub every inch of the castle with their fucking tongues.”

“That’s…won’t that make things dirtier?  That’s incredibly unsanitary.”

There was a long silence, followed by Levi awkwardly shifting beneath the brunette.  A tiny gasp let him know he’d been found out.

“Are you actually turned on right now?”

“…Sanitation is no laughing matter,” Levi responded coolly.

It was Eren’s turn to bark a laugh, exclaiming, “You’re worked up because I said something was dirty!”

The raven grumbled a weak, “Shut up,” in protest.  He was clearly embarrassed.

Eren took pity on him, reaching out carefully in the darkness in search of Levi’s face.  He knew he found his mark when the captain let out a shout.

“That’s my eye, you moron!”

Eren nearly fell out of the tree in spite of the restraints, cackling with delight.

“Fuck, I love you.”

“Well thank shit for that, or this would be complicated.”

The brunette could feel Levi’s eyes rolling, and he snorted once more before carefully arranging himself against the raven’s torso ago, emitting a long sigh as he tried to fall back asleep.

“Hey, Levi?” he intoned, voice serious.

“What is It, brat?”

“I still have to piss.”

* * *

The very moment dawn broke, the men were up and moving.  They scarfed down the last of their bread and meat, and Levi instructed Eren to gear up.  The boy looked confused, but the captain refused to have a repeat of the previous night.  He had come to realize that in the four years that Eren had been in the custody of the Corps, not once had he seen to Eren’s care after he’d pushed himself too hard.  He’d cut him out of the titan when necessary, yes, but he was never the one to see to him afterwards.  All he’d ever done was check to make sure their asset was still alive.

He was disgusted with himself.

He wasn’t going to take the chance again.  Not when he didn’t truly know what to do.  Walking that razor’s edge of panic had been more than enough for him.  The thought terrified him more than when that titan had tried to swallow him.

“I know it’s only been a few days, but it feels almost strange to be wearing this.  A good sort of strange, but still…”

Levi nodded in understanding, securing his own straps as a few had come a bit loose.  He needed to give it a good once over once they got back.  Even though he took immaculate care of his harness, pieces still needed replacing from time to time.

“Leave the tarp.  We don’t need it and it’s too bulky to carry.  There’s only one thing in there that we need and I’ll take care of it.”

“Yes, Captain.”

Levi grabbed the lone item he had mentioned, tucking the burlap into a small pocket in his cloak before turning to Eren.

“What’s in there?” the brunette queried.

“Nothing that you need to worry about,” Levi replied, dismissive.

Eren frowned, but didn’t argue, securing his last couple of buckles before noting his readiness to depart.

“Let’s fly, kid.”

And with that, the raven fired his grappling hooks and shot off into the forest.

Eren grinned as he followed his captain through the greenery.  It felt good to have the wind in his face and whipping through his hair.  He even welcomed the sting of random twigs that weren’t avoidable.  But what he loved most was careening through the air beside Levi.  There was no picture more beautiful than that of the raven owning the air.

Except, perhaps, the faces he made when he was beneath Eren.

Eren wanted to see Levi make those faces over and over again.  Wanted to hear him breathless beneath him…or above him.  It would be rewarding all the same.  He wanted Levi to wear him on his skin, and to be able to do the same.  Though he hadn’t said anything at the time, too busy consoling the raven to acknowledge his own pain, when Eren had laid down after their second time together, he’d laid his hand over the rapidly healing bite mark he’d received, sorrow settling deep in his gut.  He wanted everybody to know that he belonged to Levi.  He wanted that more than he wanted people to know Levi belonged to him.

He alighted on the next branch he came across, forcing Levi to turn back for him.  The captain was clearly annoyed, but Eren wasn’t capable of being bothered by it at the moment.  His inner alpha was chanting at him now, demanding to be marked and claimed.  It wasn’t something he could ignore.  Not even if he tried.

“What the hell are you stopping for?”

“How far are we from the wall?”

“I don’t fucking know! Not far.  Why the fuck does it matter?” Levi spat, exasperated.

“I need you to mark me.”

“We’re not having sex out here.  We don’t have time for…”

“That’s not what I’m asking for,” Eren cut him off.  “It’s not…I need you to do this for me.  I can’t stand it that you’re covered in my marks and I have none of yours,” he finished, eyes hard.

“They’re only going to heal again,” the raven spoke gently.

“I know.  But…people will see them before they do.  They’ll know.  I need them to know.  Levi…please.”

Levi’s nose wrinkled as he scowled.  He understood where the brat was coming from.  The bite wounds in his flesh were healing and he was covered in a myriad of purples, greens, and yellows, but they were still highly visible.  They still made note that, even without the bonding marks, Eren had laid claim to him.  The brunette bore none, and it bothered Levi more than he cared to admit.  The combination of hurt and determination on the alpha’s face was enough to allow the raven to make a decision.

“What are you doing?” Eren yelped as Levi dropped to his knees to start working at buckles of his harness.

“What you asked me to.  Now get rid of your shirt.”

“But…”

“Look. If I don’t do it this way it’s just biting, and I’m fairly sure that’s not what either of us wants, right?”

That was all the convincing Eren needed, and he was half naked in short order, pants and underwear rucked down just enough to give Levi access to his crotch.  He probably should have been turned on by the sight, but Levi looked too calculating for his current position to be sexy.  It made Eren hesitant to continue, but when the raven’s lips closed around a dick that was still soft, the brunette changed his mind.

The grimace Levi made couldn’t be missed, and Eren couldn’t blame him.  They were both sweaty from using their gear, and aside from a quick rub down in a stream they passed along the way they hadn’t gotten to bathe since their departure.  Levi settled in well enough though, his displeasure ebbing away to something carnal, a moan leaving him as Eren hardened on his tongue.

“Shit,” the shifter exhaled, raising his eyes to the green canopy, hesitant hands finding their way into Levi’s hair.

The captain hummed and then pulled off Eren’s cock to place a sharp bite along his inner thigh.  His hand kept working at stiff flesh as he bit the opposite side, lapping at the bloody wounds before taking Eren in his mouth again.  Grey eyes flicked up to take in the brunette’s face as his own hand dropped between his legs to rub at the hardness there.  Levi hadn’t removed his own harness, so an orgasm wasn’t in the cards for him.  Even though he felt mild annoyance, it was overshadowed by the bliss that overtook Eren’s face.

Levi took the full length of Eren’s cock down his throat, relished his cries as he swallowed around him, and then leaned up to place two quick bites just above his hip.  Crimson beads quickly turned into small rivulets that wound their way down tanned skin and Levi couldn’t deny the immense satisfaction he felt. 

“So pretty,” he drawled, tongue laving up the blood.

“Levi, that’s filthy,” Eren grinned, pupils blown wide with excitement.

“You’re filthy,” he returned casually, biting the other side of the alpha’s ribcage before flipping him towards the tree trunk.

“Ah!” the shifter gasped, surprised when Levi’s hand closed around him again, his strokes long and languid.

Levi jerked Eren slowly, hand twisting around the head before dipping to lightly squeeze at his balls.  Each time the brunette moaned he was rewarded with a bite and the raven had him making nose almost nonstop.  His torso bore the indents of Levi’s teeth, the wounds deep and stinging, blood smeared all over his back and sides.

“So good…” Eren shuddered.  “It’s so good, I wanna come.”

“Yeah?” Levi teased, hand slowing.  “Earn it.”

A soft whimper reached Levi’s ears, but the older male only chided the boy for it.

“You want to come so badly?  Fuck my hand.  Earn it.”

Eren complied without thought, hips immediately pistoning forward, groaning at the delicious friction.  Levi was molded his back, grinding himself against the alpha’s ass, his mouth alternating between kissing sweat slicked skin, creating new bites, and lapping at the ones that were already there.  His hand was tight around Eren’s cock and it was all so…so…

“Fucking hell, I’m gonna come.  Levi, I…I can’t, I gotta…”

“Come on, brat, do it.  Make a mess,” Levi rumbled, his free hand sliding up into Eren’s hair to pull at it roughly.  "Filthy little shit."

The brunette choked on air and arched his back, hips still driving into Levi’s slick palm.  He changed the length of his thrusts to focus just on the head, and finally Levi twisted his hand just so, right as he bit down on the juncture of Eren’s neck and shoulder, and the alpha lost it.  He dropped to his knees with a soft cry, leaning back into Levi’s grasp as his release covered the small hand that surrounded him, milking him the rest of the way through it.

“Disgusting,” Levi murmured, though he sounded anything but displeased.  "Better?"

“Shit, yes,” Eren sighed.  “What about you?”

“Nothing I can’t handle.  Come on.  Let’s get back before those fade.”

“Levi,” Eren smirked, “are you excited for people to see your handiwork?”

“I’m sure they all know already.  Or at least suspect.  I’m not dealing with rumors, so they may as well fucking see it,” the raven groused halfheartedly.

The shifter only smiled wider as he tucked himself away and put his shirt and harness back on.

“So romantic, my love.”

Levi rolled his eyes and shoved his way past the alpha, yet again setting off without waiting for his counterpart.  He hoped that his blush wasn’t visible.

_We marked him well.  They will all see._

Yes.  They would all see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Que veux tu que je fasse, Eren? Je suis un gâchis. Pourquoi m'as tu choisi? - What do you want me to do, Eren? I'm a mess. Why did you choose me?


	34. Between

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a filler chapter basically. I'm really not happy with it, but a transition was needed. Not a lot happens. Y'all will enjoy 35 & 36 though, I promise :)

It took less than twenty minutes for the pair to finish the final bit of their trek, the castle appearing on the horizon as they flew.  Levi descended through the tree line quickly with Eren following suit, allowing their momentum to carry them forward as they landed in the grass.  When they were able to slow to a walk they did so, halting before they entered the grounds.

Eren was a wall of tension.  Levi could smell it on him.  He was sure he didn’t smell any better.  Their carefree time together was over now, and that weighed heavily on them both.  But they had duties to uphold.  They couldn’t afford to be childish about it.

“Come on,” Levi mumbled.

“Aren’t you a little worried?” Eren questioned before the raven could step forward.  “Aren’t you concerned about what they’ll think?  How they’ll react?”

“No, because it doesn’t matter.  I’m still their captain, and they _will_ obey, even if I have to beat the shit out of them to remind them who is in charge.”

_We are not weak._

Levi was lying to some degree.  Of course he had concerns.  How could he not?  His subordinates were likely to be confused.  Some may even feel betrayed, thinking he had lied to them all this time.  He most assuredly hadn’t.  He had been an alpha.  And even if he _had_ lied, he had always been a strong and capable leader.  Why should their view change just because he wasn’t as they thought?

The raven clicked his tongue and walked on, Eren following dutifully behind him as always.  Though the marks on his torso were currently hidden, blood had seeped through the material of his shirt, and his neck and shoulders clearly showed Levi’s marks.  He held his head high, making sure they were shown off as they made their way inside.

As they moved through the corridors the people they passed murmured, some expressing greetings and noting their happiness of the pair’s return others gasping in surprise and stepping aside.  All of them stared at the bites the duo sported.  While Levi kept his eyes forward and ignored the bystanders, Eren’s darted left and right, monitoring those present.  Though his scent was neutral, his posture was that of an alpha on high alert.  He was protecting his omega, and Levi was well aware of it.

He didn’t ask the alpha to stop.

Even if the raven had told him to knock it off, Eren wouldn’t have been able to.  The instinct was far too strong to be completely ignored.  But as long as the brunette didn’t unnecessarily bash anybody’s face in the captain could look past it.  He would have been lying to say he didn’t find it comforting.  Endearing even.

“Where are we going?”

“To see Commander Eyebrows and let him know we’re not dead.”

Eren scrunched up his nose, displeased with the answer.  Realistically, he knew where they were headed and shouldn’t have even bothered to ask, but he had hoped…well, what had he hoped for?  They weren’t at the outpost anymore.  Levi had been clear about what would happen when they returned and how they would conduct themselves.  The raven wouldn’t go back on his word and Eren wanting him to didn’t negate the fact that he knew the smaller was right.

“Hurry up.  I want to get this over with so I can shower.  I’m still covered in titan slobber.”

“But you’re dry, sir.”

“Irrelevant.”

They turned a corner, walked down another corridor, and when they arrived at the Commander’s office Levi barged in, Eren cautiously following behind.

“Oi, Eyebrows!  We’re back!”

Erwin didn’t even look up from his paperwork, continuing to write as he said, “So I see.  All in one piece even.  Shower and report to Hanji at your earliest convenience.  And by your earliest convenience I mean, “As long as you can avoid her”.”

Levi only waved the commander off with a flippant, “Whatever,” and turned to depart.  He wasn’t interested in staying any longer than necessary.

Eren moved to follow, but was halted by the blonde asking him to hang back.  The brunette just barely suppressed a growl.  He was unable to hold back the whine that surfaced when Levi casually left the room without even bothering to look back.

He did his best to keep his face a neutral mask, but Eren wasn’t Levi.  Eren was easy to read and between his eyes going hard when they fell on the commander and his scent giving way to the low burn of quiet fury, it was evident that he was upset.

Erwin pushed himself out of his chair, casually moving around his desk to stand before the shifter.  He looked him up and down, and then directly in the eye.  A small challenge.  Eren wisely didn’t respond, save for a twitch of his lip.

“You’re still sane.”

“I am, sir.”

“Do you think you’ll stay that way?”

Eren opened his mouth to answer in the affirmative, but then hesitated, answering with a quiet, “I don’t know sir.”

Erwin only hummed, eyes roving over Eren’s form before he spoke again.

“Go see Hanji.”

“I thought I was supposed to shower and see her when I was ready?”

“That’s what I told Levi to do.  _You_ , are going to go see Hanji.  Now.”

Eren snorted, but didn’t bother to dispute the order.  He didn’t need to cause trouble, even though he itched with the need to vent his current frustration.  The shifter chose the mature option and offered the commander a salute before exiting the office.

“What did you two do to each other?” Erwin muttered at the closed door.

* * *

Levi had been standing in a shower stall for the better part of ten minutes, unable to make himself turn it on to wash.  Yet again he was filthy, covered in a thin film of titan juice (because that whore’s bath in the stream barely made a dent in it), sweat, and general man-stink…and he couldn’t make himself bathe.  Why?  Because underneath all the gross was still the heady scent of Eren.

_Alpha doesn’t like us dirty._

_“I_ don’t like me dirty.”

_Wash._

“I can’t.”

_Alpha will be angry._

And then Levi whined.  It was high pitched and distressed, and not a sound he’d ever made prior to the events at the outpost.  He hated it.  He hated himself for it.  He just wanted to be clean.  Clean and unburdened.  Was that so much to ask?

_Wash._

With a hesitant hand, the raven reached out, turned on the water, and sighed when the stream hit him.  It was absolutely frigid, but the sting of the droplets took his mind off the betrayal he felt he was engaging in.  It numbed him to the idea that Eren would be upset, even though he knew for a fact that the alpha would be far more upset with him remaining dirty and uncomfortable.

_He can re-scent us.  We are marked._

“Marked,” the captain mouthed to himself, fingers gliding over his body to press into bruised flesh.  Scabs littered his skin where Eren had bitten him, and he was a veritable rainbow with all the contusions.  Soreness had finally settled in his lower back and he considered the fact that Eren could well have knocked his spine out of alignment.  The thought made him smile in a most lascivious manner. 

At the same time, he recognized that discretion was of utmost importance, and he needed to figure out a way to satisfy or ignore his strange new need.  It didn’t matter that he understood the biological basis for his feelings (though it was in the most basic of terms), he didn’t like how he felt dependent on Eren.  The captain was his own man, more than capable of caring for himself, and he wasn’t willing to allow his instincts to affect his standing within the ranks.

He would have to see Hanji sooner rather than later to enlist her aid.

God damn it.

 


	35. Intrude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of Hanji interactions! Poor Eren.

Eren trudged through the castle to Hanji’s lab, scrubbing at his hair in agitation.  As much as he liked Hanji, he really wasn’t in the mood for her antics.  The alpha felt bereft without Levi by his side, and the ache in his chest was nearly unbearable.  But he’d promised Levi he wouldn’t cause trouble and would remain obedient and respectful to the chain of command.

Heaving a sigh, he rapped on the laboratory door twice.  He barely had time to blink before he heard his name screeched and he was being pulled through the entryway and into a giant bear hug.

“EREEEEEEEEEEEN!!  I’m so glad to see you!  You made it back safe and sound!  Ohhhhhh, you’re marked up so pretty!”

The brunette blushed, offering a tired smile.

“Hey, Hanji.”

“Where’s Short Stack?” the scientist asked, relinquishing her hold.

“Not sure,” he lied.  There was no need to set Hanji on Levi straight away.  They were both exhausted, Levi most assuredly moreso than himself.

“Damn!  I wanted to get some blood samples and make notations on his marks.  You _did_ mark him, didn’t you?” she asked slyly.

“Yes!” the shifter snapped, chest puffing outwards.  The insinuation that he wouldn’t mark the raven, as if he weren’t good enough for Levi (or Levi for him), put him on edge.

Hanji blinked and shook her head, studying the alpha carefully.  He was tired and obviously stressed, and it would be in her best interest to tread carefully.

“Come on.  Get out of your gear and let me have a look at you.  It looks like you’ve got some fresh bites, eh?”

Eren only tipped his head upwards, proudly displaying the visible bites.  He made quick work of his harness and shirt, discarding both on a nearby chair.  Green eyes tracked the other brunette around the room as she searched for a notepad, cringing when a stack of papers toppled over.

“Is that…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Hanji waved her hand, unconcerned.  “First things first!  Let’s take a look at those before they heal over!”

And then Hanji was in his space, marking down in her notepad every single bite and bruise he had.  Though Eren was normally quite tolerant of her behavior, he was having a hard time with the intrusive nature of her study.  It was a necessity, but that didn’t mean he had to like it.

“Calm down, Eren.  It’s alright,” the bespectacled woman suddenly spoke.  Her voice was soothing, eyes focused on the floor, hands at her sides.

“Huh?” he said, confused.

“You were growling,” she noted, carefully lifting her gaze upwards.  She chose to focus on his mouth rather than his eyes to minimize the chance of him feeling threatened.

“Was I?” he frowned.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

She patted his forearm gently and smiled, murmuring a soft, “I know,” before retreating to her desk.  “Now tell me,” she continued, “how long ago did he mark you?”

“Forty minutes, give or take.”

“Ahhhh, had yourselves a little tryst in the woods did you?  Salacious!”

“It’s not like that!” Eren snarled, bringing a hand to his chest as he tried to calm himself.  “Sorry.  I don’t know why I…I just feel really…”

“I understand.  It’s really ok.”

“I asked him to mark me on the way back.  He did it before when we…” the brunette trailed off, biting his lip.  He didn’t want to share that part.  That was between him and Levi.  “It healed too quickly when he tried before.  I wanted to wear him on my skin, too.”

“You’re slowing the healing down, aren’t you?”

“…Yes.

He needed them to see.

“What was his behavior like while you were with him?”

Eren sighed, rubbing at the back of his neck, taking the time to gather his thoughts before he said, “He was the same as any omega in heat, really.  Just angrier.”

“Because Levi.”

“Because Levi,” Eren agreed. “Although,” he started again, “there was one point where I helped get him to bed.  I went back to my own room after giving him some of that herbal tea you sent along, and some time during the night he came in.”

“And?” Hanji’s eyebrows raised, eyes going wide with excitement.

“I don’t know how to describe it.  He didn’t seem to be in control of himself, and he spoke in French.”

“HE SPOKE TO YOU IN FRENCH!?!?”

“Uh, yes?”

The scientist squealed and excitedly stomped her feet, fists drumming her thighs.

“Go on, go on!” she encouraged the alpha.

“I was still lucid when he crawled on top of me.  When he looked at me, his eyes were glowing.”

“Glowing?”

“Yeah, like you said mine did.”

“Did anything happen after that?”

“No.  He wasn’t in his right mind.  I wouldn’t…he couldn’t say yes.  The rut took over, but I didn’t touch him.”

“And he didn’t touch you?”

Eren shook his head.

“Fascinating!  How did you manage not to?”

“Once I came to?  Scent marking.  Lots of fucking scent marking,” the shifter grumbled.  “It was the only thing that settled him while he was delirious, and it was all that kept me from…it kept him safe.”

“How long were you there before you two mated?”

“Two days,” he whispered.  “Do we have to keep doing this?”

The shifter was barely holding back tears, a heavy combination of anger and embarrassment weighing him down.

“Yeah sweetie, we do.  I know this is hard, but we do.”

“Why?” he asked, glassy beads slipping down his cheeks.  “Can’t this just be mine?”

He felt violated, and the rage was simmering just beneath the surface of his skin along with the growing compulsion to let it out.

“Oh, Eren,” Hanji stood only to sit again, noting the alpha’s scent.  Sulfur and smoke.  Anger and shame. 

“I waited for something that I thought I’d never have, and now you want to try and…what?  What is it you want?  And _why_?  _Why_ do you need to know?”

“Because I want to help him.”

“He’s fine!”

“He’s not fine, Eren.  He’s scared and he’s vulnerable.  He needs to be on suppressants, and I’m not even sure the ones we have will even work.  I still don’t know if he’s actually an omega, an alpha that’s masking as an omega, an omega masking as an alpha, or if he’s both.  I’m not going to pretend that this isn’t fascinating to me.  That it’s not exciting.  It is.  But you’re also my friends, and I want to help you.  I want to help him.  Let me help.”

The alpha sniffed and tried to swallow.  It felt like there was a boulder in his throat.  He swiped his forearm across his eyes, trying to will the tears away as he reiterated his earlier answer for her.

“Two days.  He begged me to do it.  He was hurting too much.”

“Were you mentally aware of what was happening?” the doctor asked, pen flying across her notepad.

“Only the first part.  The rut took over before I…”

“Penetrated him?”

Eren growled out a rough, “Yes.”

_Tread lightly, Hanji._

“Did you manage a successful tie?”

“Yes.”

“Any idea how long it lasted?”

“No.  We were still tied when I woke up, but that’s all I remember of it.”

“What happened after you separated?”

“I tried to get up to draw us a bath.  He hates being dirty.”

“Tried?  You weren’t able to do so?”

The brunette shook his head, recounting how Levi refused to let him out of his sight.

“What happened instead?”

“Fucked again.  He spoke a lot of damn French.”

“Anything else?”

“Nothing out of the ordinary for an omega in heat.  He really wasn’t a fan of the hormone induced crying.  He had a rage cry over it,” the shifter chuckled wryly.

“Did you produce another knot?”

“I got him again, yes,” Eren exhaled, gaze far away and glassy.  “I managed to get him in the tub after that.  And I got to explain why it felt like his bones were being ripped out of his body.”

“Fuck.”

“Understatement.  I can’t believe he let me touch him again at all.  He was…not happy.”

 “How many more times did you mate after that?”

“Twice, I think?  So, four altogether.”

“Ties each time?”

“No,” the alpha shook his head.  “Not the last time.  He’d stopped cycling by then.  Wasn’t producing slick anymore.”

“He let you have him even after he was out!?” Hanji popped up from her chair, ignoring the shifter’s growl.

“This is _amazing_!  Holy shit, this is absolutely incredible!”

The scientist’s enthusiasm made Eren glad he left out the part where Levi took the opportunity to fuck him.  He was keeping that to himself.  If Levi chose to share that information, that was fine by him, but Hanji wasn’t going to hear it from Eren.

“Can I go now?” he rumbled, voice clipped.  His patience had run out and he wanted to do nothing more than shower up, find Levi, and make sure he was properly scent marked.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah!  This will go a long way in figuring out how to keep the captain in fighting shape!”

Eren only nodded, offering a salute that Hanji barely acknowledged, and slipped out of the laboratory to find his captain.  He found himself growing desperate, and what had begun as a restrained walk quickly turned into a purposeful run.  He wanted to squash the sensation that felt like his heart was being crushed.  Wanted to douse the fire that burned in his belly and made his palms itch.  He couldn’t stand it, was embarrassed by it.  Levi would hate him for his lack of control.

_I can’t make it stop._

* * *

When Eren reached the door to Levi’s private quarters, he banged twice and waited for an answer, shifting from foot to foot and biting back whine after whine that threatened to pass his lips.  When there was no response, he banged again, desperation making its way forth.

“Calm your tits! I’m coming!” came the familiar baritone, muffled by the door.

When Levi opened the door he didn’t seem terribly surprised by Eren’s presence.  He invited him inside without preamble, stepping aside for the brunette.  It was clear that the shifter was upset, though he was trying to hide it.  Too bad every time he was distressed he allowed his pheromones to leak through his personal barrier.

“You really need to do something about that smell,” the raven quipped.

“Sorry, I haven’t gotten to shower yet.”

“I highly recommend you get on that.  You smell like a fish cannery.”

Eren snorted and then stepped towards the smaller man.  He didn’t attempt to hug or touch him in any way, but he did catch himself snuffling at silky obsidian strands.

“You smell like soap.”

“Yes.  I showered.”

_It was a fucking ordeal._

“It’s nice,” Eren lied.

_Omega doesn't smell like us_

“No, it’s not,” Levi frowned. 

_Want to smell like alpha._

“Sir?”

“We’re alone right now.  Don’t call me that.”

“Yes…Levi.”

They stood there in silence for a good two minutes, both itching to touch, neither having the guts to do so.  Levi ended up breaking before Eren did, dragging his wrist over one of his scent glands before pressing it to Eren’s neck.  The sigh that the alpha emitted was nothing shy of blissful contentment.  The gesture was quickly reciprocated, Eren pulling Levi into his arms to rub his throat all over the raven’s hair before finally stilling and holding him to his chest.

Levi didn’t complain.

“Levi?” Eren spoke, voice just above a whisper.

“Yeah, kid?”

“It hurts.”

 


	36. Roar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This did not go as planned. I'm trying to figure out which direction to go. I guess if I'm confused, Levi also gets to be confused.

“Where’s your shirt?” was the first thing out of Levi’s mouth once he realized his face was pressed to naked flesh.

“My...?  Oh, goddamn it!”

“Seriously, where’s your shirt?”

“I left it in the lab,” Eren groused, realizing he’d to have to go back for it.  “Hanji wanted to look at my marks, and then she wanted to interrogate me about what we did.  I just left as soon as she said I could.”

“And you came here?”

“Yes.  I know I shouldn’t have, but my feet wouldn’t take me anywhere else.”

 _I needed you_.

Levi’s normally neutral mask twisted up into an expression of obvious discomfort.  He couldn’t stop himself any more than Eren could have prevented himself from arriving at his door.

“Son of a whore,” the raven cursed.  “Sit down, stay here.  Don’t go anywhere or talk to anybody until I get back, do you understand me?”

“Where are you…”

“Eren!”

The brunette dropped to the floor where he stood, looking up at the captain with wide eyes.  If it had been anybody else Levi would have kicked them in the face for being a smartass, but it was Eren, and Eren just reacted.  That was his nature.

“Don’t.  Leave.”

“Yes, sir.”

Levi didn’t bother to chide him for using the honorific.

* * *

In less than three minutes an angry raven was pounding on the door of Hanji’s laboratory.  It was locked, which was highly unusual.  Levi only knew it was locked because he had smashed into it with his face when he tried to storm in as he usually did.

“Oi!  Open this fucking door, Shitty Glasses!”

“Heyyyyyyyyyyy, Levi!” came the muffled reply.  “What can I do for you?”

“You can open this goddamn door,” he responded lowly.

“I feel like that wouldn’t be in my best interest right now.”

Levi could hear the smile in her voice, and that only made him angrier.  The worst thing about Levi’s fury was that the more upset he got, the quieter he became.  Judging by his present tone and volume there was a fairly high chance that the diminutive male would rip her head right off her shoulders.

“Open.  The door.”

“What do I get out of it?”

By the three walls!  The captain was certain he’d had an easier time conversing with four year olds!

“You get to live another day you four-eyed-titan-worshiping-freakshow!  Open the door or I’ll take it off the damn hinges!”

Uh oh.  That was not an idle threat.  Hanji knew it wasn’t an idle threat because he’d done it before.  She had no choice but to let him in, and so she threw open the door, caution flying in the wind created by the action.

“What did you do?” Levi rumbled as he prowled towards her, kicking the door shut behind him.  “What did you do to him?”

Hanji carefully moved backwards as Levi advanced on her, gasping when her knees hit the edge of a chair, causing her to fall.  The raven bent over her, hands on the arm rests, nose nearly brushing hers.  His general expression was devoid of emotion, but the thunderheads of his irises told the scientist all she needed to know about his current mental state.  His scent only supported his behavior, hanging sour and rank in the air.

“What’s wrong with Eren?” she swallowed heavily.  Normally she’d crack a joke, but now was most definitely not the time.

“He came to me reeking of fish guts and garbage juice.”

Hazel eyes blinked before she said, “Sounds like he just needs a bath.”  

So much for not making jokes.

“I will lay you open with a butter knife if you don’t explain yourself.”

Placating hands raised, hoping to ease the angry male away from her.  Levi reluctantly removed himself from her space though he still stared her down, arms crossed, posture rigid.  She averted her eyes and exposed her throat to him.

Fucking good.

“I asked Eren some questions.  He was…uncomfortable.”

“What did you ask him?”

“Some things I really need to ask you, too.”

He was going to kill her.  By Wall Sina, he was going to take her head and crush it like a grape in one of her maniacal contraptions and then have her corpse trampled by horses.

“That’s not very nice, Levi,” she muttered.

He didn’t look like he cared very much.

“Look, I promise I didn’t ask him anything beyond what I needed to know.  I mean, I _wanted_ to, but…”

“But?”

“He came in here already smelling stressed and looking like he’d been ridden hard and put away wet.”

“Watch it.”

“Sorry,” she coughed.  “In any case, I asked him things like how long it took you two to mate, how many times you tied, things he noticed about your behavior.  He’s just sensitive to it all right now.  He’s coming off a pretty intense rut and he’s…well, he’s Eren.  He’s like the cold sore of emotions.  Always open with things spilling out.”

“That’s fucking disgusting.”

“But accurate.”

Levi huffed.

“I swear he’ll be fine, Short Stack.  He just needs some time to cool down.  He left his shirt here when he rushed out, by the way.  Nice work on the marks.”

The scientist sounded smug and Levi wanted nothing more than to wipe the smirk off her face.  But still, he felt a strange—and not unwelcome—warmth in his chest when she complimented the wounds on Eren’s skin.  Somebody had seen them.  Somebody knew now that the shifter was his.

“So, since you’re here, can I give you an exam?” Hanji queried, taking her bottom lip between her teeth while clasping her hands hopefully.

The captain scoffed, but he consented anyway.  It was going to have to happen one way or another.  The resultant squeal Hanji emitted seemed it was high enough to break windows.  Thankfully, they all remained intact.  Levi questioned the integrity of his ear drums however.

“So!  Tell me what happened!  How was Eren while he was with you?”

“He didn’t rape me, if that’s what you’re asking,” the raven said bluntly.

“That’s not what I’m asking.  Still important information to have though.  Extremely so.  How did he behave when the rut took over?”

Levi screwed his nose up, thinking about how best to describe the strange encounters he’d had with the alpha.  The interactions had been startling, most assuredly, but…

“He wasn’t dangerous.  He seemed to spend a lot of time trying to protect me.  Hell, he was doing that whether the rut was in charge or not.”

“How so?”

“He was absolutely convinced the rut was going to force him to do what he didn’t want to.  But it never happened,” Levi admitted.  “He never even came close.  Not even when I…” the raven clicked his jaw shut.  He suddenly understood how Eren felt, because he didn’t want to report on it.  He’d given information on a great many embarrassing things over the years, but this wasn’t embarrassing, this was _theirs_.

“Levi?”

“No.”

“What?”

“No.  I’m not telling you this.  It’s not for you.”

“Levi…”

“No!” he yelled, voice cracking.  His lips were pressed in a firm line and Hanji watched as his eyes dilated and his scent turned into something bitter.

He was protecting himself.

“Hey, Short Stack.  It’s ok.  It’s alright, we’ll take a break.”

“What’s happened to me?” the captain questioned, more to himself than to her.  “Everything feels like…”

“A threat.”

Hanji’s eyes softened and she pressed a careful hand to the raven’s shoulder.  As a beta, her pheromones were quite weak, so she had nothing to offer him in the way of comfort in that regard.  All she could do was hug the smaller.  She was rewarded for her efforts with an annoyed growl.

“Let me help.  You two are both so damn stubborn, I swear!  Levi, I can help you if you just _let me_.  I know this feels intrusive, but I swear I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t important.”

Grey eyes blinked up at her, recalling those same words from when the whole mess had started.  He had to trust her.

"Alright.”

“Eren said you were there for two days before you mated for the first time?”

The raven could only nod.  Words were failing him.  He just wanted to curl in on himself.  He wanted to hole up and hide away with the alpha, where nothing could get to him.

“He said he was lucid for the first part of it and that the rut took over not long after.  Is that true?”

“Yeah.  But even with the rut in charge, he didn’t just fuck me.  He…waited.”

“Waited?”

“He waited until I said it was ok.  And then…”

“You tied?”

“We did.  Was one of the most excruciating things I’d ever felt in my life.”

“I’m sorry.”

“So was he.”

 The captain was slowly curling in on himself, knees tucked beneath his chin, arms hugged around his shins.  He wanted to disappear.

“Do we need to stop?” Hanji asked, concerned.

“No.  No, keep going.  If we don’t do this now it won’t happen at all.”

“Alright that,” the scientist licked her lips, preparing a fresh page on her notepad.  “You mated four times, correct?  With three ties?”

“That’s not right.”

“It’s not?” the brunette asked, surprised.  Had Eren miscounted?

“We fucked five times, tied four of them.”

“Huh.  Eren must have been mistaken.”

“Maybe?  I bottomed four times and topped once.”

“You WHAT!?” Hanji screeched.

Son of a _BITCH_! 

“You topped!?  He let you top!?!?  Did he fight?!  Did you tie!? Were you still in heat?!  LEVI I NEED TO KNOW!!!”

_FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!_

A voice inside Levi, one that wasn’t affiliated with either dynamic, was squalling in protest, chastising him for his grievous error.  A headache bloomed behind his eyes before he had a chance to allow the reality of his accidental confession sink in.

“Je dois y aller,” the raven spoke hurriedly, moving for the exit.  “Je ne peux pas le faire.”

“Wait, Levi!” Hanji yelped, reaching out to seize his wrist. 

He rounded on her in an instant, free hand seizing her throat and squeezing as he roared, “DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!”

The brunette clawed at his wrist, gasping for breath.  She landed in a heap on the floor when Levi finally relinquished his grip, hacking and coughing as she sucked in oxygen.  Hazel eyes looked up just in time to see horror written on a pale face before it hardened once more into contempt.  He stormed towards the door, opening it with such force that the edge cracked against the walls, leaving behind a disturbingly ecstatic scientist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Je dois y aller. - I need to go  
> "Je ne peux pas faire ça - I can't do this.


	37. Sting

Levi’s mind was reeling.  He couldn’t get out of the laboratory fast enough, brain buzzing in a combination of panic and red hot fury.

_Get out, get out, get out!  Away!_

But where?  Where to go?  He couldn’t go to Eren, not now.  And he most certainly couldn’t go see Erwin, for multiple reasons.  That choice would result in a bloodbath if Eren came looking for him, and it was highly likely Eren would come looking.  Stubborn fucker.

In the end, Levi made his way out to the training grounds.  He had managed to slow his gait to a deliberately intimidating strut, shoulders squared and head up.  It was clear that the raven was looking for a fight, daring anyone to challenge him as he strode past.

No one did.

More than the need to fight, the raven felt the need to move.   He’d left his gear back in his quarters and he certainly wasn’t about to head back to get it.  Not with Eren waiting there.  He could open himself up plenty without it anyway.  There was enough room for him to do as he desired without interference.

Stripping down to his trousers and removing his boots, he started traversing the dry ground.  High kicks, roundhouses, arm jabs and left hooks.  None of those movements required a partner in order for him to expend his energy.  He didn’t even need to feel the crunch of cartilage beneath his fist.  Not being impeded by another’s body was what he wanted right now anyway.

Kicks became aerial, and he indulged in some back flips and twists, watched the world turn upside down as he heaved himself into the air over and over again.  Brief moments of flight punctuated by the reality of gravity’s hold on him.

“Captain?” a voice called out in the still air.

Levi raised his head sharply, looking in the direction the sound had come from.  His eyes softened when he saw it was only Petra.  Though he was tempted to ignore her, he had truthfully exhausted himself.  Covered in sweat and breathing too heavily to continue, he just stood in silence and waited for her to say or do something.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Talking about it is what sent me out here in the first place,” he said, already understanding what she meant.

“Do you want to talk about it with someone who isn’t looking at you like you’re a puzzle?”

Grey eyes fell on the redhead, skeptical.  It was rather ridiculous, as Petra was one of his most trusted subordinates.  But that was just it, wasn’t it?  She was a subordinate, not a friend.  He’d never let himself get that close to her.  And yet, there she was, offering to lend him an ear.

He didn’t accept it.

“I’ll be alright.”

“You smell angry.”

“Astute observation,” he snapped.

She fell silent at his reprimand, taking the opportunity to look the bruised bites that littered her superior’s form.

“Eren did that to you?”

“Yeah, so?”

“They’re beautiful,” she said with a soft smile.

“I…they’re…” he began, unsure of what to say.  He settled on, “Thank you.”

“You’re still the same, you know.”

“Am I?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Petra, what have you heard?” the raven asked suddenly.

“Nothing that matters, sir,” she said.  “Rumors are rumors, and they’re frequently lies.  And, with all due respect, sir, even if they’re not, who gives a shit?”

A small huff of laughter escaped Levi then, the smallest of smiles gracing his lips.

“Dismissed,” he said, more because he needed to feel secure in his position than because he truly felt she was under his command in that moment.

“Sir!” she saluted strongly before departing.

“I’m still the same, huh?” the raven snorted, picking up his shirt and throwing it over his shoulder.  He donned his boots and headed towards the showers, ignoring the eyes he knew were on him.

* * *

When Levi didn’t return after two hours, Eren finally made the decision to go look for him.  The smaller male had been on edge when he left, and the shifter had concerns about his wellbeing.  There was no doubt in his mind that the captain had gone to the lab, and so, despite his misgivings, that’s where he headed.  He didn’t make it more than halfway before colliding in the hallway with Hanji.

“Eren!  Hey!  I brought you your shirt!”

“Have you seen Levi?” he asked, ignoring the piece of cloth she held out.

“No, but I need to talk to you about…”

“I need to find him.”

“It would really be best if you left him be for now.”

“Why?” the brunette questioned, suspicious.

“He’s not stable right now.  I…made a mistake.”

Green eyes narrowed dangerously, Hanji’s throat convulsing as she swallowed.  The shifter noticed the wince that followed, and then the thick bruise forming around her neck.

“What happened?”

“Like I said, I pushed him too hard.”

“He wouldn’t do that.”

“But he _did_.  And I know it’s not like him.  He was mortified when he realized what he was doing, Eren.  He didn’t mean to.  But this is why I need to talk to you.  I have to know what happened.  The fact that you’re more stable than he is is…concerning.  Especially considering you weren’t doing so hot in that department in the first place.”

The doctor’s statement was met with a deep scowl followed by a sigh of resignation.

“Fine.”

* * *

Hanji wasted no time in beginning her interrogation once they returned to the lab. Eren would have been amazed at her desire to continue to engage him if not for the fact that he was well aware of her obsession involving capturing titans. Nothing about her really surprised him much anymore.

“You lied to me.”

“What?  No I didn’t,” the shifter frowned.

“You told me you mated four times and tied three.”

“Yeah, so?”

“Levi says it was five and you tied four.  It just so happened that one of those times _you_ bottomed.”

The alpha immediately turned scarlet.  He told her?  _He_ told _her?!_   He’d tried so hard to keep things private, because he _knew_ that Levi was a private person.  So why did he…

“He didn’t do it on purpose, Eren,” Hanji said, seemingly reading his mind.  “It just slipped out.  And my being excited over it pushed him over the edge he was trying to balance on.  He’s not in full control of himself right now.”

“What do you need to know?”

“It’s a combination of things, really.  It’s not just what I need to learn from you, but what I already know, both about biology and Levi.”

“Eh?”

“You bottomed for Levi, a man who has been known as an alpha since he was thirteen years old.  A man who, despite being an alpha, has recently gone through a heat cycle and displayed the behaviors of an omega.  As an alpha yourself, neither one of those scenarios should have been acceptable to you.”

“I wanted him to.  I _asked_ him to,” the shifter spoke in a rush, defensive.

“But what were your instincts telling you?”

“That it was wrong,” Eren muttered, staring at his hands.  “It wasn’t wrong.”

“I’m not saying it was.  But what you and Levi did was completely unorthodox.  That he was not only able to do that with you, but able to do so with both of you ignoring your instincts, is profoundly fascinating.  You should have wanted to fight.  The instinct to dominate should have been stronger than it was.”

“We’re not animals.”

“Technically, you're right.  But it’s a scientific fact that omegas and alphas are far more susceptible to the call of their instincts than betas.  And you know how knots work for alphas.  While it's possible to tie anybody at any time, knots occur most often when an omega is in heat.  But even if it’s a one-night stand, a knot can be produced. The tie helps ensure pregnancy as well as serving as a physical reminder of the bond shared between a pair.  Omegas…don’t produce knots at all.”

“What are you saying?”

“I know that Levi’s produced knots on his own, without a partner.  They don’t commonly occur just through masturbating, but with the right mindset and focus, they’re possible.  I also now know that he managed to tie you.”

“So…he’s not an omega?”

“Well, that’s where it gets complicated.  Did he say anything to you while he was getting his freak on?”

Eren growled, purposefully curling up his lip to reveal a sharp canine.  A warning.

“He told me he’d never tied anybody before.”

“Really?  With all the partners he’s had?” the doctor mused to herself.  “Interesting.”

“All the partners he’s…” Eren trailed off, suddenly feeling small and inferior.

“Don’t get me wrong!” Hanji interjected hastily.  “The captain isn’t like that.  When he first came up from the Underground, getting his ruts under control was surprisingly difficult.  He was similar to you when he was just left alone to try and deal with them.  So we kinda had to nudge him in the direction of relief, know what I mean?”

Eren's face screwed up at the insinuation, responding with, “Levi slept with whores?”  

The idea was more confusing than it was offensive.

“Oh, Sina no!  He’d never!  You know how he is about cleanliness.  He had a…uh…how do I put this?  Kinda like a harem but not quite?  A few acquaintances he was close enough to that he could sate his urges with until the rut passed.”

“Oh.”

“But if he says he’s never tied anyone, I’d believe him.  It’s not that Levi doesn’t enjoy sex, as I’m sure you noticed, but it really wasn’t a high priority for him outside of his cycles.  He generally took care of things himself…”

“Sounds like Levi,” the alpha mumbled.

“Are you jealous?” Hanji grinned.

Eren stared her down and growled again, his inner alpha rejoicing when she bowed to him a bit.  He probably should have felt bad for doing that to a superior officer, but she knew damn good and well that she was on thin ice.

“He only has eyes for you, you know.  You don’t need to worry about it.  Even if he just came to realize it in the past week, the rest of us have watched him moon over you for at least two years.”

“Two…years?” Eren asked, heart aflutter. 

“Oh yeah!  Stares at you all the time when you’re not looking, watches you when you leave a room, when you enter it.  He started swearing at you more, too!”

“Who the hell swears at people _more_ when they like them?!”

“Levi,” Hanji shrugged as if it weren't unusual.  “In any case, you’re it for him.”

“I don’t even know where he is right now.”

“Short Stack’s probably just blowing off some steam.  Either cleaning or exercising.  It’s what he does when he’s upset.  Has to be productive even when he’s in turmoil.”

“He climbs trees, too.  At least, he does when I piss him off.”

“Aaaaaaaaand that brings us back to his behavior.  Can you tell me anything else that happened out there?  I promise I’ll keep my enthusiasm in check, but I won’t know how to proceed if you don’t tell me as much as you can.”

Eren’s hands curled into fists against his thighs and he took a deep breath before exhaling, considering his options.  He really didn’t have any, but it felt good to pretend.

“I don’t remember much of anything about our first time together because of the blood rut,” Eren said sadly, “but the second time, when I was in control…his eyes were glowing again.  Sometimes in between being together, I’d see the color flicker when he looked at me.  Like a lantern.”

“When did they glow brightest?”

The shifter flushed again, crossing his arms over his still naked torso and mumbling into his chest.

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you.  What?”

“When I was inside him, ok!?  Fucking shit,” the alpha snarled. 

_Danger!  Danger, dumb scientist!_

She was intruding on their privacy again.  It wasn't on purpose, but it upset Eren all the same.

Hanji chose to ignore the outburst, pressing her forefinger to her chin as she hummed in thought.

"When he bottomed the last time, was he still in heat?"

"No," Eren shook his head.  "He'd stopped producing slick, and he smelled like pine."

"Did he fight at all?"

"If he had, I would have stopped," the shifter snapped and glared.  "He chose to bottom."

“Really?  Well damn, good for you!  Most omegas fresh out of heat don't want anything more to do with the alpha they're with, mates or not," she chortled.  "I have a hypothesis, but…I won’t know if I’m right for a while.  I would suggest that you two carry on as normally as you can for now.  Give each other space when you need it, don’t crowd each other.”

The brunette nodded, taking Hanji’s words as a sign that their time together was over.

“There’s one more thing, Eren!” the doctor called as he stood at the door.  “I need you to convince Levi to come back here so I can give him a physical exam.  I’m fairly sure he’s alright in that regard, but mating is incredibly hard on the body, especially for an omega going through their first heat.”

“He’s not going to do that.”

“He’s going to have to.  You can be here if it’ll make you both feel better, but it’s imperative that I examine him, for his health.”

“And if I can’t get him to come?”

“Erwin will order it to be done, and that’s the last thing he needs right now.”

Eren scrubbed at his hair then, accepting his task to convince the raven to return to the lab to be seen.

“I’ll do the best I can.”

“Good!” she chirped.  “Go on, then!  Find your little lovebird!”

Green eyes rolled in a manner that was quite reminiscent of Levi’s brand of annoyance, and Hanji couldn’t help but smile as the shifter departed.

He was still shirtless.


	38. River

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi has another meltdown

Eren leaned against the cool stone outside of Hanji’s lab, head pressed against the wall, eyes looking towards the ceiling.  He was more confused than ever, and he couldn’t help but feel that if he was confused, that Levi was in utter turmoil.

“Fuck,” he cursed, pushing himself off the wall.

“Eren!” a cheerful voice called.

The shifter offered a lopsided smile and a tired, “Hey, Armin.”

“Where’s your shirt?” the blonde pointed at his friend’s tan chest, confused.

Eren turned his head towards the door, blinked, and then threw his hands up.  “Nope!”

“H-hey! Wait up!” Armin stuttered, rushing to follow after the alpha.  He was on the move…but to where?  “I’m glad you’re back.  We all missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” the brunette said, stopping to smile at the other man.

“Those are some nice marks,” the blonde smirked, blue eyes twinkling.

Eren simultaneously blushed and stuck his chest out, fingertips finding the wound on his hip.  It would close up in the next few minutes, but he was grateful that Armin was able to see them before they faded out of existence.  It was important that they be seen.

“I’m sorry,” Eren said, suddenly somber.  His smile faded and he looked down at Armin with sad eyes.

“What for?”

“Levi said…he told me that you guys came.  You, and Mikasa, and Jean.  He told me that I tried to…”

“Please don’t worry about it, Eren.  It wasn’t your fault.  We should never have been there in the first place.  But Mikasa was going to go out there on her own.  Jean and I couldn’t let her do that.  We’re the ones who should be sorry.  We _are_ sorry.”

“How’s Jean?” the alpha asked, concern written all over his face.

“Wow, you really are upset.”

“Hmm?”

“You didn’t call him Horseface,” Armin chuckled.  “He’s alright.   You broke his nose and fractured an orbital socket, but he’ll be ok.  He was pretty mad, but he ended up directing most of his anger at Mikasa once he regained consciousness.”

“I knocked him out!?”

“Mmm,” the blond hummed and nodded his affirmation.  “Honestly, if you hadn’t been trying to kill him, it would have been a little funny.”

Eren’s expression twisted into one of surprise, scrutinizing his friend as he said, “You have become one deranged little coconut.”

“I’ve been spending a lot of time with Hanji.”

“Too real, man.  Too real,” the brunette laughed, throwing an arm over Armin’s shoulders.

“Hey, were you headed to the showers?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You don’t smell right.”

Eren visibly blanched, eyes going wide.

“What are you talking about?”

Armin frowned at him, clearly unimpressed, and proclaimed that he smelled like a rotting deer carcass.

“Well that’s great!  Today I’ve been told I smell like a fish cannery and rotting meat.  Excellent! _Awesome_!  It’s not like I’ve been _out in the wilderness_ fighting titans or trying not to die!”

“Eren…” Armin spoke softly, brushing his fingertips over the alpha’s forearm.

The shifter shook him off and resumed his trek to the showers, intimating that he needed to be alone for awhile.  Armin didn’t argue.  He just stared after him, lips pursed, wondering if his friend was going to be alright.

* * *

Down in the showers, Levi was scrubbing away at himself for the second time. He was disgusting yet again.  Covered in sweat, and dirt, and something he was entirely unable to name.  All he knew was that he wanted it _gone_.  He wanted to see it swirl away down the drain, just like the grit contained in the water that sluiced down his body.  The raven was so engrossed with cleansing himself that he didn’t even notice the presence beside him.

“Levi?”

“Merde! Ça ne veut pas partir.”

“Levi,” the voice tried again, more forcefully.

“Pourquoi ça ne veut pas partir?! Je ne peux pas les laisser voir ça. Je ne peux pas les laisser me voir comme ça!” the raven spoke in frantic French.

“Levi!” the voice called out one last time, two warm hands alighting on his shoulders to turn him around.

Steel irises fell upon beautiful grassy green and Levi blinked, though it didn’t clear his vision any.  Water dripped into his eyes and he felt dazed and dizzy.  He couldn’t make sense of anything.

“It won’t come off,” he said.  His voice sounded incredibly far away, simultaneously hollow and tinny.

“What?  What won’t come off?” Eren asked.

“The dirt.  I can’t get it off,” the captain replied weakly, lifting up bloodied arms.  His fingers trembled and his pupils were dilated.  He had to be in pain, but he wasn’t registering it.

“Sweet Sina,” Eren exhaled. 

“I have to get it off,” was all the more Levi said before attempting to turn and grab his bar of soap.

“No.  No, Levi, it’s fine.  You’re plenty clean, alright?” the alpha spoke lowly, trying to keep himself calm so he could offer help.

“It’s not enough! Ce n'est jamais assez!” his voice shook, body leaning away from Eren’s to try and return to his task.  “S'il te plait! J'ai besoin que ça parte!”

It became apparent to Eren that there was no getting through to Levi at the moment.  He wasn’t particularly lucid, lost in the idea that he was somehow unclean.  Alpha voice would probably be effective in getting the raven to stop, but it wouldn’t actually solve the problem in the long run.  And he certainly wasn’t going to convince him to go see Hanji in this state.  Hell, he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to be able to convince him when he was completely present again.

Regardless, there was nothing for Eren to do but try and help the smaller male.  The best he could do was offer him a distraction.

“Hey, Levi, I’m pretty dirty.  Do you think you could help me?”

The raven watched him step under the shower spray, watched him pick up the bar of soap that was pink with his blood, watched him ineffectively use it to wash away the day’s hardships.

“You’re doing it wrong,” he grumbled, seizing the soap from Eren’s hands, efficiently lathering the bar before setting to work. 

He scrubbed at Eren’s head first, loosening all the dirt in his hair by pulling his fingertips through it.  The soap bar was then run through the strands as a crude means of shampoo, Levi meticulously picking through it and searching for any possible debris or little critters that may have tried to take up residence in the rat’s nest Eren called his hair.  The captain moved onto Eren’s neck, being sure to get both behind and _in_ his ears.  Eren bit back his protest.

Truthfully, Levi was being rather rough, but Eren assumed it was because he was distressed.  He just let the smaller have his way without complaint, tipping his body this way and that to gain better access to his gritty flesh.  Eren did admit to himself that some of the treatment felt great.  Levi’s scrubbing certainly did work away at the knots in his neck.

“Turn around,” the captain demanded, immediately setting to work on Eren’s chest once he’d done as asked.

Small hands skimmed over a tan chest, drawing over sore muscles and nearly healed mating marks.  His thumbs brushed Eren’s nipples and the brunette was grateful that those had ever been a hot spot for him.  They hardened under Levi’s touch, but it was a reactionary response not a conscious one, and Levi didn’t notice anyway.

The raven stopped when he reached Eren’s abdomen.  Well, he stopped washing.  He didn’t stop touching.  Thin, soap slicked fingers slid up and down along the ridges of muscle.  They dipped into the V of Eren’s groin, drew a path upwards, and then cascaded down his arms, following the trails left by water.  And then Levi was still.  He was so still that Eren wondered if he was still breathing.

“Je suis désolé.  This hasn’t happened in a very long time,” the raven swallowed, head bowed.  He was focused on his raw arms.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Eren spoke over still running water. 

“There’s a lot to be sorry for,” Levi muttered.

The alpha didn’t have an answer for that, so he did the only thing he could.  He crooned, sweet and low, allowing the water to beat down on them. 

When it finally became too cold for them to stand, they wrapped towels around their waists and made their way back to Levi’s quarters.  Eren bandaged Levi’s arms while the raven sat on the edge of his bed, face blank.  The brunette kissed pale hands, right in the center of his palms, and then stroked the backs of them with his thumbs.

“I should get down to the basement,” he murmured.  The idea of separating was literally physically painful, but it had to be done.

When Eren stood to leave, however, a gentle touch that wrapped around his fingers stopped him.  Levi was looking at him with glazed over eyes and he uttered a single word that conveyed everything he needed to say and couldn’t.

“Stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merde! Ça ne veut pas partir - Shit! It won't come off  
> Pourquoi ça ne veut pas partir?! Je ne peux pas les laisser voir ça. Je ne peux pas les laisser me voir comme ça. - Why won't it come off?! I can't let them see it. I can't let them see me like this.  
> Ce n'est jamais assez - It's never enough  
> S'il te plait! J'ai besoin que ça parte - Please! I need to get it off!  
> Je suis désolé - I'm sorry


	39. Confer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hanji and Erwin have a chat.

“Report,” Erwin said, the casualness of his voice deceiving.  He was making a demand, not a request.

“Levi is out of heat, Eren wasn’t consumed by the blood rut.”

“Continue.”

Hanji sighed, leaning against the wall near the commander’s door.  He wasn’t going to like anything she had to say about the duo.

“They didn’t complete the bond, but even so they are behaving like bonded mates.  They’re highly irritable towards others, edgy.  They feel a constant need to defend their bond and each other.”

“Are they a danger to anybody?”

“The potential is certainly there,” the brunette stated calmly, a hand reaching up to rub at her throat.  “Levi is the more volatile of the pair right now.  Eren’s doing surprisingly well keeping himself in check.  But thus far he hasn’t felt the need to lash out.  If someone were to threaten Levi, I don’t think he’d be able to maintain that control.”

Erwin hummed, leaning back in his chair, arms crossed over his broad chest.  His eyes flicked over to look at Hanji and his eyebrows raised a hair.

“There’s something you’re not telling me.”

She winced at the assertion and then sighed again.  There was no point in trying to trick Erwin, but she’d had to try all the same.

“I don’t think Eren was ever in blood rut.  He fell into a state that was similar, but not the same.  When Mikasa, Armin, and Jean arrived at the outpost, he was certainly upset.  All four of them, the aforementioned soldiers _and_ Levi, corroborated that he was exceptionally furious.”

“But?”

“But he didn’t actively attack anybody until he felt Levi was being threatened.  He was upset, but he made no attempt to harm.  And even when he had the opportunity, he didn’t kill any of them.  Jean certainly came back beat up, but he wasn’t near death.  Concussed with some fractures, yes, but Eren could well have crushed his skull if he’d had the inclination.”

“So why didn’t he?  And Ackerman is an alpha as well, is she not?  Why didn’t she respond in the same manner as Kirstein?”

“From what Mikasa told me, the day before Eren and Levi succumbed to their…predicaments, she did think that Levi smelled odd.  Good, even.  But as the day wore on, he started smelling sour to her.  When they met up at the outpost, his scent was like rotting oranges to her.”

“Related?”

“Most likely.  It’s the only plausible reason that she wouldn’t find his scent appealing.  Dynamics aren’t attracted to their own kin, even if they’re not aware of their relation.  It’s a biological failsafe to prevent genetic depression.  As for why Eren didn’t kill any of them?  Levi stopped him.  He ended up between Eren and Mikasa to try and stop the fighting, and Eren chose to protect Levi rather than fight.  Levi said that Eren just held him until the other three had taken the horses to come back here.”

“He just wanted them to go away.”

“Yes.  And beyond that, Eren then had the chance to take Levi.  He could have well fucked him, whether Levi wanted him to or not.  He didn’t.  His rut had completely taken over his body, and he never tried.  It happened at least twice more while they were out there, and Eren never touched him.  Not until he had permission.”

“So if he wasn’t in blood rut, then what was he experiencing?  It still wasn’t a normal cycle.”

Hanji shook her head, taking a moment to gather her thoughts before proceeding.  She had to do her best to keep her excitement in check, as as far as she knew, the information she was about to present was new.  Not just to Erwin, but to science.

“I believe that Eren fell into a state I call bond rut.  It’s similar to blood rut, but not exactly the same.  Blood rut is triggered when an alpha goes through too many rut cycles without breeding.  Of course we have suppressants, but with Eren’s titan biology, they were never effective.  That said, in hindsight, Eren has a setup that's similar to how Levi lived when he first came from the Underground and we couldn’t get his cycles under control.”

“Eren has fuckbuddies,” Erwin said, unable to help the small smirk that turned up a corner of his mouth.

“Eren has fuckbuddies,” Hanji confirmed.  “But he never sleeps with anybody outside of his ruts.  Once a month he goes on a biologically forced sex bender, but he otherwise chooses celibacy.  And it’s not like he doesn’t get offers.”

“And you know this how?”

“Legitimate research,” Hanji replied seriously.  “While I won’t deny being generally intrusive and a bit of a voyeur, it’s been important to my studies in regards to titan shifters.  Every rut cycle, for the first two years he was in our custody, he reported to me on his habits.  I tried asking for specifics once, but he got really pissy.  Beyond that, he's never wanted anybody other than Levi anyway.  His...interactions with others were only to sate his urges and keep himself in control."

Erwin’s fingers interlocked and he brought his elbows up onto his desk to rest, chin falling on his closed fists.  Always calculating.

“As flippantly as Levi behaved when they reported in, he smelled anything but confident when he left Eren behind in here.”

“Can you blame him?”

“If only.  I was grateful he was compliant.”

“Aren’t you always?”

“It was a hard fought battle.”

Hanji laughed.  She knew all too well what Erwin had gone through to tame the wild mustang that was Levi Ackerman.  And even then, that feral spark had always remained.  That vicious defiance that simmered at a low heat, waiting for a reason to boil over.

It had taken seventeen years, but it felt like the lid was about to blow off the pot.

“What are you thinking, Hanji?”

The brunette chewed on the inside of her cheek, and then set to work on her thumbnail, before saying, “They need to complete the bond.”

“If they don’t?”

“I don’t know.  This isn’t something I’ve ever seen before.  I don’t think anybody’s seen it.  Levi’s entire dynamic changed.  For Eren.  Presumably for the purpose of bonding _to_ Eren, and _only_ Eren.  And right now he’s not particularly leaning one way or the other.  While his physiology is still very much male and shows no signs of changing, as far as his dynamic is concerned he is, for lack of a better term…intersex.”

“Meaning?”

“He is both alpha and omega.  His instincts are at war.  He has two inner voices now.  That would take a psychological toll on anybody.  In addition to that, I have no idea if he’ll ever go into rut again, have another heat, or cycle both ways.  I’m fairly sure that suppressants won’t work on him presently, and I’d have to formulate something specifically tailored to him to keep him even remotely stable.”

“This is quite the conundrum.”

“It is.  He’s not in heat anymore and the scent has largely dissipated.  To be honest, he smells most strongly of Eren…”

“Unsurprising.”

“True.  But he also smells like he did previously.”

“Like an alpha.”

“Yes.”

“So he presently smells like an alpha and behaves like an alpha, if not one that is a bit unhinged?”

“Yes.”

“So how do we fix him?”

Hanji wrinkled her nose at Erwin’s choice of wording.  She knew he meant no offense, but it was distasteful to her nonetheless.

“We fix him by not treating him like he’s broken.  Let him do things as he always has.  He’s still capable of all of it.  The best outcome for everybody would be for them to seal their bond, since Eren’s not all that much better off than Levi without that connection completed.  He’ll be paranoid and overprotective, and that will cause more unrest than Levi’s alteration.  We all know that kid is a hot head.”

“We need them to do so sooner rather than later.  We can’t afford discord within the ranks.”

“You know you can’t order them to bond,” the brunette scowled.  “Moral and ethical implications aside, you know that would taint it.  We can’t poison their lives together before they’ve even had a real chance to start.”

“I may be a manipulative bastard, Hanji,” Erwin intoned, unashamed, “but I’m not so foolish as that.”

Hanji knew that much to be true.

“What are you proposing then?”

Erwin blew a long breath out of his nose, tipped his head, and said, “Move Eren out of the barracks.  He needn’t go back to the basement, either.”

“What are you planning?” the scientist queried, eyes narrowed.

“There’s an empty room a few doors down from Levi’s quarters.  Put him there.”

“The others will throw a fit.”

“Let them.  A few grumblings about unfairness is a small price to pay for an otherwise harmonious fighting unit.”

“Are you sure about this, Erwin?”

“I am.  Get it done.  You’re dismissed.”

“Sir!” Hanji saluted, leaving Erwin to the rest of the day’s paperwork.

“Here’s to hoping this isn’t a complete clusterfuck,” Erwin muttered to empty air.

 


	40. Burpees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a nothing chapter. I'm tryna get to where I wanna go...

“Stay,” Levi implored, his grip on Eren’s fingers tightening.

“They’ll all know if I stay here.”

“Maybe that’s the point.”

Eren couldn’t argue with that logic.

Getting settled had been a bit of a to do, Levi’s scent wavering between inviting and cautionary, but eventually the raven had given up the ghost.  Levi slept nestled against Eren’s chest, his head tucked below the shifter’s chin, breath warming his collarbones as he slept.  Eren, exhausted though he was, was unable to find sleep.  He was battling a combination of awe and terror, and they both kept his brain abuzz and in a state of wakefulness.

That Levi was still in his arms was nothing short of a miracle to the brunette, and he didn’t understand how things had turned out this way.  He didn’t want to question it but the feeling gnawed at him nonetheless.  He feared that it was all some terribly cruel dream and that when he woke up his arms would be empty.

“Eren…” Levi mumbled sleepily, body trembling until a strong embrace reassured him of Eren’s continued presence.

Nightmares.

In between all the fucking, Eren had had a chance to learn some things about his newfound lover, one of those things being that Levi had frequent nightmares.  They were not the violent outbursts he had become accustomed to in the barracks, but were rather well suited to the raven’s general demeanor.  They were quiet and restrained, Levi somehow internalizing his pain even as he slept.  He would whimper or shake intermittently, but he never shouted, rarely did anything other than gasp a time or two.

Eren’s fingers combing through his hair and heavy pressure on Levi’s body seemed to offer him enough of a respite that he could settle back into a deeper rest.  Being able to provide the raven with comfort was a comfort in itself, and Eren was doing his best not to take it for granted.  Especially since things were supposed to return to normal tomorrow.  Squadron drills, 3DMG maneuver work, and inevitable cleaning…somewhere.  Levi always found something that needed to be cleaned.

It was no secret that Levi’s upbringing in the Underground had fostered some…intense cleaning habits.  When Eren had asked Hanji about it, way back when the Corps had taken custody of him, she had explained that it wasn’t quite OCD, but it wasn’t far off.  While Levi didn’t have to wipe down a surface a specific amount of times or clear up microscopic dirt that no one else could see, he was most certainly exacting and particular, and stress made his inclination worse. 

Looking back on it, that had been a huge understatement on her part.

The shifter looked down at his counterpart, taking in his bandaged forearms.  Cautious fingertips drew down the soft linen and Eren buried his nose in soft hair once more, inhaling deeply.  He was trying not to get worked up over the raven’s injuries, especially since they were so minor compared to what he’d already been through in his life.  What he’d been though just yesterday.  But it was so incredibly difficult, knowing those wounds had been self-inflicted.

“Why?” the brunette asked into the darkness.

He needed to convince Levi to go see Hanji, but it was going to be a battle.  It wasn’t one that Eren was confident he could win.  He’d do his damnedest, for Levi’s sake, but it made him apprehensive, and he was well aware that it would end in a fight.  Nobody made Levi do anything he didn’t want to.  Not unless he was ordered or somehow compelled by an outside force.

Eren would not allow Erwin to order Levi to be violated.

Eren would not allow _himself_ to order Levi to be violated.

He would have to think of something, and quickly, but for the time being the alpha knew it would be best to try and shut off his brain and allow himself some much needed rest.  With a heavy sigh Eren curled himself around Levi more firmly, creating a protective barrier with his bulk.  Levi’s resultant purr and sleep drunk rumblings allowed the shifter to fall asleep with a smile on his lips.

* * *

Four AM came quickly and rudely.  Eren found himself sprawled on the floor with his captain standing over him, a displeased scowl firmly settled on his narrow face.

“Oi!  Get up, you shitweasel!”

“Levi, what the hell?” Eren whined, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

“It’s 0400.  You need to get your ass back to the barracks, get showered up, and be in formation in the next hour and a half.”

“What about breakfast?!”

“If you can make it, more power to you.  I still expect you to be in formation on time.  And if you’re not, I’ll make you do burpees until you puke.”

Never before had Eren scrambled so quickly to prepare for inspection.  Their time as lovers had ended.  At least for now.  The alpha still wasn’t sure how their relationship was going to progress.  He had made a promise to bond Levi, but it wasn’t something that could be forced.  He had no choice but to wait until the raven made a decision, and until that time came…well, Eren would just have to suffer through. 

He ignored the deep ache in his chest when he washed away Levi’s scent.  He ignored the tightness in his belly as he tried to forget how Levi felt against his body.  He shut away the memories of Levi’s face contorting in pleasure when they fucked.

He refused to lock away the sound of Levi’s voice calling him alpha.  Of telling Eren he loved him.

* * *

“Ackerman!”

“Sir!”

“Arlert!”

“Sir!”

“Kirstein!”

“Sir!”

“Springer!”

“Sir!”

“Braus!”

“Sir!”

“Jaeger!  …Jaeger!!  Son of a motherfucking…”

“Sir!” came the flustered reply, Eren stumbling into formation next to Sasha.

Wide brown eyes turned to look at the shifter.  She was clearly displeased with his choice of position, as she was likely to be caught in the crossfire.  Her entire expression said, _“Why would you do this to me!?”_

“Jaeger, care to tell me why you took your sweet ass time getting here this morning?”

“Sir, I…”

“Get trapped on the toilet taking a shit?”

“No, sir, I…!”

“He probably wasn’t interested in being bossed around by a midget omega,” a new voice commented with a snicker.

Levi turned slowly, grey eyes going dark as he took in the line of new recruits he was to begin training that morning.  His eyes fell on a sandy haired boy, probably no more than sixteen, who was doing a piss poor job of concealing his smirk.

“Name,” Levi said, voice already dangerously low.

“Jonas,” the little snot answered.

“Jonas what?”

“Jonas Altebaum…sir,” the boy responded again, tone clearly mocking.

Eren barely held back his growl, though the flare of his scent was enough for those present to take notice.  He turned his gaze away when Levi sent him a covert, but no less withering, glare.

“Tell me, Jonas, how long have you been here?”

“Three days, sir.”

“And in those three days, Jonas, have you had your ass kicked?”

“What? No, I…”

“No?  Are you aiming to start now, then?” Levi rumbled, leaning closer to the young male.  His own scent was pungent, reminiscent of burning cedar.  A warning.  “You don’t survive as long as I have in this line of work by being weak, so I suggest you learn to keep your mouth shut, your ears open, and your eyes front.  Understand, fuckmaggot?”

The other recruits who had surrounded him had all taken a step back, leaving their comrade exposed to the naked wrath of their new captain.  Camaraderie counted for nothing at this juncture in their relationship.  They’d all only known each other for three days.  They didn’t owe the upstart their support…even if they had laughed at his tasteless quip.

Jonas swallowed heavily, green eyes going wide as he nodded his head emphatically.  He made the mistake of looking in Eren’s direction to find the alpha pinning him down with a murderous gaze.  His scent went sour and he found himself crumbling under two hard pairs of eyes, a distressed whine bubbling up in his throat. 

Levi leaned forward to whisper in his ear then, his voice clear as day as he said, “What he _could_ do to you is nothing compared to what I _will_ do to you if you ever disrespect me in such a manner again.”

“I understand, sir,” the cadet whimpered weakly.

“Louder, so they all hear you.”

“I understand, Captain Levi, sir!” Jonas saluted, shaking where he stood as he tried to look _anywhere_ other than at Eren or Levi.  He felt grateful he hadn’t pissed himself.

When the raven turned back around it was to see Eren’s grassy eyes alight with mirth, a shit eating grin on his face.

“What the fuck are you smiling about?  I’m pretty sure I told you if you were late I’d make you do fucking burpees until you puked.  Get to it!”

“But I just ate breakfast!”

“Guess it’ll be over sooner rather than later, then.”

Shit.


	41. Rumors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of back and forth happening with the boys' personalities right now. Trying to stay true to who they are, as I don't personally care for OOC shit myself. A little is probably inevitable, but I'm trying to keep it to a minimum. This chapter is short, but leading into some big things.
> 
> We're in an angsty corner again.

_“Isn’t that Captain Levi?”_

_“I saw Jaeger come out of his quarters this morning.”_

_“I heard they spent all week fucking in a cabin.”_

_“I thought he was an alpha?”_

_“Smells like an omega…”_

_“Does he?”_

_“Is an omega even capable of leading a squad?”_

Levi heard it all as he strode through the halls.  He heard it in the mess, he heard it in the barracks, he heard it in the field.  And he ignored all of it.  Eren also heard it all.  Only, unlike Levi, who was granted his privacy on the assumption that the inquirer wouldn’t live to see the next dawn, the shifter was needled by his peers.

“Say it again you slimy sack of shit!” Eren roared in the face of a soldier who had dared to mock him and the captain. 

It would have been one thing if they’d made a snide comment about the shifter alone.  He could handle those.  But to bring Levi into the mix, especially now, was on a level of foolishness that couldn’t even be properly categorized.  And thus a ginger haired male found himself pinned against a wall with his shirt tangled in the fist of an exceptionally angry alpha.

“I-I’m sorry!  I didn’t m-mean to…!”

Eren’s enraged gaze was forcefully wrenched away from terrified hazel eyes as his hair was pulled with such force he was sure some had been yanked out.  One moment he’d had eyes on a tear streaked freckled face and the next he was staring skyward, brought to his knees, throat forcibly exposed.  His nose took in the scent of burning pine and cedar, something acrid like tar chasing behind it, and his own enmity ebbed away to be replaced by fear of his own.

“In.  My.  Office.  NOW!”

The brunette yelped as he was forcibly dragged to his feet, thin fingers still tangled up in his hair.  The small hand didn’t relinquish its grip, but held more tightly as the owner of the appendage began walking.  Eren had no choice but to follow behind, body bowed over like a beaten dog, squalling in much the same manner as his scalp was intermittently yanked at.

Eren was thrown into the office space rather unceremoniously, and he gripped at his head, wincing and whimpering in a combination of pain and terror.  This was bad.  This was really, really bad.

“What the ever loving FUCK did you think you were doing, Jaeger!?” Levi hissed at him.

“He said that…”

“I don’t give a titan’s asshole what that little fuckmuppet said!  I asked you what the fuck you thought you were doing!”

“Defending….”

“What?  Defending fucking WHAT!?”

“You!  US!”

Grey eyes widened and then immediately narrowed, the captain stalking over to the alpha to seize him by the lapels of his jacket.

“ _I_ don’t need defending.  _We_ don’t need defending.  I’ve had plenty of shitty things said about me in my lifetime.  I ignore them.”

“So you don’t care?  You don’t care that people think we’re just…”

“No!  No, I _don’t_ care, because what they _think_ doesn’t matter!  What _I_ _know_ matters!  And I know that you can’t go off fucking halfcocked because somebody says my mouth would make a great cock holster!  I know that I can’t have you exploding like a deranged lunatic because you think you need to protect me!  We have _had this discussion!_ I’m not weak!  I can take care of myself!”

The shifter opened his mouth to protest and shut it when Levi shook him.

“Stop it!  Just stop it!  I can’t do this with you if all you’re going to do is fight!  I’m not your property!  I’m not some damsel in distress!  I’m just…”

“Levi,” Eren finished for him, eyes glistening with tears.

“You can’t keep doing this.  Eren, you _can’t_.  You can’t undermine my authority with subtle scents, or glares, or silent threats.”

“I’m not trying to!  I’m not…doing it on purpose.  My instincts…”

“Don’t give me that bullshit!”

“It’s not bullshit!” Eren started, tone sharp.  “I’m _trying_!  I’m trying so fucking hard, and everything is screaming at me!  We’ve been back here two days now and you haven’t let me scent mark you again.  You won’t let me stay here, you won’t come to see me…” the brunette paused, unable to stop his tears.  He talked through them, his voice shaky and wet as he asked, “What did I do?”

All of what Eren said was true.  Levi knew it was.  He knew Eren was trying his damnedest.  That kid had heard the nastiest shit said about him over and over the past few years, and, barring the first few months after the discovery of his power, he hadn’t fought with anybody over such comments.  He ignored it all.

The raven also couldn’t deny the ache he felt within himself.  It had only been 48 hours that he’d been devoid of Eren’s scent and he hurt all over.  He’d tried to tell himself it was an after effect of trying to survive in that titan’s mouth.  He had desperately clung to his swords, his grappling hooks embedded in the cheeks of the loathsome beast.  It had taken all he had not to be swallowed down.  He’d fought…for Eren.

And he was denying him the most basic of comforts between mates.  Because that’s what they were, weren’t they?  Mates.  The very idea terrified Levi, for numerous reasons.  Was he supposed to provide for Eren, or was Eren supposed to provide for him?  What if he couldn’t top anymore?  He’d managed the one time but it had been a struggle.  What if he couldn’t bottom, either?  The thought of it currently made him…not angry exactly, but uncomfortable.  Eren was an incredibly attentive and affectionate person.  Levi didn’t think Eren could endure a relationship without that sort of intimacy.  And in the field…

“Levi?”

The captain met pained eyes, unable to hold back his whine.  Eren crossed the room in an instant, pulling the raven into his embrace.  His body was vibrating with the desire to mark the smaller male, but he didn’t act on the instinct.  He just held Levi to him and tried to be satisfied with the pressure against his skin.

“Have you seen Hanji yet?”

“No.”

“You need to.  _I_ need you to.”

“I don’t.  You don’t.  I’m fine.”

“I’m going to end up killing somebody, Levi,” the brunette stated softly.  “I’m going to kill somebody who doesn’t deserve it over pettiness.  I’m not…I don’t have a lot of control left in me.  And you’re not fine.  I know what you tried to do to her…and I know you’ve already washed yourself raw again.  I can smell the blood under the bandages.”

“No!” Levi shouted, pushing Eren away with a violent shove.  “I don’t want her to touch me!  I can’t stand…” he stopped abruptly.

“What?” Eren asked, eyes wide.  “What can’t you stand?”

“I don’t want her to touch me.  I don’t want anybody else to touch me.”

Eren’s brow creased as his face screwed up in confusion.  He knew that Levi’d never been one for physical contact, only ever engaging in it when it was necessary, but the man wasn’t phobic of it.  At least he hadn’t been previously.  Why was it such a problem now?

“You know that she’s not going to…”

“I don’t want her touching me,” the raven growled, eyes hard, face set in a venomous scowl.

Green eyes roamed the raven’s body before settling on his face again.  For the first time since Levi had known the shifter, he was completely unreadable.  His face was blank, devoid of the usual determination that the captain was accustomed to seeing, and it unnerved him.

Before he had a chance to truly process the action, Eren had left the office.  There was no goodbye, no “I love you”, no indication that he was coming back to the raven.  Fear mixed in his stomach once more, but Levi refused to chase after him, opting instead to hiss at the closed door before crumpling to the floor.

“I don’t need you here,” he whispered as he curled in on himself.  “I don’t need you.”

 


	42. Grip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I...am super happy with this chapter. Like, you don't even know. You don't. Even. Know.
> 
> BTW, I apparently *do* have a tumblr, and I'm going to be attempting to use it. I'll be starting by posting this whole story there.
> 
> You can find me by username at thes0ulreader, with the blog name being Kyojin no Soma. It's probably going to take me a few days to get everything posted there.
> 
> I also have a new gmail account for people to contact me through if they are interested in doing beta reading for me.  
> KyojinoSoma@gmail.com
> 
> It is strictly dedicated to fanfiction stuff

“Why does he have to be so fucking stubborn all the time?” the brunette grumbled while he stalked down the hall.  His hand rubbed over his heart, trying to soothe the persistent soreness that resided there.  He really needed it to stop, but as long as Levi refused to be marked, it would continue.

Eren just didn’t understand why Levi was putting up such a fight.  Well, that wasn’t entirely true.  He understood, he just couldn’t stand how foolhardy the captain was being.  Seeing Hanji would be for his own good.  And what good was it to continue on living if it would only be to watch Levi suffer?  That thought made the alpha stop his aimless wandering to contemplate his next course of action.  It really didn’t matter what he chose to do next, because Levi would be hurt by it either way, but sometimes pain was a necessity in order to heal.

Mind made up, Eren promptly changed direction.  He only had one directive now.

Help Levi.

* * *

“I need you to come with me.  Right now.”

“Eren! Do you need help moving things out of the barracks?”

“What?” Eren wrinkled his nose.  His new quarters were the last thing on his mind.  “No.  Forget about that.  Come with me.”

He seized a small hand without waiting for an answer, dragging his newfound accomplice back down the hallway.

“Where are we going?”.

“To Levi.”

“Is he ok?”

“No,” he growled, just barely avoiding the temptation of throwing them over his shoulder.  They weren’t moving fast enough.

* * *

The air was thick with tension, the scent of an enraged alpha heavy in the small space.  Silver eyes bore into green, demanding answers and rejecting the presence of their owner.  Levi’s gaze was positively murderous, even from his prone position on the floor.

 “Get out.”

“No.”

“Get.  Out.”

“You’re curled up on the fucking floor!  You’re not ok!”

“Captain, Eren’s right, you…” Armin began, peering around Eren’s ribcage.  He quickly silenced himself when Levi leveled him with a glare so venomous he feared he was going to shit himself.

“Don’t do that to him, that’s not fair.”

“I didn’t invite him here!  You did!” Levi snapped.

“Because I _care about you_!”

“The fuck you—AH SHIT!”

The raven clutched at his stomach, knees pulling in tight around his belly, a high pitched whine winding its way to Eren’s ears.

_Help!_

Eren couldn’t ignore the plea and moved forward only to be met with a savage snarl.

_Get away from me!_

“Sina, Maria, and Rose…” Armin whispered, eyes wide.

Eren paid no heed to Levi’s growling.  The captain’s cry for help had been louder than his warning.  The former was the voice he chose to listen to and he advanced on the raven until he was kneeling beside him.  When Levi’s steel irises met the subdued emerald of Eren’s, his gaze did not soften…but his voice did.

“Ça fait mal…” he whimpered, sinews of his neck taut with pain.

The shifter’s eyes widened at the phrase, mind playing back the memory of the raven writhing on the floor at the outpost.

_“Arrête ça!  Arrête ça, je n'en peux plus! Ça fait mal…”_

“It hurts…” the brunette gasped, turning to Armin with wide eyes.  “It hurts!”

“You understand him?”

“No!  He did this at the outpost!  When the cramps were bad!”

“Ils sont si fort! Pourquoi sont-ils si fort?! Tais-toi! Tais-toi, Tais-toi, Tais-toi!” Levi cried out, hands moving from his belly to pull at his hair.

“What am I supposed to do, Eren!?  I’m not a doctor!  I can’t…”

“On his desk!  There’s a pen and paper.  Just…write.  Just fucking write!  Observe!  Do what Hanji does!”

Levi groaned as he was pulled into Eren’s lap, fighting weakly against his grip.  His voice was hushed and choked as he said, “Faites les s'arrêter. Faites les taire. Ça me rend dingue.”

“Is he warm?” Armin asked, frowning as he began writing.

“Maybe a little?  I don’t know!  He’s sweaty!”

“Can you see any injuries?”

“Just the ones on his forearms,” Eren swallowed heavily.  Levi had stopped fighting so hard, but it seemed to be from exhaustion as opposed to lack of will.

“Put me down,” he moaned.

“I can’t…I can’t, I can’t…”

Eren couldn’t hold back his crooning, rumbling and deep, the sound rolling in his chest like quiet thunder.  But Levi didn’t respond to it the way he had at the outpost.  He did not sag and relax.  He responded in kind with a noise of his own, the pitch somewhere in between the croon of an alpha and the whine of a wounded omega.  It wasn’t a sound Eren had ever heard before, but…he liked it.  It concerned him from the standpoint of not understanding, but the sound itself soothed him to some degree.

Armin’s head shot up and he stared at the pair on the floor, hand scribbling as quickly as his brain could form words to create a report.  Whatever that noise was, Eren had reacted to it in much the same fashion as an omega would to an alpha’s voice.  The two men settled long enough for Armin to observe them and how they were interacting.  Levi spoke in broken French while Eren nuzzled into his neckline but avoided scent marking him.

Truthfully, Armin wasn’t equipped to handle the situation, but the brief explanation that Eren had given him on the way was that Levi currently wasn’t safe to be around Hanji.  He was distrustful and distraught, and Eren didn’t want to make things worse by forcing her presence on him.  But he couldn’t leave the raven as he was, either.  The blonde wasn’t sure whether he felt flattered or betrayed.

In any case, Armin tried to push his discomfort with the situation aside.  It was strange to see a man who normally commanded obedience and inspired fearless loyalty to be coiled in a bundle on a dirty office floor.  The scents that intermingled in the air were also highly confusing.  Armin recognized Eren’s base scent of meadow grass lightly tinged with relaxing violet, but Levi’s signature was nearly overwhelming.  He smelled heavily of pine and moss, accented with sweet rose and some sort of spice.  The first set of scents were signatures of an alpha while the second were decidedly omega.

_Is he…both?_

“Eren?”

The brunette grunted his acknowledgement.

“Can he hear me?  Will he talk to me?”

“I hear you, blondie,” the raven answered from his spot in Eren’s lap.  His voice was thready and weak, but Levi was coherent.

“Captain, could you…could you try to use alpha voice?  Using it on me is acceptable, I don’t mind.”

“Why?”

“I…I think I can help, if you’ll allow me to.”

Levi pushed himself up in Eren’s lap, begrudgingly leaning back against the brunette’s chest for support.  Mercury eyes found soft blue, calculating in silence before he opened his mouth to speak.

“Sit down.”

Armin responded to the request, albeit slowly.  Much like the whining croon Levi had produced, his present voice, though layered as alpha voice was, was pitched higher.  The low frequency wavelength that demanded compliance was lacking, and though the blonde still felt compelled to obey, he could have fought it if he’d wanted to.  Within a few seconds he’d shaken off the raven’s control, furiously scribbling on the paper he’d been working with.

“Ok,” Armin began, voice shaking slightly, “now…try that on Eren.”

“Why?” the raven frowned.  “It won’t work.  It barely affected you.”

“I’d like you to try anyway, Captain.  Please.”

Levi looked Eren over dubiously.  He had no idea what Arlert was on about, but Eren didn’t seem put out by the prospect at all. 

“S’fine,” the shifter shrugged, fingers twitching against the raven’s belly.

“Lie down,” Levi commanded.

And Eren simply toppled over, arms going limp as he fell, causing Levi to wobble as he tried to maintain his own balance.  He looked towards Armin, noting how wide the blonde’s eyes had gone, eyebrows disappearing into his hairline.  If he’d had the energy to do so, he genuinely would have laughed.

“Uh, may I…may I come over there?”

“Are going to touch me?” Levi rasped.

“No, sir.”

“Fine.”

Armin cautiously crept towards the duo, eyes flicking to Levi every now and again before sitting down perpendicular to Eren’s head.  His pupils were completely blown open, breathing shallow, body listlessly laid out on the floor.

“Eren, can you hear me?”

“Yes,” came the near inaudible reply.

“Can you move?”

“I don’t think so,” he drawled.

Armin scrawled more notes on the pad.

“Captain, do it again.  Just order him back up.”

Yet again Levi frowned, but he did as was requested, watching as Eren peeled himself off the floor.  A green eye rolled towards his superior, but Eren’s gaze seemed to be more concerned for Levi than for himself.

“Eren?”

“Eh?”

“Try doing it to him.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good…”

“Just do it, you shitty brat,” Levi said as he blinked, eyes bleary.

The brunette opened his mouth and then paused.  After a brief moment of thought, he tried again, locking eyes with Levi and saying, “Bite me.”

The reaction was immediate and violent.  Levi twisted his torso and latched on to Eren’s throat just beneath his jaw.  The shifter couldn’t contain his pained yelp, fingers instinctively seeking Levi’s hair to tangle in it.  The raven’s canines were only millimeters away from the alpha’s scent glad.

“Ar…min,” Eren heaved, trying to stay calm.  He heard Levi growling, but it was subtle and disturbingly low.  Threatening. 

Eren pulled at obsidian strands and was punished with a sharp tug against his throat, rivulets of blood trailing down his neck to wet his shirt.  Levi was still growling, his hands fisted in Eren’s leather jacket, jaw flexing as he held Eren’s flesh between his teeth.  He was either ignoring or incapable of registering the steam that rose from the wound that was already trying to heal.

“Can you…hear him?” the alpha shuddered out.

The blonde shook his head, carefully moving to observe the captain’s face near Eren’s throat. He shot backwards almost immediately, his already pale features fading to a ghostly white.  His hands shook and he turned his eyes away, fighting back the urge to vomit.

Levi looked absolutely homicidal, his scent cloying and possessive, eyes aglow with a ferocity that Armin had never witnessed before.  Not even when fighting titans.  It was ominous and disquieting.  A showing of lost control.

“Captain?”

Armin received a snarl in response and he watched Levi’s body as he shifted his hips forward in Eren’s lap.  The movement was small, almost indiscernible, but the blonde caught the roll of his pelvis against the brunette’s stomach.  Armin blushed as he wrote down his observations, eyes falling on his friend to gauge his reactions.

“Can you get him to let go, Eren?”

“Probably,” he groaned, a tear slipping from his eye.

“Then why don’t you?” Armin questioned, concerned that Eren hadn’t even attempted to command the raven to release him.

“It fuckin’ hurts like a bitch…but I…like it…”

Armin swallowed, mouth going dry.  Eren had been bitten in an extremely vulnerable spot, and Levi’s grip on him was not light.  Chances were good that Levi had caused tendon and nerve damage, and even though the blonde knew it would heal, the pain had to be excruciating.

But Eren said he liked it.

He studied the alpha’s face once more, taking in the heavy-lidded drunken expression on his face before writing down his last observations.  And then Armin stood up, head tilting as he looked at the two of them, and asked, “Do you want me to leave you like this?”

“Yes,” Eren hissed.  “I know I can get him to let go.”

“But you don’t want him to, do you?”

“No,” the brunette responded with a shiver, eyes still closed.

Armin bit his lip, concerned about actually leaving the pair in such a state.  But it wouldn’t do any good to argue, and the scents in the room were beginning to become overpowering.  A combination of dizziness and renewed nausea made him feel weak, and he needed to get out before the pheromones overtook him.

“I’ll take these notes to Hanji.  You should see her before that,” he gestured to where Levi was still attached, “heals up.”

“Yeah, sure,” Eren agreed.  And then he opened his eyes, stared directly into icy hues, and with the most sincerity he could muster in his current position, said, “Thank you.”

And when Armin left and he was alone with Levi, he pulled the raven closer, held him tighter, and sighed, “Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Ça fait mal… - It hurts...  
> Arrête ça! Arrête ça, je n'en peux plus! Ça fait mal… - Make it stop! Make it stop, I can't take it anymore! It hurts...  
> Ils sont si fort! Pourquoi sont-ils si fort?! Tais-toi! Tais-toi, tais-toi, tais-toi! - They're so loud! Why are they so loud! Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up!  
> Faites les s'arrêter. Faites les taire. Ça me rend dingue - Make them stop. Make them be quiet. It's maddening.


	43. Distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of the boys and Mikasa shows up! We'll be spending a chapter or two separated from them.

Eren and Levi remained on the floor together after Armin had left, the raven cradled in the tight embrace of the shifter’s arms.  Eren hadn’t said anything about it to Armin, but Levi hadn’t just bitten him.  He was licking at tan skin while he held on, small tongue swiping up his blood, encouraging the push of his pulse.  The alpha’s back was starting to hurt, his throat was throbbing, and his ass was numb, but he had a hard time caring when Levi’s teeth in his flesh felt so exquisite.  How much better would it have been if Levi’d actually placed a bonding mark?  The very idea caused the shifter to tremble, hips pressing up against the swell of the raven’s ass.

He shouldn’t have been turned on.  Absolutely not.  But the brunette was hard as a rock in spite of himself and he felt the firm bulge of Levi’s crotch against his abdomen.  Fucking hell, what was happening to them?

“Levi,” Eren exhaled as the raven’s tongue slowed.  “Levi, let go.”

The captain rumbled at him, his jaw twitching against the brunette’s throat.

“Let go, Levi,” Eren repeated.  It was no less gentle, but it carried the influence of alpha voice with it, the smaller removing his teeth from Eren’s skin only to lap at the weeping wound again.

Mossy eyes fluttered shut, Eren indulging in the sensation of hot wetness against the injury for a few more moments, his hand holding Levi in place.  When he finally felt he had enough control, he pushed against the captain’s small frame and leaned away to examine him.  Ivory skin was blotched with crimson, lips stained deliciously red, one of Levi’s canines pressing against the plump flesh.

“That was…you…it…” the alpha tried, searching for words. 

“I’m sorry,” Levi said.  His voice tone was flat, as was usual, but his eyes were worried.

“I know,” Eren murmured, pressing their foreheads together.  “You’re not alright, are you?”

“...No.”

“Why won’t you let me scent mark you?  I know it hurts you.  It hurts _me_.  And if it only hurt me I’d be fine with that.  But it doesn’t…so I’m not.”

“I don’t want…”

The brunette cut him off before he could continue, already knowing what the raven was going to say.

“You can’t command like this.  At least let me mark you so you can function.  I don’t have to stay in your room, you don’t have to come see me, I’ll…I’ll just leave you alone, if that’s what you want.  But you can’t exist like this.  I can’t watch you suffer.”

Levi blinked at the younger male, his gaze almost lazy, though Eren knew better by now.  The raven was only considering his options.  And when Levi carefully tipped his head up and away, Eren took the gesture for what it was.  Tacit acceptance for a small bit of help.  As much as he wanted to press himself to Levi, roll with him, rub his face in his hair, he refrained.  Eren brought his wrists up to his scent glands, wincing as the bite mark on his throat was disturbed while he covered his skin in oils, and then pressed them to Levi’s throat.  There was no intimacy in the act.  It was as cold and detached as Levi’s behavior.

It hurt.

“Where are you going?” Levi intoned as Eren rose, carefully placing the raven on the floor.

“I’m to move my things out of the men’s barracks and into a room down the hall on the floor below.”

“I thought Erwin still had you in the basement,” Levi said, surprised.  Eren’s proximity wasn’t presently wanted, and to have him so nearby…

“They only put me down there because the blood rut came on so suddenly.  I was originally told to report back to the main barracks when we returned, and just yesterday Hanji told me I was to move down the hall.”

“But…”

“I have to go.  I have to...I…I’ll be here to serve you when you need it…sir.”

Eren saluted him…and left.

* * *

Armin wasted no time searching for Hanji, heading straight for her lab upon concluding with Levi and Eren.  It had been bizarre to see the pair courting each other at the outpost, but the blonde’s latest encounter with them had been extraordinary.  The pheromones that the two of them had managed to put out had been nothing short of mindboggling.  Anger, embarrassment, fear…lust. 

For as viscerally as Levi had reacted to Eren’s command, Armin couldn’t ignore that he’d smelled arousal coming off both of them once Eren had been bitten.  It was stranger still to the young man that neither of the duo had retaliated against the other.  An alpha using alpha voice on another of their gender almost always resulted in a violent altercation.  Such usage was considered a challenge and was completely disrespectful when used against a superior.  But Eren hadn’t retaliated against a perceived omega.  An omega that was not entirely such.  And it wouldn't have been unexpected for Levi to have responded with great offense, considering that Eren was his subordinate on the battlefield.  The opportunity had not been taken, as vicious as the captain's bite had appeared.

Levi’s own alpha voice still existed, but the pitch was too high to command anybody other than Eren.  But why?  Armin hadn’t been able to resist Levi’s initial command for him to sit, but he also hadn't experienced the compulsion to obey that typically came with that voice.  He had complied, but slowly, and within a matter of seconds he was able to shake off the control and behave normally.  Eren, however, had collapsed like a rickety tower.  No fight had been put up whatsoever, and he had appeared paralyzed by Levi’s request.

He had to get to Hanji.

Just has he rounded the corner that lead to the laboratory, Armin collided with another person.  He fell with a grunt, a hand pressed to his chest as the wind was knocked out of him, sending his notes to the floor.  He rushed to pick them up, Eren and the captain’s privacy his priority, but he was halted by a feminine voice that was filled with worry.

“Armin!  Have you seen Eren?  I haven’t gotten to see him since he got back, and…”

“Not now, Mikasa!”

“But I want to make sure he’s ok!”

“He’s fine!” the blonde half-lied.  “He’s with Levi!”

“He’s always with Levi,” she spat.  “That runty little…”

“Don’t talk about him like that,” Armin lowered his voice, tone frigid.  He didn’t have time for this.

“Are you actually defending him?!”

“Yes!” he hissed, collecting the rest of his papers.  “Yes, I am!  Because Levi makes Eren _happy_! You know how long he’s had feelings for him!”

“It’s just a crush,” she muttered.

Armin full on scowled then.  It was a rarity for him to experience true anger, but the ravenette’s oblivious denial was working his last nerve.

“You’re acting like a child, you know that?  This isn’t an infatuation he has.  Not anymore, at least.”

Mikasa winced at the words of her friend, though the recalcitrant pout she wore remained.

“He _loves_ him Mikasa.  He’s _in love_ with Levi.  And you may not like him, but he makes your brother happy.  The captain saved your life when Eren would have destroyed you.  He saved you to spare Eren pain.  Do you really think that Levi doesn’t love him, too?”

Mikasa hid her face in her scarf, though Armin heard the small sniffle she attempted to suppress.

“If you can’t accept this, if you can’t accept _them_?  You’ll lose him.  He’s having a hard enough time right now without you shitting all over it.”

The ravenette’s head shot up, eyes wide as saucers as she stared at the blonde.

“You swore.  I’ve known you since you were nine and you’ve never…”

“ _That’s_ how serious this is,” Armin emphasized.  And then he sighed and pulled her into a hug.  “You two are the closest things to siblings I’ve ever had, and I love you both so much.  But you need to pull your head out of your ass and support Eren, because he can’t suffer through all of this alone.  Be a good sister for him.”

“I…yeah,” Mikasa swallowed as she hugged him back.  “Yeah.”

“I need to go deliver something to Hanji.  Will you be alright?”

Mikasa nodded as she sheepishly rubbed her arm, watching Armin depart.  She’d been called out on selfish behavior twice now.  By two people she respected, no less.  While she had never liked Levi, she couldn’t deny that she respected his strength and prowess, and he had saved Eren’s life when they were just kids.  He had saved her life just a few short days ago.  He really wasn’t at all unsuitable for her brother.

That didn’t make her heart feel any less broken when she realized that she couldn’t be Eren’s rock anymore.  That she hadn’t been for a long time.  What she had been was jealous and petty for all the wrong reasons, and, like it or not Eren’s choice had long since been made.  All she could do was remind herself that Eren was still there, that he still loved her, that he was still her brother.

They were still family.


	44. Reveal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of explanation here. A loooooooooooooooooooot.

Armin didn’t find Hanji in her lab.  He found Moblit, who was attempting to create some semblance of order out of the chaotic space.  It was, of course, a futile effort, but Moblit was the optimistic type.  Armin appreciated that about him.  The blonde discovered in short order that the scientist was in a meeting with the commander, and so he rushed to Erwin’s office next.

Upon arrival, the blonde was able to hear a terse discussion being held between two people.  He couldn’t make out what they were saying, nor did he try.  He likely wasn’t supposed to be privy to whatever was being discussed, and he really had little interest anyway.  His priority was to get his observations to the doctor.

The young soldier rapped lightly on the door, hopping back slightly and offering a startled salute when Erwin answered his knock.

“Arlert?  What are you doing here?”

“Sir!  I have important news for Squad Leader Zoe!”

“Oh?” the blonde alpha crossed his arms, a singular eyebrow lifted.  “What about?”

And then the alpha snorted, his head slowly lowering to Armin’s level, nostrils flaring as he sniffed in the general vicinity of the blonde beta.  He had so many scents on him, but they only belonged to two people other than the smaller male.

“Come in, and quickly,” he rumbled, ushering the soldier into the office.

“Armin!  Hey! What’s—oh.  Oh, you smell like…a burning garden pie?”

What did that even mean?

“What’s wrong with them?” Erwin spoke up, voice commanding, demanding immediate answers.  He knew from the pheromone signatures that surrounded the younger that something was amiss with his most important pair.

“They…well, they…” Armin stammered, unsure of who to look at while he gave his report.  The commander smelled…not quite angry, but annoyed, and he hadn’t even begun to explain what he’d witnessed yet.

“You’re scaring him,” Hanji whispered, nudging the gigantic man in the side.  “Stop it!”

Erwin shook his head a little, gaze refocusing on the young man before him, eyes softening.

“I apologize, Arlert.  Please, tell us why you’re here.”

“Eren found me earlier.  Just over an hour ago, really.  He dragged me to Captain Levi’s office because he said there was something wrong with him.  When we got back, the captain was on the floor.”

“Why didn’t he come get me?”

Armin bit his lip and replied, “Eren told me that the captain was dangerous to you right now.  He didn’t want to be touched by anybody other than Eren.  And even then, he wasn’t very happy about it.”

“Tell me what happened!” Hanji squealed excitedly, her expression bug-eyed and wild.

“The captain was curled up in the fetal position, holding his stomach.  He was yelling in another language…”

“French?”

“I think so?  I’m not really familiar enough with other languages to know.”

“That’s alright,” Erwin soothed, casting Hanji a warning glance.  “Please, Armin, continue.”

“Eren told me that Captain Levi was hurting.  I thought he understood what he was saying, but he remembered it from something that happened at the outpost.  In any case, not long after that he started pulling his own hair.  He was still speaking in French, so I don’t know what he was upset about.”

Hanji was barely containing her excited squeaking.  Armin looked at her, skeptical that she could contain herself.

“I asked if he had any injuries or fever, but only mentioned ones that were already bandaged…”

“Where were the injuries, Armin?”

“His forearms.  I don’t know what happened, though.  I wasn’t able to look closer.”

Erwin nodded, gesturing once more for the smaller blonde to continue.

“The smell in the room was…odd.  It was familiar in that the smell of alpha and omega were present, but the captain had two signatures.  And they were quite heavy, bordering on oppressive.”

“Did you take notes?!  Sweet Sina cinnamon buns, tell me you took notes!!!” Hanji exploded in a burst of manic giddiness.

“Y-yes ma’am!” Armin stuttered, holding out his hand for her to swipe the documents.

Though he should have been used to it by now, the unrestrained glee on the scientist’s face was admittedly disturbing to Armin.  He was fairly sure that he saw Erwin roll his eyes, however.  The commander was no stranger to her antics, and though the flash of exasperation was brief, Armin couldn’t help but to be amused by it.

“Holy shitballs!  This is…amazing, unheard of, and…potentially super bad!” the scientist giggled.

“Hanji?”

“Squad Leader?”

“It seems our favorite little captain is going through puberty all over again!  Plus, there’s the whole intersex thing,” Hanji said blithely, waving her hand through the air as if nothing were amiss.

“ _Intersex!?”_ Armin exclaimed.

“Well, yeah…I mean, there were three of you in the room and the scents of two alphas and an omega present.  Didn't you think it was possible?”

“I thought it!  I didn’t think I was _right!_ ”

Armin turned to Erwin, looking for some sort of guidance.  But he wasn’t met with the stern, calculating gaze he was accustomed to.  Rather, the commander had his fingers twisted in his own hair, head hanging low between his shoulders while he hunched over his desk.

“Commander Smith, sir?”

Erwin only held out a hand, silently asking the squad leader to hand over Armin’s report.  She handed it over begrudgingly, hopping up onto his desk and crossing her legs as she waited for him to read it.  Armin could only frown, confused.  If he felt this muddled up inside, he couldn’t imagine the turmoil the captain was in.  Especially knowing that Eren was trying so desperately to help him.

While Erwin read, taking his time to make sure he understood what was written, Armin decided that it would be best if he could gather more information.  He wasn’t a doctor, but he _was_ a good strategist.  Perhaps he could be of further use.

“Squad Leader?”

“Yeah, coconut?”

“You said Levi’s intersex.  What…what does that mean?  What does it really mean?”

“Mmmm, well, from a strictly biological standpoint of his primary sex, Levi’s a male.  Always has been.  That hasn’t changed any.  However, in regards to his secondary gender, he displays characteristics of both an alpha and an omega.  You realized the omega portion after your run in with him at the outpost, yes?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“I have two theories,” she grinned.  “You ready for this Erwin?” she asked, nudging at the commander, only receiving an undignified grunt in response.  “Levi was definitely a natural born alpha.  That’s not something you can force.  And the only way you can hide it is with heavy doses of suppressants, which weren’t available to him in the Underground.  He’s been through multiple ruts, and at one point was on a monthly schedule, just like Eren is now.”

“That was fucking hell,” Erwin intoned ruefully.

An incredulous blue gaze fell on the commander.  Armin had never heard him speak so casually, and he’d certainly never heard him swear.  He was always the picture of composure.

“What Erwin means to say, is that as, er, harsh as Levi can be on a regular basis, when he’s in rut, he’s down right volatile.”

“Like setting fire to a powder keg.”

“Is he always like this behind closed doors?” Armin whispered.

“He has a lot on his mind, trying to make sure humanity’s greatest allies don’t keel over and die or some such.”

“You are doing nothing to help the situation,” Erwin grumbled.

“I’m trying to explain!” Hanji chided.  “Now where was I?  Ah, yes!  So, once we got Levi’s ruts under control, he fell into a holding pattern for several years.  And then, la dee da, Eren traipsed into our lives and fell into Levi’s proverbial lap as his responsibility.  But it’s been four years now, and Eren’s become a trusted member of this regiment.  He’s become a trusted ally to Levi.”

“I don’t understand?”

“Well, you spend enough time around a person, and a lot of us tend to develop certain feelings…”

“Eren’s had a crush on the captain since he was fifteen.  That’s no secret to anybody.”

“Understatement,” Erwin muttered under his breath.

“Levi’s been pining for Eren for the past two years…ish.”

“You’re kidding?”

“You don’t know how much I wish she was,” Erwin grumbled, still leafing through the notes.

Armin was finding he really enjoyed the commander outside of the public eye.

“So let’s look at what we know about alphas and omegas, yeah?  Alphas go through ruts, omegas have heats.  Alphas produce knots and tie omegas, omegas cannot produce knots and get tied by alphas.”

“Are you,” Armin gulped, “are you saying that Captain Levi does…both?”

“He does now!” Hanji leered.  “Alphas are noted for their high production of testosterone.  Whether an alpha is biologically male or female in terms of sexual organs is immaterial.  Female alphas have high levels of testosterone just as males do.  In omegas, estrogen levels are higher.  All of us produce testosterone and estrogen, we betas are just the most hormonally balanced!”

“There’s nothing balanced about you.”

“Thanks, Levi!” Hanji said sarcastically.  “Seriously, is this going to be a thing?  Because I’m not sure I can deal with this being a thing.”

Erwin didn’t respond.

“Aaaaaanywhoo!  The increased levels of testosterone in alphas is what helps trigger a rut, and estrogen helps trigger heats in omegas.  When it comes to things like preparing to mate, those same hormones allow omegas to be safely tied by an alpha.”

“The production of slick, you mean?”

“In male omegas, yes!  All of us, male or female, alpha, beta, or omega, are capable of producing slick.  We all share the same type mucous membranes in our intestinal region.  It requires extremely high levels of arousal for a male alpha to produce it, and it’s exponentially more difficult as the presence of slick indicates a desire to be fucked, as opposed to being the one doing the fucking.  It’s even more rare with female alphas, but that’s simply because they reproduce through vaginal intercourse.  Slick is biologically unnecessary for them.  It _can_ happen, it’s just more likely for a male to experience it, which I find mildly amusing.”

“So the higher levels of estrogen in omegas allows males to produce slick.”

“You’ve got it, you brilliant brazil nut!  And when an omega male is bred, a tiny muscular flap in the rectum helps divert semen away from the intestinal tract and guides it to a tiny pathway that leads to their uterus.  It’s triggered by their swollen prostate when they’re in heat!”

“But Levi’s not a born omega.”

“Mmm, no.  Most assuredly not.”

“Then how is he…how did he…”

“My best guess is that Levi was born with slightly higher estrogen levels to begin with.  And that isn’t an uncommon occurrence at all.  It can help determine secondary gender when someone comes of age, though it isn’t the only factor.  Chances are high that Levi presented as an alpha in the Underground in order for him to survive.  Biology is funny like that!”

“Hanji,” Erwin sighed, clearly urging her to finish her thoughts.

“If my hypothesis is correct, Levi’s heat was triggered by a combination of higher estrogen levels and the proximity of somebody nearby he deemed to be worthy as a life partner.”

“You mean…”

“Our grumpy lil munchkin’s omega side woke up because he’s in love!”

Armin blinked in disbelief, a flat, “You’re joking,” escaping him.

“I’m not!  For as long as I’ve known him, Levi’s never shown any interest in settling down with anybody.  He’s not asexual, though sex has never been a priority for him outside his ruts.  It’s really no different from Eren’s behavior.  It just seems that Levi wanted Eren even more than Eren wanted Levi!”

“I sincerely don’t even know how that’s possible,” Armin mumbled. 

“Me either!  That little ray of sunshine sure knows how to pick ‘em!”

The young blonde couldn’t decide if the squad leader meant Eren or Levi in that particular instance, but he supposed it didn’t matter.

“Tell me, Armin,” Erwin said calmly, “what were your final observations before you left Levi’s office?”

“Eren’s totally devoted to Captain Levi, sir.  He always has been.  The captain could have torn his throat out and Eren would have praised him for it.  But…Captain Levi is no different.  For as unhappy as he seemed to be with Eren fussing over him so much, he was still seeking comfort from him.  Even if it wasn’t conscious, he sought out contact.  And the idea of me touching him was repulsive to him.”

“Anything else?”

“Yes, sir.  When the captain bit Eren I tried to check to see where he was attached.  The look in his eyes…it was nothing like I’d ever seen before.  He wasn’t looking at me, just through me.  But it still felt like he would eviscerate me if I dared to touch either of them.  He…he was very clearly telling me Eren belonged to him.  But I don’t know how cognizant he was of that fact.”

“Thank you, Armin.  You’ve been an immense help.”

“I’m proud to have been of assistance, Commander Smith!” Armin saluted.

“Dismissed.”

Armin nodded and exited the office, leaving Hanji and Erwin alone.

“What are you thinking, Erwin?”

“I’m thinking that there is going to be bloodshed.  Get Eren in that room.  Tonight.  He has to be there.”

“You think Levi will go to him.”

“I think it takes away the option for Levi to ignore what’s happening to him.”

“Awww!  You care about him!”

“While that is true, the reality is that Levi and Eren are already formidable separately.  Bonded?  They’ll be devastating.”

“That’s a dangerous game you’re playing, Erwin,” Hanji warned.

“We live in a dangerous world.”


	45. Neigh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are back...partially because I forgot the idea I had for what was supposed to be this chapter. So this showed up early!

Levi stood before Erwin, arms crossed over his chest, a hip jutting out to one side.  He had been summoned into the alpha’s office and had almost literally dragged himself to the blonde.  His displeasure was obvious.  Everything about his countenance screamed defiance.  He solidified that being the case when a low, “No,” left his lips, the eyes of his commander narrowing at the word.

“What do you mean, “no”?  No is not an option here, Levi.”

“I’m not giving up my squad.  I don’t need time off,” the raven rumbled, his scent tangy and sour.

“I’m not telling you that you’re losing your squad.  I’m telling you that you’re taking some time off until we get things sorted with you and Eren,” Erwin returned, his own voice dropping dangerously.  “This is not a negotiation.”

“What’s going on between me and Eren isn’t any of your damn business, Eyebrows,” came the scoff.

“You’re right.  What goes on between you and Eren _isn’t_ any of my business.  But the pair of you assaulting other soldiers absolutely _is_.  You are on leave until further notice.”

Levi opened his mouth, a sarcastic retort prepared, but he was immediately shut down by the blonde alpha’s sudden intrusion of his personal space.  Erwin towered over him, eyes dark, and spoke in an alpha voice that sounded nearly demonic.

“Don’t.  Test me.”

The captain’s response was something akin to an air snap.  He wasn’t intimidated, but he knew he had no recourse here.  His hackles were up, but he relaxed his posture and flicked his eyes away, defeated.

“Go to your quarters, the mess, leave the base to clear your head if you must.  I don’t care what you do, as long as it isn’t with the cadets.  Petra, Oluo, Gunther, and Eld are all more than capable of handling things for a while.”

“And how long is “a while”, Erwin?  Am I really so useless?”

“You’ve never been useless, Levi.  I don’t think any part of you knows how to be useless.”

Levi only snorted.

“Get some rest, Levi.  You need it.”

“You know what I need now, huh?”

“I know what must be done to keep the Corps in working order.  You know I’m right,” the commander spoke surely.

“I didn’t ask for this,” Levi growled, hands balled into fists.

“I know you didn’t.”

“I can’t…I’m not…”

“Levi, go rest,” the blonde implored, raising a hand to rest it on the smaller’s shoulder before thinking better of it.  Armin’s report had said he didn’t want to be touched, and considering how edgy the raven was, it would be an unwise choice to ignore that information.  “This isn’t going to last forever.  We’ll figure it out.”

“And if we don’t?”

“That’s not an option.”

A huff of a laugh left the captain then, rueful and bitter, and he said, “Failure is always an option.”

“Let’s say it is.  Where, exactly, are you worried the failure is going to occur?”

“Fuck you,” the raven husked, voice subdued.  “Fuck you, you pompous shitbag.”

The next sound to fill the silence was the slam of the commander’s office door.

* * *

The brilliant thing about having one’s own quarters, Eren thought as he stared at the sticky translucent strands webbing his hand, was that privacy was no longer a commodity.  He could jerk it to his heart’s content and there was no one around to say boo about it.  No need to be secretive, no need to feel ashamed, even though there was at least one person rubbing one out at any given time.  There was definitely no need to be quiet.

Eren most certainly hadn’t been quiet.

He’d actually lost count of how many times he’d masturbated over the course of the last couple hours, and it really didn’t matter anyway.  He wasn’t sated.  The worst part, he realized, was that his need didn’t stem from a desire for sex.  It was connection he craved.  The way he felt looking down at Levi, those grey eyes going half lidded as he bowed beneath Eren’s body.  The way his breath would hitch when Levi gripped him just right.  The way he thought the two of them would just melt together as they shared each other’s breath.

But Levi hadn’t come.  Eren had called for him by voice, by scent, by sheer force of will.  And Levi hadn’t come to him.  He would wait, of course.  He had waited for years, already.  He could wait a little longer.  But that didn’t make it hurt any less.

A knock on his door forced him to hastily wipe his hand on his sheets, pants being tugged up and buttoned as he went to check to see who was calling on him.  Perhaps Mikasa and Armin had come to check out his new digs.  He hadn’t gotten to visit with his sister since he’d returned.

He was not met with the tenderly stern face of his sister when he opened the barrier.  No, the person waiting for him on the other side had a strange resemblance to an animal of equine persuasion.  His eye was still a bit swollen, and his nose was more crooked than he’d remembered it being the last time he saw the other male, but it was indeed…

“Jean.”

He tried to keep his voice neutral, but Eren’s downturned eyebrows probably gave away his displeasure.

“Christ, have you jizzed on every last inch of this place?” Jean wrinkled his nose, shouldering his way inside.  “You’ve only lived here for like, four hours!  How does it reek like the barracks already?!  And why aren’t you wearing a shirt?”

“What are you doing here?”

“Came to check out your new love nest, man!  You’ve been pretty sparse since you got back, y’know.  You and Levi shackin’ up has everybody talking.”

“We’re not “shacking up” and this isn’t a “love nest”.  And whoever’s talking can shut their fucking face before I shut it for them!”

Jean immediately recoiled, blinking rapidly as his back hit the wall near Eren’s bed.

“Jesus!  Rein that shit in! What are you doing!?” the ash blonde choked.

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re fucking smothering me with your damn anger!  Shit!”

Eren groaned, covering his eyes with one hand, embarrassed.

“I’m…sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” Jean repeated, disbelieving.  Eren never apologized.  Not to him anyway.

“Yeah.  Sorry about your nose, too.  And your eye.”

“Duuuuude,” Jean drawled.  “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.  Don’t worry about it.”

“Look, you gotta talk about whatever it is with somebody.  I saw how you were at that outpost, I saw you threaten that kid at formation, and I got to clean up the aftermath of you scaring the literal piss out of that cadet.  Thanks for that by the way.”

“Jean, I don’t think you…”

“You’re obviously not gonna talk about this with your sister, Armin will sugarcoat everything, Squad Leader Hanji will just ask to do more experiments, and, let’s be real here…the rest of our friends are idiots.  So just fucking talk while I’m feeling charitable, alright?”

Eren sighed, scrubbed at his face with his hands, and then walked across the room to sit on the edge of his bed.  He took a minute to gather his thoughts, forearms resting on his knees, eyes on the floor.  Jean wasn’t wrong.  The shifter did need to talk to someone, and the other alpha, obnoxious and irritating as he was, was truly the best choice at present.

“He won’t come to me.”

“Well, you two did just spend a week fucking in a cabin.”

Eren glared at his counterpart.

“Maybe he just needs some space.  That’s all I’m saying.”

“It’s not like that.  It’d be fine if he’d just let me scent mark him.  If he’d…if he’d do it back.”

“You know you don’t own him, right?”

“Would you just shut the fuck up and let me talk?!” Eren hollered.  His patience was already wearing thin.

Jean sighed a “Sorry,” and gestured for the brunette to continue.

“I don’t think I own Levi.  I could never think that.  He’s his own man, and he made that clear to me on more than one occasion,” Eren smiled at the last part.  “But, being separated from him _hurts_.  It physically hurts me.  And I know it hurts him, too.  He’s afraid, and I understand that, but I…”

“Yeah?”

Mossy eyes found warm chocolate, and Eren felt himself crack, just a little, voice doing much the same as he said, “I’m going to kill somebody, Jean.  I told Levi, and he probably thinks I’m manipulating him.  But I can’t control what I’m doing.  It’s not…I don’t even know what to call it.  It’s not jealousy.  I’ve felt that.  This is…it’s…disgusting.”

“You really are ass over tea kettle for him, aren’t you?”

Eren laughed and wiped at wet eyes, nodding.

“I know he’s nearby.  I mean, he lives down the hall, but...I’ve felt him stop outside the door.  When he moves away, it feels like my heart is trying to pull itself out of my chest to follow him.  I know if I go to him, I’ll only push him further away.  But if he doesn’t come to me soon, I…” the shifter trailed off.  “I don’t want to hurt anybody.  I just want to be happy.  I want him to be happy.  But I can’t force him to choose me.”

“You’re a real fuckwit, you know that?” Jean said casually.

“Excuse me?” Eren growled.

“It’s been, what? Nine days, if that, since the two of you went from him handing you your ass on the daily to him handing you _his_ ass on the daily.  And from what I’ve heard through the grapevine, good ol’ alpha male Captain Levi ain’t entirely alpha anymore.  I’d say it’s safe to say he’s pretty fucked up right about now.”

Eren didn’t argue, much to Jean’s surprise and moderate dismay. 

“You’re not wrong to feel the way you feel.  I understand that it hurts, believe me, Jaeger, I do,” Jean turned his head away, hand reaching up to clutch at the area over his heart.  “But you can’t force him to be ready.  If you need help, then Armin, Mikasa, and I will help you.  And Connie and Sasha.  We won’t let you hurt anybody.”

The brunette stayed silent.

“For what it’s worth, Eren,” Jean began gently, “he’ll come around.  I lost control at the outpost, and I’m…I…”

“Jean…” Eren started.  He understood he was trying to apologize.

“I lost control, but before you started kicking the shit out of me, Levi was doing everything in his power to get us to leave.  And he wasn’t trying to protect _us._   Quite frankly, he was pissed enough that he probably would have fed us to a titan himself had one been around.  He was trying to protect _you_ , because he knew that you wouldn't be able to live with the guilt if something happened to us.”

“Levi is…”

“An asshole.  He’s a dwarfy, vengeful, asshole who’s too bossy, too impatient, and takes way too much joy in pounding the snot out of us.”

The shifter snarled a warning, but Jean was unconcerned by it.

“Regardless of all that, it’s been made more than clear that that asshole, for some gods forsaken reason, loves your sorry ass.”

“That’s what I’ve heard,” the brunette chuckled lightly.

“And it’s what I’ve seen.  He’ll come around, Eren.  Just give him time.  We’ll run interference where you need it.  Just…don’t get yourself killed before you can be happy, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Eren nodded, standing to follow Jean to the door.

The ash blonde reached for the doorknob, only for Eren to call out, “Hey, Horseface.”

“What?” he replied, turning while gritting his teeth.

And then he found himself enveloped by the shifter, arms wrapped tightly around his back.  He cautiously returned the embrace, feeling Eren sag against him in gratitude and hearing his muffled voice against his jacket.

“This never happened.”

“This never happened,” he agreed.


	46. Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this exactly what I wanted? No. Am I entirely happy with it? No. Am I entirely unhappy with it? Also no.

Levi stormed away from Erwin’s office and all the way back to his quarters.  Thankfully there was nobody in the hall to get in his way and he was able to fume his way back to his living space without incident.  He entered his room, quietly closed the door because he wasn’t an animal (Erwin’s office door didn’t count, he didn’t deserve nice things), and then stood staring at nothing.

He was on leave.  For an undeterminable amount of time.  What was he supposed to do with himself?  How was he supposed to be of any use?  The majority of his life had been spent thieving and killing.  It had always been for survival, but the purpose grew beyond himself once he had joined the Corps.  And now?  What was he now?

Levi had asked himself the same question over and over again, and he had no answer for himself.  While that normally wouldn’t have bothered him, it was mostly because the answer was either immaterial, he could find it for himself with some study, or, if it were something that was on a “need to know” basis, someone would tell him if he needed to know.  But the answer he sought wasn’t immaterial, and no matter how long he thought on it he could not come up with one on his own, and there was no one to tell him what the answer was.

He was still hopelessly lost.

_Find alpha._

“Shut up.”

**_We don’t need alpha._ **

“Shut up!”

_We are incomplete._

**_We do not need him to complete us._ **

“SHUT UP!”

It had been bad enough having one inner voice needling at him, but now there were two.  There were two and they were in conflict.  That only made things more difficult for the raven, as he sought balance in every aspect of his life.  There currently was no balance of any sort, and it unnerved and irritated him.  That’s what had driven him to scrub himself bloody raw when he’d showered.

When they were together at the outpost, Levi had believed his acceptance of being mated by Eren was acceptance of Eren himself, but he had realized far too late that he’d only accepted the situation in the moment.  He had accepted something he believed to be inevitable, and there was no point in fighting what most assuredly would come to pass.  But he could never tell Eren that.  The alpha would assume that such a thought process would amount to him being a rapist, and that couldn’t have been further from the truth. 

Levi had been entirely lucid, regardless of his pain, when he’d asked—begged, really—Eren to fuck him.  He had made a coherent and informed choice.  Nothing about what had happened between them had been non-consensual.  It wasn’t uncommon for omegas to fight an alpha the first time or two they came together.  It was ritualistic, not serious.  An effort for the alpha to further prove themselves as worthy.  If they couldn’t even pin down an omega weakened by their heat cycle, what use would they be against an alpha that wanted to steal them away?

He still felt dirty.

_No one would steal us from him._

**_We don’t need him to protect us._ **

“Just be quiet,” Levi wheezed into empty air, fingers tangled in soft onyx.  “Please, I just want some peace.”

His request was denied in the form of someone knocking on his door.

“No,” he responded to the noise.

It came again, more forcefully.

“Fuck off,” he tried again.

A forceful bang had the captain on his feet and ripping the door open, his face flushing with grand irritation.  He registered his own annoyance at his current inability to don his usual mask of indifference as he felt his face twist up in confusion, his eyes falling upon an unexpected visitor.

“Ackerman,” he spoke crisply, eyes narrowed.

“Captain,” she responded, voice clipped. “May I come in?”

“As I said the first time, “no,”” he snorted and made to close the door.

Her hand slapped down on it, holding it open.

“I’m not here to cause trouble!”

“And yet, here you are!  Trying to force your way into your superior’s room!”

“I need to talk to you about Eren!”

“What the fuck for?  So you can tell me how awful I am for him?”

“No!  To tell you that I was wrong!”

“Excuse me?”

Mikasa wrinkled her nose, looking left and right, seemingly anxious.

“Can we not do this here?”

“You sure as fuck aren’t coming in here,” the raven quipped.  He wasn’t going to allow another alpha into his quarters.

_He is the only one we want._

**_She is not welcome._ **

It figured they’d be in fucking agreement over the shifter’s sister.

“Hold on,” he groused.  “I need to put my boots on.”

* * *

Ten minutes later and the pair of them were walking through the parade grounds together.  The majority of the troops were inside for the night, sitting down in the mess or off in their barracks, so the two were left undisturbed save for the gnats that tried to bite at them.

“You called me out here,” Levi said as they strolled, “so talk.”

“You were right, sir.”

“About?”

Mikasa frowned, in part because she knew that the captain was goading her, but also because she wasn’t sure where to start.  She decided to start at the beginning.  The beginning being the past week.

“I was foolish and selfish.  Eren’s not…Eren’s…”

“Stuttering doesn’t become you, Ackerman.”

She glared into the darkness, forcing herself to speak.

“Eren is impulsive and rash, and foolish.  But I’m more so.  At least where he’s involved.”

Levi hummed his agreement.

“He’s had feelings for you since he was fifteen.  I…I was hoping it was just infatuation.  But it never got better.  It just changed.  How he expressed himself around you changed.”

The captain kept silent, unwilling to admit that for all his observational skills, he had never noticed.

“I knew that it hurt him, knowing that what he truly wanted most was out of his grasp.  It kept him up some nights.  He was truly lovesick, and I didn’t understand it.  He tried to throw himself into Hanji’s experiments, and I would get angry at him for it.  Those days were the worst ones.  The ones where he’d let her hack off limbs or remove an eye for her research.  He said it distracted him.”

“That’s…he…by the three walls, that’s fucked up,” Levi breathed.

“It is.  But he didn’t know how else to cope.  And Eren has always been willing to sacrifice himself for others.  For humanity, for Armin, for me…for you.”

“He’s an idiot to think I’m worth so much.”

“Maybe.  But an idiot in love can’t be persuaded otherwise.  I’ve stopped trying.”

“Why are you telling me all this, Ackerman?”

“Because as much as I hate admitting it, as much as it pains me to say it, and as much as I don’t like you…Eren loves you.  And I love Eren.”

A derisive laugh escaped Levi then, the raven stopping to face his counterpart, lantern light flickering over their faces.

“Are you giving us your blessing?  Is that what this is?”

“It’s not,” Mikasa responded a bit more sharply than she would have liked.  “It doesn’t matter if I give I to you or not.  It’s not about me and Eren will do whatever the hell he wants anyway.”

“I’m surprised you recognize that.”

The ravenette growled, reiterating, “I love Eren.  And I will always love Eren.  He’s the only family I have.  But I can’t give him everything he needs anymore, and you…make him happy.  You’ve been back almost three days now and all he wants is to be by your side.”

“You don’t think that’s healthy, do you?”

“It’s hilarious that you would ask me that,” she deadpanned.  “As much as you try to play it off, I know you love him, too.  I know that you dislike being separated.”

“And why would you say that?” Levi queried.  He was fairly sure he knew the answer, but he wanted to hear her admit it.

“You saved us from him.  And I know as well as you do that even if you hadn’t said it, even if you hadn’t told me, you did it for Eren.  He couldn’t live with that guilt.  He couldn’t live with that loss.  You two came back here absolutely reeking of each other, covered in marks…and I know Eren’s were fresh.  They had to be.  He heals too quickly for you to leave anything lasting on him.  He lives and breathes for you.  All I want is to see him happy.”

“I make him happy, huh?”

“You do.”

“He’s a fucking idiot.”

“He is.”

“I didn’t plan on any of this.”

“The world is a cruel place.”

“It is.  Goodnight, Mikasa.”

“Captain,” she nodded as she turned, disappearing into the darkness.

 


	47. Foolish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hitting a bit of a rut. Hoping it works itself out in the next couple days. Things are coming to a head, I'm just unsure which direction I'll go

Thick, pale thighs squeezed a tan waist, delicate wrists being pinned to the mattress by hands larger than his own.  He knew the owner of those hands wasn’t stronger than him, he was just bigger.  But goddamn if he didn’t love it.  Goddamn if he didn’t love the way rough palms ghosted over his flesh, the way bright eyes stared at him, as if he was the cause for the light that illuminated green irises, the way he sighed his breath into a kiss.

The way he loved, without effort or concern.

Levi loved it all.  He loved…

 “Eren…”

The captain received no response, save for the gentle squeeze of his ass and the slow push inside of him, long and drawn out.  It was enough to make him scream, but no sound was produced when he opened his mouth.  Fucked speechless.  How embarrassing.

“Why won’t you let me love you, Levi?” Eren spoke against his throat.

“I...am,” he gasped, eyes closed, head tipped away.

“No,” he sighed, a hand on Levi’s hip.  “You’re letting me fuck you.  Why won’t you let me love you?”

“I…because I…I…”

“It hurts.”

Levi inhaled sharply, eyes opening to try and gauge the alpha’s expression.  But the vision he was met with was that of Eren’s fading body.  He reached for it only to find his fingers passed straight through the image.

“You won’t let me love you.”

The raven said nothing.  He was only able to stare, wide eyed and terrified, as Eren faded away.  The warmth of his fingertips was gone.  The pressure of his body vanished.  The heat of his kiss evaporated.  And all Levi was left with was a viridian expression that stared at him and asked, “Why?”

Levi woke with a start, his hand pressing over his thundering heart and an all too familiar burn stinging his eyes.  He stared into the darkness, cursing how bereft he felt, disdainful of the loneliness.  He couldn’t stand it.  He _wanted_ Eren.  He _loved_ Eren.  He _needed_ Eren.

His mind refused him to allow it.

_He thinks we are worthy._

**_Alphas do not belong together._ **

_We are not alpha._

**_But we are._ **

* * *

Levi refused to leave his room the next day.  He showered in his private bath, skipped morning mess, and spent his time throwing the softest, fluffiest things he could find onto his bed.  He had no idea why he felt compelled to create such chaos, but he had been unable to quell the urge and so had given into it.

Seven hours into his self-imposed solitude he heard a knock on his door.  When he answered it no one was there, but on the floor waiting for him was a tray of food and a folded shirt with a note.  He scowled at the offering, primarily in confusion, and took it inside.  A slab of meat, more than what he should have been allotted, was surrounded by potatoes and some carrots.  The shirt was clearly one of Eren’s.  And the note?  He unfolded it after setting the tray of food on his nightstand, eyes flitting across the scrawling handwriting that…wasn’t Eren’s.

**_You keep calling for him, but he knows you’ll turn him away.  Here’s one of his shirts.  He made sure you were provided extra rations._ **

**_Jean_ **

_Alpha cares for us._

Levi snorted in derision, crumpling the note and throwing it in the trash bin.  He climbed back into his calamitous pile on the bed, burying himself in it as he growled.  He wasn’t sure what he was growling at, but he knew he was displeased, and the noise didn’t cease even after he’d disappeared beneath clothing and pillows.  When his stomach finally growled back at him he gave in and consumed the meal that had been provided for him.

He refused to touch the shirt, glaring at it from his fortress of linen.

* * *

 

Levi skipped dinner.  Levi skipped another morning mess.  Levi…skipped showering.  He chose to remain in his little…whatever it was, wondering why he wasn’t content in the space.  He couldn’t pinpoint what had him so restless and agitated, but he knew something was missing.

A knock on the door sometime around 9 AM had him dragging himself from his cocoon and trudging towards the door.  Yet again, when he answered it, there was no one there, but another tray of food awaited him.  Some sort of porridge with a couple slices of orange.  It was almost impossible to get oranges in the rations.  The only thing Levi liked more than oranges were grapes. 

He picked up the food, looking down the hall once more to try and discern who had left it this time.  His eyes fell on yet another shirt, its grey color blending into the stone of the floor.  He picked it up, a note fluttering underneath it which he also seized, and disappeared into his quarters.

**_If you leave the old shirt outside the door one of us will pick it up and bring it back.  You’re still calling for him._ **

**_Mikasa_ **

Fucking brats.

* * *

“Is he eating?”

“He’s leaving empty trays outside his room.”

“Has he sent any shirts back?”

“No.  But he hasn’t sent anything of his either.”

“I don’t care.”

“That’s a lie.”

“It’s not.  If he’s eating, I’m happy enough.”

“How long are you going to do this to yourself?”

“As long as I have to.”

“Eren…”

“Please leave me alone, Mikasa.”

“I can’t keep watching you suffer.”

“He’s suffering more.”

“Do you think you’re being selfless?  Do you think any of this is making a difference?”

“Nothing about this is selfless.  It’s entirely selfish.  I love him.  I don’t want him to belong to anybody else, and I don’t want to belong to anybody else.  I don’t know if it’s making a difference or not.  I know he’s calling for me more, not less.  I know that every instinct I have is screaming at me to go to him.  I know that right now…my instincts are wrong.  If I don’t wait, he’ll never come.”

“I hate it that he’s doing this to you.”

“I hate it that you don’t understand that he’s not.”

* * *

On the third day of Levi’s reclusion he woke to someone pounding on his door.  Not knocking, pounding.  He wasn’t in the mood to deal with anybody, regardless of whether or not they were delivering food.  The raven was feverish, his eyes were puffy from lack of sleep, and he ached everywhere.  He refused to entertain company.

“Go ‘way!”

“Levi!  You need to come out!”

Hanji.

“No I don’,” he slurred.  “Fugoff!”

“Nobody’s seen you in three days!  Petra thinks you’re dead!”

“’M ‘live,” he mumbled drowsily.  “Go ‘way!”

Hanji did not go away.  Hanji invited herself in.

Death to that mad hatter!

Levi hissed at her but made no attempt to crawl out of his cloth abode.  His eyes narrowed as she neared, but all his spitting meant nothing to her.  He’d nearly strangled her to death just a couple of days prior, and yet here she was, barging into his quarters.  It was no surprise to him really, but that didn’t make it any less annoying. 

It took the scientist a moment to find him, seeing as he was buried so deep in his linen mountain only a tuft of hair and steely eyes were visible.

“You look like hell,” she said without humor.

“Like you’re a bastion of beauty,” he snarked.

“When’s the last time you slept?”

“A couple hours ago,” Levi shrugged, sitting up with a wince.

“Oh?” Hanji inquired, staring pointedly at the captain.  “Did sleep come before or after you put on Eren’s shirt.”

Levi visibly paled, looking down at himself in near panic.  When had he put it on?  He didn’t remember putting it on.  He remembered very purposely shoving both shirts as far away from himself as possible.  And yet, one currently adorned his body.

“This isn’t…I didn’t mean…it’s not…”

“He’s quit eating, you know,” Hanji continued, ignoring his protests.  “The first day he threatened the kitchen staff, but then Armin pointed out to him that resorting to such violence was unnecessary.  He simply started giving you his rations in addition to your own.”

So that’s where the extra food had come from.

_Alpha provides for us._

**_We can provide for ourselves._ **

Levi whined and curled in on himself, hiding his face in his knees, palms pressed flat to his head.

“Tais-toi!  Don’t.”

“Levi?”

“They won’t shut up.  How do I make them shut up?” he exhaled with a shudder.  “I thought if I stayed away long enough, it would all stop.  But they only get louder.  They fight.  I can’t think.  I can barely sleep.  I just want…I want…”

 “Levi, tell me, who has been getting louder?  Who’s fighting?”

“The alpha and the omega.”

“Your instincts are at war,” she said, more to herself than to him.

“I can ignore one, but not both.  And they’re just so fucking _loud_ ,” he whimpered, trying to submerge himself in his fortress again.

It wasn’t unusual for someone who had just presented to be unable to ignore their new inner voice.  It took months to learn how to master one’s will over their instincts.  And even though Levi had already done so once before, rather than the old voice fading, a new voice had joined it…and they were in a power struggle.

Brown eyebrows knitted together taking the time to look about the room.  Levi was most assuredly nesting.  He was no more aware of it than he was of the courting rituals he’d engaged in at the outpost, but that didn’t make it any less true.  She needed to examine him, someway, somehow.  It was no longer a matter of choice.

“I need to run some tests.”

“I don’t want you to touch me.”

“I don’t have to,” she assured him.

“No?” he asked, skeptical.

“No.  If I bring you some syringes, can you draw some blood for me?  I know you know how.”

Levi frowned, swallowing down his growl of suspicion.

“Why?”

“If I can look at your blood I can start working on some suppressants for you.  I can’t do that without study.  Not safely.  If I can tailor make something for you, I can at least get your inner voices to quiet down.”

The captain seemed to hold a debate with himself, eyes flitting back and forth as he stared at his lap.  He was weighing the pros and cons.  When he finally raised his head to offer a single nod of affirmation, Hanji moved to leave, planning on grabbing the supplies from her lab.

Before she left, she looked over her shoulder, eyes sad, and said, “You keep calling for him.”

“If that’s true, why doesn’t he come?”

“Because he knows you’ll turn him away.  Stop doing this to yourself, Levi.  Let him help you.”

“He doesn’t need me.”

“He’s starving himself for you!”

“He’s foolish.”

“You’re blind,” she bit back, clearly frustrated with him.  “You’re torturing him!  I know you Levi!  I know you’re not this cruel!  Stop this.  I am begging you, please, _stop_.  You don’t have to do this to yourself and Eren doesn’t deserve it.”

Hanji slipped out the door and down the hallway before he could think of a response.

“He doesn’t need me,” he said to no one.

_We need him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tais-toi! - Shut up!


	48. Draw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit boring perhaps. Two or three more chapters until "the big thing". Maybe.

Hanji stormed away from Levi’s room as quickly as she could.  Her frustration with the raven quickly transformed into anger at herself.  She’d lost he temper when she shouldn’t have.  It was clear that Levi was under a great deal of psychological stress.  While his behavior was baffling to some degree, having the solution available to him, it simultaneously made sense, and it was unfair to blame him for his responses.

That he was nesting was deeply concerning to her.  There was only one reason for him to be doing so.  And though she should have made a bee line for Erwin’s office to discuss her thoughts, she only returned to her lab, gathered six syringes and needles, and then made her way to Eren’s quarters.  Eren deserved to know of her suspicions before the commander did.  Even as understanding as the shifter was, he didn’t deserve to hear it second hand.

Upon approaching Eren’s quarters she noticed Jean, apparently standing guard.  She tipped her head in curiosity, wondering what he was doing hanging around.  He was lackadaisically leaning against the wall, but he still very much appeared to have a purpose for being there.  The doctor was certainly not one to let a chance for study evade her.

“Hey there, Jean!  What’s shaking?”

“Just keeping our friendly neighborhood titan shifter from unduly murdering anybody,” he replied, tone bored.

“Is he that bad?” she questioned, disbelieving.

“Mikasa and I can’t go in anymore.  He can’t tolerate us,” he shrugged.  “So only Armin, Connie, and Sasha can deal with him.”

Not good.  Not good at all.

“Is anybody in there now?”

“Armin.  He’s been trying to convince Eren to eat something.  Or at least shower,” he wrinkled his nose at the last bit.

“Alright then,” she said cheerily.  “Guess I’ll relieve Armin!  We have things to do, yes we do!”

She slipped inside Eren’s room before Jean could stop her.  The smell that hung heavy in the air felt like a punch to the face.  A nearly unbearable combination of distress and anger invaded her senses, and she recoiled at the onslaught.  With a shake of her head and a hefty snort, she looked towards Eren’s bed.

Armin sat just off to the side, clearly monitoring but not touching.  The alpha was curled up in a ball, shivering violently, breath catching intermittently.  He was crying.  Hanji knew that he was aware of her presence, his body shifting towards her location just slightly before he returned to his sobbing.  A quick glance to the blonde beta had him up and moving, though he paused beside her to speak before he continued on his way.

“Be careful.  He’s…a little unstable.”

She nodded and waited for Armin’s full departure, not daring to venture any closer to the bed without assessing the shifter’s state of mind.

“Hello, Eren.”

“Why are you here?” he ground out, back still to her.

“To check on you.”

“You should leave.  I’m not safe.”

“I don’t believe that.  Not for a minute.”

“You should.  I’m a terrible liar.  Everybody knows that.  Levi…knows that.”

“That’s the other reason I’m here.  To talk to you about Levi.”

That had Eren sitting up, body rigid, expression wild eyed.  He was on high alert, ready to bolt down the corridor and take care of his mate.  Hanji just held up her hands in an attempt to soothe him and get him to relax.

“He’s ok, Eren.  Levi’s alright.  He’s still in his room.  He got the food you sent to him.  You’re doing a good job taking care of him.”

“A good job,” the brunette huffed a wry laugh.  “He won’t even see me.”

“I know, and we’re going to talk about that.  But…there’s something you need to know first.”

“What?” he sniffled, rubbing the back of his hand over his eyes.

“Levi’s nesting.”

Eren frowned, not comprehending the situation.

“Why would he do that?  That doesn’t make any sense.”

“You’re right, it doesn’t.  But he is.  And that’s something a pregnant omega usually does.”

Eren’s jaw dropped open and he felt his gaze darting every which way, unable to focus.  He immediately began whining, voice calling to his omega.  He stood up and sat down and stood up and paced and sat down over and over again.

“Eren!  Eren you have to calm down.  Calm down.  Just sit.”

The brunette whined again, rubbing his fist against his chest, trying to find something to focus on.  Anything.

“Do you know for sure?”

“No, I’m sorry.  And I won’t until I get some blood samples.”

“He won’t let you touch him.”

“I know.  He’s agreed to draw them for me.  No touching necessary.  But…I need some from you, too.”

“Mine?  Why?”

Unlike Levi, Eren wasn’t suspicious, just curious.

“The suppressants we have on hand are formulated for someone who is an alpha _or_ an omega.  Levi is both.  Chances are that they won’t work on him.  I need samples from both of you to analyze what’s going on his body and to see how he’s been responding to you.  It’s likely that I’ll need to use your blood as a base for the formulation.”

“Oh.”

“You really are doing an excellent job caring for him, you know.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

“I know.  But you’ve been more patient than any of the rest of us.  He was wearing one of your shirts when I saw him just a few minutes ago.”

“He…was?” Eren felt the corner of his mouth quirk up, a feeling of hope blossoming in his chest.

“Yeah, he was.  And as patient as you’ve been, I think you need to start putting a little more pressure on him.”

“I’ll scare him away.”

“You won’t.  Not if you play your cards right.  We’ve all been waiting for him to come to you, but clearly that’s not how things are going to play out.  He’s too afraid.  And you can’t force your way into his space, you still need to exercise patience.”

“So, what do I do?”

“He’s feeling insecure and distressed.  He’s nesting.  He’s tired.  I want you to find as many soft things as you can, things he can wrap himself up in, and scent mark them.”

“And then what?” the brunette asked softly, afraid of what may come next.

“Go to his quarters and knock on his door, just like you’ve had the others do when they leave him food.  Offer him food and an article of clothing, just like you have been.  The only difference is that you’ll be there.  You don’t need to look at him, you don’t need to speak to him.  You only need to make the gesture.”

“He’ll shut me out,” Eren’s voice wavered, already agitated at the prospect of turning away.

“It’s likely that he will at first.  But he won’t keep this up, honey.  He can’t.  And he doesn’t really want to.  You need to meet him half way.  He knows you’ve heard him calling, even if he hasn’t meant to.  He doesn’t understand why you haven’t come to him.”

“Because he doesn’t…”

“He does.  He does, sweetheart.  This is the one time in his life that Levi isn’t directly telling anybody what he actually wants or needs, because he’s struggling with articulating it himself.  But you have to try.  You _have_ to _try_ , Eren.  It’s not good for him to be alone through this.  It’s too much.  Just your presence outside the door could be enough of a catalyst for him to stop torturing you both.”

“If I’m in the hall…people have to pass by.  I’m not…I don’t think I could keep myself from…”

“There are only a couple more officers beyond Levi’s quarters.  They can be moved temporarily.  They may fuss about it, but it’s for the greater good, eh?  Connie, Sasha, and Armin can bring you food, and if you need a break, you can return to your own room until you calm down.”

Eren looked directly into hazel eyes then, voice serious as he said, “Once I start standing watch there, I won’t leave.”

“That’s fine,” she said.

Eren held out his arms suddenly, legs bouncing about with a nameless energy.  He started at Hanji pointedly, gesturing towards his extending limbs with a, “Well?” escaping him.

“You’re ok with this, then?”

“Will it help Levi?”

“Most likely, yes.”

“Then do it.  Don’t ask me anymore questions.  Just…please.”

“Alright, Eren.”


	49. Vigilant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a quiet sort of chapter

Getting blood from Eren was somewhat of an ordeal.  Much like Levi, he didn’t want to be touched by anybody else.  However, unlike Levi, Eren wasn’t capable of drawing his own blood.  He snarled all the while, but Hanji managed to take two vials full from a vein in his arm and one from a scent gland.  The draw from the scent gland pissed the alpha off pretty significantly and she made a mad dash for the door before he could retaliate.

There was nothing for the shifter to do except pace then, having been instructed to wait at least another full day before attempting to see the raven.  He was to scrub himself down with unscented soap, collect anything soft he could find, and then scent mark it as heavily as he could.

He did just that.

His new quarters provided him with a private bath, just like Levi had, and he took advantage of it.  Not a single inch of him was left untouched by soap.  He even took his bath brush and scrubbed beneath his finger nails.  When he had emerged from his scouring he found a pile of various furs, pillows, and scarves waiting on his bed.  The furs were a bit old and worn, but they were extremely supple, almost silken to the touch. 

Eren briefly wondered how his comrades had procured all of the items, but his concerns were quickly forgotten once he started marking them up.  He rolled, twisted, and turned all over them, taking the very softest items to rub against his throat, soaking them in pheromone laden oil.  His vocalizations were loud enough to hear down the hallway, announcing to Levi that he was still around, still waiting, still lonely without his mate.

He received no answer and tried to ignore the pang he felt in his chest.

* * *

Levi moaned beneath his cover of blankets, clothing, and pillows.  He felt like absolute hell.  Hanji had returned a couple of hours after her original departure, syringes in hand.  He gave her blood from his arm and a scent gland (that had hurt like a motherfucker), and then returned to his strange little cave in search of sleep.

Sleep had not come.

Levi had tossed and turned trying to get comfortable, but he felt achy and nauseated.  Dinner had been left for him and he had brought it into his room, but he’d been unable to consume it.  He’d left it on his nightstand and let it grow cold.  His belly remained empty and that was quite alright with him, as he was not keen on vomiting.

What was not alright with him was the undeniable pull of the scent of Eren’s clothing.  Another shirt had been left for him and, aside from the one he was currently wearing, the other that had arrived prior was intermingled in his purposeful clutter.  He should have found the mess abhorrent.  He _had_ found it abhorrent…until Eren’s clothes had been added.  All he felt after that was bone deep satisfaction, nestling into the garment until he fell into a light doze.

His period of rest was short lived, soft knocking on his door waking him.  He tried to open his mouth to voice a complaint, but all he produced was a pathetic whistle of annoyance.  The knocking persisted, still gentle, as if the intent was to avoid offense.

Too fucking late for that.

Levi opened the door, prepared to see food and perhaps a new piece of clothing waiting for him.  He was mostly right.  There was food.  There was a delightfully soft looking scarf.  And there was Eren.  Eren, who did not look at him, but kept his head carefully bowed.  Eren, who notably swallowed while gently pushing his offering towards the captain, gaze carefully averted.

_Alpha came for us._

The raven stood in his doorway, dumbfounded.  He couldn’t think of any way to properly express himself, and he gave up on trying in short order.  He took a step back into his room and closed the door, biting back a needy whine when he heard Eren’s strangled voice, the brunette trying to hold in his own cries.

_Why do you reject alpha?_

**_Because we don’t need…_ **

“Shut up,” Levi choked out, crawling back into bed and curling up in as small a ball as he could handle.

* * *

Eren sat in the hallway for hours, valiantly doing his best not to break under the strain of Levi’s rejection.  He was walking a fine line.  He probably would have handled it better if Levi had seen him and then immediately run away.  But he hadn’t.  Levi had stood there, looked at him, stared at him, and then closed the door on him without a word.  As if he were nothing.

His heart was breaking.  Fracturing, splintering, shattering bit by bit.  He didn’t know how much more he could take.

Levi made it four hours before he caved to the need of taking up that scarf that waited in the hall.  Eren’s presence be damned, he had to have that cloth.  And so Levi crept to the door, opened it as cautiously as he could, as if he were a mouse peeking out of his mouse hole, and looked down to see Eren still there.  Still waiting.

_He hasn’t left us._

The food, now long cold, still remained on the tray, untouched.  The brunette nudged it towards the raven in silence, keeping his eyes on his lap. 

_Don’t scare him away._

Levi bit his lip, exhaling a shaky breath as he tried to speak.  In the end, he was only able to pick up the scarf and slink away.

Eren refused to cry.

Eren refused to cry until a note was slipped under the door to him.

_You can eat it if you want. I haven’t been very hungry._

_Levi_

He cried.  He ate.

He waited.

* * *

Eren wouldn't leave his post except to use the bathroom or give himself a quick wipe down in the bath.  He wasn’t an animal and certainly wouldn’t piss in the hallway, and though grime really didn’t particularly bother him, lack of cleanliness _did_ bother Levi.  He wouldn’t increase the chances of being rejected, regardless of how his instincts demanded that he stay put.

Halfway through the second day of his vigil he heard Levi retching, the wet sound of vomit hitting a container reaching his ears.  He scratched himself bloody to distract from the desire to break down the door and care for his love.  The wounds healed, food was brought, he offered it to Levi, and it was summarily rejected.

But Levi took the leather vest that had been offered.

One wouldn’t usually think of leather as being soft, but it wasn’t a thick piece of material.  It was clearly decorative, supple to the touch, almost buttery in feel.  Leather was also wonderfully porous, so scent marking it had been easy and satisfying.  His inner alpha was also suitably satisfied for the time being, purring at the knowledge that a second gift had been accepted.

Now if only Levi would accept Eren.

* * *

On the third day of Eren’s watch and the seventh of Levi’s seclusion, Levi woke feeling worse than ever.  He hadn’t truly eaten anything in three days.  He’d taken the toast offered with breakfast that morning, but hadn’t kept it down.  He was subsisting on water, if only to keep himself hydrated and mildly alert, which wasn’t really working.

He tried to pull himself out of bed, but the energy to move his limbs was nonexistent.  His mouth opened and closed repeatedly until the tiniest chirping whine passed his lips.  He didn’t expect an answer.  Not with the way he’d treated Eren.  And yet, somehow he still hoped.  He chirped again, the noise dying in a throat that was far too dry.

A muted croon reached his ears.

_Alpha is still here._

Levi mustered all the strength he could, rolling himself over and falling to the floor.  He had to use the nightstand to pull himself up, and he had to use the wall to hobble to the door, but he made it.  The room spun and his legs felt like noodles, but he’d made it nonetheless.  The raven tried for a stronger call, but he couldn’t get his voice to work right.

It didn’t matter.  Eren answered anyway.

Eren always answered.

Every whimper, every chitter, every chirrup, was met with a croon, a warble, a rumble of offered comfort, and Levi was grateful.  Even as he lay on a dirty floor in a soiled shirt pressed against stone that wasn’t cool enough to quell the heat of his overly warm body, he was grateful.

_He won’t leave us._

**_We don’t need him._ **

“I do,” Levi rasped at his inner alpha.  “Shut the fuck up.  I do.”

Eren hadn’t heard his words, the captain knew.  There was no reaction from the other side of the door and there most assuredly would have been if he’d heard.  That was ok.  He still had time.  They still had time.

Surely they had time. 


	50. Pull

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's sweet...and then it gets super angsty. The next chapter will make y'all happy though, so don't fear! It's almost time for them to do the big thing!

Their exchange lasted for hours, Levi on the floor, too weak to stand, Eren outside the door, crooning gently.  Their vocalizations never stopped.  Nothing less than Levi opening the door would end their existence in limbo.  Eren was physically capable of opening it, but would not.  He would not enter Levi’s inner sanctum without permission.  Not unless he was in imminent danger.

Levi wasn’t in danger.  He was distressed, the scent wafting beneath the door telling the brunette that much, but not desperately so.  The brunette’s continued presence was keeping him calm.  Eren suggested neither food nor water, and Levi didn’t ask for either.  Speech was unimportant.  All of their communication was shared via pheromones or cautious vocalizing.  Words meant nothing.

* * *

Sasha made an appearance in the early afternoon, a tray of food from the mess in her hands.  The jovial greeting she was ready to offer died on her lips when feral growling caught her attention.  Eren’s eyes were glowing, bright and vibrant, his scent heavy enough to choke.  A clear warning to stay away.

The young soldier swallowed roughly, set down the tray as cautiously as she could, and backed away, eyes cast to the floor.  Eren watched every single step she took, bodyweight shifting forward to impress upon her it was best to leave.  He didn’t stop watching until she was gone.

The brunette heard Levi’s concerned calls through the door and answered with a low warbling noise.  Everything was fine, it was alright.  No threat to be had.  They were both perfectly safe.  Eren wouldn’t let anything happen to Levi.

And Levi believed him, because it was impossible not to.

* * *

Somewhere along the line the pair fell asleep, Eren laying down parallel to the door so he could sniff under it, Levi slumped slightly off to the side of the doorjamb.  Their respite was short, Levi waking first, soreness rousing him.  Eren followed shortly after, hearing the raven’s stirrings on the other side.

The captain whined as his inner voices started arguing again.  He wasn’t in the mood.  Especially not in regards to his bastard alpha side.  Had it always been such a huge thorn in his side?  The instinctual voice was meant to be helpful, a form of guidance.  Currently it felt more like a psychiatric hemorrhoid. 

_Let alpha in._

**_We are alpha.  He doesn’t deserve entry._ **

_We are lonely.  We are tired._

**_We are stronger than that._ **

“I am stronger than you,” Levi growled.  “I’ve always been stronger than you.”

That was a hard truth that Levi took great pride in.  Levi _had_ always been stronger than the voice of instinct.  Even when he was going through his first ruts and he was confused, and scared, and alone, he had never let the voice take over.  When he fought, it was to keep control of his home, of what little space he had to himself.  When he fucked, it was with someone who had consented, not because he needed to prove he was strong.  When he killed, it was to survive, not because he needed to prove his dominance. 

That voice had never had power over him.  It never would.

Levi braced himself up against the wall, forcing his legs to at least support him enough that he could reach for the doorknob.  He growled when he couldn’t get his sluggish, tingling fingers to grip it correctly.  A questioning croon reached his ears but he ignored it, focusing on turning the knob instead.

The door opened and Eren fell inside, having been leaning against it.  He landed back first in Levi’s lap, looking up into wondrous grey eyes before scrambling to turn over and remove himself.  He was stopped by Levi’s fingers catching his shirt, his stormy gaze flashing something unreadable as he stared at Eren.  And then the raven tugged, an almost imperceptible movement of fabric against the brunette’s skin urging him forward.

Eren complied, slowly creeping up Levi’s body.  He had just enough presence of mind to kick the door closed.  To shut the rest of the world out.  Nobody else was allowed to see him like this.  He wouldn’t allow it.  It was unacceptable.  It…

“Eren…”

Rapid fire thoughts ceased with the subdued utterance of his name.  The alpha went quiet and still as the raven leaned up and, with great care, nuzzled along his jaw until their throats pressed together.  All the tension melted out of the brunette, body sagging around the captain as he pulled him closer.  Labored breathing intermingled, fingers desperately wound into fabric so neither one could leave the other. 

Eren did not croon.

Levi did not whine.

They curled up together on the floor in complete silence, the only sound made being that of shifting clothing as they nuzzled and caressed and breathed each other in.  A hand to the back of a neck, a press of lips to a throat, a cheek rubbed against a jawline.

A breath shared in a kiss.

* * *

“You should eat something.”

“Not hungry.”

“It’s been three days, Levi.  Please?  I’ll get you anything you want.  Anything you’re willing to try.”

“Don’t feel good.”

Eren whined low in his throat but didn’t press the issue, a protective hand curling around Levi’s belly, his nose buried in his nape.

* * *

 

“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” Levi asked as green eyes roved over his face.

“Because I don’t want to forget the way you make me feel,” Eren answered honestly, fingers combing through midnight strands.  Levi’s hair was greasy and he didn’t even care.

“Sentimental brat,” the raven mumbled, tracing a thumb over a tan cheek. 

“Yes,” was the simple reply.

* * *

When Eren finally moved to get off the floor, Levi made to follow.  His goddamn legs still refused to work and he only fell back against the stone.  It didn’t matter.  Eren scooped him up in his arms and carried him into the bathroom, setting him on a chair in the corner before starting to fill the tub.

“What are you doing?”

“Drawing you a bath.”

“Am I so disgusting?”

“Never.  I just want to take care of you.”

_Let us love you._

“…Alright.”

* * *

Eren tended to Levi in the bath for almost an hour.  We washed his hair, massaged knotted muscles, scent marked him only to pull a washcloth over his skin and then scent mark him again.  He washed between fingers and toes, indulged in careful kisses, and crooned his adoration.

By the time the alpha had completed his task, Levi was almost drunk on his affections.  He’d wrapped the raven in terrycloth and carefully carried him to the bed, watching as he hunkered down in his nest.  His nest.  The one he’d built for reasons unknown to him.  But Eren knew.  Or at least, he thought he knew.  He didn’t want to dwell on it.

“Come lay with me?”

“Are you sure?  I don’t want to disturb your little mountain,” the brunette jested.

“It’s not right without you in it.”

Eren couldn’t hold back his smile, carefully crawling onto the bed to spoon with the smaller.  He sighed, mostly content, fingers absently stroking at the captain’s bare stomach.  Was there anything in there?  His inner alpha was certainly hoping so, but Eren knew that was something that Levi didn’t want.  And it was something that Eren didn’t need.  He hadn’t lied when he’d said Levi was all he needed.

And yet…

“Levi?”

“Yeah?”

“What…what would you do if you were…if you…were…”

“Spit it out brat.”

“What would you do if you were pregnant?”

Levi went rigid, nails digging into the back of the hand that rested on his belly before he responded, “Die.”

Eren was on immediate alert, curling himself around the captain, almost smothering him with his scent and presence.

“Don’t say that.  Not ever.”

“It’s the truth.  I’ve never wanted children.  And it’s not because of the world we live in, as shit as it is.  I’ve never had any desire to be a father.  And the idea of something growing in me, moving around, leeching off me…it’s disgusting to me,” he trailed off, almost ashamed of his admission.

“You matter more to me than reproducing.  If you ever were…I’d support whatever choice you made about it.”

Eren’s inner alpha screeched at him, absolutely incensed, but he didn’t care.  Eren liked children well enough, but he didn’t need copies of himself to be happy.  Family was more than blood.  Mikasa and Armin proved that.

“Why did you ask, Eren?” the raven questioned, tone laced with suspicion.

“You didn’t notice?”

“Notice what?”

“You…you really don’t see it, do you?”

Levi huffed, clearly confused.

“Look at everything around us, Levi.  Think about what you were wearing.  About the things I brought you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You’re nesting,” Eren whispered.  “This is…it’s what omegas do when…”

“Stop.”

“I’m not trying to scare you.”

“It’s not true.”

“Levi…”

“It’s not true!”

The alpha gathered up his anguished mate before he could think of trying to escape, crooning as deeply as he could, trying to calm him.

“I don’t want it,” the raven growled, voice cold.

The brunette jerked at those words.  It hurt to know that his children weren’t wanted.  But that was still more a function of his inner voice than his own feelings, and he tamped it down, refusing to let Levi loose.

“That’s fine.  It’s fine,” Eren started, lips against Levi’s temple.  “You don’t have to want it and I won’t make you try.  We can do whatever you want.  Just don’t fucking leave me again.  I can’t take it.  I can’t.  _Please_ , don’t do this to me anymore.  I love you.”

Levi succumbed to his panic then.  It washed over him all at once, but rather than trying to retreat and find solitude once more he emitted a pained keen and clung to Eren so tightly he left bruises on his skin.  And while Levi fell apart in his arms, Eren did his damnedest to try and hold them both together.


	51. Burdens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhhhhh....

Levi was huddled against Eren, the two of them buried deep in the raven’s nest.  Levi had decimated it in a fit of rage, but his instincts overrode him for the first time in his life.  He had fallen into a state of hysteria, hyperventilating over the realization that he couldn’t presently control the strength of his inner omega’s voice.  Eren had been forced to use alpha voice to calm him.  He had been careful in his usage, making sure he only soothed and didn’t control, but a stasis grip had also been necessary.  Levi would have hyperventilated to unconsciousness if he hadn’t done so.

The raven had finally fallen asleep, though he looked troubled in his repose, eyebrows knitted tightly together, lips pursed.  It wasn’t like their time at the outpost.  Levi had panicked while they’d been out there, but Eren had been able to connect with him, to ease his fears.  Having to consider the possibility of being pregnant?  Levi had immediately detached.  His silver gaze had gone vacant, his voice cold and laced with a strange sort of emptiness.

It broke Eren’s heart.

And Eren was struggling in a way he never had before.  He was used to sacrificing himself.  That was always a choice he readily made if he felt it was necessary.  But what was he supposed to do now?  He understood that Levi had no desire for children, and he truly didn’t either.  But the way Levi had so easily rejected the idea of _his_ children had put a pressure on Eren’s heart he didn’t even know existed.  It was an unfamiliar pain that he wasn’t comfortable with and didn't wish to experience ever again.

The brunette needed to unburden himself, but who could he talk to?  His sister, who hated his chosen mate?  Jean, who tried to be helpful but was inflammatory more often than not?  Hanji, who would only want to experiment on them more?  Even Armin wasn’t a suitable candidate at their current juncture.  He’d never had romantic feelings for anybody, and the idea of sex didn’t appeal to him either.  The only person he really had to talk to, the only person he _should_ talk to about his troubles, was Levi.  And he was in such a fragile state, the shifter wasn’t keen on making it worse.

He glanced down at the small form pressed so tightly to his chest, fingertips grazing a fine jaw before a warm palm settled over a pale cheek.  He smiled warmly when Levi instinctively nuzzled into his hand, frown relaxing the smallest bit.  A kiss was pressed to the crown of the captain’s head and Eren just breathed in the essence of Levi.

Pine, cedar, and…

Eren turned his head and blew the scent out of his nostrils before leaning back over Levi to snuffle at him more carefully.  A careful finger slid under the raven’s chin to tip his head up, the alpha dipping just close enough to take in the scent along his throat.

Cardamom and anise.

* * *

“Report.”

“Eren is with Levi in his quarters.”

“Have they bonded?”

“By the sound of general silence, the answer to that would be no.”

“They’re taking an obnoxiously long time with all of this.”

“It may seem so, given the sudden circumstances.  But bonds, mating or otherwise, don’t form out of nothing.  Eren is showing more patience and restraint than I would have thought humanly possible.  It’s quite a marvel, really.”

“I don’t need to be marveled, Hanji.  I need them to get on with it so we can have some semblance of order returned here.”

“But it really is amazing, isn’t it, Erwin?  That two people could make things so topsy-turvy?”

“What it is is troublesome.  And I know you’re hiding something from me.  Would you like to tell me now?  I’ve got plenty of burdens to bear already.  What’s one more?  Besides, knowing you, if I let it slide this one problem will soon enough multiply into five.”

“How do you _do_ that?”

“Walls have eyes and doors have ears, Hanji.”

Quiet fell between the blonde and brunette, Hanji flopping into a chair, legs akimbo.  She sighed and let herself go limp, staring at the ceiling as she said, “Levi might be pregnant.”

When Hanji received no response she dropped her head back down to see Erwin regarding her with a strangely blank look on his face.  He wasn’t calculating, wasn’t scheming.  She was fairly sure he wasn’t even breathing.  It was unnerving how still he was.

“When were you going to tell me?”

“After I had a conclusive answer.  After I’d told them first…they deserve to know before anybody.”

“Do you have a conclusive answer?”

“Not yet, no.”

“What’s the likelihood that he is?”

“I’d like to say it’s low, but an alpha is now an omega…at least partially.  It’s that whole intersex thing again.  But being secondarily intersex doesn’t necessarily make his primary biology intersex.”

“Meaning?”

“Levi has been in heat, but heats, like ruts, are hormonally based.  We all produce testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone regardless of our biological sex.  Being in heat doesn’t require ovaries, only an abundance of estrogen.  Pregnancy, however, is still dependent on an ovarian and uterine system, as that is what allows an omega or a beta to conceive.  The ovaries release eggs and the uterus holds the fetus.”

“Point, please?”

“Levi may be exhibiting many characteristics that make an omega an omega, but I can’t be sure if he’s developed those organs.  The only way to know would be to cut him open.”

“You’re not cutting him open.  And don’t smile like that when you say it.”

“I wasn’t smiling!  And besides, as fascinating as it would be to see Levi’s innards, the risk outweighs the reward at this point in time.  As it is, all I can do right now is work on creating some suppressants for him.  I can’t be sure he’ll go into rut ever again.  For all I know, he’ll cycle both ways…and that would take a tremendous toll on his body.”

Erwin tented his fingers and pursed his lips, the tips of his digits resting against his chin.  Things had surpassed complicated.  They were well beyond complicated.  The situation had absolutely obliterated the idea of complicated and landed squarely in the realm of undeniable calamity.

“How long will it take to formulate suppressants for him?”

“I have absolutely no way of giving you an answer.  It could be months, if not longer.  I’m having to work off of the assumption that Levi’s heats are triggered by Eren.  I don’t know if he’ll fall into a steady schedule like with his ruts.  I don't know if he'll cycle like a born omega or if he'll short cycle like he always has when he's gone into rut.  It's possible he could have another heat and then go through a rut immediately after it.  If they bond, it’s most likely that Levi’s body will settle into things, but I can’t promise that they will.”

“How much has he changed already?”

Erwin wasn’t asking about Levi’s secondary gender.  That was more than clear.

“He’s not the same man.  Would you really expect him to be?”

“No.”

“He’s not broken, Erwin, but all of this has taken a heavy toll on his body and his psyche.  Eren’s too.  Their recoveries could move along fairly quickly, or they could take months, weeks, years…”

“So the damage done is unknown.”

“It is.  All of this is.  I don’t believe any of it to be irreparable, but I can’t tell you with any sort of confidence or certainty that it’s not.”

Erwin exhaled in one long breath, displeasure flashing behind blue eyes.  He was caught in a corner, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.  Things were completely out of his control and he had no choice but to let nature take its course and Hanji do her work.

“I want every spare second you have dedicated to this issue.  I don’t care when you eat, I don’t care when you sleep, this is your priority now.  We can’t afford to put expeditions on hold.  It would mean the collapse of the Corps.”

“Neither one of them wanted it to be this way you know.”

“What any of us want in this world is irrelevant.  What matters is how things are.  That is what we have to deal with.  Get to work, Hanji.”

“Yes, sir.”


	52. Erupt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whistles innocently*

Eren kept up his sniffing.  He snuffled, and nosed, pushing at Levi’s jaw when the smaller tried to curl up and push him away.  He refused to give in, simultaneously befuddled and excited by the odor.  He whined, confusion and concern growing as his investigation continued.

Frosty eyes opened rather suddenly, an exhausted glare being leveled at the overbearing alpha.  A low growl worked its way out of the captain’s throat, lip curling up in a snarl.

“What are you doing you shitty brat?”

Eren whined again, arm wrapping around Levi’s waist to hold him close.  He was surprised when he wasn’t met with any struggle.

“I asked you what you’re doing.”

“You…smell good.”

“Well, you bathed me within an inch of my life.”

“You liked it,” Eren retorted, hand stroking along the raven’s broad back.  “But that’s not I mean.  I mean you smell _good._   How do you feel?”

Levi was quiet, trying to decide exactly what it was he felt.  It was a fair question.  He mostly felt warm.  Warm and weak and…

The loud grumbling of his stomach answered Eren’s inquiry.  Hungry.  Levi was hungry.

“Let me go find us some food, yeah?” Eren rumbled, nuzzling his face against Levi’s throat.  Tongue flicking out to taste.  Sweet.

The thought of eating still made the raven feel nauseous, but it had been almost four days.  He knew he had to eat something, even if it would also offer nourishment to the potential parasite inside him.

“Toast,” he acquiesced.  “Just toast.  No butter, no jam, just dry ass toast.”

“You’ll be alright if I leave you here?” Eren asked, worry creeping into his tone.

“I’ve taken care of myself for this long.  I think I’ll survive if you run down to the mess and grab me some damn bread, Eren.”

The brunette only laughed bringing a hand up to rest along Levi’s neck, his thumb stroking over the scent gland there.  He noted Levi’s shiver beneath his touch and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips before rolling out of bed with a sigh.

“I’ll be back in just a few minutes.  Just…just stay here, yeah?”

_Don’t run away from me._

“I can barely stand up.  I really don’t think I’m going anywhere, brat.”

_I’ll be here waiting._

* * *

Eren hurried down the hallway, the hand that had touched Levi’s scent gland held in the air.  While his first priority was to get Levi the food he ordered, his second was to find Hanji.  Eren knew what the odor was supposed to mean in regards to Levi, but it seemed too good to be true.  It seemed too easy.  He needed confirmation.

Food first.  His mate was hungry.

_Must provide.  That is our job._

“Would you calm the fuck down?  I’m getting the damn toast!” he growled at his inner voice.

* * *

It was the toast the broke Eren.  Fucking.  Toast.

Four trips.  It took the alpha four goddamn trips down to the mess to retrieve toast that Levi found acceptable.  The first batch had been too dark.  Levi had declared he’d requested toast, not fucking charcoal.  The second batch had been too light, and Levi had said that if he’d wanted bread just past baked he would have had Jean make it.  The third attempt had been declined because the raven swore it had Erwin’s face toasted into it, and he’d be damned if he ever ate Erwin.

When Eren placed plate number four in Levi’s lap it was with a cold sort of care, his body taut with tension, eyes mildly hard.  The thought of going to see Hanji had left him entirely.  Levi muttered a thank you, consumed his meager meal, and set the plate aside on his nightstand.  When his gaze fell on Eren he took note of the way he held himself, leaning against the wall near the bedside, watching, waiting.

“What?” the brunette asked, trying to hold back his irritation.

“You’re angry.”

“I’m not angry.”

“You’re a shitty liar.  You always have been.”

“I’m not angry.”

“Yell at me.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you’re angry with me.”

“I’m not…” the alpha ground out, balling his hands into fists beneath his armpits.

“You’re turning red, you idiot!”

“What does it matter if I’m angry?  It changes nothing.  You taught me that,” he responded, voice deceptively calm.

“I taught you that misdirected anger, that baseless fury, is pointless.  I never said that anger changes nothing.  It can change everything.”

Eren remained silent, dropping his eyes to the floor.  His arms remained crossed over his chest, legs crossed at the ankle.  Everything about his body language was making a statement that he wasn’t interested in talking anymore.

Levi spoke anyway.

“The toast was soggy.”

A low chuckle sounded from Eren’s position on the wall.  It bubbled up into a disbelieving laugh until the sound was near hysterical.  Tan fingers twisted in the chocolate mess he called his hair and tears welled up in his eyes as he pulled at the strands.

“You’re an asshole,” the brunette laughed without humor.  “You are a selfish, arrogant, self-righteous, stubborn prick!”

Levi voiced no objections.

“You just abandoned me here!  You left me all alone, thinking I’d done something wrong.  You hid away like a coward!”

The captain flinched slightly at the last assertion, but still made no rebuttal.

“I have supported you, defended you, was prepared to fight with my family over you!” Eren snapped, stalking over to the bed.  “I stayed away from you because I thought that was what you wanted!  Even while you were calling for me!  I _know_ that you were!  I smelled you!  I _heard_ you when you thought you weren’t making any sound at all!”

“And?”

“And?  AND!?” Eren’s voice rose, his upper body moving to block any attempt at escape Levi may have made.  “And I stayed in my room, made sure to lock myself up and have my friends stand guard, to keep from harming other people!  Because all I wanted was you!  All I cared about was you!  And you wouldn’t even fucking see me!  Am I not worth more to you than some play thing?  Am I not worth more than a stray dog that’s kicked around in a gutter?”

Eren was nose to nose with the raven, teardrops falling into the pile of clothing the smaller was still buried in.  He stared into frosted steel, his heart thundering in his chest, sure he was about to hear Levi ordering him to leave again.  But a cool palm alighted on his cheek, a feverish forehead pressing to his own. 

He wrapped a hand around a thin wrist, seeking an anchor as he spoke again.

“Why don’t you want me?  Why don’t I mean anything to you?”

“Oh, Eren,” Levi exhaled, “you mean everything to me.”

“Then why do you keep trying to send me away?” Eren coughed, tears wetting pale fingers.

“Because you deserve so much better, so much more, than what I am.”

“There is no one better for me.  There is no “more” for me.  You’re all I want.  You’re all I need.”

“Why?”

“Why do you think you don’t deserve to be loved? Why do you think I can’t love you?”

“You don’t know the things I’ve done in my life, Eren.  I’m not…I’m not worth loving.”

“You’re right.  I don’t know all the things you’ve done.  But those things don’t matter.  They don’t matter unless you want them to matter, Levi.  Who you were then isn’t who you are now.”

Levi brought his free hand up to rest on Eren’s other cheek, thumbs brushing away still falling tears.  He kissed the salty droplets as they fell, lips making their way to the brunette’s mouth where he placed a tentative kiss.

“I’m sorry,” he said with a heavy swallow.

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry.  Just let me love you.  Let me stay.  I don’t…I don’t want to hurt anymore.  It hurts to be apart from you.”

“I hurt you,” Levi rumbled as he nuzzled into Eren’s neck.  It was a statement, not a question.

“Yes,” Eren shuddered out, arms wrapping around Levi’s torso.

“I was cruel.”

“Yes.”

“But…you still love me anyway,” the raven finished, confused.

“Forever,” the alpha sniffled, pulling Levi closer.

“Eren, I…”

“I know you.  I know who you are, Levi.  I know you because I _love_ you.  And I love you because I know you.”

Levi found himself speechless, unable to comprehend the unwavering devotion and unyielding adoration that Eren possessed.  He knew he had been cruel to the alpha.  He knew he had caused him suffering.  And still Eren had come back to him.  Levi had rejected the idea of his offspring, and Eren still remained.  Eren was…Eren…was…

“Mine."

“What?”

“You’re mine,” Levi reiterated before suggestively biting down on one of Eren’s scent glands.

“ _Levi_ …”

“Make me yours.”


	53. Traverse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost. Almost.
> 
> Somebody's gon' be mad about this. I already know it.

Eren crushed his mouth to Levi’s the moment the raven’s declaration left his lips.  He kicked and shoved at linen and cloth, dumping it all on the floor to give himself more room, halfheartedly apologizing when Levi barked a complaint.  He suddenly couldn’t figure out where to put his hands because he needed them to be everywhere.  He needed to touch and taste every square inch of that milky skin.

“Tell me again,” the brunette pleaded in between kisses.  “I need to hear it again.”

 Small hands rose to press against Eren’s cheeks and then slide up into his hair, fingernails scratching lightly at his scalp.  Levi warbled at him, that strange noise somewhere in between an omega’s whimper and an alpha’s croon, and Eren started to droop just the slightest bit.

“Calm down.  I promise I’m not going anywhere.  No more running.”

“Please,” Eren whimpered again, palms pressed to Levi’s ribcage.  “ _Please._ ”

“Bond me,” Levi spoke against his mouth, eyes bright as he stared into verdant green.

And Eren was on him again in an instant, lips sealing over a scent gland to suck at it.  Levi emitted an ungodly squeal, fingers pressing to the back of Eren’s head to hold him in place, moaning as a soft tongue laved at the spot.  They hadn’t even done anything and the raven already felt himself spiraling out of control.

One of Eren’s old shirts and a flimsy pair of military boxers were quickly discarded, lost to the bedlam of material on the floor.  Levi was grateful for it, as the clothing had become irritating against his skin.  Eren was only able to slow himself down once Levi was bare beneath him, vulnerable and open.  His eyes raked over every inch of creamy skin, fingers following the path of his gaze, retracing every scar, mark, dip, and curve he’d previously been acquainted with. 

He closed his eyes to remember what Levi had felt like under his hands at the outpost.

He opened them to the reality that this wasn’t even remotely the same.

Eren’s Adam’s apple bobbed, careful fingers gliding along the tops of thick thighs, sliding down, then up, thumbs dipping into the crease of Levi’s groin.  He smiled when the captain’s hips twitched, bowing over the smaller to trail kisses from sternum to abdomen, pointedly ignoring the stiff arousal between his legs.  His nostrils flared as he picked up scent from his inner thighs, growling to himself as the sweet spiciness of cardamom pervaded his nose.  The earthiness of anise followed closely behind and the alpha sighed, slipping careful fingers between the cheeks of an all too perfect ass.

They came away wet.

Eren flicked out his tongue to taste and felt his eyebrows disappear into his own hairline.  Honey sweet.  He scrutinized the male beneath him more carefully, cataloging the heavy flush he bore from face to chest, the sweat on his brow, considered his physical weakness.  The alpha had suspected earlier in the day, but now he was sure.

“You’re in heat.”

“I…what?” Levi croaked, arching his back in an attempt to get Eren to touch him.

The brunette bit his lip, one sharp canine pressing into the plump flesh as he showed the raven his glistening fingers.

“You’re in heat,” he repeated.

Eren watched narrowed eyes widen and pupils dilate before curving back over Levi to claim his mouth, tongue delving inside.  He put everything he had into that kiss.  Every ounce of love, every speck of adoration, every thought of devotion he’d ever had.  When he pulled away Levi cried out, gripping at Eren’s shirt, his arms, anything he could reach, his grip desperate.

“Don’t leave me.”

“I have to go get Hanji.”

“What?  No!  Not now!”

“Yes, now,” Eren spoke lowly, trying to keep Levi calm.

“I don’t want to see her!”

“You have to.  _We_ have to.“

“No!”

“I’m not giving you an option this time!  Children aren’t something we want!  You admitted you’d rather die than bear any!” the alpha shot back, recoiling at the nausea that rose in his stomach.  He wasn’t sure if it was from the thought of losing Levi, or from the rejection of potential offspring, but it was a moot point.  “At the very least we need supplies that could prevent it.  We can’t take the risk again.  I won’t lose you to something we can stop.”

Levi licked his lips, swallowed, searched Eren’s face for any sign that he would back down.  It was clear that the alpha was making a stand and he wasn’t going to be swayed.  Levi’s inner omega was wholly pleased.  The alpha was pissed.  He told it to shut up.  Even though he felt some consternation about Eren’s declaration, the raven gave in.

“Not in here.  I don’t want her in here.”

“That’s fine,” Eren agreed, expression softening.  “I’ll put you in my room.”

Without another word, Eren wrapped Levi up in a couple of furs that had made it into his hoard, following it up with the comforter from the bed.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t want anybody to see you.  And I figured the comforter would feel unpleasant.”

“Oh…”

“I’m not ashamed of you, Levi,” the brunette reassured with a nuzzle.  “But nobody should get to see you like this but me.  I don’t want to let Hanji put a damn hand on you, let alone look at you.  But I have to.”

“Yeah…alright.”

* * *

When Eren departed from Levi’s quarters, the raven bundled tightly in his arms, he made a beeline for his room.  Every step was taken with purpose, his eyes ever watchful, searching for any signs of trouble.  His scent was one of warning, a dare for anybody to challenge him over his prize, to take what he had earned for himself.

“Calm down, no one’s here.  Everybody’s asleep,” Levi chastised, though he nestled deeper into Eren’s arms.

“Can’t help it,” Eren muttered in reply.

Their arrival at Eren’s room was swift, the alpha ducking inside with great haste to place Levi on his bed with equal care.  When he tried to leave to fetch Hanji he was quickly reeled back in.  The raven had shimmied out of his linen and fur burrito, a hand twisting into the brunette’s shirt to pull him down and seal their mouths together.

“You can go, just…just not yet.  Don’t leave me like this,” the captain panted in between kisses.

“Alright.  Alright.  I won’t go anywhere, just calm down,” Eren rumbled at him, pressing his body into the mattress.  “You’re fine, Levi.  I won’t let anything get to you.”

A whine reached Eren’s ears, followed by a strong roll of Levi’s hips against his own.  Truthfully, the pull of the heat wasn’t terribly strong yet.  Levi was aroused most certainly, but his current agony wasn’t caused by an oversensitivity of his skin or the unwavering desire to be fucked into oblivion.  It was the idea that Eren would leave him and not return.  Because why should he return?  Why should he come back, yet again, to a broken man who didn’t even recognize who he was anymore?

“Because I love you,” Eren exhaled, pressing a kiss to a sweaty forehead.

Levi hadn’t even realized he had been talking.

“Stop,” he spoke quietly, taking Levi’s wrists his hands, thumbs drawing circles over his pulse points.  “Just stop.”

Eren decided then that words were pointless.  He mentally kicked himself for not acknowledging it sooner.  Actions had always meant more to the captain.  They were proof of one’s conviction, of their commitment to a cause.  Eren was ok with that, thrived on it.  Inaction had never been a strong suit of his.

He peppered kisses over the raven’s flushed face, slid his hands around to Levi’s back before drawing them down to cup his ass.  His mouth found a pulsing scent gland and he sucked on it as his fingers worked into the flexing muscle of Levi’s backside.  A shaky groan spurred the alpha to continue, one of his hands moving from Levi’s ass to his cock to stroke in a loose grip.

“Fuck, Eren!”

“You can do that, if you want,” the brunette chuckled.  “I don’t mind.  I like it.”

Levi’s hips bucked upwards at the confession, some strange noise between a moan and a whimper escaping him.  This kid was going to be the death of him.

“’M not a kid anymore,” Eren husked, increasing the pressure on the length in his hand.

When Eren switched sides to suck the opposite side of Levi’s throat, attacking his other scent gland, the captain was sure he was going to lose it.  His eyes rolled back in his head, back arching upwards as he sought more friction.  He was so close.  So, so close…

“You taste so sweet, Levi.  Is this all for me?”

“I…I…”

The pad of Eren’s thumb swept over the head of his weeping dick and Levi cried out again, shout growing twice as loud when the same was done to the gland that Eren’s mouth wasn’t attached to.  Jesus fuck, was he going to come from a little necking?!

“Do you feel good?” Eren purred, voice surprisingly debauched.  He was wrecked just _touching_ the other man.  It was insanity.

“Oui,” the raven sighed, the push of his hips into Eren’s palm growing more insistent.

“Sweet boy.  So perfect.  So beautiful.  So mine,” the brunette replied before claiming the other’s lips once more, thumb stroking along that scent gland more firmly, hand jerking Levi’s dick quick and efficient, squeezing around the tip.

Levi sobbed into Eren’s mouth, fingers scrabbling at his back, streaks of red blooming on tan skin.  His cock pulsed and his hips twitched, spilling into Eren’s palm, rolling waves of bliss washing over him.  It wasn’t euphoric as he had previously experienced, but it was satisfying, and he nuzzled into Eren’s neck after the taller had grabbed some tissues from the nightstand to clean them both off.

“As long as I have breath in my body,” Eren spoke into onyx hair, “I will always come back.”

“Why?”

“Because I belong to you.”


	54. Sanguine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a little bloody

Levi succumbed to sleep in short order, drifting off with his head pillowed on Eren’s chest.  The alpha had already assured him multiple times that it was alright to nap.  He would go retrieve Hanji and come right back, and he wouldn’t allow her inside the room until Levi was awake and coherent.  Overall it actually took considerably less convincing than Eren had expected, and once he was sure the raven was completely out, he extracted himself from the bed.

With Levi safely tucked beneath the furs he’d been initially wrapped in, Eren left the room.  He’d been provided with a key and locked the door, not to keep Levi in, but to keep others out.  It took him a few minutes to convince himself it was alright to leave, stomach churning with each step he took away from the door.

_Alpha should stay with omega._

The brunette felt his eye twitch.  He agreed with the voice, but it couldn’t be helped.  He had to go see Hanji.  Eren wasn’t just looking out for himself anymore, he had Levi to consider.  And as much as he knew that the captain absolutely could take care of himself in the long run, right now he was vulnerable.  It was Eren’s job to ease his fears and keep him comfortable and safe.

Lost in his thoughts, the pull of the semi-formed bond lessened by distraction, Eren traversed the halls on autopilot, so consumed in his focus on Levi that when his hand was grabbed his immediate reaction was to round on his perceived assailant, fist raised and teeth bared.  He was met with familiar hazel eyes and a disturbing manic grin.

“Hanji…”

“So you are still alive,” the beta chuckled, clearly unbothered by the hand that pressed her into the wall and the fist just inches from her face.

The alpha corrected himself immediately, removing his hand from her chest to tuck it into his own, other hand raising to grip at his wrist.

“I…I was just coming to see you.”

“Oh?  Funny that!  I was just coming to see you!”

So unwise.  But then, it was Hanji.  She most assuredly knew of the danger such action posed.

“Can we do this in private?  Please?” Eren asked, voice rough.  It was bad enough Hanji had to know his business.  He didn’t want anybody else to overhear.

“Of course!  Come on, I’ve got news for you!”

* * *

“I don’t have a lot of time, I need to get back to Levi,” Eren said, fidgeting in the entrance of the lab.

“It’ll go quick,” Hanji replied, fiddling with a microscope.  “Take a seat, let me grab my notes.”

“I really can’t stay.  I only came because…”

“Ah!  Here we are!” the scientist interjected.  “So I’ve run some tests on Levi’s blood.  It’s absolutely fascinating!  Well, it is to me at least!  What’s going on in his body has never been seen before, and…”

“Hanji!”

“Eh?” she raised her head, tipping it to the side as she regarded the shifter.

“I came here because I have to talk to you about Levi.  I wouldn’t have left him if it wasn’t important,” the shifter growled, patience wearing thin.

“Awww!  But I wanted to share my discovery with you!” she pouted.  “Hey, I know!  What say we share on three, yeah?”

“Hanji, please, I…”

“One, two, three!” she rattled off.

Eren was caught so off guard that he simply blurted out a response, Hanji answering in tandem.

“Levi’s not pregnant!” filled the room and the pair stared at each other, wide eyed and confused.

“How do you know?” they pointed at each other.

“How do you know!?” voices rose as their words continued in sync. 

“Stop that!”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Hanji held up her hands, asking for a pause in the interaction.  “Levi’s not pregnant, but how do _you_ know that?  I know it because his blood shows no raised levels of progesterone.”

Eren swallowed, bit his lip, and rubbed at the back of his hand before responding with a soft, “Levi’s in heat again.”

“Oh?” Hanji’s eyebrows raised, a diabolical grin spreading across her face.  “That actually makes perfect sense!”

“What?” Eren screwed his face up in confusion.

“Nesting is a behavior a pregnant omega displays.  That’s factual.  But with Levi’s nearly non-existent progesterone and the fact that you two have been separated, it seems his body threw him into a false pregnancy.  Your return brought him back into heat so you can theoretically try again.  Ooooo, the body is such a fascinating biological wonderland!”

“You…you’re telling me that his body pretended it was knocked up…to lure me back?”

“Bingo!”

“I can’t handle this.  I can’t…I…he...Hanji, he can’t be pregnant.”

“Pffft, duh.  I already told you that.”

“No, I mean he can’t get pregnant.  Not ever,” the alpha looked down at the floor, ears burning red.  He wasn’t sure if the flush was out of anger or fear, but he felt supremely uncomfortable.  “Levi said he’d rather die than ever have to carry a child.”

“Oh,” Hanji said, voice soft.  She offered a sympathetic smile to the other brunette, carefully reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder.  “And you’re ok with that?”

“Yes,” the shifter responded forcefully, no hesitation evident.  “I’d take Levi over that any day.  He’s all I need.”

“Good,” Hanji smiled more sincerely.  “Because, as I said, the traces of progesterone he has are minimal.  Well within normal range for an alpha, but pathetic for an omega.  He appears to be, at least as far as omega physiology is concerned, sterile.”

“So, I can…we can…”

“You can fuck ‘til you pass out and the only result will be that you’re both sleepy and sated,” she leered.

“Uncomfortable,” Eren wrinkled his nose.

Hanji only laughed at him.

“Is there anything else?”

“You’re planning to bond him, aren’t you, Eren?”

“Yes.  What of it?” the alpha replied, skeptical.

“Take the chance while you have it.  Don’t waste it.  It’s likely you won’t get another one.”

Eren only nodded solemnly before turning and exiting the lab.

* * *

“…need to go before Eren gets back.”

“I just wanted to check on you.”

“I don’t need to be checked!”

Eren heard a pair of voices as he traveled back down the corridor to his quarters.  He smelled the tension in the air before he saw anything.  One voice was clearly Levi’s, and the other was…

“This is ridiculous!  Things can’t continue like this!  You need to…”

“You don’t get to tell me what I do and don’t need to do, Erwin.  I’m on leave, remember?”

Erwin?

_Erwin._

_Competing alpha!  Will steal our omega!_

A loud snarl ripped through the air as Eren barreled down the hall, arriving just in time to see Erwin reach out a meaty hand and wrap it around Levi’s wrist.  The alpha saw red, but he didn’t even get a chance to react.  The captain was on the towering blonde before anybody had the chance to blink.  He was a whirlwind of snarling, hissing, biting, scratching, fucking _pissed_ omega.   The yowling could certainly be heard from where they were, but approaching footsteps halted abruptly when soldiers witnessed who the brawling parties were.

That was one giant ball of nope.  The soldiers would face down titans, they would put their lives on the line for humanity, but Commander Smith and Captain Levi battling it out was the biggest “fuck to the no!” any of them had ever seen.  They weren’t going to hang around for that carnage.

Erwin was large, but Levi was scrappy.  He was weakened, but it was still so early on in his heat that he was fast enough to befuddle even Erwin.  The raven took pot shots to Erwin’s ears, scratched at his face and throat, completely bypassing his leather clad chest.

Levi was making a statement.  A bold one.

_We don’t belong to him!  Not our alpha!_

**_Destroy him!_ **

Erwin, for his part, made no real effort to retaliate.  He only raised his defenses, taking bites to his hands and protecting his throat the best he could.  It was Levi who ended the bout, leaping back to stand in the threshold of Eren’s room, Erwin’s blood smeared on his mouth and drying beneath his nails.  Eren only approached when Levi’s eyes locked on his, a throaty growl continuously rolling his chest.

Erwin showed no sign of submission when he noted Eren’s approach, but he certainly made no attempt to escalate things either.  He said nothing at all to the duo, remaining still and silent as Eren crept past him, teeth bared, to pull Levi into the room, holding him tightly against his body even as he closed the door.

Erwin stared at the barrier for a minute or two before snorting blood out of his nose and shaking his head, a devious smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth before he turned on his heel to return to his office.


	55. Tip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm such a shit. I can't believe y'all put up with me

“I think I’ve only told you this twice in all the time I’ve known you, Erwin.  You’re an idiot,” Hanji chuckled, watching Moblit dab at his wounds with antiseptic.

“I succeeded in obtaining the needed result,” he said, flippant.

Erwin had calmly walked from Eren’s quarters to the lab, blood dripping down his face.  He’d kept the same purposeful pace he always had, as if he had nowhere and everywhere to be all at once.  Cadets and seasoned soldiers alike took in his marred visage with horror.  He hadn’t needed to tell anybody who had done it, as many had seen.  The grapevine would take care of the rest.

The commander couldn’t even be angry.  He had no call to be regardless, since he’d goaded Levi on purpose.  He’d understood his presence would be more than unwelcome.  And his injuries were not entirely superficial.  There were a couple of areas along his jaw where Levi had gouged out flesh, and the wounds in his hands were almost bone deep. 

That shit fucking hurt.

“How did you even know he was there?” Hanji queried, arms crossed over her chest.

“His scent was strongest in Eren’s room.  I didn’t make it to his.”

“He could have killed you, you know.”

“Which one?” Erwin grinned.

* * *

Eren stood just in front of the closed door, gently turning a trembling Levi around in his arms to view his face.  The raven was vibrating in his hold, but he wasn’t afraid.  His scent was spicy and strangely warm, grey eyes dilated and glassy.  His mouth was stained red, the tips of his teeth pinked by blood.  His nails were already crusted over with it, fingerprints visible thanks to the crimson coating them.

The alpha shuddered as he gazed down at the captain, hand cupping his jaw.  The realization that Levi was aroused hit him with a force great enough that he stumbled where he stood.  Small fingers gripped at his forearms, bit into flesh beneath his shirt, and Eren dropped his head to press their foreheads together.

“You’re beautiful like this,” Eren whispered, voice shaky.  He had commented previously about how stunningly devastating Levi looked in battle, and this was no different to him.  If anything, it was better.  More exciting.  “Stunning omega,” he rumbled, stepping into the smaller man’s space.  “Strong omega.”

Levi blinked slowly, his expression morphing from his typical mask to one of great pride.  The corner of his mouth slowly moved upwards until he revealed a pointed canine, slightly rose hued, in a haughty smirk.

_Alpha thinks we are strong!_

**_We have always been strong.  We’re stronger now._ **

“Beautiful, huh?”

Eren only nodded, mouth suddenly gone dry.

“That’s some fucked up shit, Jaeger,” the raven said through his grin before pulling the shifter down for a kiss.

Eren moaned into his mouth, tongue immediately slipping between Levi’s lips.  He tasted Erwin’s blood and it excited him, probably more than it should have.  His fingers twitched when he rested his hands on Levi’s hips, surprised to find fabric adorning his body.  He’d left the man wearing nothing, of that he was sure.

“Why are you wearing…”

“I wasn’t going to answer the door naked,” Levi responded with a half shrug, lips finding their way to a prominent collarbone.  “He wouldn’t fuck off.  I was trying to get rid of him before you came back.”

The alpha hummed softly, tipping his hips forward to grind against Levi’s belly.  The captain encouraged the action, fingers slipping into belt loops to pull Eren so close there was no space left between them.

“Where’s Hanji?” came the sudden inquiry, stormy eyes darting to the door behind them.

“She’s not coming.  Wasn’t necessary,” Eren sighed, shivering beneath the drag of Levi’s fingertips.  “There’s nothing happening in there,” he continued, backs of his knuckles pressing to Levi’s belly.  “Nothing can happen…she says that you can’t…”

“Good.”

“Yeah,” the brunette huffed, nuzzling his cheek against the raven’s.

“You want me,” Levi stated, tongue tracing a path up the front of Eren’s throat and over a scent gland.

“I want you to fuck me,” the brunette amended, head tipping to the side to allow better access to a soft tongue.

“Do you now?” Levi raised an obsidian eyebrow.  He wanted to say he was surprised, but he wasn’t really.  Not with Eren.

“I love feeling you inside me.  I love the way you look over me.  I haven’t felt it nearly enough.”

_Take!_

**_Take!_ **

Even with his inner voices in sudden agreement, Levi felt a wave of trepidation hit him.  The fire in his eyes flickered the slightest bit, and Eren noticed the shift in him.

“I want you to.  I need you to,” he spoke against thin lips, stealing kisses.  “Bond me.  Show me I’m yours.”

 _That_ surprised Levi.  Eren wanted to be bonded first.  Eren, who had waited, and longed, and pined for literal years was willing to give up part of his freedom first.  Levi found himself just staring, dumbfounded, gaze boring into grassy green.  Eren’s irises were so bright they glowed, just as they had at the outpost, shining with a combination of unfettered pride and covetousness. 

The raven felt himself break, kissing Eren with a hunger he’d not felt before.  It was greater than when they had been holed up in that outpost.  All consuming.  He was inside and outside of his body at the same time, registering the slide of Eren’s tongue against his own, the tingle from tan fingers pulling at his hair, hot breath in his nose.  He wanted more.

“Are you ok doing this here?” Eren asked, near breathless.

“It’s fine…I don’t…I don’t need…” Levi growled, frustrated.  He knew what Eren was asking and he knew why.  He didn’t _want_ to need that stupid fucking nest.  But the pull of it was still there.  It bothered him not to be in it.  He had thought that being in the shifter’s room, surrounded by his scent, would be enough to stifle the urge. But if anything, it had been made worse.

“Hold on.  I can help,” Eren murmured, carefully disentangling himself so he could walk over to his closet door.  He opened it before Levi could say anything, a pile of scarves, blankets, and other such items toppling out.

“Holy shit,” Levi declared.  “How much was in there?”

The alpha blushed brightly, awkwardly rubbing at his upper arm while he shrugged.

“I dunno.  I didn’t know how long it would take you to let me in…or if you would at all.  But it’s…it’s all for you.”

“For me?”

“Y-yeah.  I couldn’t leave the room, so Mikasa and Armin and Jean had to bring things to me. But I sorted through it all.  I only kept stuff I thought you would like.”

Levi pressed a hand over his chest, balling it into a fist as he stared at the material offered to him.  None of it was expensive, but all of it was valuable.  It was valuable because they were things that Eren had chosen specifically for him.  Things that he was meant to enjoy and find comfort in. 

The amount of thought and care that the alpha had put into his selection was evident as the raven sifted through the collection.  He was sure his heart literally skipped a beat, well aware of Eren watching him as he made careful selections.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, embarrassed.  “You didn’t have to do this.  You could have…”

“But I did have to,” Eren interrupted.  “I couldn’t leave you.  I…belong to you.  I don’t know how not to.”

The captain looked around himself, kneeling comfortably on cotton, fur, some small scraps of silk, and then looked back to Eren once more.  He was absolutely incredible, and Levi was well aware that he didn’t deserve someone like him.  But he refused to send him away ever again.

“Come here.”

Eren approached in silence, gently dropping to his knees before the smaller man.  His eyes were still luminescent, casting a faint green glow over Levi’s face.  Crimson stained fingers slid up over his jaw, traced his cheekbones, drew back down again to rest just behind his ear.  They remained that way for a short while, Levi touching Eren’s face, his shoulders, his arms, unceasing, and Eren just let him, leaning into every touch he could.

When their mouths finally connected, it was unknown who moved first. It was nothing short of sublime.  Eren went from upright to being laid out on his back before he could process what had happened.  He found he didn’t really care when the view involved Levi looking down at him like he was the most delicious thing he’d ever seen in his life.  Couldn’t find it in himself to care that his inner alpha was fucking pissed to be pinned beneath another in such a fashion.

He definitely didn’t care when Levi pressed their hips flush together and rolled his lower body, a deep moan escaping him as he arched up beneath the raven.

“Levi…Levi, I….”

The captain pressed a thin finger against kiss swollen lips, effectively silencing the shifter.  He just watched the alpha beneath him for a long moment before he finally spoke, tone gentle, earnest, and serious all at the same time.

“I belong to you, too. Je suis à toi, Eren.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Je suis à toi, Eren - I'm yours, Eren


	56. Bond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the thing y'all have wanted for 30+ chapters! 
> 
> ...Mostly

Levi wasn’t sure what happened between his confession and the removal of Eren’s clothing.  All he knew was that he was speaking in a messy mix of French and English, litanies of praise tumbling from his lips uninhibited.

“Je t'adore.  You’re perfect for me. Ne me quittes jamais.  I’ll love you forever.  Toujours et à jamais.”

Eren was startlingly quiet, the brunette finding it impossible to do much more than gasp and writhe beneath his lover.  Goosebumps rose wherever Levi touched, he found himself blushing hotter with every nip to his skin, Levi’s teasing his teeth against his scent glands causing him to jerk and whimper.

“Oil,” Levi panted, displeased that they’d both forgotten the necessity of it.  “Where?”

It took a moment for coherency to return to Eren, the shifter wildly gesturing to a drawer in his dresser before the words came to him.  Levi zipped away from him to fetch the bottle from where Eren had indicated, returning in a rush and being just mindful enough not to drop and break the jar.

And yet again he found himself watching the younger male, sprawled out in the myriad of items he’d procured, simply admiring him.  It struck him once more that Eren truly wasn’t a kid anymore.  He was broad, and strong, well developed in both body and mind.  A far cry from the brat Levi had met four years ago.

“Levi,” Eren whined, “pay attention to me.”

Well, maybe not as far a cry as the raven had thought.

“Greedy brat,” the captain muttered, though there was a hint of a smile on his lips.

“Impossible not to be when you’re involved,” the alpha shot back.

He was promptly silenced when an oil slicked finger found its way between his cheeks and slid inside.  The feeling of a finger inside him wasn’t at all foreign, but it being _Levi’s_ finger was, and the brunette couldn’t help but squirm as the raven pressed his way deeper.  Levi gave no instruction, he only peppered kisses across the already contracting muscles of Eren’s abdomen before taking his length in his mouth.

“Ha! Aaahaaa!” Eren cried out.  He just barely managed to stop himself from taking hold of Levi’s hair, slamming his hands down to grip onto a stray scarf and a patch of leather.  “Please, please, please, please…”

Molten mercury flicked upwards to watch Eren’s expression as Levi dragged his tongue up the entirety of the alpha’s length before sucking him back down again.  Eren’s resultant arch was absolutely glorious, and he was rewarded with a second finger sinking in alongside the first.

“Levi, _please_!”

“Begging already?” the captain asked with a dark chuckle.  “I feel like it’s too soon for that.”

That was a lie.  Levi was harder than fucking granite and had discreetly positioned a soft fur beneath his groin to grind against.  He wanted to be inside the shifter as badly as the shifter wanted him to be there, but it was too soon.  He already knew how he wanted to take the younger man, and if he was gentle now he could afford to be rough later.

His head dipped back downwards, pressing kisses to Eren’s thighs and along the crease of his groin, his free hand stroking his spit drenched dick in torturously slow movements.  Everything slowed down, even Eren’s breathing, though he couldn’t stop the quivering of his thighs or the curling of his toes.

“Shhhh, calm down.”

“I’m trying.  I’m trying, I’m trying,” Eren ground out.  His voice shook along with his hands that had finally found their way into inky strands.  He was going to cry.  He’d known beforehand that it would happen, but he’d hoped he’d be able to hold it off longer.

“Let me make you feel good, chéri,” Levi rumbled before sucking a bruise onto a golden hip.

Eren could only whimper, legs spreading wider when Levi’s fingers pushed deep and curled inside him.  He knew what the smaller male was searching for, pulling one leg up towards his chest to offer Levi more room.  The action was the right one, the captain finding his target with relative ease.  He tapped Eren’s prostate right as he swallowed him down again, and the result was…not quite unexpected, but it did catch Levi off guard.

The alpha bowed beneath him, green eyes glazed over and wide, glowing so brightly they verged on white hot.  His mouth hung open, but no sound was produced beyond his shuddered breaths, body contorting as he spilled himself into Levi’s mouth.  The raven caught what he could, startled enough that he had to let some dribble down his chin and splash against his jaw.

“I’m…I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to…” Eren started, clearly mortified.

“Stop,” Levi spoke, soothing.  “Calm.  Down.”

Eren only swallowed, unsure where to look, too ashamed to meet Levi’s gaze.

“Can you handle it if I keep going?” the captain queried with a crook of his fingers.

The brunette’s fervent nod was enough to convince his partner, and he returned to his previous ministrations, sucking down Eren’s softening cock while his fingers continued to thrust in and out of his slowly stretching entrance.

“Jesus fuck!”

Levi paid the exclamation no mind, tongue swirling delicately around the hypersensitive head of Eren’s length.  The alpha yelped quite predictably but made no attempt to shove him away.  His hips twitched backwards and then pressed carefully forwards, testing the sensation.

“Shit, shit, shit…”

Levi swallowed around him.

“Nnnng!” Eren grunted and curled himself into an awkward ball momentarily before flopping back against the mountain of clothing.

Levi pulled off the shifter’s slowly stiffening length to tell him, “Respire. Détendre-toi.  Breathe, Eren.”

“It hurts,” he whined.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“Fuck, please no!  It's good!”

Eren was a pain slut.

What a fucking shock.

“Filthy,” Levi smiled, dragging his tongue down the younger’s dick and closing his lips around his balls to suck gently.

“Y-yeah.  But you l-like it.”

The raven huffed a laugh, but didn’t deny the accusation.  He simply continued mouthing at sensitive skin, head bobbing along the brunette’s returned erection, a third finger finally being added to the first two.

“Le-e-e-viiiii,” he groaned.

“Almost.  Patience, mon beau.”

“But I’m so close.”

“Already?” the raven teased, lightly stroking his fingers across the alpha’s already swollen prostate.  He liked the way Eren’s whole body jumped when he was stimulated like that.

“Unngh!”

“Alright,” the raven acquiesced, though he allowed himself to indulge in some kitten licks at the tip of Eren’s cock while he withdrew his fingers.

The alpha mewled at him, displeased with the loss, though he knew he’d be filled again soon enough.  It still didn’t stop him from grabbing at Levi, desperate for more.  He felt so empty.  Eren couldn’t help but wonder as he watched Levi coat his own cock in oil, if he would ever pass the point where he quaked every time Levi touched him this way.  He wasn’t afraid, he wasn’t even nervous, but the excitement still overtook him and he wasn’t sure how to handle it.

“Hé, ça va. Respire.  It’s alright, brat.  You’re fine.”

The brunette nodded, though he wasn’t sure what he was acknowledging exactly.  His thoughts had been scattered to the winds and he was only coherent enough to register Levi’s length nudging at him.  A tan leg rose once again to give his counterpart space, and then Levi was sinking into him, inch by hot inch.  It burned in the most delicious way and Eren’s legs instinctively wrapped around Levi’s waist to pull him closer.

“Mine,” Eren rasped.  “Mine.”

“Yeah, kid.  Yours.”

The raven rolled his hips forward, pulled back, pushed again, bit his lip when Eren’s body undulated beneath him to meet his thrusts.  The way he was able to use himself was absolutely sinful, and Levi was positive he’d never get enough of it.  Eren’s use of his body wasn’t quite graceful, but it wasn’t clumsy either.  Levi supposed that the way the brunette expressed himself during sex wasn’t much different from how he did so in his daily life.  He was purposeful, passionate, instinctual, and raw.

The captain was doing his damnedest not to focus on the tight heat constricting around him.  He was going to lose it if he paid too much attention to how Eren’s ass seemed to be sucking him in, demanding to be filled further, deeper.  He opted to close his eyes and press his forehead to Eren’s chest, unfazed by the film of sweat that had formed there.  He never stopped moving, too enthralled by the alpha’s moans to even dream of it.

“More,” Eren exhaled.  “I need more.  Please.”

Levi rolled them over wordlessly, taking a chance and opening his eyes to see Eren’s wondrous gaze focused on him.

“I haven’t gotten to see you this way,” he whispered upwards.  “Ride me.”

“Levi,” Eren sighed again, grinding downwards into the raven’s lap. 

Eren’s initial pace was a slow rock, testing the waters, chocolate brows furrowed in a frown of concentration.  Soon enough he was raising himself in little increments, pushing back down with slight force to hit that electric button in side himself.  It took him a few tries, but once he’d found it, the shifter went for broke.  With Levi’s hands on his hips and his fingers digging into pale forearms Eren bounced atop the captain, mouth agape and throat exposed.

Levi thought he looked absolutely breathtaking.  His scent glands were swollen and pulsing, throat coated in oil, and the scent of violet and fresh grass permeated the air.  The raven would have found it suffocating at any other time, but now?  Now it was comforting.  It was settling.  It felt like he had finally found his rightful place tangled up in Eren.

“Ah, ah, ah!” Eren yipped with each bounce.  His speed had increased and he was rapidly approaching his second orgasm.  “Levi!  I…I’m gonna…!”

“That’s fine, kid!  It’s fine, just…”

The captain grunted as he pushed himself up on his elbows, shoving his pelvis upwards faster, thrusts rough as he neared his own end.  One hand reached upwards to twist in chaotic hair and pull the brunette closer, claiming his mouth in a heated, desperate kiss.

“Do it!  Do it, do, it, do it!” the alpha chanted between pants, arms wrapped around the raven’s shoulders.

Levi didn’t have to ask what he wanted.  He knew.  Eren tipped his head up just enough for the captain to reach his scent gland, shuddered violently when his teeth grazed over it, and then…

Levi bit down with great enough force that he heard the cartilage crunch beneath his teeth.  He tasted the slight bitterness of the oil from the gland and the metallic tang of Eren’s blood, and he swore that it was more exquisite than any wine that had ever graced his palate.   Full bodied, earthy, coppery, familiar...he loved it all.

The younger male emitted an ungodly wail, though it was clear that the sound was not one of pain.  He tensed against Levi’s smaller frame, knees squeezing Levi’s hips, his hand flying between their bodies to stroke himself erratically.  He came in one long stream across both their stomachs while Levi busied himself by sinking his teeth into the alpha’s other scent gland, reveling in the blossoming pain that rose over his back when Eren scratched at him.

The raven flipped them over once more, throwing a thick leg over his shoulder to pound into the shifter, pulling his hips forward as he shoved himself inside.  He came with a sharp yelp of his own, only moderately surprised when he felt the tug of a knot tying them together.  He shuddered through the first stage of his release, hips continuing to grind as he pulsed and twitched inside Eren’s body. 

He came back to himself when gentle fingertips brushed against his unmarred scent glands, a question in still glowing emerald eyes.

“Not yet.”

Eren’s face crumpled, fear evident in his expression.

“It’s ok,” Levi assured. kissing one of his palms before tangling their fingers together.  “I want you to.  But I want you inside me when you do it.  Just like this.”

He pressed more kisses to Eren’s hand, along his forearm, bending down to kiss everywhere he could reach before falling onto his side, pulling Eren along with him.  With one leg thrown over a sweaty thigh the raven continued to rock into him, savoring the small gasps and whimpers he was still able to coax from the shifter.

It took some time, but when Eren finally opened his eyes, not having even realized he’d closed them, the luminescent glow had gone, leaving behind the glassy sheen of tears he was doing his damnedest not to shed.

But Levi, damn, sweet, understanding, forgiving Levi, rested his hand on a terribly flushed cheek, thumb sweeping over pink lips, and said, “Pleure.  Cry, Eren.”

Eren cried.

Levi cried with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Je t'adore - I adore you  
> Ne me quittes jamais - Never leave me  
> Toujours et à jamais - Forever and always  
> Cheri - Sweetheart  
> Respire. Détends-toi - Breathe. Relax,  
> Patience, mon beau - Patience, my lovely  
> Hé, ça va. Respire - Hey, it's ok. Breathe.  
> Pleure - Cry


	57. Move

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nope, not the second half of bonding. Sorry! We're looking at a two chapter break here so the boys can replenish themselves :) Don't worry, it's not going to be like the wait y'all had for the first bonding, I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye, and forever eat red ants.

“FUCK!  RIGHT THERE!”

Levi had Eren by the hips, the brunette’s nails biting into the wood of his headboard as the raven plowed into him from behind.  His head hung limply between his shoulders, back arched downwards in a scintillating curve.  He intermittently felt Levi’s breath puff against his back when his own head would droop downwards.  Eren had discovered that the captain would do such when he stroked against a particularly pleasurable spot.  He made sure to angle himself just so to hear that shuddering gasp.

Levi wasn’t exactly sure how many times this made.  Four?  Five?  He was exhausted and felt weak and hungry, but the desire to fuck overrode any thoughts of rest.  All that mattered to him in the moment was Eren clenching around him.  The taste of salt on his tongue from tan, sweaty skin.  The way Eren’s bangs were plastered to his forehead, wet with perspiration.

“Eren…Eren…”

The shifter rocked backwards, a hand leaving the headboard to wrap around one of Levi’s wrists.  He knew he didn’t need to ask Levi for what he wanted.  He’d provide it without question.  A brief hesitation in the movements of the raven’s hips followed by the feeling of his body draping over Eren’s back, and he was given what he wanted.  With a few more sharp, quick thrusts Levi was pulsing inside the brunette, knot tying them together a final time.

Eren’s arms collapsed and he fell face first into the pillow, Levi landing in a heap on top of him.  They were a sticky mess of blood, come, sweat, and spit, and neither one could find it in themselves to give a shit about their current state.  Bone deep satisfaction radiated through both of them, bodies twitching in a combination of aftershocks and exhaustion.

“Did you come?” Levi mumbled drunkenly

“I…uh…yes?” Eren replied, voice muffled by the pillow.  “I’m not sure.”

“How can you not be sure?” the raven groaned, flexing his hips forward.

“I think you fucked all the jizz out of me.”

The captain laughed, pulling Eren along as he fell onto his side, leg customarily thrown over the brunette’s hip.

“Dry orgasm.”

“Hmmm?”

“When you come without producing anything.  It’s called a dry orgasm.”

“Shit.  You really did fuck it all out of me.”

“I suppose that is technically true,” came the amused huff. “How are you feeling?” was the follow up question, careful fingers tracing the numerous bloody bite marks that canvassed Eren’s body.

“’M ok.  Feel real good,” the alpha slurred.

“I didn’t hurt you too much?”

During their second coupling Levi had begun to place mating marks all along the shifter’s body.  He hadn’t had the presence of mind to do so the first go around, too focused on the end game of bonding.  They had bloomed in hot crimson over Eren’s flesh, the two of them admiring his handiwork.  During the third time, however, a trigger switched in Eren’s brain while Levi bowed over him, staring into his eyes. Their fucking had turned into a full blown fight.  One of teeth and nails, snarling and spitting, jockeying for dominance.

It had only lasted a few seconds, the alpha immediately apologetic.  He’d rolled onto his back and bared his already marked throat in submission.  Levi had accepted the apology without thought, but the decision was made then that Levi would spend the remainder of their matings behind Eren instead.  The brunette had wanted to protest, but knew the older male was in the right.

“It’s funny you ask me that,” Eren sighed, though he wasn’t annoyed.  “You know I heal.”

“Just because I know you heal doesn’t mean I don’t think you hurt, idiot,” the raven responded, voice laced with affection.

“I’m alright, Levi.  I promise,” the shifter purred, craning his head back for a gentle kiss.  “How do you feel?”

“Fuckin’ starving.”

It was Eren’s turn to laugh, hand lightly patting where Levi’s own palm lay pressed flat against his stomach.

“I can go get us some food in a bit.”

“Can you even walk?”

“Can you?” the brunette returned cheekily.

“You’re a little shit,” Levi snorted, flicking Eren’s reddened ear.

Eren only hummed, silence falling between them briefly before the shifter piped up again.

“Levi?”

“What, kid?” he mumbled against a sweaty nape, eyes closed.

“Are you really ok?”

The raven smiled at that, tugging Eren closer, uncaring of the sticky film between them.

“Yeah, brat.  I am.”

* * *

The bed-mates fell into a contented doze, finally rousing when their stomachs growled in tandem, demanding to be filled with nourishment.  Levi’s knot had subsided sometime while they’d been asleep and Eren had rolled away to unceremoniously sprawl on his back, one of his arms thrown over Levi’s chest.  Drool was dripping out of the corner of his mouth, the brunette inhaling with a slurp to rid himself of the errant string, Levi clicking his tongue and frowning at the display.

“Attractive.”

Eren only yawned, unaffected by Levi’s words, a lazy smile gracing his face after he wiped off his mouth with his thumb.

“I’ll go clean up and get us some food.”

“I’m going, too.”

The alpha hesitated, hairs standing up on his nape.  He was suddenly on alert and he didn’t understand why.  He also couldn’t stop the words that tumbled out of him.

“Are you sure?”

“What do you mean “Are you sure?” Of course I’m sure.  I’m not a child, Eren.”

Eren winced slightly, but nodded.  He had well learned that Levi’s shift in dynamic did not equate to a shift in his personality or his ability to take care of himself.  He needed to learn to temper his instincts and allow the raven to continue on as he always had.

It wasn’t going to be easy.

* * *

Clean up went fairly quickly, both men opting for a washcloth dipped in slightly soapy water.  The goal had only been to remove the most obvious stains from their skin.  Eren had begrudgingly suggested a bath after limping into the bathroom, but Levi shot down the idea without hesitation.

“I didn’t put in all that work marking you up just so you could wash it off.”

Eren beamed with pride.

Wipe down completed, they both worked on dressing themselves, Levi flinching intermittently as he pulled on his pants and again while he buttoned his shirt.  Though time had bled together for the two of them, neither one sure of the hour or the day, Levi knew well enough that his heat was progressing.  His skin was more easily irritated than it was even a few hours ago, and while his thighs weren’t yet sticky with it, he felt slick building between his cheeks.

He really hated that part.

“They’re all going to be watching us,” Eren spoke suddenly, tone somber.

“Yes.”

“Is that ok?”

_Will you be ok?_

“Whatever happens, let it.  Don’t let yourself be goaded.  I know you can control your temper.”

_Trust me._

“…Alright.”

“None of this has been easy, Eren.  And it won’t get easier just because we want it to,” Levi spoke honestly, eyes focused on the buttons of his cuffs.  “You need to be able to trust that I can do what needs to be done.  And I need to be able to trust that you’ll let me.”

“Yes, sir.”

The use of his rank didn’t upset the raven at all.  Rather, he smiled.  As difficult as he had just noted things to be, and as difficult as he had said they would continue to be, it was a comfort to realize how effortlessly the two of them could fall back into the positions of the hierarchy.  It wasn't strange or unwelcome.  It wasn’t sarcastic or laden with bitterness.  It just…was.  An inherent part of their relationship that had always existed and always would exist in various ways.

“If you need me, you promise you’ll tell me, right?  I don’t…I don’t expect you to need me all the time.  I truly don’t.  I just…don’t know how to do this yet.”

The captain crossed the room to stand before the alpha, hands raising to cup his cheeks and pull him down for a soft kiss, the pressure barely there.

“I don’t know how, either.  We’ll figure it out.”

_You’ll know when I need you._

Eren nodded solemnly, bangs falling in his eyes, a smile lighting up his face when pale fingers pushed them back to better see his expression.

“Ridiculous brat,” the raven said, corner of his mouth tipped upwards.  “Come on, I’m starving.

“Yes, sir,” Eren rumbled, eagerly following his captain into the hallway.

He’d follow him anywhere.


	58. Humanity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An interaction, an altercation, an understanding.

Levi paused in the hallway while Eren locked the door, his nose scrunching up as he took in the various scents of the corridor.  How long had he locked himself away that the castle now smelled unfamiliar and unwelcoming to him?  The scents of others invaded his nose and he found himself snorting several times, moving slightly closer to Eren in an attempt to rid his sinuses of the offending odors.  The alpha thankfully said nothing, only placing a steadying hand on the small of Levi’s back when he teetered briefly as he began walking.

“I’m alright, Eren.”

“Yes, sir.”

They walked to the mess together in silence, Eren dutifully trailing two steps behind the captain, his footfalls sure, posture as relaxed as he could manage.  It wasn’t possible for him to let down his guard entirely, but the need to hover had abated somewhat.  The alpha supposed it was because the already partially formed bond had been strengthened through Levi’s bonding mark.  It was hard for Eren not to constantly touch it, concerned that it would fade away, healing over like other wounds.  Levi quickly caught on and assured him every time he reached to touch the injury that it was still there, Eren still belonged to him.

Warmth pooled in the shifter’s chest, a smile brightening his features when he felt the tug of their connection running between them.  It was a bit soft, if one could describe such a thing that way.  Intangible but decidedly present, foreign but not unwelcome.  Another thread of proof that the pair were closer to becoming two halves of a whole rather than being completely separate entities.  And it wasn’t so much Levi’s consciousness that had taken up residence within Eren, but rather the entirety of his presence. 

As they rounded the final corner that lead to the mess Levi slowed slightly.  Eren took note, adjusting his pace, perking up when the raven’s low timbre reached him.

“Head up, eyes forward.  Remember what I said.  Don’t worry about them.”

“Yes, captain.”

* * *

Thankfully it was relatively quiet in the dining hall.  The main rush seemed to be over, soldiers either filing out to head to their quarters or quietly indulging in a cup of coffee and light banter with their comrades.  Of course, that didn’t stop anybody from looking as they entered, a heavy silence falling over those present.

“Walk, Eren,” Levi commanded, sensing the shifter’s hesitation.

The alpha obeyed, eyes boring into the back of Levi’s head to maintain focus.  He had just enough presence of mind to notice his friends sitting in their usual spot.  It struck him how much he missed spending time with them and he wondered if they’d welcome him back to the table with Levi.  He also wondered if Levi would even want to join them.  Being mated certainly didn’t mean they had to spend all their time together, after all.

Eren continued onwards, a small smile on his face at the thought of having a meal with his friends.  It would be the first in weeks, and he felt settled enough that he figured he could handle the interaction.  He had just picked up his tray, Levi already having his own plate loaded with food, when the first needling remark came.

“An alpha following an omega?  Is that how things run around here?”

Levi ignored the remark, scent remaining neutral.  Eren did his best to follow suit, though there was a barely detectable odor of burning grass present around him.

“It’s pathetic they let him keep his position.  Who’d he have to fuck for that?”

“Jaeger, apparently.”

“Don’t do it,” Levi spoke under his breath.  Eren had gone rigid, a small growl rolling in his throat.

“But they…”

“Don’t matter, Eren.”

The alpha pressed his lips together but complied with Levi’s request.

“I heard that Captain Levi got into it with Commander Smith!  He’s gonna have scars!”

“There’s no way that happened!  Come on!  That little omega beating the Commander in a fight?”

“I dunno, man.  And I thought the captain was an alpha, too?”

“Pffft, doubt it.  I heard he’s just been masking this whole time.”

“That’s fucked up!”

“Totally.”

Neither male responded.  Not until a bratty upstart opened his mouth, purposely raising his voice to be heard.

“How much you wanna bet he’d choose that titan scum over humanity if he had to pick?”

“That’s not a fair bet!  Who wouldn’t choose the person that fucks them?”

“Is that what you think, you snot nosed little shit?”

Viridian eyes went wide, Eren pressing a hand to his throat, startled.  The words hadn’t come from him.  It was Levi who had spoken.  Levi, who carefully laid down his tray and walked over to the offending cadet, his apathetic mask in place.  Levi, who had to look _up_ at the offending jizz stain that had dared to question his ability to do his job.

Murky green eyes met the flashing grey of the captain’s irises.  They were nothing like Eren’s.  They weren’t vibrant and full of life.  They were cloudy and pale, lacking the fire the raven had become so accustomed to.  They disgusted him.

“That “titan scum” has saved more lives than you ever have or will.  I’d wager the first time you see an actual titan that you’ll piss yourself and pass out.  It’s fairly commonplace.  The rate of survival when that occurs is quite low.”

“H-He’s…he’s not worth shit!” the boy stammered, clearly questioning his decision to speak up in the first place.

“You don’t think so?” Levi rumbled, leaning towards the boy to box him in against his table.  “I feel that you’d be singing a different tune if you were about to be dismembered by a group of those beasts, no?  You’d either cry for your mama…or for Eren.  Would you like to guess who would be more likely to save your worthless, miserable little ass?”

“I’d never call for that pile of dog vomit!”

The raven quirked an eyebrow then, an arm extending behind himself to beckon the shifter closer.  He responded without pause because he was Eren, and Eren was obedient when it came to Levi.

“Tell me, Eren, would you save this deplorable little piss ant if you had the means to?”

“I would, sir.”

“And why would you do so?”

“It’s my duty to protect my brothers and sisters, sir,” the brunette responded earnestly, even as his jaw clenched.

“I’d rather die than be saved by an enemy of humanity!”

“You’re a foolish child,” the captain sneered.  “A wet nosed, baby-handed pile of cow excrement who doesn’t know his eyeball from his asshole.  You would do well to mind your superiors.”

“With all due, respect, Captain,” the boy mocked, “you’re no superior of mine.”

Eren bared his teeth in response, incensed beyond words.  He moved forward with the intention of showing the spoiled little fuckweasel in front of him what true pain was, but all too quickly he found himself on his back with the wind knocked out of him, Levi’s boot pressed to his throat.  He clawed at the foot that held him down, but Levi only pushed harder.

The boy yelped as Eren rushed him, his scent turning sour with fear.  He attempted to escape but Levi had already seized him by his shirt collar, holding him firmly in one hand while keeping Eren beneath his sole.

“I should let him have you, you ungrateful little wretch.  I should let you experience the agony I know he’s capable of bestowing upon you.  But Eren doesn’t deserve to have his record tarnished for spilling blood from your worthless body.”

And Levi threw the boy to the floor, tossing him aside like so much garbage, reaching for a napkin to wipe off his hands.

“Tch.  Disgusting.”

“See!” the boy called out to those watching, shakily pulling himself to his feet.  All eyes were on them now.  “See how he chooses a titan over humanity!  Is this the kind of person we’re supposed to follow?!”

“In order for the Captain to choose a titan over humanity,” came an even voice, “you would have had to display some humanity to begin with.”

Mikasa.

“Jean!”

“Eh?”

“Escort our little friend to a Squad Leader Hanji.  She can decide what to do with him.  He’s no brother of ours.”

Jean emitted a long suffering sigh but stood to do as he had been told.  He grabbed the boy by the back of his shirt and shoved him forward, grumbling the whole time.

“I just wanted to relax and have a fucking cup of coffee.  You’ve already ruined my night, don’t give me any trouble.”

“I can’t believe you’d side with those…”

“If you say another fucking word I will lay you out, you miserable string bean!” Jean snapped, cuffing the back of the boy’s head.  “Now fucking march!”

As Jean lead the instigator from the room Levi removed his boot from Eren’s throat, allowing the shifter to right himself in his own time.  He locked eyes with Mikasa while he waited, expecting to see fury burning behind mirrored eyes.  He was only met with a nod of affirmation.

He nodded back.

 _Thank you_.


	59. Messy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wheeeeeee! Familial interaction!

It took Eren a few moments to right himself, but when he had, he found that Levi was standing right next to him.  The two of them faced opposite directions, almost shoulder to shoulder, close enough that Eren heard the captain’s order when it was given.

“Get your food, go sit down.  Nothing.  More.  Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir,” Eren swallowed harshly.  He was simultaneously irked and fearful.  Levi was clearly upset with him, but he wasn’t sure how deep his anger ran, and he wasn’t keen on testing it.

Once Eren had procured his meal, Levi followed suit, gaze focused ahead, seemingly unconcerned.  His jaw, however, clenched intermittently and he smelled like a burning pine bough.  Cadets and veteran soldiers alike gave the raven a wide berth as he picked up his own meal tray and moved through them to take a seat next to Armin and across from Eren.

“Ah! H-hello, Captain, sir!  It’s “good to see you!”

“At ease, Arlert.  I just want to eat.”

“Yes, sir!” the blonde replied, clearly nervous.

“Armin.”

“Yes?” he squeaked, turning to face his caller.  It was just Eren.

“Calm down, he’s not going to eat you.”

“Mmm, no more likely to than I was before.”

Armin bit his lower lip, head bowed as he chanced an inquiry.

“How have you been feeling, Captain?”

“Tired and sore.  Same as the rest of you,” he responded easily.

“The reasons are entirely different,” Mikasa spoke flippantly, taking a seat next to her brother.  “You both reek.”

“Mikasa…” Eren warned, brow creasing as he frowned.

“I didn’t single anybody out.  I said you _both_  reek.  You smell like a goddamn house fire and he smells like he set ablaze Christmas itself.”

A loud snort came from Levi’s general vicinity, but his expression was as bored as ever, his mouth methodically working on a piece of overcooked chicken.  Nobody would ever believe he had made such a sound.

No one but Eren, anyway.  Eren, who had already devoured everything on his tray in a fit of ravenous hunger.  They'd been sitting there three whole minutes.

"Jesus..." Armin exhaled, eyes staring at the crumbs on his friend's tray.

“I need to reload.  I’m sure they’re scraping the bottom of the pots, but I’m starving.  Do you want anything more, sir?”

_Can alpha help omega?_

“No, thank you, Eren.”

The brunette quickly excused himself to see what scraps he could scrounge up from the end of dinner service leaving Levi with Mikasa and Armin.  He turned his head just enough to catch the chrome gaze of Eren’s sister, setting down his fork to angle himself towards her.

“Say what you want to say.”

“I don’t think that’s such a…”

Levi held up his hand to Armin’s protest, eyes on the ravenette, awaiting her wrath.

“It was like the trial.”

“Excuse me?”

“What you did to Eren a few minutes ago.  I didn’t like it, and it made me angry at first, but…it was like the trial.  You didn’t do what you did to save that shitball cadet.  You did it to keep Eren safe.  You…you do a lot of things to keep Eren safe.”

“I do.  I try.”

“Please keep doing it.”

Levi wasn’t allowed time to answer.  Mikasa grabbed her coffee mug and departed before he had the chance.

“It’s weird when she’s like that,” the raven said after a beat of silence.

“She’s making an effort at accepting Eren’s choice,” Armin said, his gaze following Mikasa to where she stood with Eren, the young woman reaching up to ruffle his hair.

“I don’t expect her to like me.”

“That’s good, because she’s never going to.”

The captain chortled, the sound interrupted by a small gasp.  A stomach cramp seized his gut and he couldn’t keep from hunching over.

“You’re in again, aren’t you?” the blonde asked, fully expecting Levi to understand what he was asking.

“Is that really any of your business?” Levi responded evenly.

“No, sir.  But I can smell you, and there are others watching you.  And it’s not just because they haven’t seen you in over a week.”

“How many?”

“Five or so.  I don’t think any are stupid enough to try anything, especially after what happened earlier, but I don’t think Eren…”

“I understand what you’re saying,” the raven interjected, running his tongue over a sharp canine.  “I won’t keep him here longer than necessary.”

“If I may ask, sir, why did you come to the mess?  I know Eren would have brought you anything you wanted.”

“Mmm, that’s true,” came the thoughtful hum.  “I certainly wasn’t missing any company, but Eren is a far more social creature than I am.  Even with all the time he’s spent with me, I know that in the long run he needs to be able to spend time with others.  I need him to know that he’s still welcome to do that.”

“And?” Armin prodded.

“And,” the raven began, eyes meeting Armin’s gaze, “that he doesn’t need to be around to protect me every second.  I am still more than capable of caring for myself.”

The younger soldier took in a sharp breath when Levi’s contemplative stare fell on him.  The captain frowned in response, confused.

“You look constipated when you make that face.  What’s the problem?”

“Your eyes are glowing, sir,” Amin whispered, seemingly awed.

_Shit._

The moment the beta made the observation Levi felt a spasm rip through his lower back.  He subtly bowed his head and grit his teeth, but he couldn’t stop the tremor that shook his left hand.

“Captain?”

“I’m…fine…” Levi wheezed.

He wasn’t fine.  He definitely wasn’t fine.

* * *

“When did it happen?” Mikasa queried, her fingertips hovering over one of Eren’s scent glands.  The wound was still red and raw.

“Yesterday?  Not very long ago.  We…neither of us were able to track the time,” the brunette replied softly.  “Are you angry?”

“Are you happy?” she returned, eyes soft as she rested a hand on his cheek.

“Happier than I’ve been in a long time,” the alpha admitted, pressing his hand against hers.

“Then I’m not angry.”

“I know you hate him, but…”

“I don’t hate him,” Mikasa said hastily.  “I just…had a hard time trusting him with you.”

“Had?” Eren asked, voice hopeful, a matching smile quirking his lips.

“He…loves you.  And I love you.  So we at least have that in common, right?”

Eren pulled his sister into a tight hug, a soft “Thank you,” mumbled against her hair.  It was the most contact they’d had in weeks, and she couldn’t help but relax in his grip.

“If he ever tries to treat you like crap, I’ll kick his midget ass.”

“Heh, don’t I know it.”

* * *

Sky blue eyes studied the captain, wary and concerned.  The raven was short on time to get somewhere safe and out of the public eye, so Armin did the only thing he could.  He needled Mikasa.

“Hey, Mikasa!  Don’t hog Eren all to yourself!  I haven’t gotten to see him yet!”

“What are you doing?!” Levi hissed, attempting to straighten himself out again.

“Getting you out of here!  What happened earlier won’t have made a damn bit of difference if the others see you like this!” the soldier spoke as quietly as possible.

Mikasa returned to the table with Eren in tow, a slight scowl causing her forehead to wrinkle.

“I wasn’t hogging him, Armin.  I just…” the ravenette stopped mid objection, eyes flicking to her superior sitting at the table.  “You need to go, Eren.”

“What?  But we just got here.  I haven’t seen you in days and…”

“It’s horridly warm in here, don’t you think so, Eren?” the blonde spoke quickly, gaze moving back and forth between the shifter and the captain.  The captain who was beginning to sweat rather noticeably.  The shifter’s nostrils twitched, noting that Levi’s scent had suddenly become stronger.  It wasn’t yet overpowering, but he knew others were watching.  They needed to go before all hell broke loose.

“I’ve always run hot, but it does feel pretty gross in here.  I think I’m going to head back to my quarters.  There’s a pretty steady breeze that comes in through my window.  You guys wanna join me?”

“Sounds good,” Armin smiled, though it was a bit tight and forced.

“I may as well follow you brats back,” Levi sighed as he stood, trying to hide the brief quiver of his legs.  “I’m sure this idiot will get himself into trouble along the way somehow.”

“HEY!”

“He’s not wrong, Eren,” Mikasa smirked.

The shifter grumbled, a petulant frown making itself at home on his face while Armin returned their dinner trays.

“Come on you shits,” came the low drawl of the captain.  “I don’t have time to wait for you to get it together.”

The four of them left the mess together, Levi in front with Eren walking next to Mikasa and Armin trailing behind.

“Can you make it back?” Mikasa asked, noting the waver in Levi’s steps, even though he did his best to maintain his march.

“It’ll be close,” he conceded.

“We’ll follow you as far as the entry way to the officers' corridor.”

Levi snorted in disdain, though it was entirely over the situation.  He appreciated the care his soldiers were taking.

He just hoped he didn’t collapse in the middle of the hallway.


	60. Trigger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is named as such for a reason (for multiple reasons). There's discussion of a past event that could be considered as a type of sexual abuse. Don't know why my brain went there, but it felt necessary, no matter how much I tried to avoid it.
> 
> This is heavy, and dark, and probably seems unnecessarily cruel. 
> 
> But I wouldn't write it if I didn't think it was important. 
> 
> We're at the tail end of things here, and this is the last push that they need.

True to their word, Armin and Mikasa followed Eren through the castle to the officers quarters.  Nobody paid them much attention save, perhaps, for a few surprised comments about seeing the captain out and about.  Being that he was leading the trio he was typically seen with it didn’t seem to rouse any suspicions.

“You’ll have to stop here,” Eren said, rubbing his hand over his chest.  “I don’t think I can have you any nearer to the room right now.  I’m…I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, Eren.  We understand,” Armin offered a soft smile.

“Do what you need to,” Mikasa murmured, looking past the alpha to see Levi leaning against the wall.  He was attempting to look nonchalant, but she could see he was on the verge of collapse.  “Go take care of him.”

“Mikasa, I…”

“I love you too,” she smiled.  “Come on, Armin.”

The pair turned to return to their respective barracks, Eren rushing to get the door unlocked and Levi inside as quickly as possible.  The moment it was open he scooped Levi into his arms, concerned that he wasn’t met with any protest.  Levi was limp in his hold, limbs trembling and face contorting in pain.

Bath. Levi needed to be in the bath.  He was too hot.

“Hey, Levi, talk to me.  You ok?” he spoke lowly, purposely jostling the raven to agitate him.

“’M hot.  Clothes hurt.”

“Alright,” was all Eren managed to mutter, nuzzling his face against a flushed cheek.  It startled and concerned the brunette how quickly Levi had gone from flipping him like a pancake to being nearly incapacitated by fever and pain.

“I’m sorry,” Levi murmured as Eren set him on the bed, tasking himself with removing the captain’s boots and other garments.

“For what?” the younger frowned.

“What I had to do,” came the slurred response.  “I couldn’t…”

“I understand why you did it.  I’m not angry.  I’m sorry I put you in that position.”

With a quick kiss to Levi’s temple, Eren finished undressing the smaller, laying him out on the nest they’d created.  He ran to draw Levi a tepid bath, well aware of the fact that they had spent an unusual amount of time in the water since their strange little journey had begun.  A combination of overheating and the general need for cleanliness had practically forced them into living in the bathroom.  The shifter couldn’t decide if he was amused or disturbed by it.

Returning to the main room of his quarters, he once again picked Levi up, carrying him into the bathroom to gently settle him in the tub.  He had made the choice not to join the raven this time, preferring to give his full attention to his mate from outside the basin.  Levi didn’t need to be washed, he just needed to be kept cool, and sponging the lukewarm water over his body was the best way to do that.

Levi had enough strength to hang over the lip of porcelain, body almost listless from fever and nausea.  Eren smoothed his hair out of his eyes, noting how glazed over they were.  They weren’t empty exactly, but there was a small void there.

“I hate feeling like this,” Levi croaked.

“I know you do.”

“I don’t have any control of myself.”

Eren opened his mouth to speak, wanting to offer reassurance, but then thought better of it.  For the next few minutes he simply drew cool water over Levi’s skin with his hands.  Cloth hurt him too much.  When he’d pulled wet fingers through saturated black silk for what seemed like the thousandth time, he finally spoke.

“I lost my virginity to Ymir,” he stated quietly, eyes focused on the bathroom tile.  “It was one of the worst experiences of my life.”

The raven made a small noise, but nothing else followed.  Eren chose to continue.

“I presented not long after the Corps took custody of me.  I was still down in the dungeon, still being guarded.  Initially they thought that I was presenting as an omega, but their thoughts on that changed fairly quickly.  Hanji was excited…”

“Hanji’s…a fuckwit,” Levi wheezed.

Eren chuckled, but it was humorless.

“The commander was concerned about my transforming.  That was fair.  I had just enough thought left in my head to be worried about it myself,” the brunette spoke quietly, a heavy swallow following.  “Ymir showed up in the dungeon on the third day, I think.  I don’t really remember.  But I remember…I…remember…”

“You don’t have…to tell me…Eren.”

Yes, he did.

“There were two guards with her.  I didn’t know who they were, but I didn’t know who anybody was, then.  Doesn’t really matter.  But she walked with them as if nothing was wrong at all.  She saw me half mad and screaming.  When the guards opened the cell door and shoved her in, she stood there, just watching me.  She watched me for what seemed like forever.  I don’t know what she saw, but it made her angry.  Not that that’s hard…everything makes Ymir angry.”

The alpha paused again, feeling something twist up in his gut.  Guilt.

“Those guards never left.  Not when she undressed herself, not when she took my pants off, not when she let me…”

“Eren.”

“They weren’t there for her safety.  They didn’t care about her or about me.  I know that and I understand it.  I understand why.  But it doesn’t change the fact that others saw me…treat her that way.  Savage her like a rabid wolf.  It doesn’t change that I couldn’t stop myself.  It doesn’t change the way she looked at me, like it was fine when it wasn’t fine.  It…it doesn’t change that I had no control.”

Eren didn’t cry, but the urge nearly overwhelmed him when Levi’s scent surrounded him.  An attempt to comfort.  Pruny fingertips pressing against his knuckles pushed him a little closer to the edge and he took a deep, shaky breath before continuing.

“Ymir hasn’t ever said a kind word to me.  I don’t think she’s ever been kind to anybody except Krista, and even then, the way she expresses herself is strange.  For three days, the only two words I heard from her were “It’s alright.”  That’s all she ever said.”

Because she didn’t want him to feel guilt, Eren knew.  That didn’t remove his shame, though.  Didn't absolve him of his sins.

“We can’t control everything, Levi.  Not even ourselves, sometimes.  And I know it feels like weakness, but…we’re human.  There are choices we make that prove our strength.  There are choices we make that prove our humanity.  I have to live with what I did.  And the only reason I can is because I know that she made the choice to be there.  I know she did it for selfish reasons, because Ymir is selfish.  It doesn't change that she was strong when she made that choice.  It doesn’t change that she made a sacrifice.  It doesn’t change that because of that sacrifice I was able to live long enough to start learning how to control myself.  I was able to live long enough for you to teach me how.”

Levi heaved himself out of the tub with what little strength he had left, throwing his arms around Eren’s shoulders and soaking his shirt.  Eren didn’t care.

“I know you’ve already had to learn once,” the alpha breathed against a wet neck, “but you can learn again.  You already are.  It doesn’t have to be like…”

“It hasn’t been…like that…” Levi shuddered, wet fingers in a death grip on Eren’s shirt.  The whole of his experience had been indescribably painful, but still nothing like what Eren had endured.  And the captain knew that Eren wasn’t trying to put his anger, his frustration, into any sort of perspective.  He was only empathizing with the loss he felt.  The humiliation.  He was re-teaching a lesson that Levi had not only learned long ago, but had taught Eren himself.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

* * *

Levi stumbled back to the bed with Eren’s help.  Their nest had been reformed atop the mattress, the smaller moving a thing or two into a different position before crashing into it.  Eren undressed himself, adding his pants to the heap, knowing Levi liked to scent things that he had worn.  His wet shirt went into the hamper.

“Hold me,” Levi demanded with a shiver.  He was still too hot, but he needed Eren’s skin against his to soothe the persistent ache he felt.  He couldn’t even pinpoint where it was.  It was just…everywhere.

“What are you thinking?” the alpha asked him.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you,” he replied, voice slightly smoothed out as his pained quaking began to subside.

“There was nothing you could have done then.”

“I knew that you had presented, but nobody ever told me…I didn’t…”

“That’s not your fault.”

“Maybe it’s not.  Maybe it is.  But you didn’t deserve that, and neither did she.”

“We don’t talk about it.  And the number of people who know are limited to the fingers one hand.  Mikasa doesn’t even know.”

_Alpha shared only with omega._

“I love you,” was the only thing the raven could think of to say.  It was all he had to convey his gratitude and affection.

“I love you, too.”

They fell asleep like that, tangled up in each other with no space between them. 

There weren’t any more secrets to keep them apart.


	61. Suck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They do not do the thing this chapter. There's smut, but not the thing. That is officially next chapter. I can say that because it's half written xD This, as always, is a chapter that gets me where I want to go.

“Eren,” Levi groaned.  “Oi, Eren! Wake up!”

The alpha sat bolt upright, eyes searching the dark for signs of danger, his scent immediately turning smoky and heavy.

“I need tea.  The stuff Hanji sent with us when we were away.”

“I don’t have any here,” Eren whispered, frowning to himself.

_Alpha should care for omega._

“In my room.  It’s in a pouch on my desk, next to my keys.  The door should be unlocked.”

“I’ll go get it.  I’ll be back in just a minute,” he said as he slipped into a pair of pants.

True to his word, Eren returned in short order.  He’d also had the presence of mind to snatch up Levi’s tea service, since he didn’t have one of his own.  He’d have to make it a priority to get one.  He sat his items down on a small table in the corner of his room and busied himself readying everything, taking random glances over to the bed where the raven remained curled up, attempting to ease the cramps that plagued his belly.

“Still too hot?”

“Yeah,” Levi replied with a wince.

“I’m pretty sure this tea can be cold steeped.  I don’t want to start a fire in here if you can’t handle it.”

“Cold is fine, I don’t care.  I just want these fucking cramps to stop.”

A distressed whine followed Levi’s declaration and Eren hurried to get the teapot filled and the leaves in the water.  He found himself climbing back onto the bed so he could hold Levi while the tea steeped.  His scent glands were throbbing and painful, and his throat was dry.  Eren was fairly sure he was falling into rut again.  It made sense…they’d been back almost a month.  He was due to come in.

Warm fingers curled around Eren’s own and he looked down to see Levi pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles.

“What are you doing?”

“You were reaching for it again,” the raven intoned gently.  “It’s still there, Eren.  They’re both still there.  They don’t show any signs of healing over the same way the others do.”

“Can you…feel me?”

“I’m in your lap, you shitty brat.  Yes, I can feel you.”

“No,” Eren said, tone serious.  “I mean I can feel you…your presence.  It doesn’t matter where I am, I’m aware of you.  It’s not super strong, but it’s there.”

Levi strategically tucked his head against Eren’s throat, a soft sigh escaping him before he quietly said, “Yeah, kid.  You’re there.”

The reply was so simple, and yet, the alpha understood the weight of admission.

“Is that ok?

Levi only tipped his head upwards to press his mouth to younger man’s, the kiss sweet and soft.  That was answer enough.

* * *

After consuming his cup of tea Levi buried himself in their shared nest once more, comfortable enough to rest.  Eren, however, was restless.  The feeling of his skin being too tight was becoming rather prominent, and he felt great frustration being near the raven presently.  He smelled good, but not _ready_.  At one point Levi had been grinding against him in his sleep, but he was easily dissuaded, turning over onto his back to let the cool breeze waft over him to soothe still burning skin.

Levi had admitted that he felt the desire to mate, but not the need.  It wasn’t like the first time at all.  The omega consciousness that resided within him was currently content simply knowing the alpha was present, and the alpha consciousness had been sated by the mating that had already taken place, the bonding ritual further solidifying its satisfaction.  Levi had also admitted that even though Eren was interested, he didn’t think he was capable of topping for the time being.  His inner omega fussed at that idea, and the chances of him refuting its rejection in that regard were low.

That lead to Eren curling up with Levi just long enough for the raven to fall asleep before he removed himself.  He paced back and forth along the floorboards, swallowing down every vocalization that threatened to rise from his throat.  The pull of rut was all too familiar to him, and though he was tempted to let it have its way, the alpha refused.  It still didn’t feel right. Eren knew he’d understand when it was the right time to proceed, but now wasn’t it.  For the time being, relief could be found in his hand. 

It wasn’t like it would be the first time for such things.

A low voice thick with sleep halted him in his tracks.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Oh, I was…I, uh…”

“Were you going to go beat it in the john?”

“No!”

“I can see your dick in your pants, brat.”

Eren’s response was to sputter incoherently.  Levi only sighed, forcing himself to roll out of bed and onto shaky legs to make his way towards the flustered brunette.  It wasn’t until the raven was on his knees, mouth pressed to the cotton of the brunette’s sleep pants, that Eren remembered how to form words.

“What are you doing?!”

“Composing a sonnet! What the fuck does it look like I’m doing?!”

“You really don’t have to…"

“Eren, do you like having your dick sucked?”

“Y-yeah.”

“What a coincidence! I like sucking dick!  Now are you gonna let me do this or are you going to skulk off to the bathroom to rub one out in semi-silent shame?”

“I…I don’t…”

Levi sighed again, thumbs rubbing gentle circles over prominent hipbones.

“Look, I wouldn’t offer to do this if I didn’t want to.  Let me?”

The younger male bit his lip, looking down at the man on the floor.  A shiver coursed over his skin, noting he was excited to see Levi on his knees.  With a heavy swallow and a nod. he allowed Levi to do as he pleased.  A velvet tongue and the heat of a welcoming mouth almost made his knees buckle.  Sheer stubbornness kept the alpha standing.

For a few moments Eren’s hands hovered in the air, unsure if he was allowed to touch.  The notion was quite ridiculous considering all that he and Levi had been through over the last few weeks, but that thread of insecurity still remained wound around his heart.  A particularly harsh suck to his length ended the brunette’s internal debate, his fingers automatically seeking something to grab onto to ground himself.

When Eren made to remove his hands Levi’s own promptly stopped him, pressing the younger’s palms firmly against his skull.  Hooded grey eyes looked shamelessly upwards, a tug on tan hips letting the alpha know he could move if he wanted to.  The raven dropping his mouth open wide so Eren could witness his cock resting on that small pink tongue nearly did the shifter in.

“Fucking hell, that is way hotter than it should be!” Eren ground out, hips inching forward in tiny thrusts.  There was a part of him that wanted to see Levi choke around him.  A part of him that wanted to see those bored eyes watery with tears of effort and a mouth red rimmed from being stretched over his cock.  Another time, perhaps.

Levi hummed around the fullness in his mouth, an arm wrapping around Eren’s lower back as the brunette guided himself in deeper.  His free hand sneaked between his legs and he began stroking himself, hard and fast, happily whimpering while the alpha that towered over him bucked forward.

A sharp intake of breath had Levi looking up again to see Eren’s eyes had closed.  His grip was lax in Levi’s hair, encouraging the smaller to keep up his efforts without offering any actual guidance.  He looked totally fucked out and the captain felt pride swelling in his chest.  Debauchery looked good on Eren.

“Gonna come,” Eren husked.  “Levi, ‘m gonna…”

“Mmmhmm,” was the only answer the alpha received.  Even on his knees with his mouth full of cock Levi managed to sound simultaneously annoyed and endeared by Eren’s statement of the obvious.  With a forceful pressure against the brunette’s lower back he stilled the taller man, taking his length in far enough to swallow around him.  His upper body went entirely still, save for the one arm that had control over the rapidly moving hand between his legs.

Eren moaned loud and low, thighs tensing and hips tipping forward, held in place by Levi’s muscular arm.  He shuddered and sighed as he felt his cock throb, quiet declarations of adoration spilling from his lips as he poured himself down Levi’s throat.  The raven’s tongue stroked him through his climax, sliding along the base, lips squeezing the slightest bit tighter, pulling off only when he was sure Eren had finished.

Levi didn’t even have any time to ask the alpha if it was any good as he quickly found himself laid out on his back, a ravenous titan shifter between his legs.  He was able to fist his fingers in the chaotic tangle of Eren’s hair just before he was effectively pinned beneath the larger man.  His dick was engulfed in the heat of Eren’s mouth and he squealed before he could stop himself.

“FUCKING FUCK!”

Eren was a mess, growling loud and raucous, tongue tapping beneath the tip of the captain’s cock before swallowing him down quickly.  He gagged, but he found he didn’t care.  He just wanted to be full of Levi in every way possible.  Levi had been so close to the edge to begin with that it didn’t take but a couple of minutes for the alpha’s enthusiastic suckling to garner the result he sought.  With a golden jaw cupped in his hands Levi let himself go.  He felt Eren swallow once, twice, and then looked up to see the younger man open his mouth wide so the raven could watch himself finish.

And Levi did watch.  He watched with rapt attention as the final spurts of his seed made themselves at home on Eren’s tongue, coating it a translucent white.  He watched as Eren carefully pulled his tongue away, curling it back towards his throat so as not to lose any.  And he watched as Eren very pointedly swallowed and licked his lips, the smile that followed smug and self-satisfied.

“You little shit,” the smaller heaved.

Eren crawled over him, staring down into cold steel for the briefest of moments as he, too, tried to catch his breath.  And then he leaned over to capture thin lips in a kiss, tongue delving inside to twine with Levi’s, each man tasting the remnants of the other that remained.

“If you don’t calm down we’re going to have to do this all over again.”

“Good,” Eren rumbled, plying pale skin with open mouthed kisses, “because I plan on doing it over and over again, for as long as you’ll let me.”

Levi couldn’t find it in himself to complain.

 


	62. Seal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of the second half of their bonding. I'm extremely happy with this.

After pulling themselves off the floor Eren opted to take a nap for a change, Levi deciding to take up residence on the couch near the window.  The alpha was utterly exhausted between the almost constant breeding and the lack of sleep.  It was around two in the afternoon, but time still lacked any real meaning for the men.  It remained in the back of their minds that once their bonding was completed they would again have to face the realities of their lives. 

There was still an enemy to fight.  They were still in mortal danger every day.  They would again suffer losses when they returned to their expeditions.  They could be casualties themselves.  And of course Levi had concerns.  How could he not?  Hanji had only just begun to try and figure out how to create suppressants for him.  There were still too many unknowns in regards to Levi’s change.  Erwin would have to weigh the risk versus the reward of sending him back into the field without proper medication. 

Eren was hard enough to deal with when in rut on a mission.  He was far more formidable during his transformations, hormones further fueling his rage, but they also made him more likely to lose control of his titan.  He’d learned to control it while in rut, but there would always be concern that Levi would have to end things if the alpha lost himself to it all.  Both of them in rut, or he in heat while Eren was in rut would prove disastrous.  The Corps couldn’t afford to run missions without them.  They suffered too many casualties to begin with, and while Levi didn’t believe himself to be particularly vain, he understood the part he played within the military.  His role was not insignificant.

Levi blinked, forcing himself to abandon that train of thought.  He turned his gaze to the prone man in bed.  He actually hadn’t twisted himself up like some mangled corpse for a change.  Rather, Eren was comfortably situated on his back, one arm thrown up over his head, face tilted towards the window.  Levi couldn’t say he was surprised, as he had often found Eren literally facing the dawn over the years.  He had once asked the shifter why he faced the sun in such a fashion, and Eren had responded, “I rise before the enemy, so I can see them coming.  So we don’t die in this cage.”

The captain had wanted to call the younger man foolish, but he hadn’t had the will to take Eren’s hope from him.  Freedom may have been an illusion to Levi, but Eren would never stop seeking it, and he had no right to make him try.  How ironic that the raven was finding he was becoming more free than he ever had been, had ever considered he could be, by binding himself to the alpha.

* * *

Levi, having left his perch after an hour or so, had situated himself against Eren’s side, his chin resting on the taller’s chest.  He had simply watched the brunette sleep for a time, but eventually he had stirred and woken to find soft eyes watching him.  Eyes that glowed a gentle blue, only slightly more colorized than their usual cloudy grey.

“Hi,” was all Eren could think of to say.  He was half breathless, too captivated by those bright irises to offer anything more.

“You smell good,” Levi replied simply, nose sliding along the curve of Eren’s jaw to lightly scent his throat.

The alpha shuddered at the dark tone of the smaller man’s voice.  He gasped when Levi ground himself against his thigh.  Green eyes closed while he mimicked the captain’s actions, taking in the odors along his throat and collarbones.

“What do I smell like?”

“Une prairie après une tempête de pluie. Violettes été. Home.  Mine.”

_We belong to you._

Eren barely managed to swallow the knot in his throat.  This time it was not one of joy or sorrow, but of nervousness.  Careful fingertips pushed midnight hair out of Levi’s eyes and he just watched him.  And yet again, it wasn’t like it had been at the outpost.  Levi wasn’t looking through him this time.  He was looking directly at him, pupils slowly dilating, searching his face.

“Your eyes are glowing,” the brunette whispered.

“So are yours.”

Levi moved before Eren did, gracefully straddling his waist.  Small fingers drew their way down his chest. Stopping at the first ridge of his abs.  Eren let him do as he pleased, content with just being touched.  He couldn’t complain about the view, either, with Levi naked and hard on top of him, late afternoon sunlight streaming through the window to backlight him.

Gods he was beautiful.

_He is ours.  And we are his._

Eren allowed Levi a few more minutes of seemingly mindless contact, though he knew it was anything but.  The raven was concentrating, calculating.  Something heavy had settled in the air, and while it wasn’t oppressive or uncomfortable, both of them were aware of an impending change.  Levi did his best to be still when the alpha slowly sat up, tan hands smoothing up along thick biceps only to trail back down and graze over wrists that looked more delicate than they were.  Their final destination was Levi’s waist, the grip barely there.

The alpha was aware of the dampness against his crotch, Levi having slid down to sit there when the shifter had sat up.  The raven was noticeably producing slick and that knowledge caused goosebumps to form on Eren’s skin.  So good.  He smelled so good.

“Levi.”

The alpha wasn’t sure why he said the other man’s name.  He was right there in front of him, staring back with those eyes.  Those beautiful damn eyes that were heavy lidded and open all at the same time.  Those eyes that weren’t trying to hide anything from him.

Eren leaned forward, slow and hesitant, and Levi responded in much the same way.  He moved so they could meet in the middle, their movements slightly halted, gauging, reading each other.  When their lips met there was no hunger there, no fire burning in their bellies, no desperation.  The kiss was sweet, searching, just shy of chaste.

It wasn’t what either of them expected.

Thin lids covered illuminated blue-grey, head tipping up and sideways to allow Eren to press his lips against the sensitive skin of his throat.  Levi’s Adam’s apple bobbed when the alpha’s mouth brushed against it.  He shivered when that mouth began sucking purposeful bruises along his collarbones.  His breath caught in his throat when careful hands were placed on either side of his neck, normally clumsy thumbs gingerly brushing over his cheekbones.

Levi opened his eyes when he felt Eren’s forehead press to his, closed them again and curled his fingers around wrists that were so much larger than his own.  So much strength in those hands, and yet they cradled him as if he were something fragile.  Something precious.

Something beautiful.

A pale hand moved from Eren’s wrist to rest over a scarred scent gland, his touch light and reverent.  The bond that currently existed between them felt like nothing in comparison to what it was going to become.  It felt weak, and tenuous, and Levi found that he hated the feeling.  Eren deserved more.

Levi, too, deserved more.

_We have earned alpha._

Levi swallowed roughly, refusing to remove his hand from Eren’s scarred flesh.  He opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to find the right words, but they wouldn’t come.  It was frustrating him.  He needed Eren to know.  He needed him to know what he felt, how he felt, and he didn’t know how to express himself.

“Levi?”

An opalescent green gaze was on him, studiously watching, a combination of hope and trepidation intermingling in his irises.  It took the raven another minute to find the words he needed, but when they made themselves known, he spoke them with surety.

“I need this.  I need you, mon alpha.”

Eren didn’t ask him if he was sure this time.  He didn’t ask if Levi needed more time to think about it, if he understood what it all meant.  He just kissed him.  He kissed him until he couldn’t tell if the air he was breathing belonged to him or to Levi. 

It didn’t matter.

Levi was his, and would be forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Une prairie après une tempête de pluie. Violettes été - A meadow after a rainstorm. Summer violets.  
> mon alpha - My alpha


	63. Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twenty nine hundred. Two thousand nine hundred. 2900. That is how many words are in this chapter. I had to stop writing multiple times because it got a bit heavy for me.
> 
> I hope you all like it, because I poured my heart into it.

Eren canted his hips upwards, one of his hands applying soft pressure against Levi’s side to encourage him to roll over.  Levi complied without complaint, welcoming the brunette to settle between his thighs.  He couldn’t stop the purring that resonated in his chest.  He didn’t bother to try.

“I like that sound,” the alpha confessed quietly.

The raven only blinked in response, but pride was evident in his expression.

_Alpha is pleased._

Eren’s touch was light on his skin.  His entire demeanor radiated of possessiveness, but he was also very clearly being cautious.  His nerves were showing and Levi couldn’t help but tease him a bit, if for no other reason than to relieve some of his own tension.

“I’m not going to break, Eren.”

“Yes you are,” the brunette replied.  His tone was serious, but not unkind.  It held some sort of promise that Levi didn’t entirely understand, but he wanted to.  He had to trust Eren to show him.  He had to trust that if he broke, when he broke, Eren would put him back together.

But then, that’s what he’d been doing over the past several weeks, wasn’t it?

“It’s strange, you know.  Being able to look at you like this, touch you like this.  I never thought that I would get to.  That you would let me.  Honestly, I thought that if you ever found out, you’d kill me, or worse, laugh at me for being a stupid kid.”

“When you were younger, I might have.  I wouldn’t have laughed, but I definitely would have told you that you were a fucking idiot.”

“So…why now?” Eren asked, biting his lip and averting his gaze.

“Because you see me,” the raven replied without thought.  The answer had been so obvious to him he didn’t even have to consider it, and it was startling.

“I don’t understand why or how others don’t.  If it’s because they don’t want to or because they just can’t.  I know that I couldn’t always see you, who you are, because I didn’t know you.”

“You know me now.”

“I know you enough to know that I want…I want to know more.  Anything you’re willing to share with me…I want it.”

“Greedy,” Levi huffed.  A deflection attempting to tamp down his discomfort.

“Yes,” Eren agreed, “I am.”

“I’m ok with that this time,” Levi rumbled, the noise transforming into another heady purr as he wrapped his arms around Eren’s neck and pulled him down for a kiss.

* * *

They laid together like that for a long time, Eren pressing Levi into the mattress while the former made the latter love drunk on sweet kisses.  Eren swore he was melting into the raven, bleeding into him with every press of his lips against fever-flushed skin.

“Eren,” Levi panted, “Eren, I need…please…”

The brunette understood what was being asked of him, and he moved away just enough for Levi to turn over and raise his ass.  By the three walls was that ever a perfect ass.  The alpha allowed himself to indulge, squeezing the muscular flesh in his hands and separating Levi’s cheeks with his thumbs.  Dewy eyes blazed bright with interest, watching the pucker of Levi’s ass twitch.  The sight made him salivate, and he wasn’t entirely sure why.  He was sure that it didn’t matter.

Levi whined, the noise high pitched and drawn out.  He wanted Eren to _do_ something, anything, other than stare.  Such attention made him uncomfortable.  And it wasn’t because he was ashamed of his body.  The very idea of that was laughable to the captain.  It was the _way_ the alpha was looking at him.  Levi knew, without turning back to see for himself, that he would find complete and unadulterated adoration in those eyes if he bothered to look.

_We are worthy of it.  Alpha is pleased by us._

Eren interrupted the raven’s thoughts, the brunette leaning down to place a gentle bite on one of the globes of Levi’s ass.

“Ah!” Levi cried out, pelvis dropping and jerking forward.  A low growl and a tug on his hips had him reconsidering his actions.  He flinched slightly when he felt teeth sinking into the flesh on the opposite side, but made no attempt to escape. 

“Levi,” Eren breathed against pinked skin, “can I?”

“Can you what?” he shuddered out.

The response he received was in the form of Eren’s tongue sliding over his entrance in one long drag.

“Sweet mother of Rose!”

A dark chuckle reached his ears before he felt Eren suck at him, tongue dipping low to stroke over his balls.  The alpha enjoyed such exclamations, those loud notations that he was doing something correct.  They encouraged him, soothed his nerves, and invigorated his libido.  Not that he needed help in that department.

Levi had fallen largely silent, save for the myriad of noises he couldn’t manage to hold back.  Whimpers, whines, low moans, gasps for breath.  They were all music to Eren’s ears as he plunged his tongue inside sweet heat.  He wondered how it was, exactly, that Levi tasted like honey on his tongue.  It didn’t really matter.  He was delicious.

“Fucking hell!  Just fuck me you brat!”

That caught the alpha’s attention.  His head popped up, hands resting on the small of Levi’s back, stroking the skin there.  He admired the man underneath him for another few moments before he spoke.

“Is that what you think I’m going to do to you?” the younger questioned, taking the opportunity to grind against the slick crevice of Levi’s ass.  “We’ve done that already.  And while I’ll never say that I’m tired of fucking, that’s not what I want this time.”

“What is it you want then?” the raven all but sobbed.  He was trapped beneath the larger man, vibrating with need, and now was the time Eren chose to wax poetic.

“I want all of you,” Eren rumbled, cock pressing forward to sink into Levi in one smooth stroke. 

The captain immediately rocked backwards against Eren’s length, desperate to feel it deeper.  He hadn’t required any prep thanks to his heat, but there was still a stretch, a satisfying burn.  He wanted to feel it all.

“Merde…”

The alpha draped himself over his mate, nuzzling behind his ear while he shivered and tried to stay calm.  This wasn’t like the other times, and he was incredibly aware of it.  All of his senses were in overdrive.  He felt overprotective and possessive, but it was coupled with unyielding adoration and devotion.  He wanted to wrap Levi up within his body and never let him go.  Since he couldn’t do that, he wrapped his arms around the smaller man’s torso and pulled him up, slowly rocking back onto his knees with his feet tucked beneath his ass.

“Br-br-a-at!”

Desperate hands sought something to hold onto.  The raven ended up with one hand behind Eren’s head, twisted up in his hair.  Eren had one hand still securely wrapped around his stomach, and Levi took hold of his wrist, the brunette’s other hand having wound between his arm and ribcage to curl upwards and rest over his heart.  The captain’s back bowed at an awkward angle, his position mimicking Eren’s own, knees spread wide with his feet behind him.  Considering that the tip of Eren’s dick was pressed firmly against his prostate, he couldn’t complain.

He literally couldn’t complain.  The memory of his dream came to him and he realized that, without even really moving, Eren had fucked him speechless.

It was still embarrassing as shit.

The first roll of Eren’s hips forced the captain’s mouth to drop open in a soundless gasp.  The second had him pulling at chocolate strands and crying out.  The third had him gritting his teeth and trying to grind down into Eren’s lap.

“So beautiful, Levi.  You’re so beautiful.  You feel so good,” Eren spoke, voice heavy with lust.  “Let me stay here,” he sighed, fingers curling where they rested over his heart.  “Let me stay.”

The raven had no words to answer him with, and it wasn’t because of the cock buried in his ass, it wasn’t because he couldn’t think of anything to say.  It was because it was all inadequate.  There weren’t any words in existence that would allow Eren to understand the depth of Levi’s feelings for him.  All he had to offer, all he could think to do, was allow his head to roll back and rest against Eren’s shoulder.

His throat was bared for the alpha, he could take the bite any time he wanted to.

The sharp sting did not come.  Not on a scent gland, anyway. 

The first bite that Eren placed was on his shoulder, near where he’d bitten the first time they’d slept together.  Levi didn’t strike out at him this time.  He allowed the rush of adrenaline to intoxicate him.  He let the sweep of Eren’s soft tongue over the wound distract him from the throbbing of his neglected cock.  The heat of a second bite blossomed on his nape and his body momentarily went slack, Eren supporting the whole of his weight.

Levi took it for what it was.  An almost passive show of dominance.  It was instinctual, not arrogant, and not only could the raven not find it within himself to be angry, he welcomed it, craved it, wanted more of it.

Over the next five minutes Eren placed mating marks across his upper body from one bicep to the other, even as he continued to rock into the smaller man.  Bloody teeth marks imprinted over alabaster skin.  Tiny rivulets of crimson trickled their way down Levi’s flesh only to be smeared by the alpha’s tongue as he licked at them.  Levi whined when his thighs began to shake, fatigue setting in from the position Eren had chosen.

“Are you alright?”

“Hard to…keep this up…” the captain wheezed.

The alpha raised a gentle hand to remove Levi’s fingers from his hair, the grip around his waist never faltering as he carefully leaned forward so the raven could catch himself while Eren pulled out.  There was a question burning in still glowing irises, but the shifter assuaged any concerns by sitting on the edge of the bed, gesturing for the elder to return to his lap.

“I want you like this,” Eren exhaled as Levi sank down on him again.  “I want you just like this when I…I want to be able to see your face.”

Neither one had thought it possible, but their movements slowed further.  Nothing about what they were doing was rushed.  They weren’t on a time limit.  Eren had fully expected to want to take Levi hard and fast.  He had fully expected his instincts to take over.  But that didn’t happen.  His inner alpha rejoiced, knowing what was to come, but it did not encourage him to be forceful.  It only offered praise.

_We have earned our omega.  He is perfect for us!  He belongs to us!_

Levi’s own inner voices had stopped warring, his inner omega nearly screeching its happiness.  His inner alpha, though displeased, wasn’t angry.  It begrudgingly accepted what was happening, acknowledging the strength of the alpha who had bested it.

A sweet croon pulled Levi from his reverie and he responded in kind with a quiet chirp.  He followed it with that lilting warbling noise that nobody could place.  It didn’t matter.  Eren loved it.

“Do you trust me?” Eren spoke through a shiver, head bowed.

“I do.”

The brunette nodded his head, hesitating for just a moment before he spoke.

He used alpha voice.

“Tell me how you feel,” the alpha said. 

“Je me sens bien,” Levi moaned, unable to hold back his answer.  “So good, alpha.”

“That’s good,” Eren smiled, head dropping to kiss just below a collarbone before he bit into thin skin.

A sharp yelp escaped the raven, but he didn’t shove Eren away.  He held him closer, encouraging.  He didn’t like pain the way Eren did.  He could handle it, but didn’t like it.  But this kind of pain?  Mating marks were a comfort, a promise, a visible show of a connection, and he welcomed them.

“Plus. S'il te plaît, plus.  I need it.  I need you,” Levi hiccupped.  He wasn’t going to cry, but he couldn’t stop the oppressive feeling of being overwhelmed.  Emotions were such a bitch.

Something about the way Levi spoke broke Eren, his eyes going wide as Levi’s gaze bore straight into his own.

“Tell me again!” he demanded, the timbre of his voice seemingly rattling in his ribcage, hips bucking upwards, insistent.

That icy gaze held his, refusing to turn away.  Levi flashed his teeth, placing a sharp nip over Eren’s already scarred gland, licking at the slightly bitter oil that seeped from it.

“Bond me, alpha.  Show the world that I’m yours.”

The shifter all but lost his mind then, shoving himself upwards, still buried in Levi.  The raven found himself being slammed against the wall, one of Eren’s hands braced just above his head while he used pressure from the barrier to keep the smaller exactly where he wanted him.

This was it, Levi thought.  This was what Eren had been holding back.  He couldn’t help but wonder why, because the sensation of the alpha pounding into him was sheer bliss.  His dick slid over Eren’s abs in just the right way, and though he didn’t hit it every time, the alpha’s cock would intermittently find his prostate, surprising Levi with a jolt of electric energy.

“Baise-moi! Baise-moi plus fort!  EREN!”

An endless stream of snarling poured from the shifter’s mouth.  It didn’t stop even when he opened his mouth to pant.  The only time it would cease was when Eren was praising his mate.

“So good, Levi.  You’re so good for me.  So tight.  Beautiful boy.  Mine, _mine, **mine**_!”

Levi moaned, trying to arch against the wall and failing.  He cried out again, head lolling to the side, and this time the opening provided was taken advantage of.  Eren stuck hard and fast, sharp teeth sinking into flesh.  He tasted the floral nectar of honey first, followed by the coppery tang of blood flooding over his tongue.  The alpha had to fight to keep his eyes from rolling back in his head. 

The captain was screaming, scratching at Eren’s back, biting at his jaw, thick legs squeezing his waist in a vice grip.  The actions only spurred the alpha on, his movements frenzied and out of control.  The last vestiges of it were given over as he shoved himself deep inside his mate, his final action being that of tearing into the raven’s other scent gland right at the moment they tied.

In the back of Levi’s mind, it occurred to him that there was no way people couldn’t hear them.  They both probably sounded like they were being murdered, what with him screeching like a tortured banshee and Eren’s savage growling and roaring.  But the captain had no fucks to give.  They’d all flown away, right out the goddamn window.  All that he cared about was the hot throbbing in his ass and the soul deep contentment he felt as Eren flooded him.

A startled cry was emitted when a hot hand found his cock, weeping and sore.  Levi was so fucked out that he hadn’t even registered that he hadn’t come.  He said nothing as Eren pumped him in earnest.  He simply allowed himself to go slack jawed, clinging to his mate with the last of his strength, rutting against his palm in tiny thrusts.  His range of motion was limited by Eren’s knot in his ass, but the tug of it sent a flare of pleasure through his lower body each time he moved.

“Come on love,” the shifter panted against his mouth.  “Be a good boy.  Make a mess for me.”

Levi whined and shuddered, swallowing down his embarrassment.

“I know you’re close, Levi.”

“Eren…” he gasped, fingers pulling at sweaty brown hair.

“Come on, Levi.  Come on,” the alpha murmured against his lips before claiming his mouth in a deep kiss, hand twisting around the wet tip of his length.

A long, drawn out moan passed from Levi’s mouth to Eren’s, violent shuddering wracking his body as he came in several hot spurts over a golden hand.  The force of it caused him to bite down on the alpha’s lower lip, but Eren only groaned, excited by the pain.

When the alpha pulled away he stared at the raven for a long moment.  Wordlessly, he walked back to the bed, grateful it was a short distance, and sat back down.  The rocking of his hips began immediately, but it was nothing more than instinct.  He was physically sated for the time being.  Shaky hands found their way to sweaty cheeks, grey eyes searching a glazed expression.

“Eren?”

“Your eyes stopped glowing.”

“So did yours.”

“Can you feel that?” the alpha whispered, voice watery.

“You mean can I feel you?”

“Yes,” Eren answered.  He needed to know that Levi felt his presence.  That it was more than what it had been.

“I can.  I feel my alpha.  Do you feel your omega?” came the reply, equally apprehensive.

Eren offered a tearful smile, his hands mirroring the actions of Levi’s, each holding the face of the other, foreheads pressed together.

“I feel my alpha.  My omega.  My everything.”

His everything. 

Forever.

Always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merde… - Shit...  
> Je me sens bien. - I feel so good.  
> Plus. S'il te plaît, plus. - More. Please, more.  
> Baise-moi! Baise-moi plus fort! - Fuck me! Fuck me harder!


	64. Exhaust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is quite short, but making it longer would have changed nothing about it but the length. We're in the home stretch here.

“Oh!  Ahhhaaa…oh!  There, Eren!  Don’t…fuck, yes, there!”

Eren had Levi pressed face down into the bare mattress of their bed, Levi’s hands extended in front of him, fingers in a death grip on the edge.  The nest had long since been destroyed, but neither cared.  Levi no longer had a need for it, and it only hindered being close to Eren.  The brunette was perched on his thighs, tan hands gripping at Levi’s calves to aid in his balance as he thrusted forward.  Levi’s groans were the only thing keeping him moving, plaintive whines bubbling up in his chest.

“Almost…I can…almost….” Eren panted before bending down to mark a small patch of unmarked flesh on Levi’s back.  He came with a low moan, body trembling in exhaustion.  When the pair rolled over, Levi was surprised they separated.

“You didn’t tie me,” he wheezed, concern lacing his tone.

“Just means that I did my job.  My body is too tired to produce a knot.  You’ve bled me dry,” Eren laughed, amazed.  “Only ever had that happen once before,” he finished, smile fading from his face, something dark overtaking his expression.

It was gone as quickly as it had appeared.

“What day are you on?” Eren asked as he pulled Levi into his embrace.

“Four, I think.  It’s more bearable than the first time.  I’m not sure if it’s because we’re bonded now or because I’m just exhausted.  I’m still horny as fuck, but I don’t want to cut my own head off over it.”

“It’s quieter,” the shifter said, holding the captain tighter.  “It’s quieter in my head.”

“Oh?”

“After you bonded me, I could feel your presence.  Like a thread tied to my heart.  But now you’re just…everywhere.”

“Do you like that?” Levi asked, afraid of the answer, even though he knew he had no call to be.

“There isn’t a word for how it makes me feel,” the shifter said.  “I know that I feel like the piece of me that was missing isn’t missing anymore.”

“You’re a sap.”

“Yes.  But that doesn’t make what I said any less true.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“What’s it like for you?  Is it…annoying?”

“No.  I don’t feel you everywhere the way you feel me.  It’s more like your presence sits up here,” Levi tapped at his temple.  “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I know how you’re feeling.  I know that I feel warmer when you’re happy.  I know it’s harder for me to breathe when you’re upset.”

“I’m sorry in advance for what my emotions may do to you.”

“Guess it’s time to work on impulse control again, isn’t it?” Levi smirked into his pillow.

“Maybe after another round.”

Levi barked a laugh, turning over in Eren’s grip.  The shifter’s body was uncontrollably vibrating and jerking against the bed.  The idea that he was capable of another fuck was laughable.

“If you can sit up, you can fuck me again.”

Eren whined and then groaned.  Levi offered a cheeky smirk, raising his hands to run his fingertips though sweat soaked chocolate.  In the back of his mind, the texture of Eren’s hair disgusted him, but in the here and now, he only considered it a testament to how he was being cared for.

“Sleep, alpha.  I’ll still be here when you wake.”

Eren felt his eyes flutter, the warming presence in his chest telling him all he needed to know.

_He’ll be here._

* * *

When the pair dragged themselves out of bed again it was with the intent to go to the mess and find food.  They found that their trip was unnecessary when Eren opened the door to discover two trays loaded with food on it, a note with Levi’s name resting on one.

“Uh, is food usually brought to people who have…” the alpha blushed.

“Why are you asking me?  I don’t fucking know!” Levi snapped back, setting his tray down on the nightstand and picking up his note.  Eren was startled (and amused) to see a blush rising high on the captain’s cheeks.  His face remained impassive, but he couldn’t hide turning into a tomato.

“What’s it say?”

“Please don’t come out, we can’t afford any casualties just because Eren is being Eren.  We will bring you food.  You kept half the castle up all night with your fucking.  Armin is traumatized.  Happy honeymoon.  They signed it, “Literally everybody.””

“There’s no way that’s what it says!” Eren spluttered, reaching to snatch the note from Levi’s hands.  Unlike Levi who had burned bright as a midnight fire, Eren paled to the color of post-blaze ash.

“Oh my God,” he groaned.  “Oh my fucking God.”

“Keep that up and they’ll think we’re fucking again.  They probably think that’s what you call me,” Levi taunted, sitting down to take a bite out of the sandwich he’d been provided.

The brunette whined, the noise high pitched and distressed.  Levi reacted without thought, swallowing his mouthful of food and pulling the younger down by his ears to kiss him sweetly.

“They all know already, Eren.  Who cares if they heard?”

“It’s just that you’re…I mean I don’t own you, but…”

“I’m yours.  And you’re mine.  It’s not…it’s not bad that they know that.  It’s not a secret and it shouldn’t be.” the raven assured him.  He was finally, _finally_ , accepting the reality of what he and Eren were to each other.  What he said was true, it wasn’t a bad thing that others knew.  It was silly to think it would be, particularly when they’d spent so much time marking each other up both before and after they arrived back at the castle.

 “Are you ready to go back?” Eren asked as they ate, tone cautious.

“Would you be angry if I said yes?”

“I’d be concerned if you said no.”

“I need to be useful.  I’m not used to…this.  I’m trying.”

“I know you are, and I’ve never wanted you to be anything other than who you’ve always been.”

“I’m not the same as I was before all this, you know.”

“Are we ever the same?  I’m not the same as I was yesterday.  I won’t be the same person tomorrow that I am right now.”

An inky eyebrow quirked upwards, Levi carefully scanning the man in front of him.

“Are you sure you’re my brat?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” the shifter frowned, showing his confusion.

“That was terribly insightful.  One might come to think there’s a brain clunking around in there.”

“Hey!”

Levi’s chortling was cut short by a wave of heat overtaking him.  He squirmed in his seat as slick dripped down a thigh, though he tried to ignore it in favor of eating.  He was fucking hungry!

“Levi?  Do you need me to…”

“Food!”

“Levi, you can always...”

“NOURRITURE!” the raven roared at him, punctuating his annoyance with a hiss.

“Saint Sina!  Alright!  Alright!” Eren yelped, scrambling away to the other side of the room.  His tray, thankfully, was within reach, and he quickly snatched it up while doing his best to stay out of Levi’s line of sight.  His chest throbbed, the result of the bond transmitting Levi’s anger, and the shifter winced at the unfamiliar feeling.

The captain was ravenous and it was punctuated by the low growls and pleased mewls he made as he consumed his meal.  Eren couldn’t help but to think it was a strange sort of precious.  But then, Levi himself was a strange sort of precious.

And Eren was content with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOURRITURE! - FOOD!


	65. Meet

“Are you ready for this?” Levi asked Eren.  He was standing in front of his mirror, adjusting his cravat in preparation of going to see Erwin.  His heat had ended two days prior, but Eren was only just finishing his rut.  Much to the brunette’s chagrin, he was unable to let Levi depart without causing both of them great distress.  Levi had chosen to help Eren ride out the rest of his cycle.  It hadn’t even been a consideration for him to do otherwise. 

“I’m more ready than I thought I’d be,” Eren responded, tugging on his leather jacket.  His fingers ran down over the sleeves and then across the harness straps on his chest.  It felt good to be geared up again.  As fulfilling as his time with Levi had been (and many things got filled…repeatedly), it was time for them to return to duty, and the shifter was looking forward to it.

“You feel calm,” Levi observed as he walked toward Eren.  He ended up straightening the brunette’s collar.  It wasn’t really necessary, but the captain still felt compelled to touch him whenever possible.  He’d have to work on that.

“I suppose I am,” the shifter admitted.  “It’s more than that though.  I feel…” he trailed off, staring down at the man who was fussing with his jacket.

“You feel…?”

“Secure,” came the reply, gentle, but sure.

Levi didn’t blush, but he did turn his head away slightly, clearing his throat as he did so.

“Good,” was all he managed to say.  It wasn’t to slight Eren, as he felt the same way.  But even with as much talking as they had done over the last month and a half, Levi felt himself returning, at least partially, to his former nature.  He could feel that he was more open than before his change, but without the constant influence of hormones, without all the pressure of his new dynamic weighing him down, he was withdrawing again.

“Are you alright?”

Soft grey eyes looked upwards and Levi found sweet meadow green waiting for him.  Eren’s expression was a combination of fond and concerned.  Levi looked away once more, and then back up at the tall brunette.  He wanted to assure Eren that he was alright, because he wasn’t upset.  Not really.

“The way things have been between us…they’re not going to be the same.  Not now that we’re…”

“I know,” the alpha interrupted.  “I know, and that’s ok.”

“Do you?” Levi asked.  “I’m not talking about returning to duty, Eren.  I mean the things that I’ve shared, the _way_ that I’ve shared…it’s not going to be the same.”

“I don’t need it to be the same.  I don’t need you to gush about your day.  I don’t need you to tell me absolutely everything.  You’re allowed your secrets and your two word answers.  You’re allowed time to yourself.  You’re allowed to talk as much or as little as you want to.  You’re bonded to me, not indebted to me.  You don’t owe me anything.  I just want to love you.”

“How is this sort of thing always so easy for you?”

“None of this has been easy.  But…I’ve never expected you to deal with any of this the way I do.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re Levi, and I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

* * *

“OI!  Eyebrows!” Levi called out as he barged into Erwin’s office, Eren in tow.  “Give me my squad back!”

Erwin looked up from his paperwork, a small frown adorning his features as Levi stalked towards his desk.  Apparently the honeymoon was over and his captain was ready to return to duty.

“Ah, Levi!  You’re looking well!”

“I’ve got no interest in pleasantries, only my squad,” Levi said, arms crossing over his chest. 

“Of course, of course.  What do you think, Eren?” Erwin addressed the alpha.   “Does he seem ready to go back to work?”

Eren frowned slightly before responding, seemingly confused by the question.

“With all due respect, Commander, I’ve no say in whether or not the captain is ready.  That is a choice he can make without me.”

“Oh?” Erwin smiled.

“I am not his keeper, sir, he is mine.”

Eren had to fight to hold back his grin when he felt approval swelling through the bond.  He couldn’t help but to stand up a bit straighter.

Erwin only smiled more broadly, standing to approach the men.  He was pleased to find that Eren’s reaction to him was minimal.  There was a slight twitch, a stiffening of his body, but his scent remained entirely neutral.  Levi, as always, was completely indifferent to his presence.  He kept a close eye on the blonde, but there was no suspicion in him.

There had been a definite change in the pair.  Levi was fully prepared to be combative, but that wasn’t outside the norm for him.  He and Erwin had an adversarial camaraderie, and that worked for them.  What was most noticeable, however, was how at ease Eren was around him in comparison to his demeanor when the duo had first returned.  He wasn’t constantly trying to watch Levi, he didn’t smell angry, he wasn’t looking for a brawl.  He was entirely comfortable with the current state of things, and it was clear that the captain felt equally secure about where they stood.

The pair of them were dangerous together.  Erwin had a far more formidable weapon in his possession than had existed before they’d bonded.

“Levi?”

“Eh?”

“If I return you to duty, are you capable of handling the new recruits?” Erwin intoned.  His expression was serious.  The inquiry was sincere.

Bored eyes scanned the commander’s face, taking in the still healing flesh along Erwin’s thick neck.  The raven blinked slowly before flippantly replying, “Were those scars worth it?”

“We’ll find out, won’t we?” the blonde rumbled.  He understood the raven’s implication. “Collect your squad and begin remedial drills.  Our next expedition is in two months time.  That should be long enough for you two to fall back into things.  Dismissed.”

Eren and Levi both moved to depart, but when they reached the door, Levi asked Eren to continue on without him.

“Go find the others.  I’ll meet you all on the parade grounds in twenty minutes.”

Eren opened his mouth to protest but thought better of it.  He offered a strong salute and a, “Yes, sir!” before leaving.  He didn’t look back, and Levi was both grateful and proud.  He felt a slight tug low in his belly as his mate increased the distance between them, and he was surprised to find that the sensation was more comforting than not.  It was a constant reminder of Eren’s presence in his life, and he welcomed it, which was why he’d already chosen not to tolerate Erwin’s bullshit.

“Don’t do that again,” Levi warned, leaning up against the now closed office door.  “Don’t try and make him your puppet.  You don’t get to use me as leverage to control him.”

“I’ve no interest in controlling him, Levi.  You’re more than enough to keep me on my toes.”

Levi wasn’t buying it.  He made his way back over to the commander, his eyes darkening like thunderclouds. 

“That kid has proven his loyalty hundreds of times over by now.  He has suffered enough cruelties.  We’re friends, Erwin, and I trust you.  But I swear that if you try and use me as a pawn to control the brat, I will do more to you than scratch up that pretty face.”

“Are you threatening a superior officer, Captain?”

“I will do as you ask,” Levi growled.  “I will follow your orders.  But if you try to use those orders to manipulate Eren, you will be no commander of mine,” he finished with a flash of his teeth.

Erwin inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of Levi’s anger.  Burning pine with a lingering hint of violets.  The shifter’s scent clung to the captain even when he was so furious.  The strength of their bond was unlike anything Erwin had ever witnessed with another mated pair, and he was fascinated by it.  All the same…

“If it came down to choosing between securing a victory for the Corps and letting Eren die, what would you choose?”

“Victory,” Levi spat, eyes hardening.  “I would choose victory, because Eren would never forgive me if I didn’t.”

What Levi meant, Erwin understood, was that he would _always_ choose Eren.  Even if that choice meant letting Eren go.  Erwin had no reason to doubt the loyalty of either of them.

“I’ve been a pawn of the military since I was seventeen years old,” Levi spoke, tone even.  “This is the life I chose to live, even if the way I fell into it wasn’t favorable to me.  I also choose to live my life by making the choice I regret the least.  You know this.”

“Do you regret bonding with Eren?”

“There is nothing to regret, because there was no choice to be made.  I may not have always known it, been aware of it…but I’ve always been Eren’s.”

The fire in Levi’s eyes struck the commander.  It was the same wild burning flame he’d witnessed when he’d first caught Levi in the Underground.  It was the same uncontrollable flare that he’d seen in Eren’s eyes when they’d taken the boy into custody four years ago.  Erwin knew all he needed to, and he extended a hand to the raven.

“Welcome back, Captain.”

Levi clasped Erwin’s meaty paw, his gaze focused and unwavering as he stared into cold blue.  Erwin blinked first.  A rare concession.  The captain stood the slightest bit taller, turned and exited the office without a word, leaving the commander to gaze after him with a fond smile on his lips.

“Teach them what true strength is, Levi.”


	66. Peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhhhh, we have like one chapter an an epilogue left, because holy shit I like where this went and it feels really good to me.
> 
> Apologies for typos (that I will edit when I am less tired). The D key on my laptop is shitting the bed an causing me problems.

Ever punctual, in twenty minutes’ time Levi had made his way onto the parade grounds.  Ten pairs of eyes focused on him as he strode past, and as soon as he made it to the head of the line, they all turned and fell in behind him.  Eld, and Gunther took to his left side while Petra and Oluo took to his right.  Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Sasha, and Connie filed in behind their elders while Eren took up the rear.

A hybrid omega in front.

An alpha in the back.

The training around them came to a halt as the Special Operations Squad marched by, their capes flapping in the wind.  Their faces were masks, matching that of their superior officer.  They did not wear smiles but carried pride in their hearts.  Their fealty was well observed.

When Levi finally stopped, the lot of them were standing in the midst of the training field.  Arms were placed tightly behind their backs, fists together, all of them at attention with their heads raised high.  They shared no glances with each other.  They focused on no one but their esteemed leader.

Though Levi was not one for theatrical displays, he knew full well what he needed to do in order to regain and retain respect from his colleagues.  It was precisely why he had planted his squad in the middle of everything, where they would be forced to acknowledge the presence of both him and his people.

He turned to face his troops, eyes meeting each member as he looked down the line.  He lingered on no one, tempted though he was.  He needed people to see that he wasn’t going to play favorites.  His squad existed to fight.  _He_ existed to fight.

“Who are we?” he called to them

“The Special Operations Squad, sir!” they cried in unison.

“Who do we fight for?”

“The Survey Corps, sir!”

“Why do we fight?”

“For the survival of humanity, sir!”

“And where is your loyalty?”

“To the King, sir!”

Levi saluted.  His squad saluted back with no hesitation.  He felt an almost uncomfortable warmth swelling in his chest.  Part of it, he knew, was Eren reaching out to him through the bond.  But it was more than that.  It was knowing that the members of his squad had his back.  They were still loyal to him.  They were still willing to follow him, in spite of what he had become.

“We’ll follow you to the ends of the earth, Captain,” Eld suddenly spoke.

“The ends of the earth and beyond,” Petra agreed.

The raven knew there were eyes on all of them.  Of course there were, because he had meant it to be so.  But to know that so many had witnessed his squadron’s pledge of allegiance not only to the Corps, but to _him_ meant the world.  He had never wanted to be a leader; it was just a role he had fallen into.  And he had friends, a family, that were willing to die for him, with him, because they trusted him.

Because, for some inexplicable reason, in their own individual ways, they loved him.

* * *

Following Levi’s presentation of his squad, they all immediately began running drills.  Levi found that he needed a fair amount of work himself.  His timing was off during his spin attacks.  Not surprising, since he had been out of commission for over a month and his only exercise had been sex.

He had no regrets.

The day progressed relatively normally, and the raven was surprised at the lack of snide comments that reached him.  Of course there were a few, still, but between his putting Eren and snotty recruits in their place, plus kicking the shit out of Erwin, no one was really willing to speak ill of his position anymore.  In fact, more people than not approached him to offer their congratulations on his new status of being bonded.  It was strange to him, but not unwelcome. 

“Hiya, Short Stack!”

Hanji.  An entity that Levi also deemed strange.  And definitely unwelcome.

“Go away, Shitty Glasses, I want to eat my lunch in peace.”

“Aww! But I haven’t seen you in weeks!  I’ve missed that grumpy façade of yours!  Although, from the sounds that were coming from Eren’s room, it didn’t seem like you were in such a foul mood then,” the scientist leered.

“Please go walk off the nearest cliff,” the raven retorted, stabbing at the chicken on his plate.

Hanji just cackled, playfully shoving against the small man’s shoulder before calming herself.

“In all seriousness,” she said, “you look good.  Healthy.  Happy.”

Levi offered a nod in response, but nothing else.  Hanji had known the raven too long for him to be able to pretend that what he was feeling wasn’t a big deal and she poked at him a bit.

“It’s ok to admit you’re happy, Levi.  No one is going to take him from you.  They couldn’t if they tried.”

“I never worry about anybody taking Eren from me.”

“Don’t you?”

“No,” he shook his head slightly, frowning into his tea mug.  “Eren’s…Eren.  He’s devoted, and loyal, and foolish, and…”

“Yours.”

“Yes,” Levi agreed, unable to hide his small smile.

“I’m glad you finally figured that out.”

Levi huffed, a corner of his mouth stretching upwards.  He smiled a lot more now that he was with Eren, and he was quite aware of it.  He was also aware of the fact that he didn’t think it was a bad thing.  Still, there was something that weighed on his mind, and he couldn’t stop himself from asking.

“Why didn’t anybody tell me?”

“About?” Hanji raised an eyebrow.

“Eren.  And his feelings.”

“I wanted to.  We all wanted to.  But…but it wasn’t our business to.”

“When did that ever stop you?” Levi quipped.

Hanji gave a smile of her own, though it was sad, and it was mirrored in her voice when she said, “This was different.  Love isn’t something you can force.  And the both of you were still alphas at the time.  Would you have honestly tried to pursue anything with him, Levi?”

“No,” he answered.  It was an honest response, but it tasted sour on his tongue.

“So, aren’t you glad that things worked themselves out?”

“Yeah, I am.  As much as I’m frustrated by this omega bullshit, I at least have…”

“EREN!”

Levi turned his head to follow the direction in which Hanji had suddenly bolted.  She was barreling right for the brunette and Eren had little time to do anything to react.

“Hanji! No! No! No! NO! SLOW DO—!”

Levi was fairly certain that time slowed to a near standstill just so he could watch Hanji tackle his mate.  She leapt in the air and was gliding, sailing, flying, until Eren’s shriek broke the spell and she careened into him.  He was amazed the brunette wasn’t knocked out of his damn boot.

“Eren, buddy!”

“Hi, Hanji,” he wheezed beneath her, glancing up just in time to note his lover looming over them.

“Well, good luck to you with this,” Levi deadpanned before he strode away.  He wanted no part of whatever mess the scientist had initiated.

“Wha—?  Levi!  Wait!”

“Noooope!  We’re on duty!  I’m your captain right now, and your captain is leaving you to fend for yourself!”

“But…!”

“Don’t break him, Hanji.”

“He regenerates!”

Eren flopped back against the stone floor and groaned.  He was fucked.

* * *

When Eren finally managed to scramble away from Hanji he made a beeline for his quarters.  His first day back to work was complete and he was exhausted, both emotionally and physically.  He had been nearly overwhelmed by the droves of people who had extended their well-wishes to him.  It was hard to fathom how Levi was processing it all.

He didn’t have to think on it much when he entered the officers’ hall and saw Levi standing in between his own quarters and Eren’s.  He was looking back and forth between the doors with the most hangdog expression the brunette had ever seen on anybody, let alone his stoic spitfire.

“Levi?”

“I…I don’t know where to go,” he said quietly, voice rough. 

“How long have you been here?”

“Ten minutes maybe.  I don’t know where I’m supposed to go.”

“Where do you want to go?” the alpha asked, voice quiet.  Careful.

“Home.”

_We are confused._

Home.  They hadn’t talked about living arrangements yet.  He and Levi were bonded mates.  Of course they wouldn’t live in separate quarters.

“Where is home?” was the next question Eren asked, taking a step closer.

“Wherever you are.”

_We are yours._

The answer was enough for Eren and he took Levi’s hand in his to lead him into his room.  Levi didn’t fight him on it, just followed.  He stood in the entryway and waited for Eren to close the door, stood patiently when the brunette came up behind him and hugged him close.

“This feels different than I thought it would,” Eren said.

“What?”

“It’s the end of our first day and I thought coming back here would be…that we…”

“I know what you mean.”

Levi understood what Eren was referring to.  Their day was over and instead of returning to separate quarters, they were now making a choice to share their space with each other.  There was no more distance between them.  It was daunting, and terrifying, and wonderful.

“Levi, can I…?”

“Yes.”

Eren’s mouth was covering his before he’d even finished speaking, the kiss soft and sweet.  It tasted of familiarity and domesticity, warm and welcoming.

It felt like home.

“I love you, Levi.  So very much.”

“Je t’aime, mon chéri.  Je t'adorerai pour toujours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Je t’aime, mon chéri. Je t'adorerai pour toujours. - I love you, my darling. I'll adore you forever.


	67. Polish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a step backwards, but sometimes that happens before you can go forward. I'm a little frustrated, but I know I'll get to where I want to be in the end.

The pair didn’t linger in the entryway long.  It was just long enough for the feeling of contentment, of cordial amiability, to settle between them.  When they parted it was without worry or fuss, Levi finding a chair to sit on so he could remove his boots, Eren stooping by the door to do the same.

“You want first bath?” the younger asked.  Not long ago that would have been a question he’d never dared to ask.  A question he would never have dreamed he’d be allowed to ask at all.  And now it was an inquiry he already knew the answer to.  He still made it because he wanted Levi to know he was always thinking about him.

“Yeah, thanks,” came the acknowledgement.  He had already started working off his harness, though he was unusually stiff and was having some trouble with his straps.

No matter.  Eren was on it.  He made his way over to the raven and started working at buckles.  It surprised the elder momentarily, but he regained his senses quickly enough and his own hands raised to reciprocate for his mate.  Eren couldn’t stop his smile, and it only grew wider as he continued working at belts and clasps.

“What?” the raven frowned, fingers stilling.

“You’re, uh…you’re purring,” the shifter said, shyly peering at his mate through his bangs.

The sound immediately stopped and Eren shook his head, a gentle laugh escaping him, fingers slipping beneath Levi’s chin to tip his head up for a kiss.

“Don’t stop, it’s a lovely sound.”

“I don’t do it on purpose,” Levi admitted.  “It just happens.”

“That’s ok, too,” the brunette spoke against his mouth.

“I have paperwork to do.”

“Mmhm.”

“Gamin distrayant,” the raven mumbled, succumbing to Eren’s advances.

“Did you just call me a brat in French?” he smirked between kisses.

“A distracting brat, yes.  You’re catching on.”

“You’re very consistent.”

“Is that a problem?”

“Never.”

“I’m going to go wash up.  I smell like titan vomit and ass.”

“Boner killer.”

“Slayer of dreams and desires, that’s me,” Levi chortled, pulling away to shove off the rest of his harness.  “I’ll be back out in a bit.”

“Take your time, relax.  Do you…do you want me to grab anything from your quarters maybe?”

“I’m in my quarters,” the raven stated decisively.  “But if you mean my old room, then I wouldn’t mind if you brought over some of my clothes and my toiletries from the bathroom.”

Eren beamed so brightly that Levi was sure he was going to burst into flames.

He just shook his head, chuckled, and went to start his bath.

* * *

Once Levi was situated in the tub, Eren left to grab the requested items from his old room.  The thought that it was now Levi’s “old” space and that Eren’s place was no longer his own, but a shared domain, was comforting.  He knew he couldn’t take Levi’s decision for granted.  It was a conscious choice he had made, and, immediate though it had been, the shifter was all too aware of the time it had taken for them to reach the point they were at.

He entered the raven’s former quarters without preamble and put down the box he had brought along with him to bring things back in.  Levi kept his things incredibly organized and the brunette knew their home was going to undergo a complete overhaul.  At least he hadn’t really finished unpacking his things yet.  It would make setup easier in the long run.

Moving along the walls, Eren started in one of his dressers.  There was little to be found aside from his military issue undergarments.  The brunette almost never saw Levi in casual clothes.  He was either in uniform or in that black suit, meant for looking more presentable in front of the big wigs in the capital.  Of course, Eren saw the elder naked quite frequently now.

He thought that was his best look.

“Down boy,” he mumbled to himself.  He wasn’t in the mood for a boner.  Not without Levi present, anyway.  “Let’s see what else he’s got in here…”

In the end, he only filled the box about halfway.  It contained the captain’s capes, jeans, uniform shirts, his extra harness, some bath oils he’d stored away, and a little surprise in a small burlap sack.  The same burlap sack that Levi had tucked in his cape on the way back from the outpost.

That was plenty for the time being.  The raven would be clean and clothed, which was all he ever really wanted.  They could deal with furniture later.  In any case, the brunette wanted to return to the comfort of his abode.  He wanted to return to the new life he’d somehow managed to forge for himself.

It was waiting for him just down the hall.

* * *

“What are these for?” Levi asked when Eren returned.  He was already dressed, which disappointed the brunette.  He’d wanted to give him a massage.  Seeing what Levi had in his hands, however, threw that notion right out the window.

The captain held two corked glass vials, one labeled with his name, one with Eren’s, and he was staring at them quite intently.  He knew what vials were, of course, but the ones he held were empty.  Obviously he and Eren were meant to fill them, but with what?

“Uh, those are…those are from Hanji,” Eren said, notably uncomfortable.

“Does she need more blood samples?” he scowled.  “Does that manic cow intend to bleed us dry?”

“Not exactly…”

“Why are you acting so weird?” the raven asked, narrowing his eyes.  “What does she want us to do?”

“You’re gonna be mad.”

“I won’t be mad.”

Levi was definitely going to be mad.

“She uh, she kinda wants samples of our…I mean we need to…it’s…”

“Eren!”

“We’re supposed to jack off and unload in those vials!” he yelped, face turning scarlet.

“You’ve got to be shitting me.”

Eren shook his head wildly, eyes shockingly wide.

“What the fuck for?!”

“She couldn’t figure out a way to create suppressants with our blood samples.  Mine evaporates just like titan blood when exposed to air.  She thought the presence of your blood would counteract it, but that didn’t work, so…”

“So she wants our spunk.”

“Yes.  She took a saliva sample from me, too.”

With a heavy sigh, Levi dropped his pants and made himself comfortable on the bed.

“I just fucking washed, too,” he grumbled before looking at Eren expectantly.  “Well?”

“You want me to help?”

Levi shrugged, hand already working over himself.  He was oddly at ease about it.

“May as well enjoy it if we have to do it.”

The brunette sucked his lower lip into his mouth, unable to tear his eyes away from the captain’s hand.  He was quite content just watching until he remembered the item in the small bag.

“Would you be opposed to adding something else to the mix?  I mean, if we’re going to do this anyway…”

“What do you have, Eren?” Levi quirked an onyx eyebrow. 

It was amazing to the shifter that the raven could sound coy and suspicious at the same time.  He wasn’t sure he would ever tire of it now that he knew it was fairly commonplace.  When he was amorous, anyway.

“Are you going to stand there all night drooling, or are you going to show me whatever it is?”

“Huh?  Oh!  Right!” the brunette replied scurrying over to his table to grab the burlap bag.  He reached inside and pulled out a long cylindrical object.  It was around six inches long, black in color, smooth and highly polished with a thick orb at the base, though there was plenty of room for a hand to grip beneath it.  When Eren looked up at Levi, he found the raven looking amused rather than upset.

“Found the dildo, I see.”

“You know what this is?”

“You don’t?”

“I just…I’ve never…”

Levi rolled his eyes and beckoned Eren closer, grabbing him by his shirt to pull him down for a kiss.

“Guess I’ll have to teach you some more, huh?”

“I know how to use a dildo!”

“Prove it, gamin,” the elder taunted. A challenge.

Eren loved to be challenged.  At least when it came to Levi.

He’d show him exactly how much he knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gamin distrayant - Distracting brat  
> Gamin - Kid/brat


	68. Spit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will probably seem like I'm making the story longer, but it's on track to end at 70 <3

“Hah-how is it that I’m al-wayyyys the one that ends up face d-down with my ass in the air?” 

“You literally asked for this.  Why are you complaining?”

“I’m not compl-ain-ing,” Levi drawled, “I’m just making a po-hoi-nt!”

“Mmm,” Eren hummed, pushing the tip of the dildo against Levi’s prostate.  The raven had agreed to its use, and prep time had been minimal.  Now it was buried almost knot deep in the elder’s ass, Eren kneeling behind him with a lascivious grin on his face.

“Shit,” the raven groaned, shoving himself back against the toy. 

“You close?”

“Y-yeah…”

Eren grabbed Levi’s hips and pulled him off the bed, mindful of placing his feet flat on the floor.

“Give it to me,” the brunette demanded, holding out his hand for the vial.

“Aren’t you giving it to me right now?” Levi huffed through a moan, rocking back against the toy.

The alpha responded without thinking about it, raising his hand and dropping it down on Levi’s ass with a sharp smack while declaring that Levi was a cheeky brat.

Everything stopped.  Eren stopped moving.  Eren stopped breathing.  There was a split second where he was sure his heart stopped, too.  And then it fell into his feet as Levi’s head slowly turned, brows raised.

“Did you just spank me?”

The brunette nodded dumbly.

“Did you mean to?”

Eren shook his head slowly, afraid of what would happen to him if he moved any faster.

“Pity, that,” he sighed, pushing his hips back again.  “I like it.”

“You like it?” the brunette repeated, voice somewhere on the edge of awestruck.

“I do.  And I like it when you talk to me. Parle-moi, gamin.”

“You like it when I…” Eren trailed off.  Something electric coursed through him, hot and exciting.  He hadn’t been fully cognizant of it before, but he did talk to the raven during sex.  A lot.  He’d believed he’d kept his thoughts private, but that wasn’t the case if Levi’s account was anything to go by.

“Don’t stop,” Levi whined.  “Jesus fuck, don’t tease me.”

It was almost automatic, Eren’s hand falling on Levi’s backside again.  He watched as porcelain skin warmed pink beneath his palm, smiled, and happily smacked the other cheek.  He felt something settle in him.  It wasn’t contentment.  This feeling was entirely different.  Satisfaction, perhaps.  Whatever it was, he liked it, and Levi was less than opposed to his treatment.

“It’s strange to me,” Eren began, “that this would get you off.  Not wrong, but not what I would have expected.”

“Why not?” the elder chuffed, a soft squeak sneaking past his lips when Eren sharply thrusted the toy forward.

“Because you’ve been responding to me calling you a good boy.  I’ve heard the way you moan when I praise you, like it’s the only thing you want.  But it’s not, is it?” the brunette growled in the raven’s ear, the sound low, laced with a promise of more pain.  Pain that Levi would like.

“Sometimes pain is good,” was the only answer Levi provided.

“Yes, sometimes pain is good,” came Eren’s groan.  “So good,” he shuddered.  He moved the toy faster, enough to give the captain a good jolt, enough to make him squeal.

Levi was curling his toes against the floor, one leg lifting as he tried to crawl back onto the bed.

Eren bared his teeth and sunk them into Levi’s right shoulder, just barely breaking skin, quietly snarling, “Be still.”

The smaller obeyed, growling in return when he was pulled back to the floor, the shifter using his own groin to grind against the dildo and push it deeper.  He yipped and snapped at the tan arm that held him in place, but nothing about the action was malicious.  If anything, Levi was ecstatic.  Eren was going to find out about his proclivities one way or another, and now was as good a time as any.  He didn’t sense anything other than arousal through their bond, and that put him at ease.

Somehow Eren managed to snatch up the glass tube by Levi’s head, working it between the mattress and his crotch.  With his pelvis doing the work of keeping the toy in place, that left his other hand free to run the length of the raven’s cock, driving him closer to orgasm.

“Do you know what I want you to do, Levi?” Eren rumbled.

The captain shook his head, hiding his face in his forearms while Eren pounded him into the side of the bed.  The back of his neck glowed bright red in a combination of embarrassment and exertion.  He moaned when Eren pressed the mouth of the vial against the head of his cock, collecting the drops of moisture that already resided there.  His instructions were simple.

“I want you to be a good boy and fill this up for me.  Don’t.  Spill.  A drop.  Do you understand?”

“Oui!” Levi hissed, stomping a foot when Eren’s hand slowed.  The stroke was incredibly firm, long and demanding, like the brunette was going to milk every last drop from him.  That shouldn’t have been nearly as arousing at it was.

Eren didn’t entirely understand why he was behaving in such a fashion.  In the back of his mind he knew what he was doing was filthy and degrading, but Levi liked it.  He liked it, so it couldn’t be wrong.  It occurred to him, through the thick haze of lust, that there were still so many things he didn’t know about his mate.  So many things he still needed to learn.  He’d discover everything in time.  He’d make sure of that.

“Keep talking! N'arrête pas de parler!”

“I don’t feel like you’re in a position to be making demands, chéri…” Eren laughed, teasing sarcasm woven into his voice.

Grey eyes slammed shut and Levi snarled into the sheets, knees buckling as he finally fell into his release.  Eren was grinding the dildo impossibly deep, keeping pressure on his prostate, and it stole his breath away.  He gasped for air, choked with the effort of trying to breathe.

Filling up the vial was not an issue.

The brunette pressed his forehead between scarred and sweaty shoulder blades, doing his best to keep Levi from jerking.  The glass warmed in his palm, the raven spilling into it hard and fast.  It took every bit of will power Eren had not to come in his own pants.  Something about collecting semen from his lover was disgustingly gratifying and it stirred something primal in him.

When it seemed Levi had given all he could, Eren carefully pulled the tube away and replaced the stopper, wrapping it in some soft cotton on the nightstand to keep it from rolling away and breaking.  He turned around to see Levi leaning against the bed, a dark grin on his face, chest heaving, and pupils blown wide.

_Exquisite._

A small hand reached out to caress the hard bulge in Eren’s pants, the shifter leaning forward to cage Levi in against the furniture.  The bond throbbed at the thought of a challenge, but there was none to be had.  The raven just ran the tip of his tongue up along the brunette’s throat, placing a soft nip just below his scent gland, breath hot on his flesh.

“Your turn,” whispered across Eren’s skin and he was sure he was going to lose himself in Levi all over again.

Forever disoriented, never knowing which way was up, adrift in a sea of adoration.

He’d happily drown.

* * *

Eren fell asleep shortly after their liaison.  Levi opted to lay beside him for a little while, fingers combing through tangled russet before ghosting across his face, tracing the outline of his nose, his lips, his jaw. He nuzzled against the younger’s throat, laying his body across a strong chest, chin resting somewhere along Eren’s ribcage.

_We are lucky._

“You never gave up on me,” Levi smiled, though it was mostly to himself.  He smiled a lot now, he knew.  They were still small, nearly imperceptible ones, but Eren saw them.  They were meant for him, so the raven was glad for it.  But he’d never stop being amazed by the alpha’s tenacity, his staunch belief that Levi was worth all the trouble, all the effort he had put forth.  “Stubborn little shit.”

Eren snored and wrapped his arm around Levi’s back, one of his legs falling out of the blankets to dangle off the side of the bed.  The raven just rolled his eyes and extricated himself, kissing the alpha’s forehead before leaving him to get dressed and deliver the samples to Hanji.

“Levi?” Eren mumbled, groggy.

“Go back to sleep, gamin.  I have to deliver this stuff to Hanji, and then there’s some paperwork I need to deal with.”

“D’you need help?”

“No, it’s alright.  Rest.”

“Mmk.”

And just like that, Eren was out again.

Levi was envious

* * *

“Oi!  Shitty Glasses!”

“Leviiiiiii!  My favorite angry muppet!”

“What the fuck is a muppet?”

“Don’t worry about it.  What’re you doing here so late?”

He held out the vials, face twisting into an expression of disgust.

“I brought you the dick spit samples you requested.”

“Oooo! Thanks!  Man, you two spared nothing, huh?”

“Could we not?” the raven wrinkled his nose.

Hanji only shrugged, scuttling over to her microscope and pulling out a fresh slide.  The tubes were quickly nestled away in a vial rack before she uncorked one and placed a pipette inside to withdraw a small sample.  It took her just a minute to get everything situated, and then she was peering through the lens.

The following squeal was ear piercing.

“Ooooo!!! You’ve got some nice swimmers, Short Stack!”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean, I know you’re not into it, but you could impregnate a rock!”

His voice was flat when he said, “I’m sure my rock children would be chiseled and stunning.”

“Did you just make a joke?”

Levi snorted and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Are you quite finished?”

“Yeah, yeah,” she waved him off.  “Go sex up your lover boy.  I can work with this.”

“I have paperwork to do,” he scowled.  “We do more than fuck.”

Hanji laughed, the sound cheerful and strangely supportive, if one could call a laugh such.

“You don’t need to defend it, Levi.  I can smell it on you.  Everybody can.  What you two are doing is perfectly normal, and…”

“Stop.  I know how it works.  I am more than familiar with the mechanics.”

“I’m not talking about mechanics,” the scientist returned preparing a new slide with a sample from Eren.  “I’m talking about your bond.  It’s new, it’s fresh, and you two have gone through a lot.  Even without either of you cycling, breeding will be fairly frequent for awhile.”

“How long is “awhile”?”

“Mmm,” she hummed, “I’ve been told that the feeling becomes less of an itch and more of a comforting sort of urge.  The bond will tell you.  You’ll know.”

“I need you to figure out how to fix…this...”

“You’re not broken, Levi.”

“I am.  I’ve always been broken, and I’ve dealt with that.  I’m not angry.  I was, but I’m not now.  All the same, my purpose isn’t to be relegated to some stay-at-home fuck toy.  I need…I have to be able to fight.”

“You know Eren doesn’t see you that way.”

“You’re right, he doesn’t.  But it’s not about how he sees me.”

“I see,” she said.

“We have two months until our next expedition.  I'll be riding with my squad, one way or another.”

“I’ll do what I can, Captain.”

A curt nod was all Levi gave before taking his leave.

Hanji didn’t watch him go.  She had work to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oui! - Yes!  
> N'arrête pas de parler! - Don't stop talking!  
> chéri - darling/sweetheart


	69. Tables

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 69...70 is going to be it.
> 
> I can't believe I did it. I may legitimately cry.

There were multiple ways Eren and Levi woke up together.  Sometimes Eren would nose the raven into wakefulness, nudging under his chin until he got annoyed enough to open his eyes.  Sometimes Levi would pinch the brunette in the side until he shrieked with laughter and fell out of bed.  Most often Eren woke to find cloudy grey watching him intently.

But today?

“LEVI!  EREN!  WAKE UP!”

Today their alarm was the shrill cry of a mad scientist.

“It’s too early for her,” Eren groaned.  “We don’t have children.  What is happening?”

“I am going to pluck every hair out of her head, shove them up her ass, and use her as a fucking paintbrush,” Levi half-growled, not even bothering to open his eyes.

“Your threats don’t make sense when you’re tired.”

“Just get rid of her.”

“People would shit themselves if they knew what a baby you were in the morning,” Eren teased as he swung his legs over the side of the bed.

Levi just swatted at him.

The shifter stretched and yawned, throwing on a pair of pajama pants before heading to the door.  Hanji hadn’t stopped pounding on it.

“G’morning, Han—hey!”

Hanji barged past Eren, ignoring his protests in favor of pouncing on the raven who had wiled himself away beneath the covers.  Neither man had any time to react before Hanji had wrenched away the blankets and stabbed the captain in the ass with a needle.

Levi’s reaction was immediate and violent.  He was hissing and spitting, growling and roaring.  Hanji, of course, cackled like the deranged lunatic she was.  Her smile persisted even when Levi pinned her to the floor.

“What did you just do to me, you psychotic degenerate?!”

“You’re a grumpy morning munchkin, aren’t ya?” she grinned, peering downwards.  Her gaze was averted as quickly as she’d peeked.  “Mini Levi is giving me quite the sun salutation, too.”

“That.  Is not.  For you,” the raven snarled, removing himself from his colleague.  He stood and took hold of the blanket Eren offered, wrapping it tightly around himself.  It was too early and too cold for this shit.

“Ah, all for Eren then, huh?” she waggled her eyebrows at the wayward brunette.  He was bright red, but anger wasn’t registering in his expression, only befuddlement.  “In any case, that was the first dose of your new suppressants!”

“What?” Levi blinked.  It had only been two weeks, how could she have…

“You alright, Tiny?”

“You…I’m…I won’t….”

Eren stepped forward, a hand finding its place on the raven’s shoulder.

“Levi?”

The captain swayed on his feet and fell back onto the bed, gaze still focused on Hanji.  Her smile never faltered.  He thought about hugging her and immediately dismissed the idea.  Her boundaries were already nonexistent and he didn’t need to exacerbate the issue.  He looked up at Eren and then back at the doctor, frowning deeply.

“Are you ok Short Stack?”

“I don’t…” he paused, brows scrunching further together, “I don’t know what to say.”

“Thank you is what normal human beings say,” Eren chuckled, running his fingernails over the raven’s nape.

“But…that’s not enough.”

“Well, it’s all I’ll accept, so you best deal with it,” the scientist razzed him.

“Thank you,” he murmured, leaning into his mate’s side.  He didn’t even realize he had done it, and neither Hanji nor Eren said anything.

“Turns out I’d been approaching things all wrong.”

“How so?” Eren tipped his head.

“Suppressants work by tamping down the elevated levels of hormones in our bodies based on our secondary gender.  Alphas have suppressants that are actually estrogen and progesterone based, while omegas receive suppressants with higher doses of testosterone and the like.”

“Yeah?  So why wouldn’t either have worked on Levi?”

“Because his hormone levels aren’t consistent.  It’s one of the reasons he’s always cycled so often.  Knowing what I know now, chances are that his elevated estrogen levels were high enough that they threw him into rut because heat wasn’t an option.”

“But…he’s been through two heats now.  How…?”

“Ahhh, that’s still all you, Loverboy!” Hanji barked, eyes glittering with amusement.  “I wager he’s got an underdeveloped ovary or some such in there.  Your constant presence and Levi’s shift in feelings altered his hormone production.  He produces enough estrogen to go into heat, but lacks the capability to reproduce as an omega would.”

“Yeah, well, according to you I could “impregnate a rock.””

“Did you seriously just use air quotes?”

“Did you seriously just barge into my quarters at four in the morning and stab me in the ass with a needle?”

“Touché.”

“Wait, so, Levi can’t reproduce as an omega, but he can as an alpha?” the shifter spoke up, interrupting their arguing.

“Well, that’s the thing,” Hanji sucked in one of her cheeks, biting at it.  “Chances are that this treatment will render Levi close to sterile, if not completely so.  Can you two accept that?”

“You already stuck me with the damn needle you wench!”

“I did, but one injection isn’t going to do it.  That being said, if, for some reason you ever changed your minds, Eren’s little fellas are quite numerous and active!”

“I’m not changing my mind,” the raven snorted.

“Me either.  And…it’s Levi’s choice anyway.  Not mine.”

“You two are disgusting together and it makes me so happy!  I think my teeth might fall out!”

“You could avoid that if you ever brushed them you heathen.  How often am I going to need to take this shit?”

“Once a month for now…I think.”

“You think?”

“Well, I have no idea how long the effects will last, if it works at all.”

“Have you even tested this shit!?!?”

“I whipped this up in two weeks’ time because _you_ pressed me to rush.  You’ve already answered your own question,” the brunette retorted, more than unimpressed with the inquiry.  “Look, the serum being used is actually spun down from Eren’s semen.  His testosterone levels are unusually high, even for an alpha.  That’s why he cycles so often.  And while it’s also what is likely to keep your estrogen levels at bay, there is a chance that these injections could throw you into rut, potentially on a monthly cycle just like Eren’s.” 

“You are fucking insane!”

“I am not!  Erwin had me tested!” she stomped her foot. 

“Get out!”

“Ugh! Fine!  But you need to tell me about any side-effects you experience so I can adjust the formulation if necessary.  I really don’t expect anything worse than some light nausea and a bit of cramping, but that shouldn’t last any longer than a couple of days.”

“Fucking fine!”

“Um, bye, I guess?”

“I’ll see you boys in a couple hours.  Don’t get do anything I wouldn’t do!  Oh, and Eren?”

“Yeah?”

“Nice score,” she winked.

She escaped just as Levi’s metal water jug hit the door.

* * *

Showers completed and gear donned, the duo made their way to morning mess.  Levi looked a bit peaked, but Eren refused to comment on it.  He followed the captain in silence, got his food, and at the raven’s instructions, went to sit with his friends.

“Mornin’ Eren!”

“Hey Connie,” Eren mumbled around his toast.

“Good t’have you back, man.”

“Speak for yourself—ow!” Jean yelped.  His gaze fell on Armin, who was innocently sipping his coffee.

“Nice to see you, too, Horsefa—HEY!” the brunette glared at the ravenette to his left.  She was innocently eating her eggs.

“No Cap’n this morning?” Sasha asked, mouthful of porridge.

“Would you fucking swallow first?  We don’t need a repeat of the stew incident!” the ash blonde chided her.

“Captain’s sitting with the other officers,” Eren nodded towards a table in the corner where Erwin, Mike, and Nanaba sat.

“Why isn’t he over here?” Mikasa frowned.

“We’re not officers,” Eren shrugged.

“But you’re his…”

“Yeah, I am.  But that doesn’t mean I need to be with him all the time.  He’s gotten along without me for years.  I think he can handle eating at a separate table.”

“Can you?”

“What?”

“Handle it.”

“It’s not like it was before,” the shifter smiled at his sister before he turned his eyes to his mate across the room.  “If he needs me, he’ll let me know.”

Mikasa scrutinized Eren for just a moment before nodding.  That was a good enough answer for her.

* * *

“Are you listening Levi?”

“Huh?” the captain started at Erwin’s voice, a rough swallow working saliva down his throat.  He felt like he was drooling everywhere and he just couldn’t get it down fast enough.

“I asked if you were prepared to lead the expedition next month?  Are you and Eren recovered enough?”

“We’re more than ready,” Levi waved him off, adjusting his cravat before picking up his tea mug.

“I don’t expect any trouble to arise, but…”

“You should.  You know as well as I do that those gluttonous bastards show up at the most inopportune times.”

“Is that your way of telling me that you are more than capable of dealing with any unintended situations?”

Levi gave a single nod.

“Not hungry this morning, Captain?”

“No, Mike.  Here,” the raven answered, shoving his tray towards the larger man.  The very thought of food was nauseating and he wanted to be rid of it before his stomach tried to empty itself.

A soft huffing above his head had silver eyes glancing sidelong at the towering male next to him.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“All due respect, Captain,” Mike snuffled at his hair, “you don’t smell right.”

Levi clocked him right in the nose.

"Really, Levi?" Erwin scowled in disapproval, glancing over the table top to see Mike gripping his face.

The raven only shrugged, hiding his smile in his tea mug.


	70. Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. Chapter 70. I'm surprisingly overwhelmed and in tears.
> 
> To those of you who have made it to the end, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. As I have mentioned before, this was supposed to be a oneshot. It turned into something bigger, grander, more substantial. It showed me what I can do as a writer. That I can reach people. That long fic with character development and world building can be appreciated.
> 
> There are over 1100 comments on this work. The views are in the tens of thousands. I have thousands of kudos.
> 
> I am humbled, and grateful, and...I hope that this end feels as satisfying to you as it does to me.

Levi hated many things.  His insomnia, aristocrats, incessant chatter, Hanji’s singing.  But he was also grateful for many things, with Eren being at the top of his list.  Especially when he was suffering through cold sweats and spontaneous vomiting.

Vomiting was definitely on his hate list.

“Here’s some water,” Eren offered, rubbing the raven’s back. 

“By our sister saints, Eren, please just kill me,” Levi groaned, clinging to the edge of the toilet.  He eventually took the water with a shaky hand, trying to control his intake.

“I’ll do no such thing,” the brunette said, removing the cup from Levi’s grasp and setting it aside.  He swept the captain up in his arms only to be reprimanded for it.

“I’m not an invalid!  I can walk!” Levi snapped, squirming out of Eren’s hold.  Truthfully, he was dehydrated, and tired, and he definitely shouldn’t have lead the training exercise for the new recruits that day.  It wouldn’t hurt anything to let his mate baby him the way he wanted to.

“You’re just sour because you threw up on Jean.”

“No, Jean is sour because I threw up on Jean.”

“I thought it was pretty great.”

“Tu es dégoûtant,” the elder grumbled, stumbling over to the bed and collapsing atop it.  “Wake me in an hour.  I have reports to finish.”

“Yes, sir,” the brunette agreed, pressing a kiss to a pale, clammy forehead.  “I’m going to go clean up the bathroom.  There’s more water on the nightstand.”

“I don’t know what’s worse.  This, or being in heat.”

“It’ll be over soon, love.  Hanji said it shouldn’t last more than a couple of days.  I’ll brew you some tea while you sleep.”

“She’s lucky I haven’t run her through yet.”

Eren chuckled.  His mate was petulant when he didn’t feel well, and it was adorable and endearing.  Though Levi still tried his best to be self-sufficient, the alpha knew that the elder enjoyed being doted on as long as he wasn’t overbearing.  These were the little things Eren got to see that others didn’t, and he coveted them.

* * *

Hanji was correct in that the nausea didn’t last long.  What she had failed to mention was the potential for absolutely horrific mood swings.  Rage in particular.

“Why.  Are you chewing.  So loudly?” Levi hissed, glaring at Sasha.

“I—“ Sasha tried, mouth full of potato.

“Don’t speak.  Swallow that mess in your face and learn some damn decorum.”

Everybody looked to Eren after the captain had stormed off.

“He’s, uh…he’s a little touchy right now.”

“Maybe you need to touch him more,” Mikasa said offhandedly.

“What are you doing?! You’re my sister!  Stop that!”

“I’m just trying to be supportive.”

No one was safe from the raven’s ire.  Nanaba was scolded for a wrinkle in her collar.  He went after Oluo for his cravat having a spot on it.  And Mike…

“I swear to shit, if you try to sniff me again I will rip off your nose and shove it up your ass!”

By the time the day had ended, Levi had managed to insult almost everyone he had come in contact with.  While that wasn’t exactly unusual, what had been was the harsh nature of his criticisms.  Levi was the pinnacle of control when it came to his emotions, and he was spiraling out of control again.  He even scowled as he removed his harness, spitting curses when he got tangled up in his legs.

“Calm down,” Eren soothed easing his mate into a chair.  He did his best to offer calming scents, but he wasn’t sure they’d be much help. 

“I am calm.”

“You smell like burning sewage.  You are not calm.  What’s the problem?”

“I’m fine.”

“Levi,” the brunette insisted, “you are not fine.  Would you just…”

“Fuck off, Eren,” was the muttered response.  It wasn’t angry, it was just tired.

Eren fucked off.  He left their quarters to spend some time in the barracks with Armin and Jean, because his presence was clearly unwelcome.

Levi chastised himself for it, burying himself in paperwork instead of drowning himself in the tub like he felt like doing.

* * *

“Eren!” Armin perked up at the appearance of his friend.  “What are you doing here?”

“Levi told me to fuck off, so I came here,” he shrugged.

“Trouble in paradise already, Jaeger?  Come on, even you couldn’t fuck shit up this quickly,” Jean taunted him.

“Things are fine, you equine asshole.  He's just…in a mood.”

“You mean he’s being a bitch,” the ash blonde smirked.

“He is not!  He’s just trying to adjust.”

“I don’t know why you’re making excuses for him,” Jean sighed, picking at his nails with a pen knife.  “You know he hates that sort of shit.”

“Jean might be right,” Armin interjected.  “The captain’s just…he’s…”

“Being a bitch.”

“Stop that!  You’re helping nothing!”

“Aren’t I?”

Eren sighed and dropped his face into his hands.

“I don’t know what to do.  Everything I try is the wrong thing and he just yells at me.”

“Did ya try slippin’ him the D?” Connie piped up from his bunk.

“For the love of the walls, Connie, you can’t just say shit like that!”

“But did ya?”

“If I tried to do that I wouldn’t have a dick anymore.”

“You regenerate,” the trio spoke together.

“Ok, first of all, that is creepy as shit.  Don’t do that!  Secondly, that is so not the point!  I want to keep it attached!”

“Is that even your original one?”

“CONNIE!”

“Seriously though, Jaeger, what’s his deal?  He’s acting like you did when you were fifteen.”

“What?  No he’s…I wasn’t that bad!”

It was Armin, of all people, who burst into laughter.

“What!?”

“You “weren’t that bad”?!  You once lost control of your titan and went on a rampage because the captain said that you were too edgy and needed to masturbate more often!”

“I believe,” Jean interrupted, “what he actually said was, “If you bothered to fuck around less with the stick stuck up your ass and more with the one between your legs, you’d be more relaxed.””

“…. …Shut up.”

Jean and Connie both fell to the floor, howling with laughter.

“How about the time you made Sasha cry by shoving her piece of pie in Hitch’s face for calling out your crush on the Captain?” Jean choked out, tears streaming down his face.

“You’re all terrible friends.”

Armin wiped away a tear and took a deep breath, trying to school himself back into seriousness.

“Honestly, Eren, it’s ok to tell him he’s being a jerk.”

“Bitch!”

“Jean!”

“You can make him aware of his behavior and still support how he’s feeling.  He’s done it for you for years.”

That realization made Eren blush.  It wasn’t from embarrassment, but fondness.  That was exactly what Levi had done for him.  Always.  He felt remorseful for leaving the raven as he had, and there was a tug in his chest that made him aware the raven had felt it.

“I gotta go,” he spoke as he stood.  He suddenly felt a great urgency to return to his quarters and he couldn’t ignore it.

“What?  No thank you?” Jean huffed.

“Give him the D!” Connie laughed.

Eren flipped them both off.

Armin got a hug.

“Ingrate,” Jean smirked after the door closed.

“He’s happy, though.”

“Yeah.”

* * *

“Eren?”

Levi’s voice reached him the moment he walked through the door.  He was sitting at his desk, the room swathed in darkness save for one lantern that he had lit so he could work.

“Hey,” the brunette half smiled.  “I’m sorry I left.”

He heard he raven swallow and made his way over, concerned by his silence.  When he brushed back inky bangs, he saw tearstains beneath tired eyes.  He immediately pulled Levi into his arms and buried his face against his neck.

“I shouldn’t have left you.  I was wrong.”

“I was being an asshole.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Eren insisted.  “It doesn’t matter.  I spent so much time being angry when I was younger, and you never told me not to be.  You didn’t allow it to destroy me, but you never told me I wasn’t allowed to be angry.  What I did wasn’t fair.”

“But…as long as you have breath in your body, right?” Levi whispered into Eren’s chest.

“I will always come back.”

“Keep breathing.”

“Always for you, Levi.”

* * *

When they finally retired to bed that night, Eren took Levi slowly.  He let the raven tangle himself up, loosened the knots, untied and retied them over and over again.  He let Levi work out his frustration and fear through the motion of his body, kissed away what pain he could, stole away what sorrow he was able to reach.

There was something that Eren had realized after coming back to Levi sitting alone in the dark, and it was that Levi was afraid.  It was another reminder that, despite what other people thought of him, the raven was not cold, or unfeeling, or apathetic.  He loved hard and with his whole heart, and that wasn’t something Eren could ever take for granted.

“As long as I have breath in my body…” Eren murmured in a porcelain ear as he rocked forward.

“You will come back,” Levi shivered, arms wrapping around Eren’s shoulders to pull him closer. 

* * *

Levi’s sickness abated by the end of the week, and he and Eren had fallen into a comfortable living pattern.  Levi showered first in the morning while Eren dealt with making the bed and starting a pot of tea.  They helped each other gear up, walked to the mess hall together, and then separated for breakfast to eat with their respective friends and colleagues.

After breakfast they ran their drills, Eren sometimes going off with Hanji to have more experiments run.  Other times he helped Levi in training the new recruits.  At the end of the day, they helped each other undress, took a bath together more often than not, and ate their dinner together.  Sometimes Levi joined Eren and his friends, sometimes Eren sat amongst the officers, and other times they returned to their quarters to eat with nobody else’s company at all.

They made love whenever they had the chance, Eren bottoming less frequently than he would have expected.  Not that he was going to complain about it.  He would never stop appreciating the fragility Levi showed to him, and only him.

They were happy.  They were content.

And they were still soldiers.

When the day finally came for them to ride out, they were restless.  Eren was itching to move, and while he didn’t necessarily welcome a fight, he knew he was up for the challenge if the need arose.  He shifted in his saddle, kept searching for Levi, who hadn’t joined up with the squad yet, did his best to settle his nerves, because it wouldn’t do to have that cross their bond now.  It was too distracting, and distraction was dangerous.

“You look constipated when you do that,” a low voice cut through the chatter.  “Détends-toi, gamin.”

The shifter whipped his head around, searching for the source of the voice.  He was on edge being unable to see the raven.

“Look to your left, brat.”

The bond almost sighed with relief when brilliant green found that now familiar mirror grey staring back at him.  Those eyes, always appearing heavy-lidded and apathetic to others, held so much fondness and affection when they fell on Eren.  It made his heart hurt in the best way.

“How are you feeling, Captain?” the shifter asked, walking his horse nearer to the elder.

“No signs of rut, no signs of heat.  I feel better than I have in a long while,” the raven admitted.

There was little time left for them to speak, Erwin calling for his squadron to fall into their formations.  Eren made to turn his mount so he could find his proper place, but Levi grabbed his horse’s bridle before he could do so.

Levi was watching him in that unreadable way of his.  Calculating, debating.  And then his hand shot forward to twist in Eren’s cloak, pulling him into a deep kiss.  There were a few wolf whistles, a couple of teasing retching sounds, but they were all easily ignored when the love of Eren’s life was looking at him like _that_.  In that way that only he understood.

“I have spent my whole life understanding that someday I was going to die,” Levi laughed, though it was humorless.  “For the first time, I feel like I’m not ready for it.  I can’t accept it.”

“Levi…”

“This isn’t our last, day, Eren.  I won’t let it be.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not done loving you.”

It was Eren’s turn to claim a kiss, warm and meaningful, glassy beads rolling down his cheeks.  If Levi understood nothing else in the world, he would at least know that Eren would walk to the ends of the earth for him. 

Follow him into Hell. 

Give his very life.

“You are the breath in my body, Levi.  Forever.”

_Je t’aime._

_Toujours._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tu es dégoûtant - You're disgusting  
> Détends-toi, gamin - Relax, kid/brat  
> Je t’aime - I love you  
> Toujours - Forever


End file.
